


The Life They Knew

by BytemeGeekette



Series: The Life They Knew [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom, olicity AU - Fandom
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Loss, Love, olicity - Freeform, olicity au, smoaknlance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 144,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4944559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BytemeGeekette/pseuds/BytemeGeekette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - Olicity - Felicity loved watching the happy life that her best friend had built for herself. Oliver watched his best friend reach every milestone he himself feared. An unexpected tragedy thrusts their lives together in a way neither could imagine. Could they over come their hate for each other to help fulfill the last wishes of their best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Felicity

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by the movie 'Life as We Know It'

Felicity hummed to herself as she pulled out a wine glass and sat it on her counter. This day called for at least two glasses of wine, oh hell who was she kidding, she intended to have the whole bottle. Tomorrow was Saturday and she could sleep in.

She tapped on her tablet and smiled, happy to see the program she’d worked so hard on for the last couple weeks was running just as it should. She set the tablet down and popped the cork on one of her favorite red wines. She poured a glass and just as she lifted it to her lips a rumbling sound drew her attention.

She crossed into her living room searching for the sound. She took a sip of wine as she made her way across the room to her purse on the coffee table. She had left her phone in it when she got home, too eager to crack open the bottle of wine.

She rummaged through her purse and pulled out her phone. Her best friend's bright smile lit up the screen, she answered it immediately.

“Laurel!!!”

“Hi, Felicity! How are you doing?” Laurel’s cheerful voice came through the line, it acted as a balm on her frayed nerves.

Felicity hadn't realized just how much she'd missed her best friend until hearing her voice. Laurel and she had been best friends since they were five. Felicity had knocked her down on a playground on accident and after the tears had subsided they’d been together ever since. They shared everything together, even went to the same college, though Laurel had gone into law and Felicity into computer and internet security.

“I’m... you know... I’m me.” Laurel’s hum through the earpiece had Felicity switching gears. Maybe she should try for a cheerier tone. “No, actually, I’m good. Just settling in for the evening. I was about to start in on a bottle of wine. How are you doing?” Felicity ran on as she took a sip of wine and moved to sit on her couch, toeing out of her heels and pushing them under the coffee table.

“I’m doing great. I'm more or less worried about you though. Are you really doing okay?” Laurel’s voice dripped with concern for her.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Felicity lazed back into the couch and looked at the ceiling.

“Because it’s been three months since Cooper broke off your three-year relationship. Two and a half months since Tommy and I got engaged. I haven’t seen you since our engagement party over a month ago, in which you wore that forced happy face you pull when you want me to believe you have your shit together. But I know you Felicity!” Laurel’s voice had slipped into that bossy annoyed friend tone that Felicity found equal parts annoying and endearing.

Felicity groaned as she pulled herself up to a sitting position, and set her wine glass down on the coffee table. She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “I’m fine Laurel, really.”

“I don’t think so. You only avoid attachments when you’re unhappy, like really unhappy. I remember when things went weird between you and that Colin kid in college. You hid away in your bunk for four days and banged out every assignment due through the end of the semester, just because you could. You throw yourself into work which would be fine, but work isn’t going to make you happy forever,” Laurel said softly. “I really want you to be happy sweetie.”

Felicity knew that Laurel was right. It wasn’t Laurel who had stayed away for weeks it was her own doing. She had been conveniently too busy with a work project to go to dinner, or she’d miss a call and make sure to call back during a time when she knew Laurel would be busy with work. Felicity had been avoiding her best friend. It had been harder than she imagined to put on a bright smiling face at their engagement party a month ago. Seeing them so happy just reminded her of how close she’d been to the same thing and failed.

“I know,” she finally answered rubbing her misty eyes before drawing in a deep cleansing breath. She reminded herself that she couldn’t change the past. Running into Cooper just that day had proved that he had moved on. Had it really been three months? Felicity knew deep down that she needed to too. “Laurel, you’re right.”

“Well, of course, I’m right! Sooo… I um… I may have set you up on a blind date,” Laurel said quickly into the phone.

“WHAT?! Laurel, please tell me you’re just playing around!” Felicity growled into the phone.

“I’m not! Don’t you growl at me! Come on Felicity! You aren’t going to find someone sitting at home downing a bottle of wine all by yourself night after night.”

“I don-”

“Don’t lie. You know you can’t lie to me so don’t. It’ll save us both a lot of time,” Laurel stated sternly over the line. Felicity could just imagine that Laurel was standing with her hip cocked to one side, hand placed on her hip.

“Fine, I won’t lie. I hate dating, it’s so tedious,” Felicity whined into the phone. “Why can’t Mr. Right just pop up and say ‘hey here I am!’. I don’t want to go on a blind date Laurel!”

“It’ll be fun, this doesn’t have to be Mr. Right, it’s just supposed to be a fun night out! You gotta have some fun before you meet Mr. Right. Please give this a try?” Laurel argued her case over the phone. Pulling out her lawyering skills, Felicity wrinkled her nose and looked at her phone.

She made a face then pulled the phone back to her ear with a resigned sigh. “Fine, who is he?”

“Yay!!” Laurel squealed in excitement. “It’s Tommy’s best friend Ollie Queen. Tommy says he’s a lot of fun. I haven’t gotten to meet him too many times yet. But oh man, is he ever cute! If I wasn’t totally in love with Tommy...”

“Wait,” Felicity cut off Laurel mid-gush over this said friend. “Is this the best friend that couldn’t even make it to your engagement party?!” Felicity asked warily, already dreading this blind date if she was right about who Laurel had set her up with. She’d heard about this Ollie. He’d gotten sidetracked on the way to the party, another guest had found him and a woman accidentally in a coat closet, half undressed.

“Yes, but-”

“Laurel!”

“But Felicity, this isn’t meant to be a perfect date kind of thing! It’s just a go and have fun kind of thing! You deserve to let loose a little bit!” Laurel stated firmly. “Just a date.”

Felicity groaned and fell back on her couch. “Fine. Fine! When?”

“Tomorrow at seven, he’ll be there to pick you up!”

“Okay. Laurel, if this is a disaster I hold you responsible,” Felicity picked up the glass of wine and downed its contents before standing up to head into the kitchen.

“Understood! I love you Felicity, I just want you to be happy, you need to get out of this slump. Maybe Ollie can help!” Laurel said excitedly and Felicity rolled her eyes, pulling the bottle of wine off the counter. “It’ll be fun! Call me afterward!”

“I love you too Laurel. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Felicity decided against pouring another glass, she opted for just taking the bottle with her toward her bathroom. The bottle wasn’t going to drink itself and her bath tub needed a visit. If she was going to go on a date she should probably shave her legs.

 

\--F--

 

The next day once she’d woken from her wine induced hangover she combed through her closet. What does one wear on a date with a cute best friend of the fiance of her own best friend? Felicity thought to herself. A nice pile of dresses and pant suits had accumulated on her bed and bedroom floor before she decided to include Laurel in on the decision.

Finally, two hours before the date they’d decided on a simple black dress with a low back but a high front that stopped just inches from her knees. Simple, elegant and flirty, Laurel’s words. She sat in the tub again soaking away the tension that had built up over picking out a dress for the date. A half hour before he was due, she slipped into a pair of silver heels and waited.

At seven thirty she messaged Laurel to ask if she was sure about the date and time. Laurel messaged her back that Ollie was on his way, he’d had a meeting run late at work. Felicity rolled her eyes and thought about opening a bottle of wine. Grabbing her tablet she started doing a little googling on Ollie Queen, or as she had uncovered, the one and only Oliver Queen. The only son of Robert and Moira Queen of Queen Consolidated. She really doubted he was at work on a Saturday. She opened that bottle of wine.

By eight o’clock she had finished one and a half glasses and had kicked off her heels, sure that he was not coming. After all the information she had been able to dig up on him she was somewhat relieved. She was annoyed about the no show for sure but not completely disappointed. She wasn’t going to have to go on a blind date after all, and that was better than a bad blind date.

At eight thirty she’d decided to finally message Laurel about her failed attempt at a setup when there was a knock at the door. Well okay then! She stepped back into her heels and called out, “Be there in just a second!”

“Okay,” was called back to her through the door.

Felicity smoothed her dress then quickly unlocked the door and pulled it open. A cursory glance at him made her blood start to heat. Laurel had said he was cute. This man before her wasn’t just cute. He was hot. Not even the pictures online had been able to do Oliver Queen justice.

Oliver was ridiculously tall, her eyes having to travel high to look at his face. There was a generous amount of stubble on his strong jaw, blue eyes widened as he took her in as well. She let her own eyes move down over his baseball tee, a small frown slipped onto her lips. The whole ensemble was finished off with jeans and a pair of beaten up sneakers. She would have loved to admire the way his clothes hung on his body except that she was dressed a lot fancier than he was. In his hand he held a bouquet of purple tulips that looked all too familiar.

Annoyance finally settled into her veins and she felt a scowl fall into place on her face.

“Are those from my garden?” she asked snappily.

He turned them and looked at them before sliding his eyes back to hers, a smirk on his lips. “If yours is the one out front then, maybe.”

“So you just pick random flowers…” Felicity crossed her arms in front of her and leveled him with a questioning scowl.

“Well I felt kind of bad that I’m over an hour late and didn’t want to show up empty-handed,” he held them out toward her. “Since they’re yours already…. maybe you’d like to put them in some water?”

Felicity took them from him and shook her head. It was hard to be too annoyed since it should always be the thought that counts, as her mother had taught her. So she let it slide just slightly. She set them on the table just inside her door. “Later maybe. Are you even dressed for our date?”

“Well Tommy said that it was just supposed to be a fun casual date,” he eyed her again and sighed. “But obviously you didn’t get the memo.”

She grinned not kindly, what a great way to kick off their date. She reached into the small bowl on the table, grabbing a hair tie and pulled her hair into a ponytail. “Well, I’m not going to change. I’m hungry. So let’s just go and get this over with Oliver.”

“Actually you can just call me Ollie,” he said as he watched her pull her door closed, locking it. There was no way she was going to call him Ollie. Felicity tucked her clutch under her arm and eyed him. “You’re Felicity right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh good, I wasn’t totally sure about the address-”

“You mean you were just going to take some random person out?”

“It’s not like I haven’t done it before,” Ollie said with a chuckle as he leads her out toward the curb. Felicity was sure that this was going to be the worst decision of her life.

“Lovely,” she stated as she stopped, looking at the motorcycle in front of her. She looked worriedly at all the familiar cars on the street. That couldn’t be his? “Did you drive?”

“Yeah, of course,” her fears were confirmed as he slung his leg over the body and held a helmet out toward her.

“You’re kidding right?” she started shaking her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh come on, motorcycles are fun!”

“No way mister, I’m not getting on that. I’m not even dressed for that!” She motioned toward her dress.

“Sure you are, just hike up the skirt and straddle behind my back.”

Felicity felt herself flush at the way he’d just let the words tumble from his mouth. She felt breathless as she backed up a step. “No way am I… no I couldn’t possib- No!” She finished firmly and opened her clutch. “We’ll just take my car.”

She started across her lawn toward her driveway and he hopped off his bike to follow her. The lights flashed and the horn beeped as she unlocked her beloved little red Mini Cooper. She started to pull open the door when she heard him start laughing.

“What?” she snapped angrily. This whole evening was turning into something from the Twilight Zone and she was too hungry to be nice anymore.

“I won’t fit in that thing! Come on, I’ll just take you on my-”

“We will take my car, get in!” Felicity let her loud voice make an appearance.

Oliver looked to think about it for a moment, then smartly opted for rounding the car and slipping into the passenger side. She slid into her own seat and pulled her buckle on. Oliver made a huge production of sliding the seat back, trying to recline the seat, reaching for the safety belt. He grumbled the whole time.

Finally, as the belt clicked into place and she moved to start the car a vibrating sound cut through the quiet. “Oh crud, I have to get this!” Oliver stated, fishing awkwardly into his back pocket.

“Oh hey ba-” Felicity looked at him incredulously, was he going to say baby? “Barb, no I’m actually in the middle of something.” His eyes locked on hers and she swore she could see the sweat start to bead on his forehead before he looked away. “Sure later, I’m not exactly sure how…. okay yeah I’ll call you. Yup, buh bye.”

Felicity had stopped staring at him half way through the conversation. This was supposed to be just a nice simple fun date, to get her back out there. If this was what she had to look forward to then she didn’t want any part of it. Sure Oliver Queen was gorgeous, and she was woman enough to know that he could possibly be really fun in bed but that wasn’t something she wanted. It most definitely didn’t gloss over how tactless he was.

“Sorry about that, we can go now. Unless you’d rather take my bike because this is really cramped.”

“Did you seriously just take a call from another hookup?”

“I uh…”

“Nevermind,” Felicity unbuckled and exited her car. She’d order in Chinese from her favorite place. It wasn’t too late for that. She didn’t even wait for his door to shut before she was walking back up her lawn toward her townhome. She clicked the button to lock her car once she heard him close it.

“Wait where are you going?” Oliver jogged to catch up to her.

“I’m going inside. This is ridiculous!” She said shaking her head. What was Laurel thinking?

“I thought we were going to go eat-”

Felicity spun around and glared at him. “You can go do whatever the hell it is you want to do. I’m not now nor ever will I go get food with you! I don’t know what our best friends thought! We couldn’t be more different and oh so wrong. We couldn’t even make it out of my driveway without me wanting to smack you, why don’t you just go hook up with whoever you were just on the phone with? I’m sure she’s just dying to get to you a little sooner!”

“Wow,” Oliver said and shook his head. “Who knew that Tommy and Laurel could be friends with such a tight ass.”

Felicity spun at that and started up her stairs. She unlocked her door with unshed tears prickling her eyes.

“Hey, shit. I’m sorry!” Oliver said as he started onto her porch.

“Just go, Oliver! It’ll be better to not do this,” Felicity said pushing the door shut behind her. Moments later she heard the muffled sound of his motorcycle starting up.

She kicked her heels off angrily and searched for her phone. Choosing Laurel’s number she waited for the line to ring through, finally switching over to Laurel’s voice mail.

_“Hey you’ve reached Laurel, I’m away from my phone or busy with work. Leave me a message I’ll call ya back!”_

“Laurel, if I never have to see Oliver Queen again it’ll be too soon! You owe me!” Felicity hung up the phone, tossing it somewhere near her couch before marching into her bedroom. She could live the rest of her life and never see that man again. Pretty or not he was an ass and she didn’t have time for that.

 


	2. Oliver

Oliver woke slowly, blinking his eyes as he lifted his head off the pillow. A warm soft body was pressed tightly to his side, jet black hair met his eyes as he turned to his right. He dug through the haze of the night before for a name. Was she Jane or Janet? Or was it Janette? He couldn’t remember, again. Maybe he should start taking some of that gingko bo-whatever stuff his sister kept telling him about.

A buzzing drew his eyes towards his left. His phone was lit up and vibrated across the surface of the nightstand. He reached out for it just as it stopped buzzing. He carefully shifted out from under the woman beside him. She sighed, burying her face into the pillow he had just moved from, then stilled.

Oliver slipped from the bed and opened the voicemail.

_“Damn it, Ollie! Can you not pull your shit together for five minutes and show up on time to anything?! You’re thirty minutes late to these dance lessons that Laurel scheduled. We have one month until the wedding and all you keep doing is flaking on me! You’re making me regret asking you to be my best man.”_

Oliver winced at the anger in his best friend’s voice, he’d never heard Tommy so pissed. Time to go. He scanned the room around him in search of his pants. He looked at his watch and groaned. _How had he slept until one in the afternoon?_ He pulled his jeans from the floor by a dresser, hopping as he pulled them on, he buttoned the button fly he searched around the room looking for his shirt. He spied it on the end of the bed. Half of it disappeared under the woman’s leg. _That could be a problem._ He pulled it out slowly hoping that she wouldn’t wake up. He sucked in a relieved breath as it finally pulled free, and slipped it over his head.

He knew he needed to stop flaking on Tommy. Oliver loved his best friend and enjoyed spending time with him more than anything else in the world. _Well_ , he looked at the sleeping woman in the bed, _almost anything else._  It helped that Laurel was a wonderful addition, Tommy’s fiance was just as brilliant a lawyer as Tommy was. They were great together, the best couple he had ever seen in action. Something he one day hoped to have.

But any time they had wedding stuff that included him he knew that it would include her maid of honor. Especially now that the wedding was just around the corner. He couldn’t stand Laurel’s best friend. The one and only Felicity Smoak, the She-witch. The two of them were like gasoline and fire.

Oliver snuck out of the room, feeling his pockets for his keys and wallet. Content with finding them where they belonged, glad he wouldn’t have to search for those. He made his way through the foreign apartment, snagged his baseball cap from the couch. He pulled it on backward as he toed into his sneakers.

Once outside on the street, he called Tommy back. It rang twice before his friend answered. 

_“You better be calling me because you’re lost!”_

“Tommy, bro, I’m sorry. I’m on my way I swear. It shouldn’t take me too long to get there.”

_“Laurel is going to kill you. I should kill you. You-”_

“I know I fucked up. Is the she-witch there?” Oliver swung his leg over his motorcycle and pulled his keys from his pocket, linking his Bluetooth as he stowed his hat in his back pocket and pulled his helmet onto his head.

 _“Of course she’s here, waiting again! You have got to stop calling her that too. You slipped up last time in front of Laurel. You’re lucky I didn’t let her skin you alive for that. Felicity is a wonderful person, I wish the two of you could just get along, or at least pretend that you didn’t want to fillet each other every time you’re in the same room. Anyways, I’ll see you when you finally get your sad ass here. Just hurry up,”_ Tommy admonished him over the phone as he hung up.

Oliver rolled his eyes and started his motorcycle and started on his way. Of course, Tommy thought Felicity was wonderful. He was almost obligated to believe that because she was Laurel’s best friend. Felicity was gorgeous, smart, sometimes funny but it did nothing to override the fact that she was so closed off and uptight. He never saw her in anything other than office attire, except for the day they had first met.

Tommy had told him all about Laurel’s beautiful single best friend. That she was smart, quick witted, kind but a workaholic. Tommy told him that he and Laurel wanted them to meet before the planning started getting too far underway for the wedding. They thought a fun night out would be a good way to pull Felicity away from whatever funk Laurel thought she was in, and give them a moment to meet and feel each other out. Oliver was always open to having a good time so he’d easily agreed.

Oliver hadn’t planned on his father pulling him into a Saturday afternoon business meeting. He would have turned it down if he wasn’t trying so hard to be considered for their new expansion to Central City and merger with Star Labs. Of course, the meeting just had to run later than even his father had anticipated. Then he had to run home and change for his date with Felicity. Once he was ready to go he couldn’t find the address Tommy had given him so he’d had to look her up in the phone book. Which ended up eating up more time and before he realized it he was over an hour late.

It made him nervous to be meeting the best friend of his best friend’s fiance. The trust the had in him felt like a lead weight by the time he’d arrived. Showing up late and empty handed felt wrong. So when he saw the purple flowers growing in the small garden he’d grabbed a few. _Who would miss a couple flowers?_

Oliver had been stunned when he saw her for the first time. Something made his stomach and chest tighten, he couldn’t look away from her. Tommy had been wrong about her being beautiful, she was gorgeous. Felicity’s blond hair fell in soft waves to her shoulders, blue eyes sparkled as they took him in. She wore a simple classic style black dress that hugged and showed off every curve of her petite body. Her silver heels did wonderful things to her legs even if they did very little to minimize their height difference. Then she had frowned at him and opened her mouth.

That had been the start and end of it.

Every time after that first meeting he’d found it easier and easier to get her riled up. Oliver willingly admitted that he got a thrill out of teasing her. She was easy to bait into an argument and would flush a beautiful shade of pink. He knew it was somewhat wrong but god she could be so damned uptight and bitchy.

Oliver stopped outside the small strip mall that housed the dance studio Laurel had booked lessons with. He reminded himself he was doing this for his friends. He didn’t need dancing lessons but Laurel and Felicity did.

Looking at the building he mentally prepared himself to go inside. He made a silent promise to himself to behave. No matter what she said he’d just smile and nod. Climbing off his bike he secured his helmet, pulled his cap back on and headed in. Let the fun begin.

—O—

“Do you think you have the gist of it?”

Oliver heard Laurel whisper to Felicity. Felicity chewed her bottom lip. Oliver looked away, back toward the dance floor. Two dancers were demonstrating a classic waltz.

“Laurel, I can’t dance. You’ve seen me walk across a room. I’m about as coordinated as a rhino tap dancing!”

“Don’t be ridiculous Felicity,” Laurel responded a chuckle sneaking in on the end. Oliver grinned.

“I mean it, I don’t think I’ll be able to do this. Can’t you have Queen dance with someone else?”

“No, you’re the maid of hon-”

“Ollie, whatever you’re thinking about please keep it to yourself,” Tommy whispered into his other ear, drawing his attention away from the hushed conversation between the girls.

“I wasn’t thinking of anything,” Oliver turned to look in his friend’s direction.

“You definitely have that look on your face,” Tommy stated with a smirk.

The dancers in the center of the room stopped dancing and everyone around the room clapped. Oliver wolf whistled as the couple took a bow. A glance to his left awarded him with the view of Felicity attacking her thumbnail.

“Thank you everyone, now we are going to break up into pairs. Please choose a partner and myself and Hildie will come around to help with form. Go on, pair up!” The instructor George instructed.

Tommy headed over, wrapping his arm around Laurel and drawing her out onto the dance floor to join the other already swaying couples. Oliver sighed out a low breath and shifted closer to Felicity. He let his eyes shift over her again. Her hair was pulled up into a half ponytail, the rest of her hair flowing freely down to between her shoulder blades. She had ditched her office wear for a pretty pink dress with a light and airy skirt that fell just above her knees. She wore a pair of purple heels of modest height.

Felicity appeared to be chewing off her blue nail polish. Oliver stepped closer to her until he could just barely feel her body heat against his arm. “Felicity?”

“Hm?” Her eyes never left the dance floor in front of her. “What?”

“Would you like to dance?” Oliver held his hand out in front of her.

Felicity stood still, her eyes shifting to his hand before then looking for his. He tried not to make a comment about her nervousness.

“I don’t want to, but this is Laurel’s wedding so I have to.”

“Well it’s not her wedding yet but soon it will be so you can either go out there knowing what you need to do or look like a rhino doing a tap dance,” Oliver answered smirking as her eyes went wide.

“Queen, please don’t turn this into some joke,” Felicity said as she closed her eyes.

Oliver slipped his hand to her lower back and pushed her gently toward the dance floor. Her body heat coming through the thin fabric to warm his palm. “I won’t. Look, the way I see it you could do this with another partner that is learning just like you, or you can dance with me, who has been trained, and save your toes,” he offered as she turned toward him.

“Okay fine, but keep your hands where they belong,” Felicity answered with a groan. “I hate dancing.”

“You only hate dancing because you don’t know how to,” Oliver pulled one of her small hands into his. It amazed him just how tiny she was. She barely came to his shoulder. He placed his other on her hip, she stopped him before he could slide his hand around to her lower back.

“Personal space,” she grumbled, a small crinkle made it’s way onto her forehead.

“Okay,” Oliver drawled out as he positioned her the way she needed to be for the waltz that they were doing.

On the second step, Felicity stepped on his toes. “Oh god, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, that is why we are practicing now, instead of at the reception,” Oliver shook his head.

Felicity was stiff, it was hard to get her to move with the music, she kept counting under her breath. He needed her to loosen up. Oliver slipped his hand toward the middle of her back and slowly pulled her closer to his own body. As he drew in the next breath he was given the lovely smell of warm vanilla and a rich clove. 

“Queen, personal space!” Felicity snapped trying to pull back.

“Smoak, trust me. I think you’ll be able to move easier if we get a bit closer. Then you can just follow the motions of my body,” Oliver stated, letting his eyes lock with hers.

Felicity gave a short hesitant nod and he pulled her tightly against him. It was hard to ignore the warmth that she gave off. Her silky hair tickled the back of his hand as they danced across the floor. They started to move, the moves easier for her to follow as they moved across the floor smoother than before. His toes had been stepped on at least three more times before he realized she was covered in a light sheen of sweat and her skin had flushed a delicate pink.

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked softly.

“Oh… um… yes, just… fine,” Felicity managed to slowly say, keeping her eyes staring over his shoulder.

“That’s good,” Oliver pushed her away into a twirl. Her eyes closing as she twirled out to the end of his arm, fingers holding tightly to his. His eyes were drawn to how high up her skirt moved as it fanned out around her legs. His mind wondering what he would find if he twirled her just a little harder, the long expanse of her legs on display. Before he could ponder about her legs anymore the skirt once again covered them. Her giggle filled the air around them.

Just as he pulled her back in toward him a tap on his shoulder made him startle. She slammed back into him hard and they both nearly tumbled to the floor. He caught her as she rocked back out away from him.

“Queen what are you trying to do to me!” Felicity snapped angrily.

“I’m sorry it was my fault, I was trying to cut in,” the tall man that had interrupted them said, cutting Oliver off before he could say anything. The man’s hand held out in between Oliver and Felicity as she stepped back, dropping Oliver’s hand. He ignored the feeling of loss.

“Who are you?” Felicity asked smiling up at the man, tugging her loose hair behind her ears.

“I’m Ray,” he held his hand out to her and she shook it. “I was wondering if I could have a dance?”

Felicity’s eyes shifted between him and the newcomer and Oliver rolled his eyes. “She’d love too. Just watch your toes, she likes to pretend they’re hers.”

“Oliver Queen!” Felicity glared at him as Ray reached for her hand.

“Don’t worry, we can step on each other toes,” Ray said with a smile as he pulled Felicity into an awkward loose embrace. Their position wrong.

Oliver took that as his cue to leave, stepping back until he found Tommy at the side of the room. Laurel sat with a bottle of water on a red bench at the side of the room. She looked up at him and smiled.

“The two of you looked lovely out there together, even if you were dressed like a hobo,” Laurel observed with a wink. She’d ribbed him earlier on coming in jeans and a t-shirt. 

“This is just how I dress on my weekends. Don’t worry I’ll have a tux for the wedding,” Oliver answered. “Do you need me anymore?”

“No, I think we’re good. Thanks for dancing with her, I’m looking forward to seeing you both made up together at our wedding.”

“I’ll do only one dance, Laurel, I said that before.” There was no way he was going to stay there the whole night and dance with a woman who could barely stand to be in his presence. He got the feeling Laurel was still hoping that he and Felicity would get together. That was a lost cause. “Could you stop trying to put us together?”

“I’m not-” Tommy cleared his throat and Laurel glared at him. “I am really, truly not trying to put the two of you together, I just want you to get along. Especially during the wedding.”

“Yeah no problem, I was on my best behavior today,” he said wanting his attempt praised.

“You did, thank you,” Laurel’s eyes shifted back to the dance floor, where only Ray and Felicity were now dancing, or trying to dance.

Laughter could be heard flowing across the room to them. Oliver watched the way that Felicity lit up as Ray dipped her playfully since he couldn’t spin her. He would be lying if he said that it aggravated him that he couldn’t get that reaction out of her.

“I’m going to go,” he reached out and hugged Laurel as she stood.

“Okay, sounds good, thanks, Ollie,” Laurel said as she pulled back.

Oliver was in such a hurry to leave that he missed the soft glance that was exchanged between Tommy and Laurel. He left with the sound of loud giggles from Felicity as she apologized to Ray for stepping on his toes.


	3. Felicity

Felicity rushed through the hotel lobby balancing a tray of coffees in one hand, her purse and garment bag slung over her arm. A gift in the other arm and a brown bag with two of Laurel's favorite muffins clenched between her teeth. She was making a beeline for the elevators.

She was running a few minutes late, pictures were going to start soon. It wasn’t her fault though, Laurel had called her in tears that Sara had forgotten her food bag at home. She’d been there stuck getting her hair done for over an hour and hadn’t had breakfast. Felicity swung by her favorite bakery to pick her up a snack. It took longer than expected but she hoped the muffins would gain her brownie points.

The elevator she was heading for opened and began to close again as she approached, she tried to get there faster but she almost dropped the coffees.

“Hold the elevator!” A voice called from behind her.

Felicity closed her eyes and breathed out a small breath to steady her jumbled nerves. Oliver came into view as he stepped past her. He took one look at her and shook his head, smiling as he reached out to take the coffees and the bag from her teeth.

“Here Smoak, let me help you,” he smiled and she followed him onto the elevator.

“Thank you,” she said and both Oliver and the woman who had held the elevator talked at the same time.

“You’re welcome,”  they said in unison and everyone chuckled. The woman exited on the next floor leaving them alone in the elevator.

“Why aren’t you already with the bride?” Oliver asked as Felicity studiously tried to ignore how nice he looked in suspenders and a deep red bow tie. She may not like him very much but she was female, and he was so easy to look at.

“Um, well I would have been there already but I had to run an errand for her,” Felicity answered looking forward, silently counting the floors as they passed.

Felicity didn’t know what Oliver was playing at and that made her nervous around him. Ever since the dance lessons he’d been kinder to her, yeah that was what she would call it. He had stopped instigating fights and at the rehearsal the night before he’d actually smiled genuinely at one of her rambles. Then helping her with the elevator. She didn’t understand it.

“Why are you late? They were supposed to start with pictures of Tommy and his groomsmen, I would assume that would include you the best man,” she said, wondering why he was late too. She was secretly grateful, his running late allowed him to be right where she needed him at the moment.

The elevator came to a stop on their floor and they stepped out together, Oliver holding the doors for her. They made their way slowly down the hall, Felicity looking for Laurel's room 522, where Laurel had spent the night and they were doing all their prep. When he hadn’t answered she turned to look at him and he was blushing.

“I’m late because I forgot the rings at home,” Oliver said sheepishly and shrugged. “So I had to run back and grab them. Whatever you do, do not mention it to Laurel. Tommy made me swear to take it to my grave, she’s been somewhat of a mess this last week.”

“I know, I’m her best friend, we've been together or on the phone almost nonstop. She’ll be okay and I won’t mention it to her. You have them now right?” she asked as she came to a stop outside of the room. She could hear the muffled talking from the other side.

“Yeah I have them. Is this you?” he nodded toward the door.

“Yep, here I’ll knock and get someone to help,” she turned and knocked.

Sara came to the door, and squealed in excitement. “Licity to the rescue!! Hey sis Felicity is here!” she yelled over her shoulder into the room before turning back to face them. “Man we need your help, maybe you can keep her from clawing her skin off.”

Felicity rolled her eyes at Sara’s adopted pet name for her, as she handed the gift she was holding to Sara. Sara didn’t take it, of course her eyes were glued beyond her to Oliver in the hall. She had watched Laurel’s sister moon over Oliver at the rehearsal and all through dinner. Silly girl.

“Hey Ollie,” Sara gushed, her skin turning a light shade of pink, she twirled a lock of hair around her finger. A glance at Oliver behind her had her rolling her eyes, he had a sexy smirk on his face and winked at Sara. Felicity groaned and set the gift on the floor and pushed it into the room with her foot.

“Felicity, oh my god I’m so glad you- OLLIE!! What on Earth are you doing here!!” Laurel had approached the door and as soon as she spied Oliver, Felicity could see panic set in. She immediately looked past both Sara and Felicity to spy down the hall. “You’re not supposed to be here!!”

Felicity smirked at him when he cleared his throat and chuckled nervously. The coffee tray and bag of muffins thrust instantly toward Laurel. Sara giggled and Laurel pushed her sister back into the room and out of view.

“I ran into Felicity downstairs and thought I should help her. Her hands were full of all that stuff,” he offered rubbing the back of his neck as Laurel took the items from him.

“Well thanks, but you need to get out of here now. They just called saying they were starting pictures, so go!” Laurel turned and handed the coffee and muffins to Sara and turned to grab Felicity’s arm. “I said go!”

Felicity nearly tripped over the gift she’d set on the floor earlier as Laurel dragged her into the room. The door slammed behind them, leaving a shell shocked Oliver on the other side. Felicity gently pulled her arm free of Laurel’s grasp and gave her a hug.

“Oh god Felicity I’m so nervous! I’m sweating like a sinner in church! I’m so afraid to put on my dress,” Laurel whispered in a rush before Felicity released her. “What if I ruin it?”

“You won’t. It’ll be okay, let me dress while you sit and have a muffin and chill. Then we’ll get you into your dress. I take it Sara hasn’t been too helpful?” Felicity stepped behind one of the dressing screens. She pulled off her jacket and unbuttoned the dress she was wearing.

“No, she hasn’t. She is fun and all but not very responsible. Oh to be 22 again ya know?” Laurel said from the other side. Felicity smiled when she heard the paper bag rustle then her best friend moan softly. “Felicity you’re the best!”

“Only the best for you, especially on your wedding day. For the record, I’d never want to be 22 again!” She stated back and unzipped her garment bag, pulling out the dress her and Laurel had picked out.

The strapless dress was deep red, tea length with a cream colored sash which designated her the maid of honor, the two other bridesmaids wore the same red with red sashes. Felicity zipped up the side zipper as she stepped back into her red heels. One last look in the mirror she tucked a curl back into the loose styled bun and nodded at her reflection. It would have to do.

“You look fantastic Felicity,” Laurel said around the bite of muffin in her mouth. Felicity couldn’t help but smile back.

“Not as fantastic as you’re going to look in your wedding gown,” Felicity answered in return, grabbing a cup of coffee and sipping from it. “Sara, will you help get Laurel’s gown?”

She turned to her friend as Laurel finished the last bite of her muffin. “You ready to do this?”

“Sure am!” Laurel answered with a wide grin, her brunette curls bouncing as she stood up.

Ten minutes later after a lot of help from Sara and Laurel’s friend Jo, Laurel finally stood looking in the mirror. Her veil held perfectly in her curls with pearl combs, and every button on the back of the dress buttoned. The dress was a gorgeous cream lace that started at the strapless bodice and cascaded down over a satin skirt, it fanned out onto the floor with a small train behind. Little bead pearls caught the light without sending off too much of a sparkle.

“Tommy is gonna have his work cut out for him,” Sara voiced as she shook her head, smiling lovingly at her sister. Felicity grinned, she’d had the same thought when Laurel had picked it out. “All those buttons, and the lace layers!”

“She has a second simpler dress for the reception and their flight, much smaller and less buttons. This one is for the ceremony and for pictures. You look breathtaking Laurel! Tommy is going to love it,” Felicity said as she played with the lace on the end of Laurel’s veil before letting it go.

The thought that this could have been her flittered through her mind. Damn Cooper! Tears prickled, unwanted, at the corner of Felicity’s eyes. She quickly swiped them away but not before Laurel saw them. The soft sad smile Laurel gave her made Felicity feel bad. Laurel should only smile huge happy smiles today. After all it was her day.

“You okay?” Laurel asked and Felicity laughed.

“Of course, my best friend in the whole world is marrying the love of her life! I’m so ecstatic for you Laurel!” She bit her lip to keep it from trembling. She hated how she couldn’t seem to let go of the past. It had been seven long months since he’d broken things off.

“Oh sweetie,” Laurel pulled Felicity into a hug and she couldn’t help the small sob that tore at her throat. “You’ll meet someone, and then I’ll be helping you get all dolled up and ready for him. You’ll see! Hey maybe you already have?”

Felicity groaned and pulled away shaking her head. “I haven’t.”

“Well Ollie’s been really sweet to you lately, maybe thing-”

“Oh jeez! No way Laurel. I mean yes he’s been really nice lately but we are just too different,” Felicity cut off her friend. That ship had sailed long before she could even get near the dock, and she was glad. She didn’t want to think about what could have happened if something had happened between her and Oliver, then went south before the wedding. That failed first date seemed like a blessing now. They were the worst combination ever. They barely got along enough to be in the same room. “I’m actually glad I’m alone right now. I’ve been able to focus on helping you. Once this is all over today I can maybe focus on me, and I won’t have to see Queen again for a while.”

“Well just until Thanksgiving dinner at our house,” Laurel supplied with a grin.

“I think I can handle that,” Felicity said relieved.

“Ladies, the photographer is ready! We need to head downstairs,” Jo called from across the room as she lowered her phone away from her ear.

“Let’s do this!” Laurel said with a small fist bump. Felicity laughed as she looped her arm with Laurel’s.

“Yes, lets this!”

\--F--

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. They’d exchanged the classic vows, wanting to keep to tradition. Tommy had tearfully leaned in and kissed Laurel when he was instructed. The moment finally causing what small hold Felicity had on her own tears to slip, happy tears tipped over to fall freely. When the priest announced them as Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Merlyn, Felicity was sure there was never a more perfect couple.

The picture session afterward took longer than anticipated and they had to rush through changing Laurel out of her gown, then headed directly to the reception hall. It left Felicity no time to change. She was amounting quite the list of 'do’s and dont's' for her own theoretical future wedding.

The reception kicked off nicely with an early dinner and the champagne started flowing. The hall was filled with conversation as everyone ate and shared stories of the bride and groom. Felicity was glad that she wasn't sitting next to Oliver. From where she sat it appeared he was in a contest all of his own on who could drink the most champagne.

All too soon it was time for the speeches.

Oliver delivered his with every bit as much confidence as Felicity knew he would, even though he was clearly drunk. The crowd laughing and cheering him on as he shared hilarious tales from his and Tommy's childhood. Finishing with a hope that he too could find someone as wonderful as Laurel. Butterflies filled her stomach when his eyes locked on hers, only breaking away when the MC took the microphone away from him. Felicity shook her head, obviously she needed to lay off the champagne.

Then it was her turn.

Felicity stood teary eyed on the stage, the microphone bobbing nervously in her hand. Laurel and Tommy both beamed at her, their hands linked on top of the table. Laurel gave her a little nod and a thumbs up with her free hand.

"I met Laurel when we were just five years old. I was running from another kid and bumped into her, knocking her over and making her cry. After she kicked the other kid, and all our tears subsided we became fast friends, and we’ve been inseparable since,” Felicity sighed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before continuing. “Laurel has always been the voice of reason in my life, helping me make mostly right decisions and teaching me the need for good plans. She's helped lift me up so many times when I didn't think I could do it on my own. If it weren't for her I'd probably live in my server room at work and only leave for trips to the bathroom.” Everyone laughed and Felicity smiled, Laurel blew her a kiss. “Anyway, I'm so happy that you've found someone, Laurel. Someone who can help and care for you every bit as much as you've done for me. I love you guys and pray that your marriage is a long and happy one!"

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses, calling for the happy couple to kiss and they did. Of course to another joyous round of applause. Felicity made it back to her seat as Jo took the stand to give her speech. Laurel leaned her head on Felicity's shoulder and whispered, "You’re the best Felicity, I love you too."

Soon the bride and groom shared their first dance together, and Oliver met her at the side of the dance floor. They waited for their turn to join the happy couple on the dance floor. Felicity tried to keep their bodies at a safe distance apart, but her tired feet and the three glasses of champagne she’d had to boost her confidence made her light headed. It was easy to allow Oliver to pull her close and guide her across the floor. His arm warm and secure around her helped calm her nerves and she sighed, his fingers tightening around her hand as his eyes sought out hers.

“You look beautiful Felicity,” Oliver complimented her with a soft smile. He caught her off guard. Not once since she's known him had he complimented her. She felt herself blush without permission, the alcohol softening her. Stupid champagne!

“Uh thank you, Queen, you clean up pretty nice yourself,” she offered back. There wasn’t a women in this room, besides maybe Laurel, who wasn’t drooling over Oliver in his tux. She’d seen all the stares, seen all the winks. It was hard to miss the way the female population fell over him. If she didn't know how much of a pain he could be she'd probably join them. The truth was he looked really good.

“You gave a good speech,” she said looking over to wear Tommy and Laurel swayed, he whispered something and she giggled as he twirled her. “I can honestly say it wasn’t quite what I expected. I thought you’d be snide and turn it into a joke.”

“I can be more than just a jokester Felicity,” Oliver stated softly before he turned his eyes in their direction. “I’m glad they found each other.”

“Me too,” she agreed.

Oliver squeezed her hand and her stomach swooped as he pushed her out into a twirl, pulling her back in, she teetered and fell against him on the return. His broad chest firm under her hand, she could feel the rapid beating of his heart where her heart rested. Warmth spread through her body as her own heart raced. A nervous laugh left her as she pulled back, and she smiled back at him, his own smile making his eyes sparkle. It was hard to remember that first date disaster when he was being this way, so playful and sweet. For the first time she could see the person Tommy and Laurel tried to tell her existed. She could like this person.

“Thank you, Oliver,” she said softly, realizing she could at least try to be friends with him. They had a lot of years together ahead of them since their best friends were married to each other.

“For what?” he asked sounding confused, as he moved them slowly around the floor.

“Being kind to me this last month or so. It’s been nice not fighting with you,” she sighed, watching as he closed his eyes a moment and she bit her lip when he opened them back up to lock on hers.

“It’s easy when you’re being agreeable too,” he said back with a grin.

“It’ll be nice to not have to put on a front anymore,” she said on a laugh, and he frowned. “I mean after this we won’t have to see each other til Thanksgiving, won’t that be wonderful.”

“Feli-”

“Ollie, come dance with me!!” Sara squealed and tugged on his arm. He turned a frowning look in her direction and shook his head.

“Sara, now’s not a-,” Oliver started and Felicity tapped his chest, stepping out of his embrace.

“Hey, go have some fun, you’ve earned it. I know Laurel made you promise one dance and it was fun, truly. Thanks,” she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw and stepped away from him.

Sara was nearly jumping for joy as Felicity walked away. Felicity shook her head and chuckled, that girl was trouble. She was glad for the cut in though she needed a break. There was a bathroom somewhere calling her name.

\--F--

Felicity was exhausted but excited. After finally finding the bathroom she’d gotten pulled into a conversation with a couple of the executives from Queen Consolidated. They were discussing all the ins and outs of their upcoming merger with Star Labs but of possibly opening their own Applied Sciences division in Starling City. She was still just a small growing business, so Felicity hadn’t realized her name was being thrown around as someone they may like to hire to build their infrastructure. Knowing that they knew of her gave her a blissful high like none other. Mr. Hobbs took down her number and told her to expect his call.

She wandered back toward the main ballroom, her heart feeling light. She went in search of Laurel to share her news, when she overheard laughs coming from an alcove just ahead. Oliver’s was easily recognizable and she thought maybe Tommy would be with him and possibly Laurel. She headed in that direction.

“That little blonde that gave the speech, man, she is hot.”

"I know, killer legs and those blue eyes! Did you know she's here alone!"

"How is that even possible?" one man’s voice asked full of disbelief as she stopped. She realized they were talking about her, she listened with increased interest. "I may try to get her number."

“I would save yourself the embarrassment.” That was Oliver. “She’s a frost queen,” his voice rang with disinterest. Felicity felt her heart sink.

“Wow that’s harsh dude,” one guy said with an awkward chuckle. "That can't be true."

“Oh it is. I’ve never met a woman so closed off,” again Oliver’s voice. Felicity sucked in a slow burning breath, her eyes prickled painfully.

“Wait, you dated her?” Felicity pressed herself up against the wall, her legs feeling weak.

“No, well I tried once. She’s so uptight, she yelled at me because I picked flowers from her garden. What woman gets pissed off about flowers?” He asked, his voice laced with annoyance. A couple of the guys laughed and made comments about women being so confusing.

“Anyways, don’t waste your- Felicity?”

Her head snapped up, her eyes meeting his as he stopped mid stride in front of her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and remembered all too freshly that first failed date. Him being an hour and a half late, putting no effort into his dress, him taking a call from another woman he planned to hook up with later. None of that was her fault, and he’d conveniently left all of that out, painting her as an ice queen. She leveled him with a glare. The shocked expression on his face slipped, replaced with remorse.

Felicity stood upright, and turned away heading back the opposite direction. She was hell bent on finding Laurel so she could say goodbye. She knew if she stayed any longer she would explode.

“Felicity wait,” Oliver called from behind her. She ignored him, quickened her pace to get away. “Hey, come on wait! Felicity!”

“What?!” She spun on him, holding her hand out to stop him. “Why? What could you possibly need to say after that?”

He stopped, his mouth opened as if he was going to say more, his eyes searching her face. He groaned and wiped a hand over his face. Obviously he didn’t know what to say. There was no apology that would be enough to fix what she’d heard. Felicity knew all she needed to.

“You know what, I had thought that maybe there was a decent bone in your body, that you had given me a glimpse at this kind person that Tommy said you were. But you’re not, you're worse.”

“Felicity, please-” he pleaded, stepping toward her. The men he’d been talking to watching their exchange. None of them laughing now. "It's not what... I mean I didn't-"

“Stuff it Ollie!" He stepped back as if she slapped him. "I’m a frost queen or haven’t you heard?”

Felicity didn’t wait for a response, none of it mattered. She wasn't going to care about what he thought of her. She marched back out onto the crowded dance floor to find Laurel. She spied her at the head table talking with Jo and leaning close to Tommy. Felicity quickly ducked between swaying couples to get to them. She wiped the one tear that escaped and forced a smile as she approached Laurel and Tommy.

“Hey Laurel, Tommy, I just wanted to wish you a happy honeymoon before I left,” she hugged Laurel when she stood. Tommy looked worriedly between her and some point behind her.

“I didn’t think you were going to leave until we did,” Laurel said as she examined Felicity’s face. "I haven't even thrown the bouquet yet."

“It’s been a long week, I’m so tired. You know I just took on that new company and I’m still coding the back end of that program they need. I need to go back and pick up my things from your hotel room and I just-”

“Did Ollie do something?” Tommy cut in, his eyes hard on hers.

“Oh god no… this has nothing at all to do with Qu-Oliver… nothing at all. I’m tired and the champagne is getting to me. Honest,” she half lied quickly, pulling Tommy into a hug. She stepped back and sniffled. She hoped they would just think she was being emotional over them. “I love you guys please don’t call me until you are back okay? Enjoy your time together!!”

Laurel hugged her once more and Felicity pulled away before the tears she felt mounting could fall and forced a smile. Laurel’s eyes narrowed but Felicity shook her head, eyes pleading. Laurel knew her too well, knew when Felicity was barely holding it together. She saw the moment Laurel decided to let it go, and breathed a short relieved breath.

“See you when we get back,” Laurel said as Tommy wrapped his arm around her.

“Yep, definitely!” Felicity turned and avoided the heated look she had from Oliver. She ducked around him and left. She wasn't going to give any more thought to him.

Felicity didn’t breathe easily until she was in one of the town cars and on her way back to the hotel. What a mess! But it was over now and she could go back to her regularly scheduled life. One that didn't involve Oliver Queen.


	4. Oliver

Oliver knocked on his sister’s open bedroom door. “Thea?”

“Be right there,” she responded, her voice muffled from deep inside her walk in closet. Oliver walked in as Thea stepped back into her room, several garments in hand. “Hey, what’s up big brother?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to tag along with me to Tommy and Laurel’s thanksgiving thing?”

“I thought Helena was going with you,” Thea replied walking over to her bed, to lay what she was holding down.

“She... had something else to do,” Oliver hesitated, he hated lying to his sister. But it was still too fresh to discuss the things that went wrong with him and Helena. “Besides, I’d rather go with you.”

“How are you even invited to their get together? I thought you’d been 86’d from their friendly gatherings because of you know… that wedding thing that happened with Laurel’s best friend? What’s her name again?” Thea cocked an eyebrow at him as she leveled him with a look.

“Felicity, and I’m not 86’d,” Oliver he answered slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.

A month after Tommy and Laurel’s wedding they had finally caught wind of what went down with him and Felicity. Tommy had confronted him over beers one night, wanting to know what happened. Oliver made the excuse that he was drunk and couldn’t remember. But he remembered it all too clearly.

Oliver had been thrown off by the amount of disappointment he felt when Felicity had sounded so excited about not having to see him anymore. Did she dislike him that much? He had really tried, since their dance lessons, to be friendly and make a better impression. He even thought she was enjoying their dance. The quick kiss she’d pressed to his jaw in parting had burned against his skin as he told Sara he needed air. He suddenly didn’t have the desire to dance with Sara, or anyone else for that matter.

He wandered around in the halls outside the ballroom cooling off when he’d saw her talking with executives from QC. Oliver almost joined but something stopped him. He just watched her for a moment. It was like watching her with that guy at the dance studio all over again. She was animated and light, laughing freely at something that one of them said. The feeling that settled in his stomach had him choosing to walk away instead of interrupting.

He ran into a group of guys he and Tommy had known growing up. When they started talking about the women that were at the wedding it wasn’t long before one of them brought up Felicity. She was easily one of the more beautiful women there, and from the glimpse he’d had it went well beyond just the surface. It made him suddenly very angry that he knew without a doubt that if one of them had approached her she’d smile and be sweet and kind. The exact opposite of how she was with him. Something snapped inside him and the words were tumbling from him before he could take them back.

Regret didn’t quite cover how he felt when he turned to see her standing in the hall. Oliver would have that image forever seared in his mind. He had crossed a line. It showed in the way she closed up completely. Weeks of trying to get to know who she was, and show her the real him evaporated.

It had been a grade A fuck up too. Oliver was positive that it was his worst ever. Felicity had called him Ollie. As mad as he had made her before, not once had she called him by his nickname, choosing to just call him Queen which was annoying but tolerable. The way she had said his nickname, she had spat it at him like it was a profanity, Oliver would never forget the way it had sounded.

Laurel had tore into him the first time she saw him after they’d found out. Oliver had already felt horrible about what happened. But he didn’t know how to make it better either. Felicity didn’t travel in the same circles as him. He wasn’t even sure how to apologize for being an asshole.

And Oliver knew he was an asshole for sure. The whole experience had made him take a step back and look at his life. His personal life was a mess. The only things he ever showed commitment in was his friendship with Tommy, work, and having a fun time. He made the decision that it was time for him to change.

The first thing he did was stop partying every weekend. He gave up one night stands, choosing to put more effort into actually getting to know someone. Which lead him to Helena. Everything had been okay there until suddenly it wasn’t.

Oliver met his sister’s gaze and shrugged. “I mean yeah, Laurel was none too happy with me but I was never un-invited to their get togethers. I've been busy so I haven’t gone to any of them. Besides I’ve been dating-”

“Avoiding Felicity,” Thea interrupted, a playful smile on her lips.

“Helena. I’ve been dating Helena,” Oliver finished, shaking his head, getting perturbed with his sister. "We were always doing something else at the time."

“Right,” she smirked at him and put together two of the pieces on the bed, shaking her head before heading back into her closet.

“Anyways, did you want to go with me or not?”

“Sure,” she answered coming back out of the closet, carrying a different shirt with her. “I’ll go, I’ll do anything to get out of attending mom and dad’s business dinner. Anything is better than sitting through that, even playing buffer for you. You get to tell mom though.”

“Thanks Thea,” Oliver replied with a smile.

“Yeah yeah, go on and I’ll get ready, let me know when you’re leaving,” Thea said over her shoulder as she headed yet again into her closet.

Oliver headed downstairs to visit his mother, thankful that he wouldn’t have to go to the dinner alone. He wasn’t sure how much of a buffer Thea would be but at least he would have one more person there that liked him. Even if she was obligated too.

\--O--

Oliver handed Tommy a dish filled with green bean casserole that Raisa had made. For the first annual Merlyn Family Thanksgiving dinner and Laurel had decided on pot luck. She was making the turkey and assigned dishes to everyone else.  Oliver had been saddled with green bean casserole.

“Hey Tommy, Happy Thanksgiving!” Thea said as she squeezed past, handing Oliver her coat.

"You too, Thea," Tommy replied as she started down the main hall.

She called out for Laurel and Sara as she passed the stairs. “Back here in the kitchen!” Laurel called back.

"See ya guys," Thea said back over her shoulder in his and Tommy’s direction, before she turned the corner.

Tommy turned his attention to the dish in his hands, he lifted the lid and groaned appreciatively. "Raisa?"

"Of course, you know I don't cook," he answered as he hung up his sister's coat.

Tommy chuckled, "I know you don’t cook, but I know you can. We wouldn't have survived college if you hadn't been able too."

"But I don't have to so... I don't," he shrugged out of his own jacket and hung it beside Thea's. Oliver had his own apartment, but he managed to eat at the mansion most evenings. He liked to cook, he just chose not to. He followed Tommy further into the house.

"I thought you were bringing a date?" Tommy asked as he set the dish down on a charger in the dining room and grabbed Oliver a beer from a cooler on the floor.

"I did," Oliver answered simply, accepting the beer.

"Thea is not your date, she’s your sister," Tommy eyed him. Oliver rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "Where's Helena?"

"I don't know, doesn't matter," Oliver picked up the bottle opener and opened his beer. He dropped the cap in the collection bottle and took a sip.

Tommy studied him as they made their way to the game room. A football game was already underway on the big screen so Oliver made his way to one of the couches. A quick glance around the room allowed him to relax.

Felicity wasn’t there yet.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tommy finally asked. Oliver sighed and turned toward his friend.

“Nope,” Oliver answered and sank down onto the couch.

Tommy sat next to him, eyeing him and took a sip from his own beer. Oliver knew he wanted more details about why Helena all of a sudden wasn’t in the picture after two months. The last thing Oliver wanted to do today was discuss his failed relationship. So Oliver just sat and watched the game, ignoring the thoughtful gaze of his best friend.

The doorbell rang and Tommy moved to stand up. Before he could get fully upright, Laurel called out that she had it. Tommy relaxed back and looked in his direction.

“So how’s work going? You’ve been so busy with avoiding us that we haven’t had the chance to discuss what’s going on with the merger and expansion,” Tommy said, taking another sip from his own beer.

“I haven’t really been avoiding you. Work is busy but good, better than I expected actually. Dad wants me to head up the meeting next week in Central City, the building permits were all finally approved, so we’re going to be breaking ground. Building timeline has it being finished sometime in the next year or two, barring any issues of course,” Oliver took another sip from his beer, turning his attention to the tv and the game. It was about time he got a chance to show his father that he could handle the responsibility. Maybe even a chance to move and grow on his own.

"That's great! I know how much you wanted this," Tommy stated, genuinely happy for Oliver. “Another step in the right direction to becoming the eventual CEO of QC.”

Before Oliver could answer, Felicity’s voice called from behind them. “Hey, Tommy!”

Oliver stiffened, his heart racing unexpectedly. It wasn’t the first time Oliver had seen her since the wedding mishap, but it was the first time in a nonprofessional setting. His last encounter with Felicity had been unexpectedly, at a meeting between him, his father and Alan Hobbs regarding their Applied Sciences project, a month ago.

Felicity had been surprised at first to see him, she recovered quickly greeting him with polite professional courtesy. As soon as the greetings were over she closed up and ignored him unless she had to address him directly. He wasn’t sure what he had expected but cold indifference wasn’t it.

Despite their issues he had been impressed with how she’d directed the meeting. Oliver knew she was smart, but ten minutes into the meeting he realized he had grossly underestimated her. She was in another league altogether, one that did not include him. He hadn't been the only one impressed either. His father later that day had given Hobbs the go ahead to hire her.

Tommy stood up and made his way around the end of the couch. Oliver stood slowly and turned. He was struck once again by how beautiful she was. She hadn’t seen him yet so a bright smile still graced her face and her blue eyes sparkled as Tommy hugged her. Her blonde hair swayed in her high tight ponytail as she pulled back. She was wearing a playful light yellow sleeveless dress with dark yellow, orange and red flowers spread over the skirt.

What really stopped him though was the arm that was draped around her slim waist. Felicity hadn’t come alone. A guy he’d never met before stood next to her. He was only a few inches taller than her with sandy brown hair and blue eyes. Oliver felt himself stand taller in response.

“Roy, it’s good to see you man! I didn’t know you were going to come,” Tommy greeted him friendly, shaking Roy’s free hand. As he let go of Roy’s hand Tommy turned toward Oliver. “Oliver, this is Roy Harper, he’s the new legal assistant to Mr. Rodes.”

Oliver watched as the hard shell Felicity put on around him slid into place. The bright smile she’d had moments ago tightened, and became guarded. Oliver reached his hand out toward her date. Roy took it and they shared a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you Roy.”

“You’re Oliver Queen, right?” Roy asked and Oliver nodded.

“You used to play second base at Starling High, I beat your home run record my junior year,” the boy boasted. Oliver gave him a tight smile. How old was this kid?

“Good job,” Oliver replied tightly. He returned his gaze to Felicity. “Happy Thanksgiving Felicity, it’s good to see you.”

Felicity gave a short nod. “I didn’t know you were here, your death trap wasn't at the curb. “

“I drove my car instead," he answered. Aware of the annoyance in her tone. Oliver had a feeling she hoped he wouldn't have come. He was starting to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t have.

“Hmm,” Felicity hummed turning back toward Tommy, “Laurel said the turkey needs to go in the deep fryer in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh thats right! Hey Oliver, why don’t you come help me?” Tommy asked already heading away.

Oliver didn’t want to, but there wasn’t a reason not to. But he could understand what Tommy was trying to do. It was already really awkward between him and Felicity, he didn’t want to cause a scene before they even had dinner. Which if he stayed in this room it could happen.

“Roy, Felicity, there is beer and wine in the dining room. Help yourself,” Tommy said over his shoulder as Oliver followed him out.

Oliver stood on the back deck and watched as Tommy got the deep fryer set up. He would offer to help but he didn’t know anything about deep frying a turkey. Raisa had always spent hours babysitting their turkey in the oven, basting it and coaxing it to a nice golden brown. Deep frying was foreign to him.

Besides he was distracted.

“How long has that been going on?” he heard himself ask before he realized what he was doing. He definitely didn't care what or who Felicity did… was with.

“Hmm?” Tommy asked distracted by the user manual, not bothering to look up.

“The Roy and Felicity thing?” Oliver clarified, but trying to sound uninterested.

Tommy looked up at him then, his eyes searching his until Oliver looked away. “Oh, um… probably two or three weeks. Why?”

“No reason,” he answered picking up the box to look at it. Two or three weeks could mean anything. They could be in the early dating feeling ya out stage, or they could potentially be together together. He did have his arm around her waist. Oliver tried not to think about that. “You sure you know how to put this together?”

“I think I can get it, though I should have probably tried to set it up before," Tommy said connecting a hose to the top of a propane canister. “There got it.” He stopped to level Oliver with questioning look. "Ollie, why are you asking about Roy and Felicity?"

“No reason. I just thought maybe he looks a bit young for her.”

“Roy is only four years younger. Not that age should matter,” Tommy chuckled and grabbed a plastic gallon jug of sunflower oil and started to fill the basin on the fryer. “You’re a bit too obvious.”

“What?” Oliver asked staring at his friend.

Tommy brushed his hands against his jeans and stared Oliver down. “Look I’m only going to say this once. Stay away from Felicity. Please don’t instigate a fight with her this evening. Laurel really shouldn’t be dealing with that right now,” he picked up another gallon of oil.

“Is there something wrong with Laurel?” Oliver asked, his interest piqued. He thought Laurel had looked wonderful earlier, softer maybe more tired but just as lovely as always.

“Laurel?” Tommy looked up from what he was doing, he shook his head. “Oh nothing, I mean… yeah nothing. She was just so upset over what she found out you’d said about Felicity that it made her afraid that Felicity would never want to set foot in our house if you were here. She was upset about it for days. Even though we had nothing to really worry about since you’re the one that started avoiding us. So please don’t make things messier than they need to be! You're an adult so try to act like one.”

“Alright dude, I’ll drop it, but you know that she knows how to instigate things too. I’m not the only one to blame all the time,” Oliver said defensively.

“I know, the two of you are worse than toddlers,” Tommy grumbled as he finished filling the pan. “Let’s fry us a turkey!”

“How would you know how bad toddlers are?” Oliver asked and Tommy just rolled his eyes.

“Nevermind, I’m going to get the turkey. Stay here and behave yourself,” he replied over his shoulder as he headed back into the kitchen.

\--O--

An hour later they were all gathered around Tommy and Laurel’s large dining room table. So far everything had gone really well. The only downer was when Laurel’s father got called away. ‘Crime doesn’t take a holiday’, he had said in parting. Kissing Laurel and Sara both on the foreheads before heading out. All of them were involved in quiet conversations while they finished up their meal. Laurel had just brought the pies to the table.

Oliver was putting a scoop of whipped cream on his pumpkin pie slice when all of their attention was drawn toward Sara as she asked, “So Felicity, how did you meet Roy?”

Oliver found his interest piqued, someone finally asking what he had wondered most of the evening. The two of them seemed more like friends than a couple. Other than when they’d first arrived there had been no casual arm slung behind the chair, no casual glances, no pda at all. They both kept up conversations with everyone else equally at the table. Oliver was starting to think Roy had been brought as a distraction more than as someone she was dating.

“Uhm… well we have the same coffee addiction," Felicity answered looking in Roy's direction.

"She means we frequently visit the same coffee house. I finally got brave enough to ask her to dinner," Roy continued, "which she said no to."

Everyone chuckled. Oliver watched Felicity roll her eyes.

"I didn't know him," she said smiling kindly at Roy.

"Not too surprising she doesn't do blind dates either," Oliver supplied lowly, Felicity, Tommy and Laurel all looked in his direction. Different levels of similar glares warning him to shut his mouth. Oliver shrugged, he wasn’t wrong.

Roy cleared his throat and reached for Felicity’s hand on the table, smiling. "I asked three more times before she said yes.”

“It must still be really new then?” Thea blessedly asked, her eyes shifting between Felicity and Roy.

Felicity pulled her hand smoothly from Roy’s, using it to tuck a lock of hair, that had came free from her ponytail, behind her ear. “Just a couple of weeks really, so kind of.”

“Yeah, we’ve only been on two dinner dates. Both of us are pretty busy,” Roy added shifting nervously.

“Hmm,” Thea hummed. Oliver saw the slight quirk to her lip and the way her eyes lingered on Roy. Now there’s an interesting development.

“Ollie, where’s Helena?” Sara’s voice pulled his attention away from his sister. Everyone’s eyes shifted to him, all wondering the same thing apparently.

“She couldn’t come,” he lied, controlling his voice, as if it didn’t matter. Why did it matter? “Something came up.”

“Oh,” Sara answered, smiling like the cat that got the canary. Oliver cringed inwardly. He really didn’t need her fawning over him again. He thought he’d successfully thwarted her all those months ago after the wedding when she’d stumbled against his hotel room door and he sent her on her way.

“I read that something else was Michael Staton,” Felicity supplied before taking another sip from her glass of wine.

All eyes swung to Felicity.

Oliver stiffened where he sat, staring at his own empty wine glass. It wasn’t news to him of course. Oliver raised his eyes to meet Felicity’s, they were the coldest he’d ever seen.

“Sometimes things just don’t work out,” Oliver answered with a shrug.

Sure he’d been upset about it for a couple days. The fact that Helena had chosen to go back to her ex. That she had even hooked up with him before telling Oliver she was done. Ultimately, Oliver knew that Helena and him weren’t going to last long term anyways. So he’d let it go.

“Sometimes when things don’t work out they go back to their ex,” Felicity stated baiting him. The way that she was staring him down, saying things to get his goat. He knew she was just trying to see what he would say, see how much she could push him.

“We wanted different things,” Oliver stated simply, trying hard not to escalate things.

“Sometimes that happens,” Roy cut in. Thea smiled and nodded, as well as the others around the table.

“Yeah, sometimes-” Sara started but Felicity cut her off.

“I heard it had more to do with your reputation, Ollie. It’s gotta be hard being the first girl a habitual one nighter dates full time, maybe you couldn’t keep her happy long term,” Felicity said offhandedly. “It’s easy to have a one night stand, it’s harder to have a sustained and true relationship with someone. Do you even know how to do that?”

“Felicity!” Laurel looked in her direction.

That final jab hurt. Oliver felt his blood heat as he glared at Felicity, she just shrugged her shoulder. It made no sense why she was so hellbent on continuing to tear into him. How did she know so much anyways? Why would she dig into his life when she hated him?

“Do you? Exactly how long were you with Cooper before he decided you weren’t marriage material?” Oliver snapped back at her.

What Oliver knew of Cooper was minimal, just what he’d heard from Tommy from past conversations with Laurel. Cooper had been a shit that had lead Felicity on for three years, then when she thought they were going to get engaged, he’d dumped her over a candle light dinner. Oliver knew bringing him up would hurt Felicity. But she’d left him no choice. He didn’t even know why Cooper had ended it. He just took a wild guess.

“Oliver!” Tommy shouted.

The hard shell Felicity had up suddenly cracked. Her eyes glistened, and he felt a stab of regret for just the smallest of moments. But she had been the one to push, she’d been the one to drag his break up into the conversation and refuse to stop.

“Cooper was an idiot, and so are you!” Felicity yelled, standing from her chair. She threw her napkin on the table while she glared at him. “You as-”

“I’m pregnant!” Laurel shouted as she stood up.

“What!” Felicity gasped, head whipping to look at her best friend.

Oliver felt himself deflate immediately, his head whipping toward his best friend and his wife. Gasps were heard around the room. The tight feeling of the air fizzled away.

“Oh my god, for real?!” Sara squealed, leaving her seat to go to her sister’s side and hugging her.

Felicity fell back into her chair, the sound drawing Oliver’s attention back to her, her mouth still slightly open as she stared at Laurel. She looked lost for a moment, her thoughts likely like his. Moving from a fight to that kind of news was like whiplash. Oliver’s brain was having a hard time switching gears.

“How long?” Felicity finally asked.

“Thirteen weeks,” Tommy said lacing his fingers with Laurel’s over her abdomen. Laurel and Felicity’s eyes were locked.

“You didn’t… I thought… but you… really?…,” Felicity struggled.

“I know, I wanted to tell you but no time seemed like a good one, then we thought we should wait ‘til we were in the safe zone. By then Tommy and I thought it would be cool to tell everyone at dinner,” Laurel said in a rush, the smile spreading across her face was wide and bright. It matched Tommy’s.

Felicity pulled herself upright and out of the chair, she moved to Laurel’s side and gave her a hug.

“Congrats!” Felicity said, smiling. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

Everyone else shared their congrats with the couple too. All too soon all of the women were gushing about baby things and Oliver tuned them out. He felt so out of place.

His fight just now with Felicity ran through his mind. This time it had been her to bait him into an angry exchange of words. His head hurt from the confusion over why it seemed to matter to her so much. Why she felt the need to bring it up at all.

Tommy sat down next to him, pulling him from his thoughts, as the girls left the room. Laurel wanting to show the girls the start of the nursery. Felicity didn’t even spare him a glance as they left the room.

Oliver groaned and wiped a hand over his face. What a mess.

"Dude she left you for her ex?"

"I was a rebound I guess," Oliver said looking over at his friend.

"You could have said something."

"What that my only good use is as a ploy to make someone else jealous?" Oliver leaned back in his chair aggravated that Felicity's words had hit so close to home. "What if she's right and I've backed myself into this label and I'm not good dating material?"

"You're selling yourself short," Tommy stated with a sigh. "Felicity is wrong about you. Just like you’re wrong about her. You're smart and successful. You just need to keep doing what you're doing. Where did she even find that information at?"

Oliver shook his head, he had no idea.

Tommy sighed again next to him and Oliver looked in his direction. Tommy's eyes were strained. "What's up?"

"The two of you need to find a way to get past this shit," he started leveling his gaze on Oliver. "Laurel is wanting to make the two of you the godparents."

"God Tommy you guys can't do that!" That was the worst idea ever.

"We can actually." Oliver looked over at Tommy pleadingly. "Look you don't have to accept but I want you to. You're my best friend, my brother actually since my parents passed. I can't see handing that responsibility to anyone else."

"Tommy my life is a mess, I'm not anywhere near put together enough for that kind of status," he argued honestly. "Here you are ticking off all these things in the adult checklist and I'm just starting to pull my head out of my ass."

"You want all these things right?"

"Well of course eventually. I just-"

"Being a godparent is easy, it’s basically just a label. You're already the uncle. Try not to think too much about it. But please think about what I said about you and Felicity. Maybe apologizing would be a good place to start?" Tommy said as he got up from the chair. Effectively ending the conversation.

Oliver would love to apologize for so many things. But he wasn't sure if Felicity was ready or even willing to listen to him. He didn't believe he was worthy of forgiveness anyways. Then there was whether she felt she needed to apologize.

Thea came into the room five minutes later. A weird expression on her face. She came to an abrupt halt in front of him. "We have to go."

"Why?" Oliver asked as she took his hand and tried, ineffectively, to pull him from the chair.

"Just trust me," she let go of his hand once he gave in and stood up. She moved around the table where Roy was sitting playing something on his phone. Oliver had forgotten he was even there.

"Hey it was nice to meet you, Roy," Thea said holding her hand out. Roy looked up from his phone and smiled.

"Likewise," he stood and reached forward taking her hand, a crease going across his brow as he pulled back. A small white piece of paper between his fingers. Slick one Speedy!

"Just in case," Thea said with a wink and Oliver shook his head. Nothing good could come of that. "Let's go, Ollie!"

"It was nice to meet you Roy," Oliver said in passing, not bothering to shake the boy's hand. “If I were you I’d lose that.”

Roy tucked the paper into his pants pocket.

Once outside, at the car, Oliver stopped at the passenger door to open it for Thea, pausing briefly, "So what's all that about?"

"Ollie, come on it's cold," she whined. He lifted an eyebrow and she growled. "Fine, I may have instigated a little spat between Felicity and myself."

"God Thea, you can’t just do that and run. Things are already a mess between her and I," Oliver turned ready to march back inside and make her apologize. His movement halted when Thea grabbed his hand and gave a large tug.

"Ollie, don't. Please just trust me on this okay? She will be fine. I just pointed out some things, really come on let’s go home.”

Oliver looked up at Laurel and Tommy’s home and back at Thea.

“Trust me,” she said, her eyes pleading with him.

Oliver unlocked the car and opened the door for his sister. He was too tired to deal with it anymore today. If it was really bad he knew that Tommy would address it with him.

“I hope you didn’t make things worse,” he finally voiced as he got into the car.

“I didn’t… not long term anyways.”

Oliver shook his head and started the car. That didn’t sound too promising.

 


	5. Felicity

Felicity chewed the inside of her lip as her fingers tapped away on her keyboard. She focused on the code in front of her and hit enter. The screen flew by for a few seconds and came up with an error. She groaned and leaned back in her desk chair.

 _Why wasn’t this working?_ It should have been an easy line of code. One of her clients wanted a notification when certain web interfaces were used by her employees. So basic. Felicity leaned forward, inches from her computer screen and searched the code again, double checking each character. It seemed fine.

“Miss Smoak?” her assistant, Jill’s voice hesitant, as it cut through her concentration.

“Not now Jill,” she answered shortly, her eyes focusing again on the line of code. _Oh there, found it!_ She started tapping again at her keyboard as she fixed the small portion of code.

“But you told me to tell you if Mr. Queen ever called,” Jill said back nervously.

Felicity’s stood halfway from her chair to look around the four monitors on her desk at her assistant. “Robert Queen is on the phone?”

“Yes… well no. I think he said his name was Oliver Queen,” Jill looked at the pink sticky note in her hand. “Yes an Oliver Queen. Oh wait is it _that_ Oliver Queen?"

“Yeah that would be the one. Tell him I’m busy,” Felicity lied thinly and sat back down in her chair. Her eyes scanned quickly over the code to fix the mistake she'd just found before Jill’s interruption, typing she corrected it. She ignored the pang of guilt that suddenly flared in her chest.

This wasn’t the first time she’d ignored him. It was however the first time that he’d called her office, which now got Jill involved. So now she wasn’t just lying to herself, she was lying through an innocent party.

Felicity had been ignoring him for weeks now. Oliver had messaged her the day after Thanksgiving, while she sat in her tub drowning herself in bubbles and trying desperately to forget all about the disaster she’d caused at dinner. She knew the blame laid squarely on her shoulders, his back lash at her was her own doing.

He wanted to talk.

She knew it was motivated by Tommy and Laurel. Other wise he wouldn’t have had her cell phone number. Laurel had called her several times as well. Leaving messages telling her she needed to screw her head back on straight and soon. That apologizing to Oliver was the right thing to do and that they needed to settle their differences. Laurel wasn’t wrong.

But Felicity still felt so angry at him over the wedding. She couldn’t bring herself to understand why she couldn’t just put it out of her mind. That night she had deemed him a waste of her time wanting to put it behind her. It worked okay until the meeting with QC.

Felicity didn’t know he was going to be at the meeting, hadn’t expected it at all. She managed to get through it, but just barely. Of course Oliver had sat there staring at her as if nothing had happened. Truth be told it irked her more than she could understand. His cool exterior made her blood boil.

So Felicity did something extremely out of character for herself. She set up media alerts, so that if his name showed up she would know about it. It made sense at the time, she wanted to know who she was going to be working with. But somewhere along the line the motivation became blurry. The unthinkable happened, it seemed he was keeping quiet. The only thing the outlets found newsworthy were his quiet cute dates with the beautiful Helena Bertinelli. She set up alerts on her too, just in case.

Felicity showed up at that dinner hoping to just get through it, with Roy’s help as a distraction it should have been easy. Then it went to pot after seeing Oliver, alone. An alert that morning about Helena had been that she was seen with her ex. Drinking made her weak and all the information she had read came bubbling up. She didn’t even know if any of it was true, it didn’t stop her from saying it. Felicity just wanted him to squirm. She had succeeded. Only causing him to strike back at her, mentioning Cooper.

Later after Laurel’s wonderfully happy news in the midst of Felicity’s own storm she finally started to feel the effects of the fight and drinking too much. She was feeling especially lowly when Thea, his little sister, had called her bitter and afraid. She’d been offended that Thea would say such a thing, the girl didn’t know her at all. It renewed her anger that these people who didn’t know her at all could say such things about her.

That was enough to keep her from taking Oliver’s call for the first several days. It was Roy telling her that he liked her, thought she was a really wonderful person but ended things anyways, that really hit home. He said that he couldn’t be with her because he felt she had some serious issues she needed to work through. As if she hadn’t been embarrassed enough. Roy assured her that he still wanted to be her friend, keeping to his word the got together once a week to watch Dr. Who and eat ice cream.

Try as she may to push it behind her she couldn’t get past the embarrassment. She couldn’t recognize that person who did those things. She didn’t even know where to start to fix what had happened.

“He said you would say that,” Jill responded nervously, as she fidgeted in the doorway.

Felicity leaned sideways, to look at Jill, raising an eyebrow. “Really now…”

Jill sighed and nodded her head, “Yeah, he said it was urgent business, and he’d keep calling until you answered.”

Felicity groaned and rolled her eyes, sliding her chair over along the desk to her phone she snatched up the receiver. She heard the deep breath that Jill released as she visibly relaxed. Felicity could only imagine what was going through her assistant’s head.

“Line three," Jill said before she headed back out to her desk.

Felicity pressed the blinking button for line three and let out a slow breath, to settle her nerves, then lifted her finger off the button. Embarrassment be damned it was high time she put an end to the stalemate on her side. It was time to work through their issues. How bad could a chat on the phone go?

“This is Miss Smoak.”

 _“Felicity?”_ the shock was evident in Oliver’s tone. _“I didn’t expect you to actually take my call.”_

“What do you need Mr. Queen, you said it was urgent and I’m very busy.” Felicity viewed it only as a small fib, she had at least a dozen other requests from clients to deal with. But all things that she should be able to finish before the end of the day. But he didn’t need to know that.

 _“Please can’t you call me Oliver? Mr Queen is my father.”_ Felicity remained quiet. She had every intention of finding out what he needed, even though she was sure she already knew, then getting off the phone. Oliver cleared his throat. _“Okay..., nevermind. Would you meet me for lunch on Saturday? There is a deli across from QC-”_

“What?” Felicity spoke breathlessly. She’d expected that they would just talk it out on the phone. “Lunch? Why, can’t we just talk about it on the phone?” Where she wouldn’t have to face him.

Oliver’s deep sigh came across the phone line, shuffling followed before he continued. _“Because we need to do this in person Felicity. There are too many misunderstandings between us. Please don't make this-”_

“Okay… okay,” Felicity could hear the slight twinge of exhaustion in his voice, an edge that verged on annoyance. That was exactly the thing they needed to learn to avoid. “One second, I need to check my calendar,” Felicity grabbed her tablet and pulled open her calendar. Saturday was slated as shopping for a dress for a New Year's Eve charity gala she had been invited to attend at Laurel's law office, she could fit lunch in with him in the middle of appointments. “Saturday is fine, what time?”

She heard Oliver blow out a slow breath, as if he had been holding it in. _“Great, um... how does one o’clock sound?”_

“That should be fine,” she added the event to her calendar and closed her tablet. "The deli across from QC?"

_"Yes, it's called Mona's."_

"Okay," Felicity knew of it, she'd stopped there for a coffee after the last time she'd gone to QC to see Alan.

 _“Thank you Felicity!”_ There was an edge of hopefulness to his tone that made her stomach clench. He should have been furious and brief with her.

Felicity tapped on her desk, nervous energy making her fidget. “Well if that’s all? I really do have a list of things I need to finish today.”

_“Yes that’s all, I’ll let you get back to work.”_

“Okay, bye,” Felicity felt the need to get off the phone before it went any further. She’d see him Saturday anyways.

 _“Goodbye Felicity, see you Saturday,”_ he said in closing before he hung up.

Felicity placed the phone back into its cradle and stared absently at it. That hadn’t gone as she expected. It gave her a small fraction of hope that lunch wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

\--F--

Saturday came all too soon.

Felicity woke with a start as the alarm on her phone sounded. She tumbled from the bed, crinkling paperwork as she searched blindly for her glasses. A quick look at the phone as she silenced the alarm told her she'd have to forego a shower or fighting her contacts. She should have left already.

She grabbed her favorite oversized sweatshirt, pulled it over her camisole, yanked on a pair of yoga leggings from her drawer, frustrated when it was a cropped pair, but stepped into her favorite boots anyways. She was trying on dresses, no need to dress up. She tucked her blonde hair into a messy bun on her head fastening it with two pencils as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She had ten minutes to get across town for her appointment.

The first appointment had been an epic bust. The stylist detested late people, so it just went downhill from there. Three dresses in and Felicity gave up on trying to make the stylist like her and put an end to both their suffering.  She hit her favorite coffee shop on the way to her next appointment, which happened to be at her favorite dress boutique. She'd only gone to the other on a recommendation from Laurel. Plus it was open the earliest.

Felicity wished she hadn’t have wasted either of their time. Of course the very first dress Sandra brought her had been the perfect one. She was in love with it from the second she saw it on the hanger. Trying it on made her decision for her, she hoped that it wouldn’t be too dressy for the gala.

An alert on her phone, as her and Sandra completed her order, had her groaning. She was due to be at lunch with Oliver. She completely forgot that she had agreed to that today. In a wicked turn of events she was going to be late. Felicity thanked Sandra and made her way out to her car.

“Oh that’s lovely,” she sighed as she shivered, the temperature having dropped since that morning. While she was inside snow had begun to fall, a light dusting covered everything in a light cover of white. She cleared her windshield and sent Oliver a quick text to let him know she was on her way.

She parked around the corner from the Deli and quickly made her way through the increasing amount of snowflakes to Mona’s. The inside was warm and smelled of fresh baked bread and coffee. Felicity’s eyes scanned the space looking for Oliver as she brushed the melting flakes off her sweatshirt before attempting to dry her glasses. She was just placing them on her eyes when she finally found his table. He wasn’t alone.

Felicity slowly approached, pulling her bag closer to her body. He was sitting at the table with a beautiful long haired brunette. Felicity was just steps away when the woman threw her head back and laughed at something Oliver had just said. The woman’s hand touched his arm before slowly drawing down his forearm as she leaned closer. Oliver’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. As if he knew Felicity was staring Oliver’s eyes left his guests and locked on hers. The next second he was standing.

“Felicity! There you are,” Oliver greeted her as he came around the table. The woman at the table turned to look in her direction, her smile tightening.

Felicity felt the other woman’s gaze shift over her body. “Yeah, my fitting ran long, my stylist had to take a few more measurements and then I got the alert and realized I had completely forgot about lunch,” she breathed in a breath and sighed, “Anyway, I’m so sorry I’m late.”

“You’re wet,” Oliver observed as he pulled a chair out for her.

“Yes, well it’s snowing,” Felicity answered, her voice sounding more annoyed than she had meant. It was definitely directed at the snow and not Oliver. “Sorry, hadn’t planned on the snow either obviously.”

“Finally the snow arrives, perhaps it’ll stick around for Christmas. Are you _the_ Felicity Smoak?” the brunette asked her voice full of wonder as Felicity lowered herself into the chair Oliver had pulled out for her. She got a better look at the woman and realized that she looked oddly familiar, but couldn’t think of her name.

“Yes,” she answered slowly as a waitress brought a third glass of water to the table and set a small menu in front of Felicity. “And you are?”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Oliver apologized swiftly before the woman could answer as he settled back into his own chair. “This is Isabel Rochev. She’s vice president of acquisitions of-”

“Stellmoor International,” Felicity finished for him as the name clicked. Isabel Rochev was a rockstar businesswoman, someone that Felicity aspired to be like. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise, I hear you’re going to be helping Queen Consolidated with their new Applied Sciences division, Stellmoor was disappointed to have been edged out by your proposal. I hope you’re up to the task,” Isabel said, her eyes once again making a run over Felicity.

The look on Isabel’s face was one full of doubt, Felicity wondered what she was thinking. A drop of cold wet hit her slightly exposed shoulder and Felicity stiffened. She felt herself flush deeply with embarrassment as she realized how she must look.

 _Oh my god_ , she thought as she tried to control her inner panic. Felicity hadn’t even tried this morning, in her rush she just threw something on. She could feel the tendrils of hair around her face where they had fallen out of her bun. She didn’t have any make up and there were spots on her glasses from where the snow had hit and dried. She started to glance nervously around the room. Maybe there was a restroom she could hide or better yet die in.

“We wouldn’t have chosen Felicity if we didn’t believe in her abilities Isabel,” Oliver stated with firm confidence. Felicity’s eyes met his, grateful for his support even if she looked anything but put together. He broke their gaze, eyes shifting to Isabel. “Weren’t you going to head out?”

Isabel looked at her wristwatch, and suddenly was in motion. “Oh yes, oh goodness, I have to meet my mother. Tell your mother hello for me, Ollie, and thank you for helping me with that thing. I look forward to seeing you later this week,” Isabel said as she pulled her jacket back on, pulling her purse onto her shoulder. She moved to stand, Oliver rose immediately from his chair and moved to Isabel’s side.

Felicity couldn’t help it as her eyes locked onto the way Oliver held Isabel’s elbow as she stood. Felicity realized she was staring and looked away, only to be drawn back to the pair as Isabel giggled and he leaned in to place a quick kiss to Isabel’s cheek. She had a hard time connecting this person to the one she had gotten to know over the last several months.

Irritation licked fresh at her mind. He’d been that way somewhat with her just before the wedding. Sweet and a little flirty as they’d stopped bickering whenever they were in the same room. But as easily as flipping a switch he was telling people, she didn’t even know, that she was a frost queen. It didn’t add up in her mind.

“I’ll pick you up at six if that’s alright,” he said in a hushed tone that Felicity just barely heard. She busied herself with her menu.

“Sounds wonderful, Ollie. It was so lovely to finally meet you Felicity, hopefully someday soon we’ll get to work together,” Isabel said drawing Felicity’s eyes to her own, finding a smile waiting for her. Felicity smiled back even though she felt that she had made a poor impression on Isabel. Of all the days for her to oversleep.

“Definitely,” Felicity offered with a nod. Isabel gave a slow wave and walked away, lifting her phone to her ear.

Oliver returned to his seat, smoothing his tie over his chest before his eyes met hers across the table. “I’m sorry about that. She had some questions about a company that we’d worked with before and I offered her some help. She followed me over from QC and when you were late I let her stay.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain or justify anything to me,” Felicity replied returning her attention to her menu. She resisted the urge to fix her hair, or straighten her sweatshirt. She did drop her bag off her arm to the floor at her side. “So what’s your favorite thing to eat here?”

After her question was met with silence she looked up from her menu to see Oliver studying her quietly. His gaze felt like a physical thing and it was hard for her to ignore the itch to fuss with her clothes or hair. Felicity had taken great care when she first started her company to train herself not to fidget. Being the owner of her own company, that she wanted to be successful, she wanted to always look cool calm and collected. Fidgeting was none of those things. But Oliver’s gaze was unsettling to her, setting her already frayed nerves on edge.

“Can you not stare at me,” she finally snapped, setting the menu down.

Oliver blinked, “I’m sorry I …. the ruben is wonderful.”

Felicity shook her head and tried to breath through the awkwardness of it all. She once again felt embarrassed by her actions from Thanksgiving, and the things that she had said. She made to open her mouth to apologize only to stop when he’d clear his throat as if he was going to talk. She snapped her teeth together to wait for what he would say. Instead frustratingly, Oliver remained silent.

The waiter came and took their order. The silence stretched on between them like a living breathing thing. She felt wound tight by the tension, she worked on her glass of water while they waited for their food. She breathed out in relief when their sandwiches and fries were delivered to the table. At least her mouth would have something else to do than chew on the inside of her lip.

It seemed neither one of them wanted to go first. Felicity wouldn’t as she felt Oliver had wronged her first, as childish as she knew that sounded. It was his idea to get together for lunch instead of just hashing it out over the phone. She would just sit and wai-

“I want to apologize,” Oliver said suddenly, interrupting Felicity’s thoughts drawing her eyes away from her plate to look at him. Felicity swallowed the bit of sandwich that she’d just taken. Their eyes met and Oliver sighed.

“I was an asshole that first day. I know that. I could offer any one of a million excuses but it wouldn’t change anything. I am really good at making bad decisions,” he leveled her with a look. Remorse was evident. “Which I proved in spades at the wedding. I really can’t tell you how sorry I am for my actions that evening.”

Felicity looked away. She wished she could just forget the sound of him describing her as a frost queen. “Why did you say those things?”

“My go to answer is I was drunk, but I wasn’t, not really.”

“You looked like you were working your way up to completely smashed while we ate dinner. I saw the way you were emptying champagne glasses. So I could buy you were very drunk as an answer. Not that that would absolve you from what you did!”

“Felicity, I drink champagne a lot, I grew up on it. There is a staggering amount that I have to drink before I’m even buzzed by it anymore. None of that matters though,” He sighed and wiped a hand over his face. “The real reason was I was angry, and hurt. Things were finally going well between us, in my mind anyways and I thought that we had a chance at being actual friends. Then as we were dancing you so easily dismissed me. I didn’t know I could feel the way I did when you walked away leaving me there with Sara,” Oliver explained.

Felicity thought back to that evening. Oliver had seemed lighter, and nicer to her, just like he’d been at the rehearsal dinner. Their dance was really nice, better than she expected since it was a request from their friends, but she thought it ended naturally. Sara had cut in and she hadn’t thought she said anything out of line. She remembered her comments and she honestly thought that he would have been happy about it too. The two had a really hard time being in the same room together without finding something to bicker about. Which was evident by his comments in the hall. “Angry about us not seeing each other? That doesn’t make any sense Oliver. I mean until the final weeks before the wedding you and I did nothing but pick at each other.”

“I know. I wish I could explain it, and I know there is no way that I can take it back and make it right. All I can do is tell you that there isn’t a day that I don’t regret what I said.”

“I don’t know if I’m capable of forgiving it,” Felicity stated honestly. If she hadn’t have been standing there, he would have gotten away with it. “At least not yet. Knowing you regret it helps.”

Oliver gave a relieved sigh and nodded. “I can accept that.”

Felicity sighed, chewing the inside of her lip. “I’m sorry too, about Thanksgiving.”

“Thanksgiving was the worst I’d ever seen you,” Oliver admitted. “I didn’t know you could be so…”

“Bitchy?” Felicity offered.

“Cold and detached. The information you had amazed me, no one else knew but you did. About Helena I mean. How did-”

“Lucky guess I suppose, you were alone at the dinner when others thought she would be there. I just took a stab at what it could have been,” she wouldn’t admit to the alerts, no one knew so why should she? Oliver looked sceptical but didn’t say anything so she continued.

“That wasn’t me,” she offered. It was the truth. That person who went to that dinner, hadn’t been her at all. Felicity didn’t know that person existed inside of her. It was some weird person who had taken up residence in her body sometime the month before. “I am so ashamed of what I said. How things happened. I should have never allowed it to escalate that far.”

Oliver sat quietly observing her. His gaze once again making her want to shift. Finally he looked away, picking up his sandwich. “It’s okay, I get it,” Oliver stated softly. “Everyone has a bad day.”

Felicity stared at him. How could this be the person she’d met so many months ago who was quick to poke and push her until she snapped back at him. He’d just absolved her of what she had done with an ‘everybody has a bad day’.

“You don’t have to forgive me,” she said quickly, wanting him to know she’d understand if he didn’t forgive her. “What I said at dinner was despicable. I can’t even tell you what compelled me to say and do what I did,” she sucked in a breath and wiped her eye, feeling the beginnings of a tear that she couldn’t allow to fall. “It was truly the worst thing ever. Not only against you, but our friends shouldn’t have had to endure that. The whole reason I’ve avoided you and having this conversation is that I felt… feel so embarrassed by what I did.”

“Thats a feeling I know all too well,” Oliver said on a sigh. “I have been the family joke for years. Trust me, embarrassment is my middle name. But you can overcome it, just like I think I can too. I’m learning I can change so that maybe it stops happening. That thing at the wedding, the way you confronted me, finally woke me up. I’m trying now, to be someone that is worthy of the friends who care about me. I hope one day that you and I can be friends as well. Felicity, can we start again?” He asked, eyes pleading with her.

“I don’t know if I know how,” Felicity answered honestly. How do you start over after so much crap has happened?

"Well how about…. Hi, I'm Oliver Queen, my friends call me Ollie," Oliver held his hand out over the table. Felicity felt her nose crinkle even as she smiled at him.

“I hate that nickname,” she blurted as she shook his hand.

Oliver chuckled and nodded, pulling his hand free to rub the back of his neck. “I kind of figured, when you said it that night at the reception it sounded like you wanted to throw up.”

“Not quite, but close,” Felicity conceded. “Felicity Smoak by the way, friends call me whatever they want as long as I can recognize it,” she finished with a grin.

“Felicity it is then,” Oliver replied. His smile faltered slightly. “Let’s just start with trying not to fight so much. We can’t take back the past, or make it disappear so how about we just work on it from here on out?” Oliver asked, his voice sounding hopeful.

“I think that can work. Thank you for not trying to make it like it didn’t happen,” she said feeling a small weight lift from her chest, and he started nodding his head immediately.

“We need to learn from it. I know that I have. So from here on out let’s just be friendly. I can’t promise I won’t have a snide comment from time to time though,” he said with a chuckle, his spirit obviously lighter. The sound soothing a small part of her.

“Okay, well I can’t promise I won’t call you on your crap,” she said, feeling the beginnings of a smile tug at her lips.

“Deal,” Oliver held out his hand and she shook it, drawing back only to miss his heat instantly. “Felicity, I want to do this for Tommy and Laurel. They mean the world to me, and I’m sure they mean just as much to you. They want us as their child’s godparents so I want to show them they aren’t making a colossal mistake,” Oliver stated.

“I want that too.”

“Good, I’m so glad you finally agreed to lunch. Thank you for coming,” Oliver said.

“I’m glad I finally gave in. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m going to look forward to us not fighting all the time,” Felicity confessed.

“I know this isn’t going to be a cakewalk. It’ll be hard work, but nothing great ever comes easy,” Oliver said, Felicity eyed him warily. “I mean it’s going to be hard to always keep a straight face around you, especially if you insist on looking like a drowned rat.”

“Haha, you’re so hilarious, Queen,” Felicity rolled her eyes at him. The man had jokes.

“What did you do, roll out of bed this morning and throw on what was available?”

“Pretty much, I was running late. Like I said before, I may have forgotten about the lunch thing,” she said chewing her lip.

“It’s okay, things happen,” Oliver’s eyes passed over her again. She felt warmth spread across her face. She wished there was a way to turn blushing off.

“I’m sure that Isabel thought I was some kind of wackadoo.”

“Isabel can think what she wants. You only somewhat resemble a wackadoo, whatever that is.”

Felicity laughed. She’d gone into this meeting thinking that things were going to be tense, admittedly they were but somewhere in the middle it had changed. She was amazed at how well they could get along. They’d both apologized. She was still a little upset with Oliver, his words had been like a sword that cut too deeply into her flesh. But she knew it was something she needed to work on and let go of on her own time.

"So I’ll see you at the Christmas party?" Oliver asked twenty minutes later as they reached the street. The snow had stopped falling, leaving everything covered in bright white snow, making the air feel crisp.

"Yep of course," Felicity said with a smile, he returned it with one that made her stomach clench. The same crinkles appeared around his eyes as he smiled similar to his smile for Isabel. "So not to pry but you and Isabel?"

"Oh uh... Not exactly," Oliver stumbled, rubbing the back of his neck in his nervous way.

"Well it sounded like she was going with you somewhere. I assumed it was the Christmas party."

"Well, yes, I did invite her," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's wonderful," Felicity stated. Amazed that he looked nervous.

"Really?"

"Well sure. Having a date is nice when you're surrounded by couples. I heard a few of the neighbors were going to be there, all couples. I've invited Roy," she shifted in her spot. She hated lying but she would call Roy right after and ask him. If Oliver was going to have a date, she wanted one too, not wanting to be the only single person there. Surely he’d go with her as a friend?

"Oh that's great! I would have thought after thanksgiving and Thea-"

"Thea?" She asked interrupting him. She watched as his eyes closed for a brief moment, she tried to recall anything she might have seen between the two at dinner. She’d been so focused on Oliver that she couldn’t remember if anything had gone on with Thea and Roy. Yet another stellar example of how messed up she had been that night.

"Oh... well they had exchanged words, nothing major. I just thought maybe he wouldn't have wanted to be around any of us. That dinner was pretty crazy," Oliver rambled on quickly. She'd have to remember to ask Roy what Thea and him had had words about. But after she asked, begged him, to be her date one more time.

"Yeah I guess you’re right. Maybe it was like a trainwreck, maybe he expects there will be another,” she said with a shrug.

“We won’t let that happen this time,” Oliver stated firmly.

“No, we won’t,” Felicity agreed. A small gust of wind blew past them and Felicity shivered. She decided it was time to go home. “So I'll see you Thursday then?" Felicity asked adjusting her glasses on her nose.

"Yes, definitely. Thank you Felicity," Oliver said with a nod.

Felicity gave a short nod in return before heading for her car. She hoped that the two of them could pull this off.

\--F--

So far the Christmas party had gone wonderfully. Laurel had outdone herself in her decorations and the food was amazing. Half of it was catered by a woman from their little community, and she had done a magnificent job. It left Laurel time to visit with friends, coworkers and a few of the clients she’d invited. Or as she was doing now allowing her best friend to live vicariously through her.

Felicity stood with her hands pressed to Laurel’s expanding belly. There wasn’t much of a baby belly yet but at 17 weeks there was a good sized bump. Laurel had just started to feel the baby kick, Felicity was desperately trying to feel the small movements.

“I still feel nothing!” she pouted. Laurel smiled fondly at her and placed her hands over Felicity’s.

“Just a few more weeks, maybe then everyone will be able to feel it,” Laurel commented. “So you brought Roy...again?”

“Yeah well I promised I’d try to hook him up with Thea,” Felicity said, pulling her hands away from her friend and reaching for her wine glass to take a sip.

“You what?” Laurel’s voice dropped as she glared at Felicity. Clearly Laurel was not amused.

“Hey, it’s okay. Apparently Thea had given him her number at Thanksgiving and he forgot it was in his pocket and it went through the wash-”

“Goodness Felicity...” Laurel sighed and shook her head. “Why not just come alone?”

“Because I didn’t want to come alone Laurel. All these couples and what me just by myself. Where’s the fun in that?” Felicity shrugged.

“What’s the real reason Felicity?”

Felicity groaned, having a best friend that knew you better than anyone else was a real pain in the ass sometimes. “Because Oliver was bringing a date and I may have lied that I had already invited Roy, so then I had to invite him and-,” Felicity mumbled in a rush over her glass.

“Oh jeez,” Laurel rolled her eyes. “Felicity!”

“Look everyone here is coupled up! I hoped Thea would be here, of course she’s not…” Felicity pouted again. Now she really owed Roy.

“You are so silly you know that?” Felicity chose not to answer as she took another sip of wine. Laurel nodded and took the non-answer as confirmation. “So you and Oliver are okay now?” Laurel asked.

“I don’t know if we’re okay, but we definitely aren’t going to be filleting each other anytime soon,” Felicity offered as her eyes sought him out.

Oliver and Isabel stood side by side listening to one of Tommy and Laurel’s neighbors tell them a story of some sort. The man was large, making Oliver look short from across the room. Felicity remembered the man’s name was John Diggle, having already been introduced to him earlier in the month. The woman beside him was his ex wife, Lyla Michaels. Even though they were divorced they were back together and expecting their first child any day.

Felicity decided she would never be cut out for suburban life. There was so much to keep track of, and all of it beyond her understanding. There was a couple who had five children that were ‘stair steps’. Whatever that meant. The couples who had kids only talked about them. The ones that didn’t have children but wanted them talked about trying. Felicity’s head hurt from trying to keep it all straight.

“Well I’m glad you guys are trying,” Laurel said drawing her attention back to the party. Laurel fidgeted with her wristwatch then frowned, suddenly flustered. “Oh jeez, I just realized I need to go call my dad. I’ll be right back.”

“No problem,” Felicity said, finding herself suddenly alone. She wondered what the couple was talking about, maybe she could go over and eavesdrop. She was in motion without thinking about it and Roy intercepted her as he came to her side and hip checked her gently.

“Having fun?” he asked, wrapping his arm lazily around her lower back guiding her forward.

“Actually I am, just a quiet evening of friendly conversation. How about you?,” she asked.

“Pretty good, Thea isn’t here but that’s okay.”

“I know, I promise to make it up to you, okay? I’m pretty sure I could ask Oliver for her number. I really do appreciate you coming with me and staying even though you didn’t have to,” Felicity said quickly offering him a soft smile.

Felicity was more than grateful that he had agreed to join her. She’d called him on the way home from lunch with Oliver, begging and pleading with him to go with her. He said he’d consider it over pizza, Dr. Who and ice cream. They spent the evening discussing her lunch with Oliver and Roy had explained the incident with Thea. Having felt horrible about the mess on Thanksgiving she offered to get Thea’s number for him again if he came with her.

“Actually, I’m glad I came with you. You’re an easy date when you aren’t going off on other guests,” Roy said with a smirk.

“You’re hilarious, Roy, don’t make me take back my offer,” Felicity elbowed him.

“I’m sorry, I know we’re trying to avoid a repeat. It’s obvious by the way you’ve pretty much avoided being on the same side of the room as him and Miss Rochev all evening,” Roy pointed out.

“I didn’t want to rock the boat too much. I told you about the lunch and how she had met me. Besides, she’s had her hand wrapped around his elbow all evening and he’s easily avoided me too,” she said as they approached the small group that had gathered around Oliver and Isabel.

“Can I show you something?” Roy asked and Felicity nodded. He lead her to the table just to the left of Oliver. “See this here?” He was pointing to a picture frame on the table. It was one of Laurel and her on the beach in California. One of their little vacations. Felicity smiled.

“What about it?” Felicity asked looking back to Roy but he was looking past her.

“What’s up Roy?” Oliver asked as he turned in their direction, just then Felicity noticed Roy’s other hand was pointing upward.

“Oh my,” Isabel said with a giggle, just as Oliver groaned.

“Roy,” he started shaking his head.

Felicity looked at the small bundle of green and red that Roy was pointing too and realized what he’d done. _That little shit!_

“Ha ha that’s hilarious, Roy,” Felicity said shaking her head. “So not happening!”

He had lead her to just under the small sprig of mistletoe that Laurel had put up as a gag. She should have known Roy would retaliate for Thea not being there. He just needed the right opportunity. But this was low. He was turning out to be the brother she never had, maybe never wanted.

“Actually,” Roy started but paused as he gauged what he was about to say next. “You and Oliver are standing under it.”

Felicity felt the blood drain from her face. A quick dart of her eyes confirmed what he had just pointed out. Her heart skipped at least three beats before finally restarting at a frantic pace. There was no way that was happening. “No, I’m pretty sure you’re under it.”

Oliver sighed from beside her, his hand suddenly at her elbow. Warmth radiated up her arm from his touch, she knew instantly she should have wore the long sleeved blouse instead of the capped sleeved one. Such a random thought as goosebumps flashed across her skin.

“It’s okay Felicity,” Oliver said softly.

 _No it’s not!_ She screamed inside. “Queen, you don’t have to do this. We don’t have to do this. I mean you have a date and I have a-”

Felicity’s words died on her lips as Oliver pressed his own to hers. Instantly her lips tingled and her eyes slipped closed. Her brain stuttered for half a second before she was pressing back into his kiss, lifting onto her tiptoes as she leaned into his body. Warmth covered both her cheeks, as her lips opened, teeth just barely touching the softness of Oliver’s lower lip before he suddenly pulled away.

Cheers erupted around them, Roy the loudest as Isabel’s giggle came from beside Felicity. All Felicity could see was Oliver’s eyes, the blown pupils and the crinkle at the edges as a smile lifted his lips. She felt her heart flying away in her chest.

“It’s tradition,” Oliver offered with a shrug, his cheeks rosy as he swallowed. He ran a hand over the back of his neck as Isabel stepped closer.

Felicity felt the butterflies in her stomach plummet. Tradition. “Of course. Um… excuse me.”

Felicity darted from the room. Roy called out to her as she rushed past Tommy to get to the bathroom. Once the door shut and was locked behind her, she slowly slid to the floor. Her fingers pressed to her still tingling lips.


	6. Oliver

Kissing Felicity under the mistletoe had seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do. How many other times had he shared a quick kiss the same way with other women? To many to count. It was just a simple tradition. Get caught under the mistletoe at Christmas and you shared a kiss with the person. It wasn't supposed to mean anything.

It _didn't_ mean anything.

Oliver groaned and shook his head, trying to pull his mind back to the task at hand and looked over a file his father had left for him the day before. It was a report from the project foreman in Central City, it seemed as though they needed a head from QC to go down and make sure everything was progressing as it should be. His father had asked him to go and he jumped at the chance. A train ticket to Central City already sat on the corner of his desk.

Oliver hoped that getting out of town for a couple days would help focus his mind back on work. He just couldn't seem to concentrate at all lately. Ever since the Christmas party he had been plagued by the kiss.

He couldn't seem to get Felicity out of his head. If he was honest with himself that problem started farther back than the kiss. Before he'd been able to just put it aside, but the kiss had changed things.

When he and Isabel had shown up at the party none of the other guests had arrived yet. It was nice to relax and introduce Isabel to Tommy and Laurel before everyone showed up. As guests started trickling into the Merlyn home he found himself watching for Felicity. It hadn't been a full week since they'd shared apologies over lunch, and he wondered how their first interaction would go.

Once Felicity and Roy arrived they shared a brief greeting before Laurel had whisked Felicity off to do something else. There were so many other guests that it was easy to get drawn from one conversation to another. The evening passed that way until Roy had set up the trick.

Oliver's first thought was disbelief. First that Roy had chosen to do something so juvenile, and secondly that Felicity had been so distracted that she allowed it to happen. But there are rules to these things and even though she immediately started to back away he'd leaned in and kissed her.

Just a simple press of his lips to hers. That's all it was supposed to be. True to form he underestimated Felicity. Her eyes slipped closed and she pressed back into the kiss.

Instantly Oliver's heart began to race and his fingers tightened on her elbow pulling her closer even as she leaned her body against his. Her fingers gripped the lapels of his jacket, the room around them seemed to disappear as her lips parted. Felicity's breath was warm and moist against his lips. He almost allowed his tongue to slip out to taste her when a throat clearing behind him reminded him where they were, that they weren't alone. He pulled away just as her teeth brushed his lip, a needy sigh leaving her lips.

Oliver's eyes locked on Felicity's and he found himself surprised by what he'd seen in her depths before the cheers of people around them broke through. Just a simple kiss he told himself. _"It's tradition."_

Of course he saw the moment something changed. Felicity excused herself and swept out of the room. Oliver worried if once again he'd pushed her too far. But when she returned she was all smiles and continued on like the kiss had been just that, a kiss. Felicity pointed at Roy and shook her head then all too soon the evening was over.

Here Oliver sat not quite a week later and it was still popping into his mind.

A knock sounded on his office door and he looked up. "Hey Dad!"

"Hi Oliver, did you get, oh never mind I see you're already reading it," Robert Queen said as he moved into the office, taking the seat across from Oliver.

"Yeah, looks like they've taken a few liberties like you were saying. I'll set them straight," Oliver said, thankful for the distraction. "Was there anything else you wanted me to take care of while I was in Central City?"

"Actually, I was thinking you could take a small vacation," his father said as a slow smile spread across his face. One Oliver recognized well.

"I don't know if a vacation is the right thing right now," Oliver said leaning back in his chair. "We have the building going up, and the building committee here in Starling is supposed to go over the plans for the new Applied Science building next week."

"I know, but you've been working nonstop for months now. If anyone deserves some time off it's you son," his father matched his laid back position, crossing his leg over his knee. "I heard that Miss Rochev would be in Central City for the next couple of weeks as well."

"What would her being in Central City have to do with me taking a vacation?" Oliver asked.

"Not much, your mother and I just happened to notice the two of you had been seen around a bit lately," Robert said picking at a stray something on his knee.

"We have, sort of," Oliver voiced slowly. Isabel and him weren't exactly dating. Sure he'd helped her out on a work issue, and then they'd done lunch a couple times. He even invited her along to the Merlyn Christmas party. She was easy to spend time with.

"I just wanted you to know I approve," his father said with a grin.

Oliver felt himself start to flush a little. Now Oliver understood the motivation for his father's visit, for asking him to go to Central City to take care of what needed done. It increased the chances of him running into Isabel. They just weren't that way though.

"We're just work associates," Oliver started to clarify and watched as his father's eye brow lifted. "Okay, friends, we've gone to lunch, and a party. There may have been a little flirting back and forth but nothing serious."

"What's holding you back, Oliver?"

That was the question wasn't it. He'd asked himself the same thing when he'd dropped her at home after the Christmas party. For knowing only a small handful of people at the party Isabel was kind and courteous, even put up with his antics over the kiss. She had ignored his distractedness and didn't rush him to leave even though all of the family conversation must have been dull. She put up with all of it and kissed him on the cheek as he dropped her at home, thanking him for a wonderful evening.

Oliver knew his father was ultimately asking him when he was going to get serious and settle down, without actually asking it. Oliver also knew that Isabel looked good on paper. She was a safe choice. She was one of the top business women in the world, already a Vice President of a rather large company, and well on her way to one day being CEO of either that company or another. Oliver could understand his father's draw to her as a possible match for him.

Oliver also knew that he wasn't what most would call a good catch. Oh several women would give anything to be with him, lots actually. Most of which only wanted him because of what it could gain them. But when you actually looked at his accomplishments they were overshadowed by the many mistakes he had made personally along the way. The only thing that made him desireable was his status as a Queen heir and money. He was aiming to change that now but he wasn't sure that Isabel would want someone like him long term.

"I'm not sure I'm the person she'd want on her arm and at her side. I have a pretty colored past," Oliver admitted.

"You've been doing better these last four months, staying out of the public's eye. Your mother and I have been proud of the growth you've shown," Robert Queen stated, proud father voice in full effect. Oliver was pretty sure he hadn't heard that tone since high school. "Hopefully one day you'll see what the rest of us see in you."

"Thank you," Oliver replied, unsure of what else he could say. He cleared his throat and smiled at his dad. "For the vacation too. I'll take a few days. It's a good idea."

"Good. Take however long you'd like," his father stood and smoothed his jacket. "Have fun at the gala tomorrow."

"I thought you and mom were going too?"

"We sent a donation instead. I'm going to surprise your mom with a trip out to Coast City, a late Christmas present," his father said with a wide grin. Oliver returned it and tried not to think about his parents on vacation alone.

"Well I hope you guys have fun," Oliver said as his father made to walk out of his office.

"I'm sure we will," his father replied, walking out of his office.

Oliver picked the folder back up and with renewed focus started reading over the document once more. He wanted to have all of it straight before his trip. He wouldn't let his father down.

"Oliver."

Oliver startled at the sound of his father's voice, having assumed he'd already left. "Yeah?"

"Stop working, go home or do something fun. Call Isabel," Robert Queen instructed and Oliver set down the report.

"But-"

"No buts, get out of here, I'm about to send everyone else home too. Have a Happy New Year," with that his father officially left.

Oliver stared at the empty doorway and contemplated what he should do. 'Call Isabel', his father had said. He could admit to having warm feelings toward her. It would be easy to call and ask her to dinner. Something a little more intimate than a working lunch. He wondered if they didn't have work to talk about would they have anything to say? Maybe there wasn't anything there yet but could there be if he tried?

Oliver's mind unhelpfully reminded him of the kiss with Felicity.

He groaned and shook his head, there was nothing good that could come of continuing to dwell on that. He picked up his cell phone and shot Isabel a text, asking her what she was doing that evening. As he waited for her response he reminded himself about the promise to not cause trouble between him and Felicity.

Tommy and Laurel were the priority. If he allowed himself to think about what it would be like to be with Felicity, and he accidently slipped up then things could go south again. Maybe to the point that it could do irreparable damage to his relationship with Tommy.

Oliver would not allow that to happen. Tommy was more than just his best friend, he was his brother. Felicity had made it pretty clear that nothing would ever happen there. It was best to forget about the kiss.

Oliver's phone chimed. He smiled and stood from his desk. Maybe it was high time he took some of his own father's advice.

-O-

The hotel where the gala was being held at was fully decked out for the holiday. White lights twinkled around the columns that surrounded the ballroom. Silver streamers hung from the ceiling and decorated the tables that filled the room. Everyone was dressed for the occasion, including Isabel.

When Oliver had invited Isabel to dinner the day before she had been pleasantly surprised agreeing instantly. At dinner they discussed enjoying spending time together over the last month. Oliver admitted to being interested in seeing how things worked between them. Isabel was willing as long as they took things at a slow pace. That was fine with Oliver since he was trying to be better about jumping into relationships. By the end of the evening he'd invited Isabel to be his plus one at the gala, and she'd accepted.

Oliver made a point of being on time, and was stunned by the provocative dress Isabel had chosen for the evening. Every inch of the red dress seemed designed to catch your eye. She had definitely caught Oliver's eye. Oliver couldn't help the boost of pride at having her on his arm.

Oliver's eyes scanned the room as they entered looking for Tommy or Laurel. He spotted them toward the head of the room and lead Isabel in that direction. As beautiful as Isabel was she didn't hold a candle to Laurel who glowed brightly from her position at Tommy's side. Her blue dress showing off her growing baby bump and Oliver couldn't help but smile.

He'd never been quite so happy for his best friend.

"Hey Tommy," Oliver greeted as they got closer, Tommy nodding in his direction as his attention turned to Laurel. "Laurel, you look especially radiant tonight." Laurel turned and grinned.  
"Hey now, turn the charm down," Tommy said chuckling, wrapping his arm tighter around his wife. His eyes moving to Isabel on Oliver's arm. "Isabel, it's wonderful to see you again. I wasn't aware that Stellmoor was going to send representation here tonight."

"Nice to see you again as well Tommy. Originally they weren't, I believe my boss sent over a donation. I'm here because Ollie invited me," Isabel replied, squeezing his bicep and Oliver turned to smile.

"Well I'm glad you could come," Laurel said cutting in.

"So am I," Isabel stated simply and smiled as her eyes moved to Laurel's middle. "Laurel, I do believe that you've popped more just since Christmas Eve."

"I know it's insane," Laurel's fingers fretted over her abdomen as she chuckled nervously. "I almost didn't fit into this dress, thankfully it's the last big thing we have for a few months. I'm a little worried about what I'll have to wear as I get further along."

"If you need a stylist let me know. My sister had a wonderful woman that dressed her through her entire pregnancy," Isabel said and Laurel smiled warmly at her.

"Thank you Isabel, I really appreciate that. I have a stylist but she's never dressed a pregnant woman before. I may need your contact," Laurel grinned allowing her eyes to then shift to Oliver. The two men having remained quiet. "Ollie, you're looking sharp tonight."

"Thank you Laurel."

"He cleans up nice sometimes," Tommy said with a shrug and Oliver just shook his head.

He looked around the room, trying not to focus on the real reason he felt the need to look. There were quite a few of the Starling City upper crust milling around talking to each other waiting for the evening's excitement to begin. Laurel's law firm was looking to raise funds for their free legal aid division. It was a wonderful cause and he was glad that he'd been able to help out.

"It looks like a pretty good turn out," Oliver stated as his eyes finished their circuit and met Laurel's.

"It is a great turn out, my boss is over joyed. We just saw him before you arrived. Ollie, your parents were so generous. I was sorry to hear they couldn't attend," Laurel answered, looking distractedly around the room. Oliver wondered if she was waiting for the same person he was.

"I wouldn't be, sorry that is. By now they are well on their way to enjoying some alone time. Trust me they are not missing this," Oliver said and Tommy laughed.

"It's good to know that even at their age they still enjoy their own company," Tommy said leaning in to brush a simple kiss against Laurel's cheek. Her lips lifted in an indulgent smile and she nodded.

"I wonder if that will be us in the future…"

"Of course! Only we will be worse and make our four children sick to death of us," Tommy replied. Laurel smacked his shoulder. Oliver laughed as Isabel giggled.

"What will be the death of you?"

Felicity's sudden appearance had them all turning. Laurel's audible gasp coincided with his own mental one. The woman knew how to wear a dress. She stood wearing a lovely champagne lace gown. It hugged her every curve and pooled around her feet, the lace fanning out past whatever the under part was made of. Her hair was pulled up and to the left side where curls cascaded over her shoulder.

Tommy was the first to snap out of it. "Felicity, we've been waiting for you. Well Laurel has been."

"I had a small mishap with my driver thinking it was going to be at the law firm, then we got the address to the wrong hotel and I remembered at the last moment the correct one. The driver was beside himself with worry, thinking I would give him a bad review to his boss. So I had to talk him down. He was so adorable, just a young kid I couldn't leave him that way," Felicity rambled in a quick breath. Her skin flushing as she told her story. Oliver found himself smiling. Felicity's eyes roamed over the group before stopping on Laurel. "Oh my goodness Laurel, look at you!"

The women started to go on about Laurel and how she was feeling. Oliver checked out mentally, answering small questions from Tommy about the upcoming year and a few sporting events he was hoping to attend. While Tommy went on, Oliver had to remind himself periodically that he was there with Isabel. He couldn't keep his head off Felicity. The dress she was wearing was so distracting. He thought the front was lovely, then she turned and he knew that she couldn't be wearing anything underneath. He wasn't the only one to notice either.

Soon the gala got into full swing making the small group split up. Felicity had come alone and ended up at a table far across the room from him. He told himself it was for the best. He had Isabel with him and he needed to pay attention to her. Isabel for her part was just like she'd been at the Christmas party.

"You keep looking over at her," Isabel whispered into his ear as dinner was placed in front of them. Oliver paused briefly before turning to look at her. Her smile eased the sudden revolt in his stomach.

"Who exactly is it you think I keep looking at?" Oliver asked back, picking up his fork.

"I'm not going to say it, Ollie. You know who I'm talking about. I guess my main question is why aren't you here with her?" Isabel asked, leveling him with a no nonsense look. She didn't look angry though, just seemed curious.

"Because I'm here with you." Oliver answered truthfully.

"I know that, and I'm forever grateful for that. But… the two of you keep passing glances at each other. I can't help but wonder if there isn't something going on there," Isabel said before taking a bite of her chicken. Her eyes didn't leave him.

"I promise there is nothing going on there. She's the best friend of my best friend's wife. We haven't had the best track record since we met. In fact that day you met her before the Christmas party we had gotten together to apologize for all the fighting. So I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate things with her. Especially after that mistletoe kiss," Oliver stated, taking a bite of his own food.

Isabel studied him as she finished chewing her bite. She swallowed and smirked at him. "Ah, that makes some sense. I can see how that kiss could complicate things. But she seems genuinely okay about it. Besides who hasn't shared a kiss like that before."

"Exactly, it was just a kiss under the mistletoe," Oliver said with a smile. "I'm glad you understood that. A lot of other women would have been offended."

"Of course, for what it's worth I'm not like most women," Isabel said and returned to her food.

"I know, and I'm so grateful for that," Oliver said, glad that she had agreed to come with him. Grateful that she was mature and sure of herself.

Isabel speared a piece of chicken, Oliver watched its trek from her plate through the air to where it stopped before it reached her lips. His eyes flickered to hers in question, she smirked. "Just so you know, I still think that there is more there than just you two trying to navigate around each other."

Oliver swallowed hard around the lump of food in his throat. His eyes cut across the room to where Felicity was laughing. A man who looked familiar but that Oliver couldn't place was sitting next to her. He made some gesture and Felicity laughed harder. It reminded him of the wedding and just reaffirmed why he needed to keep his distance.

"Nothing can happen there Isabel. Our best friends are more important, if it went bad then it would make everything awkward. Nothing good could come from that," Oliver stated firmly, his eyes meeting hers.

"Okay," Isabel answered softly, her hand slipping over his. "I'll trust you."

"Thank you. Besides Isabel, I am more interested in seeing where things can go for us," Oliver said, turning his hand to lace his fingers with hers.

"Me too," Isabel said back, giving his fingers a simple squeeze before they returned to their food.

-O-

Oliver did well after his and Isabel's talk. He stopped trying to find Felicity and enjoyed his time with Isabel. Isabel drew him out onto the dance floor for a dance. It was enjoyable and fun. It felt good to just let go and enjoy getting to know about someone else. They shared a New Year kiss after the countdown then decided it was time to call it a night.

As the gala came to a close they ran into Tommy and Laurel as they were leaving.

"Ollie, Isabel, are you guys leaving?" Laurel asked reaching out to give Ollie a hug.

Oliver hugged her back, pulling back to give Tommy a quick hug and shoulder pat. "Yeah, it was a lot of fun but it's time to head on home. I have to head to Central City later today."

"Oh I didn't know you were going too!" Isabel said happily.

"Isn't that a happy coincidence!" Laurel said with a smile.

"Yeah I'm going on business. Then my father wants me to take a small vacation. I've decided that I should take his advice more," Oliver said, pulling Isabel closer to his side.

"Well I'm glad for that," Tommy stated leveling him with a knowing look. "For so long you used to buck any advice he gave you. It's good to see you growing up."

"Thanks for that Tommy," Oliver said shaking his head.

"Well you guys have a Happy New Year!" Laurel said grinning between the two of them.

"You too," Oliver and Isabel said in unison and everyone chuckled.

"If you see Felicity, wish her a happy new year for me," Oliver said to Laurel as he gave her one more hug.

"I will," Laurel replied. "It's nice that the two of you are getting along now." Oliver gave a nod but didn't say anything more before turning to his best friend.

"Happy New Year bro," Tommy said as he gave him a hand shake.

"You too. Now get your lovely wife home and off her feet," Oliver instructed and took Isabel's arm again as they left.

They hadn't made it to the car before running into Felicity. She was waiting for her driver on the curb. She waved them over grinning from ear to ear.

"Happy New Year you guys!" she almost yelled as they approached. Oliver could see the flush to her skin and realized she may have indulged a bit in the champagne they were passing around to bring in the new year.

"Happy New Year Felicity," Isabel replied as they stopped in front of her.

"Oh my this was the funnest gala, I didn't think I'd have fun but I really did," Felicity said nodding and touched his elbow. "Ol'ver we need to plan a baby shower."

"A baby shower?"

"Yes, for Laurel and Tommy of course. Best friends should do that," she nodded.

"Okay," Oliver said doubtfully. "I could see you planning one for Laurel but I don't think Tommy-"

"But we should include him. It's not like only Laurel gets the baby. No worries I'll email you and we can discuss details. You won't mind right? Is'bel? Just friends making plans for a baby shower? That's not weird right?" Felicity stumbled and Oliver caught her, he looked past her shoulder and noticed a car pull up.

"No not weird. I think it would be delightful! Ollie, you really should do that. Throw a shower for Laurel and Tommy. But I think you should save planning for another day, Felicity," Isabel said with a smile as a younger man who must have been Felicity's driver approached.

"Oh you're so sweet. Yes another time. It was good to see you two, Ol'ver Is'bel, Happy New Year! Have fun," Felicity said noticing her driver standing there. "Hi Cory, Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year mam, here let me help you to the car," the young man said and Felicity nodded.

"Sounds good. Goodnight, or … good morning!" Felicity waved as she was tucked into the back of the car.

"Wow," Oliver said as he lead Isabel toward his car. Isabel looped her arm through his. "She is drunk."

"You should probably message Laurel about that," Isabel said.

"I will," Oliver answered back holding the door open for her and Isabel slid into the seat.

Oliver watched as the car that Felicity got into turned out of the hotel's round drive and sent Laurel a quick text to let her know the state that Felicity seemed to be in. Then put the whole thing out of his mind. It was a new year and he was determined to start it on the right foot.


	7. Felicity

Felicity tied the last god awful green ribbon around a little satchel of buttermint candies. She was still harboring a little hate toward Laurel. Felicity’s living room was covered in pastel green and yellow. Because of her best friend’s decision to keep the baby’s sex a surprise, they had to do everything in gender neutral colors.

Who did that anymore? Laurel of course!

Felicity rolled her eyes as dropped the little bundle of candies into a box full of similar bundles. Felicity sighed as she looked at them. At least that was the last one now everything was ready to go to the Queen mansion.

Felicity smiled thinking about the preparations going on there. She wondered if Oliver and Thea were finished yet. She was finally able to think about Oliver without her heart going on like a humming bird’s wings. For months after the Christmas party kiss her heart would just go haywire anytime she thought about or saw him. God she'd had enough fodder from that one moment to litter her dreams for weeks afterward. She could perfectly recall how warm his body was as they pressed together, their lips just briefly touching. For days she swore she could still feel the way his hand had gripped her elbow.

Felicity had just barely managed to pull herself together in the bathroom the night of the party in order to get through the rest of the evening. She hadn't expected how viscerally her body would respond to Oliver at just one kiss. Of course now when she thought of it, it made sense. The way the two of them could fight against each other so passionately. A year of knowing him and he was still the most irritating man she’d ever met, though he’d endeared himself. But of course there was this little spark between them, so irritating that it had to be with someone so untouchable.

And boy was Oliver untouchable. Not only was he Tommy’s best friend but Oliver was now her boss since she had taken the job to help build the Applied Sciences mainframe. There was no way she could cross that barrier. Then there was his relationship with Isabel Rochev.

The first she saw them together as a couple had been at the gala, it was different than at the Christmas party. The way Isabel stood next to him was like she just belonged there, and Oliver’s hand low on Isabel’s hip seemed more than just friendly. Felicity hadn't been prepared for the snap of jealousy that ran through her at seeing them that way.

Felicity stomped it down quickly though. There was no reason for it other than the memory of the kiss they shared. That was the only rational reason. Even as her heart flew at seeing him again, she knew it was an over reaction to the kiss. It had been one sided, the way he’d pulled back and stated simply ‘It’s tradition’ it was apparent he couldn’t have had remotely the same reaction as she had. Seeing him with Isabel at the gala confirmed it.

Oliver and Isabel aside that evening had been a wonderful one. She’d gone alone because she hadn’t had a chance to set up any form of a date, she was so busy with working on year end projects she’d forgot. But it didn’t matter. She’d managed to run into a kindred spirit, Ray from the awful dance lessons. Felicity didn’t think she’d ever see him again, especially after stepping on his toes. Running into him again though didn’t surprise her nearly as much as learning exactly who he was.

Ray was Ray Palmer of Palmer Technologies, a company that was making highly advanced smart wearables. Felicity had read an article about how they’d started dabbling in high tech gear for military use. His company was growing in popularity at an amazing rate. Felicity attributed it to Ray and his charismatic enthusiasm for helping people no matter their walk in life.

Felicity really enjoyed their brief time together until he was called away unexpectedly, but not before giving her his card this time. They’d been on three dates in the five months since the gala. Felicity was reduced to only seeing him when he was in Starling for business, since he was based in Ivy Town on the opposite coast. It wasn’t serious yet but she was hopeful and looked forward to seeing him in the next few days.

Felicity heard her phone chime and hurried across her living room, taking care to not tip over a few of the boxes that held items for the baby shower. She stepped over a box of center pieces as she grabbed at her phone. It was a text from Oliver, followed by a quick succession of more texts. Felicity rolled her eyes.

****_Thea said you weren’t there yet!_  
Guests are due in 45 mins, what are you doing?  
Where are you! 

Felicity sent back a quick text that she was loading her car, and asking him where he was. If Thea was messaging him about the mansion then where exactly was he at? She really didn’t want to have to worry about that. Everything with the planning had gone so well.

Felicity had thought they would just rent a hall or something but Oliver had talked his parents into using their back yard and gardens for the lunch slash surprise baby shower. Of course the Queen’s looked at Tommy as one of their own and insisted they help fund the shower. Working so closely with Oliver allowed her to learn more about the Queens and why they’d taken Tommy in. The Merlyn’s had been close family friends, then when the boys were ten they’d planned a sailing trip but Tommy requested staying back with Oliver to spend the summer. Rebecca and Malcolm never returned. It explained why Oliver was so important to Tommy, they were brothers more than friends.

It also explained why it was so easy to convince him to help throw a baby shower for their friends. At first he’d been reluctant but then something had changed and all of a sudden he was messaging her at all hours, wondering if they should have games, what food they should serve. It was irritating and adorable.

Felicity started to stack a couple of the boxes and grabbed her purse. She’d have to hustle if she wanted to get there and have time to set up decorations before guests started filing in. They wanted it all set for when Tommy and Laurel showed up for lunch. Her phone chirped and she set down the stack to look at it.

**_You aren’t loading your car._ **

**Well how do you know that?** She sent back in a huff and stared at her phone.

Felicity startled as her doorbell rang. Moving to it she peeked out the peep hole. Shaking her head she unlocked and swung it open wide.

“What are you doing it? I thought you were supposed to be helping Thea get the tables and chairs all set up!”

“That's done. We were waiting on you Miss Slowpoke, so I came to help motivate you,” Oliver said with a smirk, Felicity glared back at him and he chuckled. “Not really I thought you may need some help,” Oliver looked past her into her living room. “Which it appears I was right. How exactly were you going to fit all that stuff in your mini?”

“Um…” Felicity looked around her and realized there were quite a few more boxes than she planned. The six in her living room plus the boxed gift that currently sat in her passenger seat couldn’t possibly fit in her little car. She bit her lip and fretted over how they'd get the stuff to the mansion now.

Felicity shifted her gaze back to Oliver and found him holding a small bundle of suspiciously familiar flowers. Felicity felt the scowl forming and made to comment.

Oliver lifted his other hand in surrender and was talking before her, “Hey don’t kill me. These are actual flowers I brought with me. Honest!”

Felicity stared at him, puzzled by why he would bring her flowers. “Hmm?”

A wicked smirk grew on his lips as he said, “I didn’t want to miss the chance to tease you. The rest of the day we’ll have to behave and play nice. Seeing your face now when you thought I’d picked your flowers again was priceless.”

“Queen, I swear…” Felicity huffed and smacked his bicep.

“Before you get all puffy, what can I grab first? It’s a twenty minute drive to the mansion,” he said shifting past her as she took a step back letting him in.

“How are you going to help with those if you have your bike?” Felicity asked taking the flowers from him and stepping into her kitchen. “I brought my truck,” she heard him answer from the other room. She slipped the flowers into an empty vase on the counter and filled it with water. She returned in time to see him picking up the boxes she had previously. She paused mesmerized by the look of his ass in those jeans.

Oliver cleared his throat, Felicity jolted eyes snapping up as he turned and pointed at the other three boxes waiting on the floor. “Are those going too?”

“Uh… Yes, I just… I can help too,” she finished lamely. Relieved he didn't seem to know she'd been staring at his butt. He was untouchable, but it would be criminal if she couldn't enjoy the view.

“Why don’t you just pile them on and we can get out of here. Save the argument for another day?” Oliver winked and Felicity just sighed. She lifted two of the boxes and piled them on top of the others he carried and tucked the other under her arm. Oliver eyed her, one eyebrow lifting in question.

“I can carry this one He-Man!” Felicity sassed back, then waved her hand toward the door. “Lead on.”

Oliver chuckled and lead the way out of Felicity’s town home. She pulled the door shut and locked it. Once outside she scanned the curb for his truck. A large deep green monstrosity sat behind her little red mini. Oliver headed straight for it. She held in her snide comment about him possibly compensating for something. She didn’t need to start anything today.

“Are you excited to see Laurel’s surprise over the party you’ve thrown her?” Oliver asked as he slid the boxes carefully into the bed of his truck, taking the one she carried and placing it in before slamming the tailgate shut.

“Don’t you mean the party that **we** are throwing for her?” Felicity asked and Oliver just shrugged. “Anyways, at this point I’m just hoping it doesn’t send her into labor so she can enjoy it. She’s been wound so tight lately. There’s only a month left.”

“I know it’s all Tommy keeps talking about. He’s been obsessing about the crib not being together. That they haven’t agreed on a paint color for the nursery because they decided not to find out the sex.”

“You mean Laurel decided and Tommy didn’t get a vote,” Felicity corrected, knowing that conversation well.

She’d been at dinner the night before the ultrasound to witness Laurel’s one sided obstinate decision. Totally overriding all of Tommy’s wishes on the whole thing. Felicity may have been on Tommy’s side. She wanted to know too. Damn Laurel’s stubborn streak! Since she got pregnant it had grown wider than her own and Felicity wasn’t handling it very well.

“Right. Anyway, I didn’t think things would change quite this quickly. The baby isn’t even here yet and it’s all he talks about,” Oliver rubbed a hand over his face as he walked toward the front of his truck.

“I’m excited for them, but I miss just being able to talk about normal things,” Felicity answered. It wasn’t that she was annoyed with Laurel, or that she felt her friendship was hurting. She had really just felt the shift and she would be lying if she didn’t worry about how things would change even more once the baby arrived.

“Exactly,” Oliver opened his door and started to climb into the cab of the truck. He rolled his hand at the wrist and did a fist pump. “Let’s roll!”

“You’re such a dork,” Felicity said shaking her head walking toward her own car.

“But you love me,” Oliver drew out and laughed, starting his truck.

The loud rumble cutting off the sound of Felicity’s snort. Sure she loved him, only as far as she could throw him. Which she imagined wouldn’t be very far. He was a big guy!

\---F---

“Thank you Ollie and Felicity!!” Laurel gushed at the end of the party. The last guest just leaving through the glass patio doors. A pile of gifts sitting around Laurel as she sat on a bench in the Queen’s gardens. She rubbed over the large expanse of her belly.

Felicity was exhausted, the whole party taking a million times longer than she would have guessed. But she mustered up a smile as she dropped heavily into a chair near her friend. “You’re very welcome sweetie. Only the best for my bestie!”

“I can't believe you two planned all this! The decorations were wonderful, and the food. Oh goodness, if there is any extra Ollie, have Raisa pack them up and send them with me and Tommy!” Laurel exclaimed as Tommy smiled rubbing her shoulders.

“You got it,” Oliver said as he slumped down into one of the chairs at an empty table. He looked every bit as exhausted as she felt.

Tommy sighed from beside Laurel, looking at all the gifts. “I don’t know if we are going to have room for all of this stuff. Or even how we'll get them all home.”

“Some of it has to go back, obviously, we already have a couple of the things people gifted us,” Laurel commented, eyes shifting to Felicity, an irritated look on her face. “If you would have told me I could have created a registry. Well, I mean I did create a registry but I could have told you about it!”

“I’ll help return the doubles. It was meant to be a surprise and they all just wanted to dote on you,” Felicity stared warily at Laurel. Almost as suddenly as the irritated tone arrived, Laurel rubbed her back and sighed, her face softening.

“I’m sorry, I know. Thank you again,” Laurel said softly. “There were so many people.”

“Yeah Moira sent us the list, and Felicity knew quite a few of the others,” Oliver offered as a way of answer. “Everyone was excited for a new little Merlyn.”

“I saw a gift from Isabel, but she wasn't here,” Laurel observed aloud. “I know she’s your girlfriend, but she didn't have to send a gift.”

Felicity turned to look back at Oliver just as he shrugged. She'd wondered herself where Isabel was, she'd been one of the people to push Oliver into helping with the shower. She'd even personally called Felicity to RSVP for it. She wasn't going to ask Oliver though. It wasn't any of her business, but if he was going to explain she’d listen.

“She had planned to come. Something came up unexpectedly in Central City,” Oliver said on a sigh before forcing a smile. “I'll tell her you missed her.”

“Tell her I loved the photo album. I can't wait to fill it with pictures,” Laurel smiled as her hand rubbed over her belly.

“I heard Ray is coming into town tomorrow,” Tommy said, Felicity's eyes moving to him as he smirked at her. “Is it just business this time?”

“How would you even…” Felicity shook her head fighting off a blush. “It's to come check on a prototype and to visit me, I guess.”

“Oh that's wonderful Felicity, hasn't it been about a month since he was here last?” Laurel asked. Oliver's head turned in Felicity's direction, a crease in his brow.

“Ray?” He asked.

“Yeah Felicity is dating Ray Palmer of Palmer Tech,” Tommy chimed in helpfully. “She met him during the dance lessons before the wedding, then again at the New Year gala. Seems Laurel and I are pretty good match makers!” Laurel elbowed him. “Ouch.”

Felicity laughed nervously and shot Tommy a look as Laurel laughed. “We aren't dating, not really. I mean we’ve been on dates, just we can’t really be dating. It's complicated because he lives in Ivy Town. Not that I wouldn’t date someone long distance, it just wouldn’t...nevermind.”

“Well it's definitely a better match than you and Ollie, it makes more sense both of you are total nerds,” Laurel giggled and then squeaked in pain. “Ouch!”

“You okay?” Tommy fretted and Laurel patted at his hand.

“I'm just fine,” Laurel sighed and shifted. “Baby boy just shifted.”

“So it's a boy today?” Felicity asked grateful for the shift in attention off of her. Anything to not talk about her relationship or whatever it was.

“Has to be, since he’s causing me such a pain in the ass,” Laurel quipped and they all laughed. “I dunno just feels like a boy today.”

Oliver stood, stretching. “Tommy, how about I help get this stuff loaded to your place? We can load it into the back of my truck.”

“Sounds like a solid plan,” Tommy stood and leaned to kiss Laurel on the forehead. “I'll be right back, you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, go!” Laurel shooed him away.

The two left, hauling as many bags as they could to make the first run to Oliver's truck. Felicity started to pile the boxes into neat little stacks as Laurel propped her feet on the chair Felicity had just vacated. Felicity smiled looking at her friend.

Laurel really was beautiful. She wondered idly what she would look like if she ever had a child. It was something she often dreamed of lately. Watching Laurel grow and then feeling the baby shift beneath the layers of skin and muscle was something otherworldly.

Felicity turned back to stacking boxes. The only downer about Laurel having a baby was Felicity could see it changing their friendship slowly every day. Laurel was going to be a mom and Felicity wasn't sure how she'd fit into their new life. Between work and juggling a new baby would she be too busy to sit around and talk about Felicity’s boring life?

“You're thinking loud again,” Laurel said, drawing Felicity’s attention, her head was tipped back against the back of the bench she was sitting on, eyes closed.

“Sorry,” Felicity mumbled, picking up a package of diapers and a bottle set, slipping them into a bag.

“What's up?” Laurel asked patting the seat next to her.

“Oh nothing, it’s so not important. I don’t think I’ve seen you look so beautiful by the way!” Felicity finished as she walked over and took Tommy's seat on the bench. She leaned her head next to Laurel's before slipping her hand over Laurel’s baby bump, feeling the baby shift under her hand and push back. Felicity would be forever grateful for how open Laurel was to her touching her. They shared so many things she was glad this was just another one of those things. One day maybe their roles would be reversed.

“You're very sweet Felicity, but a bad liar.”

Felicity sighed, “ Yeah yeah. I know. I'm just being silly. Worrying about things I shouldn't.”

“I worry too you know,” Laurel confessed softly.

Felicity hated the idea of Laurel doubting or worrying about how she would be as a mom. She'd helped raise Sara and even Felicity looked to her for guidance. If anyone was going to be a good mom it was Laurel. “Laurel, you shouldn't worry about being a good mom.”

“That's not what I worry about. I worry about making you feel left out. It's been you and me against the world forever, I don't know what I would do without you Felicity,” Laurel said tearfully.

“Me either Laurel, of course you'd know where my head was at. I'd be so lost without you!” Felicity said wiping her own tears and hugged Laurel. She shouldn't have doubted her friend. Laurel always had that innate sense about her, knowing exactly what was bothering Felicity without her having to say anything. Of course she would worry about how things would go too.

Felicity buried her face in Laurel’s neck. “I love you Laurel!”

“I love you too Felicity!” Laurel said in return, giving Felicity a tight squeeze.

“Uh oh! Tommy, you better watch out. Looks like Smoak is moving in on your wife,” Oliver said alerting the girls to the guys return. Felicity pulled her face up to stick her tongue out at Oliver. He winked.

Laurel snorted as they untangled from each other, “He wishes!”

“That isn't gonna happen, even if it did they'd never tell me about it,” Tommy said with a shrug of his shoulders heading for another armload of gifts. Back when Tommy and Laurel were just dating he’d brought up the question if they’d ever been together. ‘Hey it was college!’ was his excuse. Laurel and Felicity hadn’t let him off the hook over it, often teasing him over it. But Oliver hadn’t been privy to that conversation. All of a sudden Felicity thought it would be fun to mess with both of them.

“Who says it hasn't happened?” Felicity replied coyly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, eyeing Oliver when he looked in her direction.

“Yeah, who says?” Laurel chimed in as well, shrugging as if it was no big deal. Apparently she thought it would be fun too.

Both men's jaws dropped open in surprise, or awe. Felicity couldn’t be sure which, both equally funny.

Her and Laurel fell into a fit of giggles as the guys looked on befuddled. Felicity's worries over her and Laurel’s friendship pushed far away into the back of her mind. They could survive anything.

\----F----

Three days later Felicity was in a rush to meet Ray for dinner. She could curse or throw something at Oliver. She had made one mention of a new program she was looking at for the mainframe on the Applied Sciences project and he insisted on a video conference. He called an hour before she was due to leave work to head home and change. Of course she ended up sucked into into a two and a half hour video conference with Alan Hobbs in which she explained the usefulness of the program she was hoping to use.

Of course being so wonderful, Ray had understood when she sent him a frantic text that she would be late and explained why. Once the conference ended there was no way she was going home to change first. Even without that trip, thanks to Oliver, she was a good forty five minutes late for her date.

“Felicity! You made it,” Ray exclaimed drawing Felicity’s attention as the host led her to their table. He stood from his chair impeccably dressed in a wonderful navy suit with red tie. Felicity felt out of place in her work attire.

“I'm so sorry I'm so late,” she apologized as Ray pulled her into a brief hug. He held her chair for her as she sat down.

“I already told you I understood, I’m just glad you’re here now!” Ray said, returning to his own seat. “I hope you don’t mind I took the opportunity to go ahead and order the special. It’s a salmon dish and I remembered you liked salmon.”

Felicity smiled widely at Ray, pulling the side of her lip between her teeth. He was too sweet. “Of course that’s fine. Just no-”

“Peanuts, I remember, you’re allergic!” Ray finished for her, reaching across the table to lace his fingers with hers.

“Yes, thank you for remembering,” Felicity replied, giving his fingers a quick squeeze.

Despite Felicity’s late entrance things really got better from there. They discussed projects that he was working on. The prototype he’d come to look at was a glove that would give an amputee the ability to tie his own shoes again, among other things. Much better than a simple grasping motion that was the current prosthetic.

Just as their dessert was being brought to the table they were joined by the flustered looking host.

“Can we help you miss?” Ray asked once the waiter moved away from the table.

“Miss Smoak?” the host asked as she fidgeted in her spot.

“Yes?” Felicity asked, feeling a knot of tension grow in her stomach.

“There is a phone call for you ma’am, the caller said that it was urgent.”

Felicity stood from her chair. “Where?”

“I’ll take you,” the girl said, starting away from the table.

“I’ll be right back,” Felicity said to Ray and he nodded. She leaned down and grabbed her purse, pulling her silent phone from it. As she followed the hostess she unlocked her phone and felt an immense amount of dread come over her. She had fifteen missed calls, four from Oliver, six from Tommy, and five from Laurel. It was one of three people on the phone.

“Here you go miss,” the host said, handing Felicity the phone from behind the podium.

“Hello?” Felicity asked into the phone. Already typing out a text to Oliver.

_“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner. But I need you,”_ Laurel’s desperate voice came broken through the phone. _“The baby is coming!_ ”

“Oh my goodness. Okay? Okay, are you at the hospital?” Felicity asked needing to know where she was heading.

_“Yes, please hurry. I thought I could do it with just Tommy and the doctor but I can’t, and he’s going to be four weeks early. I’m scared, please Felicity. I need you here with me!”_ Laurel sobbed into the phone before gasping into a groan. Felicity heard some shuffling. A mumbling of voices through the line.

_“Felicity?”_ It was Tommy’s stressed voice through the line that caused Felicity’s panic to rise.

“Yes, it’s me! Is she okay? What happened?” Felicity asked in a rush into the phone.

_“Just another contraction, she has to focus.”_

“Oh good, okay,” Felicity answered sudden relief flooding her. She’d managed to attend a couple of the Lamaze classes with Laurel so she’d know what to expect. Contractions were good, necessary but painful. “I’m going to head there in just a moment. I promise.”

_“Good. The doctor says it could be soon,”_ Tommy stated in a rush into the phone. Laurel’s cries heard clearly through the phone line in the background.

“Tell her I’m on my way! See you soon!” Felicity stated firmly before hanging up the phone and handing it back to the hostess. “I have to go.”

Felicity rushed back to the table. Ray was already standing, their desserts packed into little clear plastic containers. A signed receipt laid on the table. Felicity couldn’t let herself be bothered with the fact that he’d paid for everything.

“I’m so sorry Ray, first I was late and now my best friend in the whole world has gone into labor with her first baby,” Felicity explained, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair. “So I have to go! I have to be there for her.”

“Completely understandable. I was getting to the tired part of my day anyways,” Ray replied with a slow shrug of his shoulders. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head as he pulled her in for a hug. “Tell the happy couple congrats for me.”

Felicity went up onto her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Ray’s lips. “Mmm… Thank you for being so understanding! I’ll call you later, I swear.”

Before Ray could respond Felicity picked her purse back up off her chair and hurried out of the restaurant. Excitement and nervous energy carried her all the way to her car. She was about to become a Godmother.

\---F---

“Come on Laurel, one more big push,” the doctor said from her position between Laurel’s spread knees.

Felicity helped hold one of Laurel’s knees as she curled forward, Tommy to her right side, kissed Laurel’s sweaty brow. Felicity watched in awe as Laurel concentrated on the push. She had never seen anything so terrifying and amazing in her life.

Laurel grunted through the push, falling back as the first sounds of whimpers filled the air. They quickly turned to sharp cries that had Felicity turning to look. A dark tuft of curls covered the baby’s head. Little hands waved about, fingers seeking.

“It’s a girl!” Tommy whispered in awe as they laid the screaming infant on Laurel’s chest. “I was right!”

Laurel cried through a chuckle, tipping her head down to kiss the dark curls that the baby obviously got from her father. “I guess so.”

“What’s her name?” Felicity asked, wiping tears away from her eyes.

“Olivia Megan,” Tommy answered kissing the top of his daughter’s head. Her cries quieting, her fingers grasping tightly to strands of Laurel’s hair and the gown they’d laid her on.

“Alright mommy, we need to get her weight,” the nurse said as she started to lift the baby from Laurel’s chest.

“Is everything okay?” Laurel asked as they moved little Olivia over to the scale. The baby starting to scream again, sucking in large amounts of air to make the sound a piercing cry. Felicity flinched.

“She’s just fine, even for a few weeks early,” the doctor said. “See look, six pounds seven ounces of wonderful. Congratulations Laurel, she’s beautiful!”

“Thank you,” Laurel said through her tears. Tommy leaned to kiss her, whispering something to her as he wiped away Laurel’s tears.

Felicity stepped away to take a pictures of the little one. She sent it off to Oliver with stats. She knew he was waiting anxiously in the waiting room with Thea and Isabel. The baby squirmed through the nurse wiping her down, tucking her bum into a diaper as she kicked her little legs. She fussed as the nurse measured her length. Nineteen whole inches. She screamed and swatted at the little knit hat the nurse placed on her head, covering her curls.

The nurse swaddled the baby while Felicity watched in awe. What had been a wriggling fussing baby was now a tightly bound bundle of soft breathing coos. How did they do that?

“Mom, is it alright if auntie holds her niece?” the nurse asked looking in Laurel’s direction.

“Of course!”

“Oh I couldn’t,” Felicity said, shaking her head.

“Of course you can dear,” the nurse said softly, encouraging Felicity to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

Felicity sat, opening her arms as the nurse laid the bundle into the crook of her elbow. The nurse stepped away as Felicity looked down at her new goddaughter. Blue sleepy eyes blinked up at her, and Felicity fell madly in love with the little one in her arms.

“Hello Olivia Megan Merlyn, I’m your auntie Felicity. I love you very much.”


	8. Oliver

"Laurel is never going to believe we painted this room ourselves," Oliver said as he moved a dresser into place against the wall.

The wall was painted in varying sized stripes of pink and purple, the adjoining walls were a lighter shade of purple. The painters had left several hours before but the smell still hung heavily in the air. The windows were thrown open, in an attempt to rid the room of the smell of paint.

Oliver turned, leaning against the dresser, and watched as his best friend struggled to put together his newborn daughter's crib. Olivia Megan Merlyn had decided to grace them with her presence four whole weeks earlier than expected. Resulting in a scramble to finish her room. It was kind of amazing the effect the pint sized being had on all of them.

Oliver had held her the night she was born, her weight barely registering in his arms. A very quiet part of him, buried deep down, was excited at the prospect of seeing how she would work into their lives. Three days later and he had found himself at the hospital to get a peek at his goddaughter. It seemed he wasn't the only one who had needed to visit.

He'd walked into the room to see Felicity holding Olivia's small swaddled form while Laurel sat in the bed filling out paperwork. She was swaying back and forth humming a soft lullaby. The view tugged at something deep inside of him. Before he could contemplate what though, Sara was bounding into the room waking up the sleeping baby and breaking the tranquil vision in front of him.

Tommy followed shortly after and talked Oliver and Felicity into heading back to his house to help him with Olivia's room before they were released from the hospital. Before Oliver even realized what he was doing he'd agreed. The thought 'anything for little Livi' crossed his mind as he headed out to his car. Even though he didn't know anything about putting baby furniture together.

"Well if she hadn't decided that the focal wall needed to be a pink and purple plaid type pattern, then I could have painted it myself. But there wasn't enough time for that," Tommy seethed as he tightened a bolt, swearing as the allen wrench once again popped off the head. "I should have paid someone to put this damn crib together too! Who knew you needed an engineering degree to put together baby furniture."

"Actually you don't…" Felicity said entering the room, she carried a basket with pink and purple linens inside it. Oliver smiled seeing her in such a domestic state. She set it down in the rocking chair before moving over to look at the crib. "Need a degree that is. But you probably shouldn't have invited this guy to help you."

Oliver resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "And you're here because..."

Felicity stuck her tongue out at Oliver. "Someone needed to wash the linens."

"It's really amazing how unhelpful the two of you have been with the crib," he pushed the crib into the alcove where Laurel had mentioned she thought would look best. He stood back and brushed his hands on his jeans. "Well I think that's it!"

"Looks good brother," Oliver said but noticed that something was missing. "But isn't there supposed to be a mattress?"

"Yeah, it's in the garage, I haven't brought it up yet. Felicity, are you going to stick around to make the bed up?" Tommy asked as he knelt down to throw his tools back into his bag.

"Actually, I have to meet Ray in about an hour and I still have to run by my office," Felicity explained, moving back toward the basket full of baby linens. "Why don't you have Queen make the bed?"

"Because I don't know the first thing about making up a baby's bed," Oliver said flatly.

"I doubt Oliver knows how to make up any kind of bed," Tommy smirked at Oliver as he stood back up. "I'm pretty sure he only knows how to mess them up."

"Thanks for that Tommy," he said with a shake of his head, watching as Felicity smiled and bit her lip. "For the record I do know how to make a bed. Messing them up is just more fun."

Felicity snorted and looked away. Oliver watched as her skin slowly turned pink at her cheeks and lower down her neck. It amazed him how simple little comments like that could make her flush over in a beautiful blush. Hmm wonder how far down that- Oliver stopped his thought, shaking his head and looked away.

Tommy chuckled and shook his head, "Anyhow… I'd really owe you one if you stuck around just long enough to make her bed for me."

"Why are you even worried about it? Livie is going to end up in your room. I just finished putting fresh sheets on the bassinet in your room for that reason," Felicity stated waving in that direction.

"Wait, what? But I-" Tommy stared at Felicity in disbelief.

Felicity breathed out a huff of air and shook her head. "Do you honestly think Laurel is going to let that baby out of her sight? She hasn't been away from her in over 72 hours, she even went with them when they did the hearing test!"

"I just…" Tommy trailed off, gears turning until he sighed in defeat. "Well crap, what was the point of putting together the crib?"

"Because eventually she will be sleeping in it," Felicity said touching Tommy's shoulder. "I'll make up the bed, or show you how to do it."  
"What about Ray?" Tommy asked. Oliver bit his tongue, it would look really bad to be snarky and ask 'who cares'. Bad on too many counts to list.

"He'll understand, or I'll just not swing by my office first. It's really no big deal," Felicity said with a shrug and a smile.

It amazed Oliver how smitten they both were, over a little girl that wasn't theirs. He knew that things would change but who knew so drastically. Olivia wasn't even four days old yet and already they were all bending over backward for her..

"Man we are so screwed," Oliver said rubbing his hand over his face.

"Screwed how?" Felicity asked as she started to fold a purple blanket.

"I think he's referring to the fact that my daughter already has us wrapped around her little fingers," Tommy said looking in Oliver's direction.

"Exactly," he said with a chuckle. "Three days and already she's got us bending over backward to make things perfect for her. Life is forever changed isn't it?"

"Maybe, but of all the ways life could have changed, maybe this is one of the better ways don't you think?" Tommy asked as he moving to pick up a white curly letter O that Sara had dropped over with earlier. "Hey, Ollie, would you run out to the garage and grab the mattress?"

"Sure."

Oliver headed out of the room and let his mind wander. He thought about the many other ways their lives could have changed. As scary as having a baby seemed, Tommy was right, it was one of the better ways for things to change.

-O-

Oliver stood looking out the 30th floor window over Central City, snow was falling covering everything in bright white fluff. It reminded him that Christmas was just a week away. They were out making another site visit, he hoped to make it back to Starling City in time for the holidays.

Construction noise filled the air around him. He adjusted the hard hat on his head and turned toward where his father was talking to one of the foremen. The building was behind schedule and they'd just got word it could be another six months before everything was finished.

The office they were currently standing in would be the acting CEO's, a position that his father had yet to appoint. For months Oliver had dreamt about taking it, especially since Isabel had accepted a new job in Central City.

Now he wasn't so sure what he wanted to do.

Just that morning over the phone they had an argument over how they'd spend the holidays when he returned to Starling. The Merlyn's had invited them to a dinner to celebrate the holidays, opting to skip a big party. It was Livi's first Christmas. It meant a lot to them for Oliver to be there, and Isabel since they counted her as family too. Oliver couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be, over the last several months he'd grown quite fond of the little munchkin.

Just as he thought she would, Isabel started making excuses about why she couldn't go. About a month after Olivia was born Isabel had started making excuses for why she couldn't go with him to visit at Tommy and Laurel's. No matter the invitation she'd have something going on. He was able to overlook it, he himself seemed busy non-stop with work. How could he judge her? When Oliver insisted she go because they were family and he wanted her by his side she finally snapped.

 _"I can't sit through a dinner in front of your friends and watch you become even more in love with the idea of having a child,"_ Isabel said in a rush.

"I don't understand what you're talking about," Oliver said shocked by her statement.

_"Ollie, I don't want to have children. The more you talk about their little girl, and the way it lights up your face… I think it's time we ended this thing between us."_

"I don't… you never want children?"

_"No I don't… never have… I'm so sorry Oliver, I should have said something a long time ago. It has nothing to do with you. I think I was just so at ease with everything and then I found the ring… I didn't know you were so invested in our relationship, but when I found the ring I knew I had miscalculated things. I don't even know why you would get one… There is no way that I can allow this to go on any longer."_

"It seemed like the next step, I thought us being together for almost a year meant we were moving toward that at least," Oliver answered, his brain scrambling for something more substantial to say. He tried to feel something other than shock. Oddly he wasn't even angry about her omitting something so important. Something that should have come up months ago.

 _"Ollie, this had always been a relationship born out of convenience to me. It worked well on paper, pleased our parents for a while. Not that we haven't been happy, because I have, you've made me so happy this last year. I've enjoyed our time together, but I thought it was just that. When I noticed your obvious love for their little girl I should have said something. I'm sorry I didn't… You're not in love with me and I'm not in love with you, and that's okay,"_ Isabel said with a resigned sigh.

Oliver didn't know what to say. He knew that he did love her, he hadn't bought the engagement ring because he didn't. But like he'd told her. It felt like the natural next step. But now… How had he missed this though, that she didn't want children? How had it gone on so long? She was right, they weren't in love with each other. Their relationship lacked a passion he'd seen in Tommy and Laurel's relationship, hell even his parents relationship had more spark than theirs did. The knowledge didn't make things any easier.

 _"This will be for the best,_ " she finally said after the long empty pause. _"You deserve someone who can give you everything you ever wanted. That's not me."_

Oliver felt the heaviness of her words, loaded with the things she wasn't saying. There were a lot of things that he wanted to say as well, but none of it was relevant anymore.

"Alright Isabel, I understand," Oliver had said in answer.

Isabel was right, this would be for the best. Especially since he knew without a doubt now that he did want a family someday. The last seven months had told him that much. Watching his best friend, brother really, interact with his daughter made Oliver long for the same thing. Maybe not today, but eventually. It had been one of the motivating factors to buying the ring, so that some day they could take that next step.

Oliver closed his eyes and pulled himself from his memories to hear his father arguing with the foreman over the blueprint of the office. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

He wandered away from the men and pulled his phone out. It was a photo message from Tommy. The picture was of Olivia in her high chair, some form of green gooey mess covering her chubby cherub cheeks. He felt his lips tick up into a smile. 'First taste of avocado' the caption said. He quickly saved the photo and sent back a quick message saying how cute he thought she was.

Going home wasn't going to be as pleasant as he'd expected or hoped. But at least he'd be able to go spend time with his best friend and the little girl that had made him finally realize what he really wanted.

-O-

"OH Thank fuck! Here take her," Sara said thrusting a screaming squirming nine month old Olivia into Oliver's arms as he entered the Merlyn home. He hadn't even been able to take his leather jacket off or step out of his shoes.

"What is going on here?" Oliver's question was met with a growl. Olivia whimpered and pulled at his shirt, obviously wanting to be held closer. Oliver toed out of his shoes as he cradled her small body close, she nuzzled her face into his neck. Oliver followed Sara through the hallway as she stomped away.

"Of course now she stops screaming!" Sara groaned out obviously frustrated throwing her hands into the air, she spun to glare at Oliver, he nearly ran into her when she stopped. "How in the hell do you do that?"

"I um… uh…" Oliver stumbled, not knowing which response was going to be the right one. All he'd done so far was hold her.

"Oh jeez nevermind! I have to go, I'm already late, like really freaking late!" Sara grabbed up a large duffle bag and stepped into a pair of flats, and headed back the other direction.

Oliver followed, Olivia's fingers pinching his skin through his henley as she clung to him. "Where's Felicity?"

"The hell if I know. Laurel asked if I could come and watch Liv for like twenty minutes until Felicity got here, but then twenty minutes turned to forty and now I'm so late for rehearsal. Do you have any idea how hard I've been working on this?! I want that audition for the lead so bad, now this could screw all that up!" Sara snapped and Oliver cringed not sure what to say. "I have to go. Bye!"

The door slammed, rattling in its casing. Oliver stared at it in Sara's wake. Olivia lifted her face away from his neck, Oliver turned his head to look at her. Her blue eyes still teary and she hiccuped.

"Well that was fun. You want a snack?" Olivia smiled at him, a little dimple forming on her right cheek. She patted his face as he turned to head toward the kitchen. "Snack it is."

Ten minutes later a frantic Felicity came rushing into the kitchen, her face turned down as she rummaged through her purse. "I'm so so sorry. I had a meeting with a new client and he likes to talk more than I-" Felicity paused as she looked up, confusion evident at seeing him, as she dropped her purse on the island. "Where's Sara?"

Oliver raised an eyebrow as he stared in her direction. Olivia squealed and clapped her hands on her tray, making what was left of her cheerios and cheese bounce. She was obviously happy to see Felicity.

"Did you not check your phone?" Oliver asked, handing Olivia her water cup that he'd just filled.

"No I was already late, so I just hurried over here."

"She's at her rehearsal, practice… for ballet, I think," Oliver offered and Felicity nodded then deflated, leaning against the island in their friend's kitchen.

"I swear I need help with time management lately," she mumbled before heading over to the cabinet and pulling out a glass. Oliver bit his tongue to keep from making a snide comment about her being the late one more often than him lately. "Thank you for filling in for me."

"It's no problem. I'm just glad I was available. Sara is not a patient one," Oliver sat down on a stool and watched as Felicity filled her glass with water.

"Yeah I know… she's going crazy over some part she wants to land. So…" Felicity sipped from her glass, watching him over the top before setting it on the counter. "You can go if you'd like. I'm sure I can manage her."

Oliver looked Felicity over. She had dark rings under her eyes behind her glasses, like she hadn't been sleeping much. Her hair was pulled into some kind of messy knot, it was secured with what looked like a blue ballpoint pen and a yellow pencil. She was still dressed in her work attire, a gray pencil skirt and a pink button-up blouse. She looked like she needed a vacation. He worried she was working to hard, maybe they'd been working her to hard.

"You sure? You look a bit frazzled and tired," Oliver said before he could catch himself. He hadn't meant to make it sound like he doubted her ability to take care of their goddaughter. Just as he thought she immediately stiffened, taking his comment the wrong way. Quickly before she could snap at him he tried to backpedal. "I just meant that maybe you should go-" She glared and he sucked in a stuttered breath. "… never mind. I just mean I'd like to stay, I don't have anything else planned tonight. I'd love to spend it with our goddaughter, if that's okay. We can tag team."

Once he'd said it, he knew it was true. Oliver didn't want to leave. He wanted to see the two of them together. He knew that Felicity watched her occasionally on Thursday evenings so that Tommy and Laurel could go to dinner in peace and 'reconnect' as Tommy called it. The idea of going home to his empty apartment wasn't appealing.

Felicity bit her lip and looked away from him at Olivia. Oliver breathed out the breath he was holding, he'd expected her to say no, to send him packing. Her silent acceptance was enough for him.

"Hey baby girl, you ready for some dinner?"

"She just had a snack, so I don't know how hungry she would be right away for dinner," he pointed out. Felicity's response was to nod and wrinkle her nose.

"Okay well, I don't know about you but I'm starving. I can order something," she moved over to her purse, where she'd dropped it when she came in. She started rummaging through it, setting her wallet on the counter, then pulling out her phone and unlocking it. "Hmm… who should we call?"

"Or I could cook something for all of us," Oliver offered and Felicity turned to look at him skeptically over her phone.

"You cook?" Her voice full of doubt.

"Sure, don't you?" he asked as he moved over to Tommy and Laurel's fridge. He'd spied some gorgonzola cheese in the bin, asparagus and a leftover steak, he was pretty sure Laurel would have some pasta. He could throw it all together and make a nice dish. He pulled the items out, setting them on the counter top. He moved to a cabinet he knew Laurel used as a pantry for dry goods like rice and pasta.

"I know how to, yes. But I don't often cook, it's just me so I order in a lot, doesn't make much sense to make dinner for one. So when did you have time to learn how to cook, huh? I'd imagine you'd be too busy you know being a playboy and all?" Felicity asked, a light teasing tone to her voice.

Oliver grinned and shook his head. He heard the stool scrape across the tiled floor as Felicity moved it closer to the high chair. Olivia laughed and tossed her cup onto the floor. Felicity grumbled something about 'casting and retrieving' as she bent to pick it up. Her heels thumping to the floor as she sat back down.

"As I was growing up, when I'd gotten myself grounded or suspended from school, Raisa would pull me into the kitchen and make me cook with her. She told me it was to keep me out of trouble, and at first I hated it. Then I realized how fast I could pick things up, that I was actually good at it, and it wasn't so bad," he said with a smile as he pulled the sleeves of his henley up to his elbows. He grabbed a box of noodles from the cabinet and set about starting a pan of water.

"Well I guess that's helpful, and did it keep you out of trouble?" Felicity asked watching him with sleepy eyes.

"Of course not, but she tried," Oliver winked as he pulled a skillet out of the cupboard, Felicity smiled back at him, her eyes blinked slowly. "Why don't you go take a nap? I can wake you when dinner is done in about twenty or so minutes."

"Who will watch Livi?" Felicity asked, propping her chin on her hand, yawning.

"She's in her high chair, she should be good while I cook."

Felicity shook herself and sat up straighter. "No it's okay... I'm supposed to be the one babysitting so maybe if I sit here I'll be good. Maybe a cup of coffee would be nice."

"If you're sure. I'll make you some coffee," Oliver reached over and turned on the coffee pot. He turned to ask her which pod she would like, and found her slumped against the island, head resting on her forearm, eyes closed. He set the coffee down on the counter. Well it's a good thing he hadn't gone home.

"Felicity?" His only answer was a soft snore. He chuckled and shook his head. Oliver looked over at Olivia. "Well Livi, I do believe it's naptime for Aunty Felicity."

She giggled and clapped her hands. "Ni ni"

"Yep, nite nite."

He moved around the island, slipped his arm under her legs and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders. She tipped off the stool, into his body, as he lifted her, her head came to rest against his shoulder. His nose just inches away from her hair, he could smell the of citrus and coconut hair product she used. Whatever it was she smelled amazing and her body felt so warm against his.

Oliver carried her past Olivia's high chair and into the small sitting room off the dining room. He slowly lowered her down onto the couch. She rolled and pressed her face into his arm, before he was able to pull away, and sighed. Felicity's warm breath moist against his skin, causing goosebumps to raise along his arm. He watched her for a moment making sure she had settled before gently pulling his arm free. He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over her, tucking the edges under her body.

Watching her sleep he felt a warmth spread through him. Oliver loved knowing that she comfortable enough to slip off to sleep. Of course it could have had more to do with her long hours at work than her being comfortable around him but he liked that thought better. He slipped her glasses off and resisted the urge to brush the wisps of hair off her face, and headed back to the kitchen.

Olivia played with a wooden spoon and a plastic bowl as he put dinner together. He put a small amount of everything into a small bowl for Olivia, taking care to cut up the pieces into little ones that she could easily mash with her four teeth. He was just pouring some of the food onto two other plates when Felicity wandered back into the kitchen.

Oliver smiled at her rumpled appearance, her hair half coming out of the already messy bun from before. Her eyes were clear, the darkness under her eyes was lessened. The nap had done her a lot of good.

"Mornin' sunshine," he said with a smirk.

Felicity blinked her eyes and grinned sleepily. She rubbed her hand over her face, pushing her hair back. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that! Where's my glasses?"

He pointed to them on the counter and she moved over to pull them on.

"Don't apologize. You obviously needed the nap. Livi was perfect," he turned toward the little girl, bringing her bowl over. "Weren't you Livi? Just sat there and played while Uncle Ollie cooked dinner," he slipped the bowl he'd put together onto her tray and she squealed joyfully.

"Thank you Oliver, for letting me cat nap. I've just been so busy lately," Felicity slipped back onto the same stool as earlier.

Oliver moved back around the island to grab the two plates he'd put together for them. "I know you've been busy. I heard Hobbs saying that there hadn't been a day this week that you didn't contact him, long after normal business hours."

"Yeah, there is so much that has to be done still, and I've taken on two new clients… business is good and I know I should be happy. But gosh, I'm so tired," she paused to breath in deeply over the plate of food he slipped in front of her. "Oh my, this smells amazing, Oliver."

Oliver chuckled and sat on the stool next to her. "Thank you. Maybe you should hire a few more people?"

"I've already hired three, and they are working out wonderfully. I just need to learn to let go of some of the responsibility. Trust them to know what they are doing," Felicity took a bite of food and hummed. She looked over at Olivia who was gumming a small piece of pasta. "This sure is good isn't it Livi?"

Olivia smiled at Felicity then dumped her bowl and smacked it on the tray.

"I don't know if she agrees with you," Oliver said tucking into his own food. She was smashing more than she was actually eating.

"Of course she does, she just prefers it not in the bowl. Babies…" Felicity said with a shrug.

He swallowed, "So anything else new going on with you?"

"Nope," Felicity said popping the p as she shook her head. "How about you? I heard about things with Isabel."

"Sometimes things just don't work out," Oliver replied with a shrug. It had been months since their break up, he was long over it. But this was the first time he and Felicity had been in the same room alone since Christmas, both too busy with work. Seemed they were always passing each other.

"Yeah I know how that goes, Ray decided that a long distance relationship was too hard to manage with running a multimillion dollar company. You know, honestly it was admittedly exhausting. It's better this way I think. I'm too swamped with work for personal stuff anyways," she smiled at Oliver and he couldn't help but return it. "But then you know being busy don't you?"

"That I do. I've been basically living between two cities for the last month. I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and Ray. You two seemed so evenly matched."

"I'm totally fine with it," Felicity shrugged it off, returning to her food. Oliver frowned. It was almost as if she'd given up on that aspect of her life. If anyone deserved to be happy in that arena it was Felicity. She gave so much of herself to everyone. At least that was what he'd observed and heard from Tommy and Laurel.

After she chewed she looked back to where Olivia was shoving a piece of asparagus into her mouth. "Besides, gives me more time to hang out with this little peanut."

Taking the cue that Felicity was done talking about relationship stuff he smiled at his goddaughter. "She's a special one for sure. I hear you babysit for them all the time."

"Not all the time, just on Thursdays for two hours. It gives me enough of a fix to let me know that I'm so not ready for one of my own yet," Felicity coughed and looked in his direction. "Not that I'm actually thinking about having one anytime soon. You have to have another party for that, or go get you know knocked up at a clinic that does that sort of thing, or you know have an accidental hookup with someone-"

"Felicity," Oliver laughed.

"I can't believe I keep doing that around you. Ugh," She flushed over with a beautiful blush. "Anyways! Thank you for making us dinner. This was truly wonderful!"

"You're welcome, it's been nice sharing a meal with you too. I mean with the two of you," Oliver shook his head and stood up, moving to grab Felicity's empty plate and stacked it on top of his.

"I could get those, since you made dinner," Felicity said as she stood up, pulling the empty bowl from Olivia's hand and Oliver took it from her as he moved around the island to place the dishes in the sink.

"I've got this, why don't you give her a bath," Oliver said over his shoulder.

"That sounds like a good trade. Oohh Liiivi, do you want a bath," Felicity cooed at the baby. Oliver grinned as he started washing a plate as the little girl giggled. "Let's go have a bath then."

He turned to watch as Felicity pulled Olivia out of the high chair. Even though she was messy Felicity pulled the little girl close to her chest and kissed her forehead. Messy fingers gripped Felicity's pink shirt leaving behind what Oliver knew would be stains. None of that seemed to bother Felicity as she tickled the baby's side. Laughter spilled from her and she tucked her head under Felicity's chin.

It was a side of Felicity he hadn't gotten much time to see. It reminded him of the time he'd seen her holding her in the hospital. Some day Felicity would make a wonderful mother.

"Come on munchie." She murmured into Olivia's brown curls as she left the kitchen.

Leaving Oliver wondering whether he was so fond of Felicity because she was so sweet with Olivia, or if he'd grown fond of her because she was proving to be everything he hadn't realized he wanted.

-O-

Olivia giggled as Oliver blew a raspberry on her neck. He was always amazed at the one year old's ability to brighten his day. Over the last couple months he'd visited Tommy and Laurel more frequently in between business trips. Today Laurel had invited him over early to help put up decorations for Olivia's birthday party since Tommy had to do some research for a case.

Oliver hadn't planned to go to the party, he was swamped with the new building being almost ready for move in. They only had to pass one more inspection then they could occupy. He was pretty sure the building inspector in Central was just trying to see how far he could push his father before the lawyers got involved. But after a long week in Central City he just wanted to unwind and the easiest way to do that lately was to cuddle his goddaughter.

"Is Makenna going to be here?" Laurel asked breaking into his thoughts. He looked in her direction, she stood on top of the dining room table pulling crepe paper through the light fixture.

"No, we ended things a couple weeks ago," Oliver said lifting a squealing Olivia into the air as she kicked her legs.

"Oh I'm sorry. You know I think Tommy mentioned something. I have been so distracted lately. I thought going back to work a few months ago was hard, but then we got handed this huge case load from another law firm… and your eyes just took on that glassy look. I'm sounding like Felicity when she talks computers, don't I?"

Oliver smiled, chuckling at her ramble. Of course Felicity had managed to rub a little bit of herself off on everyone. Even he had on occasion rambled on about something.

"It's okay Laurel. I have heard from Felicity that lil Livie here hasn't been too keen on sleeping," Oliver tickled the not quite toddler again before setting her on the floor with her toys. She crawled over to a couple of brightly colored cups and started playing with them. "It's not your job to keep up on my failed love life."

"Can I ask what happened?" Laurel asked a friendly curiosity in her tone, she climbed down off the table. She picked up the ends of the crepe paper and started twisting it.

"Makenna went out to Coast City to help her sister for a week or two with her kids and while there she decided she rather be there than in Starling City," he explained with a shrug.

Oliver had bumped into Makenna at the grocery store one evening, two months after his break up with Isabel, when he couldn't sleep. The last time he'd seen her was in senior high when they'd spent a couple weeks hot and heavy until they both moved on to other conquests. They fell into an easy conversation that lead to dinner and a movie. Just days later they were repeating what happened in high school.

The fling with Makenna had been fun, and Oliver had never seen it becoming something permanent. After everything fell through with Isabel he was more aware of what he wanted. Makenna was fun but didn't want the same things Oliver did.

"You don't seem to broken up about it," Laurel commented stepping toward the corner of the room with the twisted crepe paper. She tore the paper then looked around her.

Oliver grabbed the tape from the table and stepped toward her. He handed her the tape, taking the paper ends from her fingers and stepped up onto the step stool. "It's unfortunate that it ended so soon, but it wasn't ever going to be anything permanent. Makenna is too free spirited and we want different things out of life."

"Is that so? What exactly do you want out of life Ollie?" Laurel asked, handing him a piece of tape. Her soft gaze as she looked at him dug deeper than he imagined.

Oliver looked away from her gaze as he stuck the tape to the paper and then pressed them to the crown molding around the ceiling of the room. "I don't know exactly."

"I don't buy that for a second. You may be able to fool Tommy with that but not me. I swear sometimes you remind me so much of Felicity. Thinking you can lie your way out of not telling me the truth," Laurel stated as Oliver stepped off the stool turning to look at her. "It's just you and me here, you can be honest, and it won't leave our little area."

Of course Oliver knew exactly what he wanted. He'd known since his and Isabel's break up. Well actually it started just days weeks after Olivia was born. It took him a while to figure it out but once he had he knew he wouldn't settle for anything less. He just needed to bide his time.

"But I mean… you don't have to tell me. I didn't mean to pry," Laurel suddenly said, back pedaling likely feeling his hesitation. She moved over to pick up a fussing Olivia off the floor.

"It's not that Laurel…," Oliver said sitting down in a chair as Laurel moved to sit in the chair next to him.

"What is it then?" she pressed gently, Olivia pulling on her shirt and pressing her face into Laurel's neck.

"It's more of a someone than something," Oliver finally admitted softly.

"Please don't tell me it's Sara, I mean I love my sister but she's so wrapped up in dance and school that-"

"Oh no, not Sara," Oliver all but shouted cutting off Laurel. Another blonde came to mind. One who was snippy and quick, brilliant and a royal pain in his ass. She challenged him to try harder, be better.

"Who then?" Laurel asked while rocking slowly back and forth, Olivia's eyes starting to droop.

"I don't think it would be a good idea to say," Oliver answered honestly. He was afraid that saying it out loud would make it too real. It was hard enough realizing it when he had. It was hard to keep it to himself whenever he was working with her. That and some part of him worried that Laurel wouldn't think that he was good enough for her best friend.

"Hmm," Laurel hummed, her fingers running over the back of Olivia's head. Oliver watched as the dark brown curls moved smoothly through Laurel's thin fingers. "Felicity, huh?"

Oliver's eyes locked with Laurel's. "I… but… no..." Oliver tried to think of something that would take it back, make it less obvious.

"There's no use denying it, I can see it written all over your face," Laurel offered with a shrug. "The two of you are sucky liars."

Oliver released a breath and scrubbed his hands over his face. Slowly he brought his eyes back up to hers. He was met with a kind and understanding gaze. "Yes… I think somewhere along the way I've fallen for Felicity," he replied softly.

If it was possible Laurel's eyes softened even more and she nodded. "I tried to tell Tommy that I thought you maybe-"

"She's with that Allen kid," Oliver interrupted, reminding her and himself about that one thing that stood in the way.

Laurel nodded and a sleeping Olivia sighed heavily at her shoulder. "There is that."

"Yeah."

Laurel stood and moved over to the little play pen thing in the corner, slowly laying Olivia down into it. Oliver watched as the little one shifted, rolled to her side with a sigh and remained asleep.

"I would appreciate it if you kept it between just us," Oliver said quickly. He still hadn't figured out how he wanted to approach the subject. He wasn't even sure if Felicity had feelings for him. The one person who may know was sitting in front of him and she wasn't offering anything up.

"I won't say anything Ollie. I already told you that. But I will say that I think you should say something to her, soon. Life is too short and precious to not reach out and grab what you want," Laurel squeezed his shoulder as she walked past him. "I have some balloons to blow up. You interested in helping?"

Oliver breathed a sigh of relief. His heart lighter for sharing his secret with someone else. "I'd love to fill some balloons."

They spent the next half hour filling balloons in a comfortable silence, until Sara danced in waking up Olivia. All too soon guests started arriving and the conversation from earlier was pushed far into the back of Oliver's mind.


	9. Felicity

Felicity frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She stood in her underwear, hair pulled up into a messy knot on her head, glasses sliding down her nose as she held a green knee length halter dress in front of her. She wrinkled her nose and switched it for a purple one with white polka dots. She bit her lip as she tried to decide which would be more fun for a one year old’s birthday party. **  
**

One whole year.

Felicity smiled as she thought about the trek that year had taken her on. The sudden arrival of her goddaughter Olivia had been equal parts scary and exciting. She felt something right itself in her world when she held little Livi in her arms. It made the desire to have the same thing rattle in her heart.

Though the next few months proved she could most definitely wait for that to happen.

Babies brought with them so much noise, with screaming and squealing. Also they drove grown adults to insanity due to sleep deprivation. Sauvy lawyer Laurel had been replaced with a sleep deprived mama bear, who did everything she could for her daughter, even if it didn’t make much sense. Felicity was certain she wasn’t ready for that.

Felicity loved and hated Laurel being a mom. Being a mom consumed all of Laurel’s time, it didn’t leave a lot of time for the two of them to just be best friends anymore. That was the part Felicity hated, she also hated how selfish it made her feel, but she missed her best friend more than anything.

She knew it was unfair to blame all of it on Laurel, a good portion of their distance was Felicity’s fault too.

Between Laurel’s new role of mommy and Felicity’s company’s new growth, due mostly in part to her working with Queen Consolidated, they hardly had time to just sit and talk. Felicity found herself missing the girl nights where they drowned their troubles in a great bottle of wine and just talked. For months after Livi was born they mainly talked about how weird baby behaviors were and whether Laurel was really being a good mom.

Livi was four months old before Felicity told Laurel that Ray had broke up with her. That it had happened just days after the baby was born and she hadn’t felt right about saying anything. Felicity didn’t want Laurel to think that she had been the cause of it at all. Ray had simply gotten bored of coming second fiddle to Felicity’s friends. At least that was what Felicity took from his decision to end it.

After finally opening up to Laurel, she once again started hanging out at their house. When Livi was five months old Felicity found herself adding babysitting as a permanent slot on her calendar for Thursday nights. It happened after witnessing one of the biggest fights she’d ever seen between Tommy and Laurel. All over someone not washing Livi’s baby bottles. When they started slinging bashing words at each other Felicity handed Tommy his car keys, Laurel her purse and shoved them toward the door.

Instantly both started protesting but Felicity shushed them and insisted they go spend some time alone. That she could handle a baby for a couple hours no problem. Of course Felicity had been wrong.

Twice in the two hours they were gone Felicity was reduced to tears right along with a screaming Livi. But they both survived the evening. Three Thursdays later they, Livi and Felicity, had come to some kind of unspoken agreement and things got even easier. Not only with the babysitting but with Laurel too.

Livi had become Felicity’s link back to Laurel and life was right again.

Everything went smoothly until one evening when Livi was nine months old, Felicity ran late at the office with a new client. She walked in expecting to see Sara, instead found Oliver with an expectant look on his face. There was something all too attractive about him standing there holding a bright pink sippy cup in one hand, she tried to ignore him. He offered to make dinner and she couldn’t turn it down, then he had let her nap. Dinner had been amazing, not only because of the food.

After giving Livi a bath they both played with her until Tommy and Laurel arrived. Of course Oliver was wonderful with the little girl, laying on the floor, letting her fly above him as Livi giggled. Seeing the way Oliver was with her, him unknowingly sharing that softer open side of himself, it struck a chord with Felicity. She knew she was in trouble.

Feelings Felicity didn’t want to feel, ones she had shoved down deep came bubbling quickly to the surface. All of them ones she had decided long ago she shouldn't have, there were too many factors involved. Her friendship to Laurel and his to Tommy were more important, plus she worked for Oliver’s father. All good and valid reasons not to let things go beyond them being cordial to each other.

Days later Felicity regretted letting Oliver stay that evening. Working with him became harder than ever. She hated feeling attracted to him. It would have been easier if it had just been a physical thing but the closer they worked together the more she felt an attraction to his mind as well. It was especially hard when he tried to talk about life away from work. Because then it was too easy to slip into those emotions she didn’t want to associate with him.

That's when she'd decided she needed to fill the gap Ray had left empty. Felicity felt that was the only way she could get past it. So she was eternally grateful for fate throwing her Barry Allen when it did.

Barry Allen was a wonderful distraction from work, and the struggle to keep Oliver firmly on the other side of anything more than a friendship. What started out as a quick job for him turned into him calling and asking her about her day, or sending her a text. Then things grew into lunches and dates. It was simple and easy, just what Felicity needed to keep herself grounded and on the right track.

A warm hand slid around her middle and Felicity’s eyes flickered upward, finding Barry’s light brown ones in the mirror. His smile light and happy reflected back at her, his dark hair a finger teased mess on top of his head.

“Hey, you’re back!” Felicity greeted him happily. He’d been away searching or hunting down a lead on some item for his latest client. Barry Allen was a Rare Item Acquisition Specialist, his label, she looked at it as more of a nerd helping other nerds find collectible items they just had to have. She was sure it was more than that, since he did help museums acquire items too but Felicity got great joy out of teasing him about it.

“I am. I found what I was looking for, faster than I thought, so I figured I’d come back and spend the weekend with my favorite girl,” he grinned above her in the mirror.

“Aww so sweet,” Felicity leaned back into him, his familiar warm welcome against her almost bare skin.

“So what are you doing?” Barry asked as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his fingers dancing along her rib cage.

Felicity switched from the purple dress to the green in the mirror. “Trying to decide which would be okay to wear to a one year old’s birthday party.”

“Oh I’d forgotten that was today,” he answered looking at the dress. “Wear the green one.”

“But I thought you hated green,” she said, eyes finding his again, a sexy little smirk on his lips.

“I do. It’ll make me look forward to removing it once you get back from the party,” he leaned down and kissed her on the back of the neck. “What time is the party?” he murmured into the sensitive spot just below her ear.

Felicity felt her knees go weak as his warm breath moved over her skin, Barry’s arm tightened around her waist. “Mm… like at three I think.”

“Oh good… We have time.” He turned her in front of him, then pulled her up over his shoulder, causing her to laugh.

“Barry!” Felicity admonished playfully as he turned and dropped her down on her bed. She felt the bed dip as he climbed on after her. She shifted up the bed toward her headboard as he climbed toward her. Barry sliding his hand up the inside of her calf, further up the inside of her thigh, as he moved over her, his lips finding her shoulder. “I don’t have a lot of … oh …”

\--F--

The party for Livi was one of the biggest bashes she’d ever seen Laurel throw at home. All the children from the neighborhood were there, along with their parents. Felicity wondered if it was all necessary. . She wasn’t sure how Laurel was holding it all together.

Felicity dropped herself in a chair at the table with a giggling Livi on her lap as she watched Laurel reorganize the cupcakes so they looked just right on the tiered display. Screaming kids could be heard through the open windows as Tommy and Oliver chased them with Nerf guns. Felicity was pretty sure this party was more for the adults than for Livi.

“I’m glad you could come,” Laurel said as she sniped a cupcake and licked the frosting off.

“Like there was any choice,” Felicity said with a smile, she kissed Livi’s forehead. Nothing would have kept her from attending her favorite little person’s birthday party.

“There is always a choice, like yours to not bring Barry,” Laurel eyed her as she shoved the cupcake in her mouth, and Felicity chuckled.

“He wasn’t invited,” Felicity lied, but she knew Laurel couldn’t say anything as she had her mouth full of cake.

Laurel glared at her over her shoulder as she moved to a small bakery box and opened it. She chewed, as she pulled a small cake out of the box. She swallowed as she walked back toward the table. “Tommy, almost cake time!” She yelled toward an open window and Tommy gave her a thumbs up. “That’s a lie Felicity, you could have brought him with you,” Laurel finished eyeing Felicity.

“I didn’t want things to be weird,” Felicity stated honestly. It would be awkward if Barry had come, especially with Oliver at the party. Livi squirmed and fussed to be let down so she set her on the floor.

“How could things be weird by you bringing your boyfri-”

“Barry isn’t my boyfriend,” Felicity corrected.

Laurel’s brow furrowed as she stared at Felicity. “But you’ve been together for months.”

“I know but it’s not like that.” Felicity sighed averting her eyes away, from Laurel’s questioning gaze, toward where Livi crawled across the floor to pull up at a chair. As fun and easy as things were with her and Barry, not once had they defined what they were. Felicity was all too happy to keep it that way.

“Then what is it like?” Laurel asked finally as she picked up her camera, snapping several pictures of the cupcake tower.

Felicity thought about that for a moment. The easiest answer was that they were friends with perks. That she liked Barry but didn’t see it going further than what they already had. “He’s fun, and being with him is easy.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Laurel said with a roll of her eyes, her tone mocking drawing Felicity’s gaze back toward her.  Laurel sighed deeply as she searched Felicity’s eyes. “You know, I thought by now you’d be declaring how much you love him. Actually, you hardly ever talk about him. Why is that?”

“I don’t know… Maybe I just don’t want to ruin a good thing?” Felicity said with a shrug. She saw the moment that Laurel didn’t buy what she said. That little crinkle all too prominent between her eyes when she knew Felicity was lying appeared.

“Something tells me you’re settling for him, and I don’t understand why. You’d think if he was what you wanted there would be more of a spark when you talk about him, but to me he just sounds like a friend, like Roy is to you. Just seems odd,” Laurel stated her ability to read Felicity setting her on edge.

Felicity just shrugged, looking away and watched as Livi destroyed one of the decorations on the side of the table. “I’m not settling,” she finally said and Laurel snorted.

“I think you can do better, but you’re afraid, or something else is holding you back,” Laurel started but was cut off as the back door opened. The noise from outside moved closer as everyone entered the house through the backdoor, quickly spilling into the dining room. Tommy and Oliver directing the troop of kids toward the chairs, instructing them to take a seat or share one.

“We will continue this conversation later,” Laurel said leveling her with a look that told Felicity she had a long evening in store for her. “Livi, you ready for cake baby?”

Livi squealed and reached up for Laurel from the floor. Felicity watched fondly for a moment before she felt as if someone was staring at her. She lifted her eyes from the pair to catch Oliver’s eye from across the room and she felt her chest tighten as butterflies sprung to life in her stomach. She knew exactly what was holding her back, but she felt helpless to do anything about it.

\--F--

_**Enjoy the ride.** _

Felicity pulled the end of her floor length purple  dress up and rushed from her room to her living room. She pulled back her curtain and looked out her front window. She smiled wide at the sight. A long white limo sat behind her little red mini.

_Oliver, you shouldn’t have!  
_ **_Dad and I thought you deserved it. You deserve so much more. See you soon._ **

Felicity stared at her phone and wondered what he meant by that. She didn’t know how to read him lately. In the month since Livi’s birthday party he had been more stoic. Where he used to try to talk to her about all things, even when they were at work, now he was reserved and quiet. Always looking at her. It bothered her that maybe she’d done something to make him change. But he mostly seemed happy when they did talk, so she just didn’t understand it.

The opening of the Applied Science building was just a week away and a month after, if everything went well, she would be handing full responsibility over to Caitlin Snow. The closer that day got the more quiet Oliver seemed to be. Perhaps that was what was going on. Once she handed over the reigns her contract with QC would be finished.

She pushed the thoughts away and shot him a quick thank you and see ya soon. She was too excited for this evening to let his weird behavior get her worked up. Besides there wasn’t anything she could do about him anyway.

Felicity had never been so happy that the Queens liked to fuss over things in a grand way. With the opening of the new building they decided to throw a huge bash for all the new employees and those who had worked so hard to make it a reality. It gave everyone an opportunity to see the new facility and the Queens a way to thank people.

She had only been into the building a handful of times during the construction, and there hadn’t been too much to see. Tonight they’d get to see what it looked like fully complete.

Felicity gathered her stilettos and hand bag and headed for the door.

The driver held the door open for her upon their arrival at the Applied Sciences building. She stepped out into a throng of reporters snapping photos of the event. She was halfway up the stairs when Oliver appeared at the top.

He paused in his next step and she felt his eyes slip over her. Felicity felt the all too common butterflies start to flutter in her stomach as he looked at her. She allowed her own perusal of him, his coal black suit a sharp contrast to the white shirt under it. A bright blue bowtie sat at his collar, making his eyes appear a darker shade of blue. She completed the final steps to the top and smiled.

“Hey there,” Felicity greeted him.

“Felicity… you look stunning,” he said with a slow smile. Felicity’s free hand fluttered over the bodice of her strapless dress. It was just a simple corseted bodice with a flowing skirt that pooled at her feet.

“Thank you,” she smiled in return, a blush fanning across her skin. “You dressed up nicely yourself.”

Oliver chuckled and held his arm out for her. “May I escort you inside? I think Thea is looking for you.”

Felicity slipped her arm through his offered arm. “Sure, why would Thea be looking for me?”

“Something about Roy, I’m not exactly sure.”

As they cleared the front doors Felicity looked around the main lobby. Everything was pristine, marble flooring shined and glass surfaces sparkled. The decorations were simple, just vases of flowers on the tables in the wide open space, white and gold streamers cross across the ceiling. Before they were fully in the room Thea came rushing over.

“Felicity!! I need to talk to you right now!” Thea demanded grabbing her arm and began tugging her away from Oliver.

“Go, she won’t let you alone unless you talk to her,” Oliver let his arm fall away from hers.

Felicity laughed and started to follow Thea.

They were a few steps away before Oliver called out to them. “Hey Smoak, save a dance for me later!”

“Okay Queen,” she called back over her shoulder as Thea dragged her toward a door marked as the ladies restroom. “Really Thea, you don’t need to pull me.”

Thea let go of her arm and frowned. “Sorry about that.”

Thea held the door open and Felicity stepped inside. “What is this all about?”

“Roy is acting so strange! I just don’t know what to do. I think he’s going to break things off with me,” Thea fretted, wandering back and forth in the close quarters.

Felicity watched the younger Queen with a smile. Ever since she's met Thea she had liked her, well after the air cleared from their first meeting she did. She appreciated the girls fierceness, which she had witnessed first hand, but she was sweet and quick witted like her brother. Thea also had a kind and charitable heart something not a lot of young people had, especially ones of means like Thea had been grown up with. It was no wonder that she had her best friend Roy wrapped around her pinky.

Felicity felt frustrated for Thea. Roy had been all kinds of sketchy lately. But he's had a good reason, not that she could tell Thea about it though.

Just last week he’d confessed to Felicity that he had asked Robert Queen for permission to marry Thea. Robert had told him it wasn’t his choice but Thea’s, Roy had been relieved at first but over the last week his anxiousness had returned. He worried that Thea would say no.

“Thea, sweetie, he isn’t going to break up with you. He is so smitten it’s not funny,” Felicity said pulling Thea into hug her as she stepped past her.

“Are you sure? Because he has been so distracted when we’re together, last night at dinner he barely said two words.”

“Thea trust me. He isn’t going to break up with you,” Felicity pulled back and brushed Thea’s hair back out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. “I would tell you more but it’s not my place. Just give him time okay?”

“Okay,” Thea breathed out softly, she closed her eyes and breathed out a slow breath. Her face relaxing before she opened her eyes again. “I just don’t know what I would do if he broke up with me.”

“Well I’m so glad to know that you love him so much,” Felicity smiled and Thea returned it. Her blue-green eyes sparkling.

“Thank you Felicity, sorry to have dragged you off. We should go back out before they start doing tours.”

“I agree, and I’m here anytime you wanna talk. Okay?”

“Got it,” Thea said as they made their way back out into the main lobby.

They weren’t in the restroom more than just a few minutes and already the place was packed. Thea spotted her parents and linked her arm with Felicity’s, pulling her toward the stage that was set up at one end of the lobby. “Have you met our mother yet?”

“Yes, but just a couple times,” Felicity said allowing the younger woman to guide her in that direction. She wanted to thank Robert for the limo anyways.

“Mom!” Thea called and the beautiful Moira Queen turned to look in their direction.

“Thea, where have you been?” Her mother asked, taking a step toward them, her eyes lighting on Felicity for a moment. A light smile lifting the corner of her lips, reaching all the way to the older woman’s eyes. “Miss Smoak, you look lovely! We were just in the IT department, you’ve done a spectacular job with everything. So neat and tidy, I just can’t imagine understanding where all of that goes and how it works.”

Felicity chuckled nervously. “It’s nothing Mrs. Queen. I just did the job I was paid to do.”

“Well I’ve seen the QC IT department, I think that would be a walk through a nightmare for you. Hey Robert, do you think we should hire Miss Smoak to redesign our main IT Department?” Moira asked turning to pull her husband Robert into the conversation and away from another QC executive that Felicity didn’t recognize.

“What was that Moira?” Robert asked as he looped his arm around his wife’s slim waist. “Oh hello Felicity.”

Felicity nodded in his direction, flushing with a slow blush. She always felt a little flattered when he called her by her first name. He’d started it the second month she was working with them. He liked her name too much to call her by her last name.

“I was just saying that I thought Miss Smoak would do a wonderful job revamping the QC IT servers. She did such a wonderful job with her design here in the new building,” Moira explained.

“Moira, darling, I think the poor woman would like to go back to running her own company, we’ve sucked up a year of her life with this build. But you are right, she would do a wonderful job. I plan to have Jordan work on a full overhaul soon though. Felicity you did a beautiful job up there,” Robert said reaching out to touch her elbow.

“Thank you so much Mr and Mrs Queen. It’s been an honor working for your company. It’s opened so many doors for me. I’ve had to expand my workforce actually,” Felicity replied, truly grateful for all the opportunities she now had because of their interest in her. “Thank you also for the limo this evening. That was so wonderfully thoughtful.”

Moira and Robert shared a look between them. Thea giggled. “Limo? You got her a limo for tonight dad?”

Robert shook his head and Felicity felt as if she’d missed something big. “I don’t believe I did.”

“Oh well Oliver said that you and he believed I deserved it. I just thought...”

“Oh…” Moira smiled softly at her. “It must have been Oliver’s doing, but he didn’t want you to think too much of it.”

“That must have been it,” Robert said with a nod.

The speakers squealed as someone took the stage, the microphone causing an uncomfortable feedback to ring out over the crowd. He called for everyone to find a seat and those milling around them started to move to the tables.

“I guess things are going to kick off now. Have a wonderful evening Felicity. If you need anything just let us know,” Robert said guiding Moira away from them.

“Okay, thank you again,” Felicity said and Thea nudged her elbow.

“I do believe my parents like you a little bit,” Thea said with a wink. “But maybe not as much as my brother.”

“Oh jeez Thea, it was just a nice gesture. Let’s find a seat,” Felicity said moving toward a table not far away and taking a seat.

The next hour flew by as the speaker explained what the Applied Sciences branch of Queen Consolidated would be trying to do, what it meant for the growth of the company, a dinner was served. Shortly after dinner Felicity finally got to go on a tour of the building. She’d mainly only been in the IT department as she helped oversee the setup of the servers and all the hardware, making sure everything was perfect.

Afterward she made her way back to the main lobby where some of the tables had been moved to give way to room for a dance floor. Oliver found her as she was getting a fresh flute of champagne.

“Smoak, would you care to dance?” Oliver asked, holding his hand out to her. His smile was hesitant and it made her wonder what he was thinking about.

“We don’t have to. It’s been so long I may end up stepping on your toes all over again,” Felicity said sipping from her flute.

Oliver smiled a genuine full smile that made her knees weak. “I think my toes can survive it. They have in the past.”

“Okay, they’re your toes,” Felicity set the flute down on the table nearby and took his hand.

Oliver led them onto the dance floor, among the other guests who were swaying to the soft music the band was playing. He pulled her in close and Felicity tried hard to ignore the way she could feel the warmth of his hand through her dress at her lower back.

“You look lovely tonight,” Oliver said as he moved them slowly back and forth.

“You said I was stunning earlier,” Felicity reminded him with a smirk.

“Both fit,” he said meeting her eyes. She felt her chest tighten at the way he looked at her. She blinked and looked away.

“Well thank you. Thank you for the limo by the way, your father didn’t know anything about it,” Felicity stated trying to control her voice. Her heart was racing at the idea of why he would have sent one for her, why he kept complimenting her. The heat she saw behind his look just now.

“I shouldn’t have lied about my father having something to do with it. I didn’t think you’d mention it to him,” Oliver said softly, his fingers squeezed her hand, drawing her eyes back up to his. “I felt like with all the work you did, you deserved something nice.”

Felicity sighed and felt herself relax further into his arms. “It was very sweet of you Oliver, thank you.”

He nodded and they swayed in silence for a few moments. Felicity breathed in the very familiar smell of him, something between a soap and leather smell. Oliver was always so warm, she felt it seeping into her skin, making her mind wander to places she tried to keep out of.

“Felicity,” Oliver cleared his throat and she felt his arms tighten around her for just a brief moment.

“Yes Oliver?” Their eyes met and she bit her lip, the look on his face somewhere between desperate and fearful. “What is it?”

“I wanted to tell you something but-”

“Felicity! There you are!”

Both Oliver and Felicity startled at the sudden intrusion. Thea’s voice drawing both their attention. Oliver dropped his arms from around her almost instantly, as Thea came forward.

“Look who made it!” Thea said, tugging a frightened looking Barry Allen toward them.

“Barry!” Felicity said pulling him into a hug, before remembering that Oliver was about to say something. “Just a second okay?” Barry nodded and she turned back toward Oliver. “Oliver? what did you want to say?”

Oliver stared absently past her until Thea nudged him. He shook his head and wiped his hands over his face before plastering a fake smile on his face. “It was nothing. Maybe another time.” He reached his hand out toward Barry. “It’s good to see you Allen. I didn’t know you were invited.”

Felicity frowned a the forced happiness Oliver was pulling. It seemed so unwarranted after the moments they’d just shared. He almost sounded offended that Barry had showed up.

Barry seeming none the wiser reached forward with a bright smile on his face, and shook Oliver’s outstretched hand. “I wasn’t, not formally, but Felicity had a plus one and she asked me to come,” Barry released Oliver’s hand and turned toward her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “So sorry I was late, I got here about forty minutes ago but ran into Caitlin and we chatted for a bit.”

“So glad you could make it,” Oliver said rocking on his heels before he met her gaze. “Well, I’ll see you in the office on Monday, Felicity. Have a wonderful weekend.”

With that he walked away. Thea’s head tilted as he left before looking in Felicity’s direction. “That was odd.”

Felicity shook her head, amazed at how just right Thea was. “Yeah, no clue.”

“Well I’m gonna go, I left Roy with one of the new interns to help Barry find you. I’ll be he needs some rescuing here soon,” Thea leaned in and hugged Felicity and moved back into the crowd.

“I hope I didn’t run him off,” Barry said, letting his arm slip away from Felicity. She looked up shaking her head.

“No, I think it had more to do with me than anyone else,” she shrugged, brushing it off to think about once she was back home. She chalked it up to another one of the many things she didn’t understand about Oliver lately. Instead she brought her focus back to Barry. “You’ll have to tell me all about your run in with Caitlin.”

It wasn’t long before the evening ended. Felicity would catch glimpses of Oliver, but she got the feeling he was purposely avoiding her.

\---F---

_“Felicity, darling can you babysit Livi, tomorrow?”_ Laurel asked as Felicity answered her phone.

She’d been so swamped with work the week before and missed out on her Livi fix and as much as she would have loved to babysit the next day there was no way it was happening. 

“You know I’d love to but I can’t!”

_“Thanks… wait… what?”_ Laurel’s shocked tone made Felicity cringe.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

_“Why?”_ Laurel asked sounding a little bit like a whine. Felicity could hear Livi starting to fuss on the other side of the line. Her pleas for ‘mama’ getting louder.

“I already made plans with Barry,” Felicity answered biting her lip, reminding herself she wasn’t a bad friend for saying no.

_“I thought you were ending that,”_ Laurel asked, surprise clear in her voice.

“We may have agreed that it would still be fun to just… you know…” She stopped talking because she knew there wasn’t a way she could explain what was going on between her and Barry.

_“Oh my god! Felicity Megan Smoak, you can not continue to have casual sex with that man!”_ Laurel scolded. _“Come here baby girl, it's bath time.”_ Felicity could hear Laurel pick up Livi, the toddler’s babbling was closer to the phone. Felicity smiled. _“Felicity, I thought we talked about this.”_

It wasn’t casual sex, but she didn’t need Laurel to know that. There hadn’t been any kind of sex, not since they finally had a talk about who they were hiding from. Barry was in love with Caitlin Snow, had been forever. It took running into her at the Applied Science opening party a month ago, for him to finally realize he wasn’t truly over her. Felicity had her own hang ups, though she wouldn’t voice them to anyone other than Barry at this point. Laurel had become so pushy after Livi’s birthday party.

“Ugh I know Laurel, but it’s not like we are harming anyone, and it’s really fun. Barry is a lot of fun. Don’t you remember casual sex?” Felicity lied, stuffing down the guilt that came with lying to her dearest and oldest friend.

_“I do, it’s what I did in my early twenties, it’s how I met Tommy, it’s also how you hide from commitment! Come on Felicity, I thought maybe you would try to get together with someone who wants something permanent.”_

Felicity scoffed into the phone as she stood up. Seemed they were going to have the ‘conversation’ again anyways. If they were going to have said ‘conversation’ yet again she was going to need wine. Lots and lots of wine. She moved toward the kitchen.

_“Look I know you’re a beautiful independent woman and you have a really bad past of guys leaving you but I’m sure there is at least one guy out-”_

“Do not say it Laurel!” Felicity snapped as she pulled out a wine glass, and uncorked her already opened bottle of wine, throwing the cork on to the counter and watched as it bounced off the wall. She could just hear it on the tip of Laurel’s tongue, she was going to bring up Queen yet again.

_“Say what Felicity,”_ Laurel too innocently asked into the phone. Felicity heard water come on in the background. Giggling from Livi and the clunking sounds of toys being added to the bathtub made Felicity smile despite her irritation at her best friend.

“You’re going to mention Queen… again. I don’t know why all of a sudden you’re pointing out that he’s still single, or that my contract with the Queens is just about up. I don’t need those things pointed out to me. He’s the catch of the damn century according to all the tabloids. But he’s still my damn boss, your husband’s best friend. Not to mention we are both Livi’s godparents!”

_“He’s only your boss for a couple more weeks right? Him being Tommy’s best friend isn’t a bad thing either, and as far as you guys being Livi’s god-”_

“Laurel, if you don’t stop I’m going to hang up,” Felicity snapped, done with the line of questioning and the way that Laurel was pushing her.

_“Okay okay, I’m sorry I’ll stop. Anyways, so you’re busy tomorrow,”_ Laurel backpedalled quickly.

Felicity drew in a and released a slow breath, trying to release some of the irritation she had at Laurel. She knew her best friend meant well, that she wanted Felicity to be happy. She just went about it the wrong way lately.

“Yes, I’m busy. Why don’t you see if Sara or Queen can do it? He loves any excuse to go play with Livi,” Felicity took a sip of her wine, letting the tartness play across her tongue before she swallowed. It was one that Oliver had left on her desk at work one day last week when he’d swung by but she wasn’t there. She’d have to remember to send him a thank you.

_“Sara is the reason we need a sitter, it’s her final performance before she leaves to go to New York. I asked Ollie but he has a dinner to go to with his parents and Thea I believe.”_

“Damn, that’s right. Roy is proposing tomorrow!” Felicity said absently into the phone before she could stop herself. Roy had sworn her to secrecy.

_“Oh my god!! I'm going to kill Tommy for not telling me!! Roy is going to propose?!! TOMMY!!”_ She could just see Laurel sitting on the floor in the bathroom while Livi played in the tub, screaming throughout the house. One of Tommy’s pet peeves.

“Hey!! Wait! Laurel!! I don’t think-” Felicity yelled into the phone, trying to get Laurel’s attention. “Laurel!”

_“What!?”_

“I don’t think Tommy knows,” Felicity said quickly.

_“Oh…”_ Laurel deflated instantly, and Felicity sighed in relief. _“Does Ollie know?”_

“No… that’s why I don’t think Tommy would know, unless Roy told him.”

_“So how do you.. Oh Roy told you?”_

“Yep, I’m pretty certain he will faint before he actually pops the question but… maybe he won’t, you never know,” Felicity smiled, remembering the night several months ago when Roy turned up on her doorstep with four pints of mint chip ice cream. He had polished off two and a half of them by himself before he’d finally agreed to go home and sleep. He was so worried Thea would say no. Felicity tried to reassure Roy that Thea would be crazy to say no.

_“What was all the screaming about?”_ Felicity heard Tommy say in the background, Laurel must have set the phone to speaker.

_“Oh just about a proposal.”_

_“Who is proposing?”_

**_“No one!”_** Both Laurel and Felicity said at once. Felicity closed her eyes, just picturing the look Tommy was probably sporting.

_“Right…”_

_“Anyways… I thought Tommy was going to puke when he asked me.”_ In the background Felicity could hear Tommy grumble something about votes of confidence, and at least he’d asked without stumbling over his tongue. “ _Just barely, babe. I love you.”_

_“Whatever, I’m going to go back to the game. Goodnight Felicity!”_

“Goodnight Tommy!”

Felicity grinned as she pulled her glass back to her lips. Laurel’s giggles came across the line, mixed with Tommy’s laughter. Felicity cleared her throat and she could hear Laurel telling Tommy to go back to his game.

_“Sorry Felicity,”_ Laurel apologized, her voice light and breathless.

“It’s okay.” It really was, Felicity lived for those little moments overheard, or witnessed from the other room at their house. They let her know that her best friend was truly happy.

_“Well I guess I’ll have to call the sitter, hopefully she’s available on such short notice. We kind of share her around the neighborhood.”_

Felicity sighed and wandered into her living room. A picture of Livi and her caught her eye. Felicity knew how sad Laurel had been since Sara announced her getting accepted to a company in New York. Her plans with Barry were just for tension release, they weren’t set in stone. 

“Well, if she's not available I can change my plans.”

_“Thank you Felicity!! I'll check with her first and then let you know. Love you!”_

“I love you too, Laurel!”

_“I'm gonna go, Livi likes to make quite the water mess.”_

“Oh I know! Give her a kiss goodnight for me!”

_“I will!”_

Laurel hung up and Felicity slid her phone onto the side table and picked up a picture of the three, taken when Livi was just a couple months old. It was amazing how things changed. Livi was now fourteen months old, and just starting to take steps. One noticeable difference was the added smile and laugh lines on Tommy and Laurel’s face.

Her phone vibrated, a picture of Livi in the bath, a soapy mohawk and her toothy grin as she stood in the center of the tub.

**_I have a sitter. Think about what I said. Barry may be fun but it isn’t ever going to go anywhere. Love ya._ **

_I’ll think about it. Ditto._

Felicity headed into her small office, she still had at least an hour of coding to do before she could turn in for the night. She swallowed back a gulp of wine, trying to bury the guilt of not being 100% truthful to her best friend.

\---F---

Felicity’s day had been a shit storm and started at three am. She dropped her body heavily onto the end of her bed as she chucked off her flats. It all started with a call that the climate control had failed in the server room at Applied Sciences. She managed to get a phone call into the building’s security team to go in and see what was going on as she threw clothes on.

Someone had cut power to the building without notifying the proper people, namely Felicity and Caitlin. The computers starting to overheat sent distress signals to Felicity and that was what woke her. Thankfully they only lost two of the servers, and learned of a fatal flaw in the coding. The machines should have sent a distress message to them, then immediately shut down. Instead the code had a flaw.

Felicity spent most of the day at Applied Sciences fixing what went wrong. Rewriting code until all the lines were running together. She had called Barry around noon to cancel their de-stress date, even though she could have really used it.

Felicity pulled her shirt over her head and threw it in the direction of her laundry hamper before heading into her bathroom to run a bath. She looked at her phone, it was after ten o’clock.

She finished stripping and slipped into her tub. The lavender mint scented bubbles doing wonders to settle her nerves. Felicity leaned her head back against the edge of her soaker tub and closed her eyes. She was just about asleep when her phone rang.

She didn’t bother to look at the caller ID, it was either Barry or Laurel. Laurel had sent her a text earlier saying she’d call her with all the details of Sara’s performance. She slid her damp finger across the screen to answer it.

“Hi.”

_“Hey there beautiful, are you home yet?”_ Barry’s voice came through the line making her smile.

“Yep, just slipped into the tub. What are you doing?” Felicity asked staring at her ceiling.

_“I am sitting in the car outside of Cait’s place,”_ Barry’s voice squeaked a little at the end, giving away his nervousness.

“Hey, that’s wonderful Barry!” Felicity grinned. Maybe he’d actually tell Caitlin how he felt about her. “You should go up and ring her doorbell, say Hi.” She tried to sound encouraging.

_“I don’t know. It’s been forever, and I really should just be happy with us being friends right?”_

“It’s up to you. I mean she’s not going to know until you tell her right?”

_“You’re right,”_ he sounded fully unconvinced. She knew how he felt.

“Or you could go home, play some Fallout and go to bed,” Felicity said with a chuckle as her second line beeped, “Barry one sec, that's my other line I'm expecting a call from Laurel.”

_“Yeah, no problem.”_

Felicity clicked over, assuming it was Laurel. “Hello chickadee, how was Sara's final performance?”

_“Miss Smoak?”_ A gruff male voice she didn’t recognize came across the line. Felicity startled, sitting up straight in her bath.

“Yes, that's me. Can I… How can I help you?” She asked, feeling her heart start to race a little, uncertain why someone she didn’t know would be calling so late in the evening.

_“Miss Smoak I'm Captain Greg Doorne, Starling Police Department. There's been an accident,”_ he said his voice lowering into a sympathetic drawl. Felicity felt her grip tighten on the phone.

“An accident?” She heard herself ask. Her mind supplying the little bit of information that Laurel still had yet to call, making her stomach turn.

_“Yes Ma’am, is there a way you could come down to Starling Memorial?”_

“I um...” Felicity breathed out and sucked in a breath that refused to fill her lungs. She couldn’t form full words past the lump in her throat. She hadn’t heard from Laurel since earlier in the day. She knew that she was listed as her emergency contact. Felicity felt like she was going to throw up. But maybe it was okay? Maybe they just needed her there.

_“Ma‘am, are you capable of coming down to the hospital. If not I can send an officer to pick you up,”_ the man’s voice finally filtered through the haze.

“No, no. I can come. I'll be right there.”

Felicity hung up the phone and was out of the tub, not even bothering to drain it.

Felicity pulled haphazardly into a parking spot and threw the car into park. She barely remembered to turn the car off before she was clambering out of it. The seatbelt cut angrily into her neck and chest as she forgot to take it off. She swore and slammed her car door once she was free.

She could barely breath as she ran toward the emergency entrance. Felicity vaguely recognized a motorcycle that was laying on it’s side half in a handicapped space as she drew close to the building. The doors glided open, the pungent odor of commercial grade cleaners hit her nose. All the tension and the reason she was there made her gag and bite her lip. She wouldn’t throw up.

“I’m Felicity Smoak! I was called, there was an accident. My friends they were in an accident Tommy and Laurel Merlyn,” she spoke to the tired looking nurse behind the intake desk.

The nurse stood and pointed down the hall to the left. “Thank you.”

She cleared the corner in time to see Quentin, Laurel’s father, slide to the floor, his hands covering his face. Oliver sat in a chair, he turned to look in her direction as she gasped. His eyes were red rimmed and Felicity felt as if the floor was falling out from under her.

“Are they…” she started, as she came to an abrupt halt. The doctor knelt down to Quentin’s level.

Oliver shook his head, tears slipping free. He coughed, gagged before his broken voice finally pushed through his lips. “They’re gone.”


	10. Oliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: Soo…. I know we all suffered quite a bit of pain on Wednesday and I hate to do this so soon after that but… I know you guys like timely updates. I toyed with waiting until Monday but figure people may need ya know… time. So anyways, have tissues handy. - Crissa

Oliver stood from his desk and stretched his limbs, they’d grown stiff from too many hours hunched over his desk. The morning had started early, much too early for the long day ahead. Felicity had called him personally from her car to get him to call security at the new Applied Sciences building. **  
**

Apparently someone had cut power to the whole building without authorization, triggering a massive problem in the IT department. Felicity had rambled on about heat and computer components, code not being written correctly and it wouldn’t happen again, that it would most likely take her all day to fix it. When he’d offered to come down and help she had laughed and told him to call security and hung up. He decided it wasn’t worth being offended over, he wouldn’t have been able to help and he’d learned it was best not to argue with Felicity over her computers.

The rest of the morning had dragged on slowly full of boring reports and a call to Central City. The building was just weeks away from finishing and the contractor wanted Oliver and his father to come out and do one more walk through. It felt like it had taken forever to get to this point.

The building finishing filled him with some trepidation, though he looked forward to having all the construction behind them, it meant that Oliver had to give his father an answer soon. The last time they were in Central City, just days after Livi’s first birthday, his father offered him the position as COO in Central City. Robert Queen explained that he preferred to have a Queen in position in the Central City office. It was the job that Oliver had wanted, dreamed about, but now he wasn’t so sure he was ready to leave Starling City.

Ever since coming clean to Laurel at Livi’s party about his feelings for Felicity he fought the urge to tell her. There had been so many moments he wanted to ask her out. He found himself staring at her, dissecting every conversation, examining every time they spent any time together. Maybe he was starting to see things that weren’t there, or maybe they were but she just wouldn’t acknowledge things were growing between them. Her rambles were coming back and the blushing. Small touches to his elbow or shoulder, lingering glances.

No he wasn’t ready to leave Starling. He didn’t want to take the job his dad wanted him to have if it meant turning his back the possibility of something with Felicity.

Oliver moved from his desk to look out over the city, it was overcast and raining today, which matched his mood. It had been a month of trying to get past himself and talk to Felicity. He had tried to tell Felicity how he felt about her at the party for the Applied Science building. But things didn’t go as he planned.

Barry Allen was an unwelcome surprise at the party, and to Oliver’s plans. Face to face with the man at the party unsettled him, reminded him that Felicity was involved with someone. He watched them the rest of the evening, trying to gauge how close the two were. They almost reminded him of how she was with Roy, like they were friends. It confused him. Even if they weren’t serious Barry was still someone who stood in his way. Jealousy was a new feeling for Oliver, and he didn’t like the way it made him feel.

The monday after the party he had planned to invite her to lunch but she had already had plans. He spent a lot of his time since then trying to find an in. But he’d clam up every time she mentioned Barry.

Oliver knew he needed to man up, find a way to tell her.

A knock on the door pulled him back from his thoughts, he turned away from the window to find his father standing in the doorway. Oliver groaned internally, he had forgotten that he had a meeting with him before his lunch with Tommy. He wasn’t ready to have the conversation he was sure his father wanted to have.

“Hi dad,” Oliver greeted, walking back toward his desk. It was a good a time as any to clean up his desk. Maybe if he looked busy his father would keep it short. “What’s up?”

Robert moved into the room and made his way over to the window, staring out over their city. “I just received word that we are needed in Central City by the end of next week to do a walk through. The building is just about done.”

“I know I just had a similar conversation with the contractor. It’s about time they got it finished,” Oliver said, standing at his desk he gathered a few of the reports he still had spread around his desk. He slipped them back into the folder to hand back to his assistant for when he left to go to lunch. “Then hopefully the rest of this year we can focus on leveling out. We’ve had a lot of growth over the last two years.”

“Yes we have. We’ve created a lot of new jobs, gained some highly valuable employees and branched into new projects. Expansion isn’t always easy but we have further secured the future of our company,” Oliver watched as his father turned back away from the window, leveling him with an inquisitive stare. It lasted only a moment before his father smiled at him. “We couldn’t have done it without your dedication and hard work.”

Oliver felt a rush of pride at his father’s compliment. “Thank you.”

Robert nodded before turning back around to look out the window and cleared his throat.

“With the building almost done, I’m going to need to finalize upper management,” his father’s words fell heavily in the space around them. Here came the conversation he didn't want to have this morning. “Oliver… son, have you decided whether you will take that position in Central City?”

Oliver felt his stomach clench, afraid that his answer would disappoint his father. So soon after having paid him a compliment. “I have thought about it, but… No, dad, I haven’t made a decision.”

“Hmm…,” His father turned toward him, his eyes searching Oliver for what he wasn’t sure. “Is your indecision because of feelings you have toward Felicity Smoak?”

Oliver felt this heart start to hammer in his chest. How could his father know? Had he been that obvious? His father stared at him expectantly.

“Yes,” Oliver said deciding to just be out with it, he was exhausted with trying to keep it at bay. His father wasn't someone he needed to keep it from anyways.

Robert gave a short nod and tucked one hand into his pocket. “Your mother thought as much after the opening party. I thought back over the last year and realized maybe she was on to something. Since the party I’ve observed how the two of you are here at work-”

“We’ve been professional, nothing but business,” Oliver said quickly, hoping his father didn’t think something was already going on.

“I didn’t say I thought something was going on, just that I’d observed how the two of you are together,” his father smiled and waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll be honest, I was a little disappointed when you and Isabel ended things. It seemed like a pretty good match, especially after her moving to Central City. I had fully expected with as long as you two were together that it would culminate with your wedding.”

“We just didn’t see eye to eye on things,” Oliver said, sitting down in desk chair, watching his father. Isabel was a hard and fast no for kids, and Oliver wasn't going to give up on that dream.

“I heard, your mother filled me in,” Robert said as he moved over and sat down in one of the chairs across from Oliver’s desk. “I’m relieved that you know what you want, and aren’t willing to compromise on it. With that in mind I’m willing to fill the position with someone else. The board has already put together a stack of candidates other than you. I just want you to know that if you find you do want it, it’s yours.”

Oliver stared at his father, relief flooding through him. Robert didn’t seem disappointed, Oliver saw nothing but the same pride his father had earlier.

“Thank you dad,” he finally said, Robert nodded and stood.

“I just want you to be happy Oliver, that’s all your mother and I have ever wanted for you and your sister,” his hand smoothed over his suit jacket. “You are going to be at dinner tonight?”

Oliver remembered Thea’s text just the night before reminding him that they had a family dinner scheduled for that evening. “Yeah, Thea reminded me last night.”

“Good, then I’ll see you later.”

His father left the office, Oliver standing a moment later as he noticed the time, grabbing the folder to follow his father out. He was due to meet Tommy for lunch. His steps were lighter, the burden of having one less worry lifted from his shoulders.

\---O---

“McDonald’s?” Oliver asked as he sat in a red plastic booth, a chicken sandwich, fries and a coke in front of him. Tommy was removing Livi’s pink hoodie as she giggled and squirmed trying to free herself, her eyes set on the small play structure.

“Yeah, the babysitter was sick, so Laurel took Livi to work this morning, I get her this afternoon,” Tommy answered setting Livi down onto the floor. She took two steps before dropping into a crawl, able to get around much faster that way. Three other children sped past her as they headed for the stairs. “Which should be fun. I'm hoping she'll play herself out and nap for a while.”

“Don’t you worry about them trampling her?” Oliver asked as he grabbed up a fry and popped it in his mouth. He felt his heart trip when Livi’s hand was almost stepped on.

“She’s tough, like her mom,” Tommy answered back grabbing one of his own fries.

They must have looked like quite the pair, two grown men in nicely tailored business suits, sitting in a children’s play scape at McDonald’s. Their original plans had been to eat at their favorite chinese place, but it would have been a nightmare with Livi in tow.

Oliver watched as the little one climbed the stairs, yelling out an unintelligible string as a little boy bigger than her pushed past her to get to the slide. He made to get up and Tommy just chuckled shaking his head.

“Don't worry she's got this,” Tommy said taking a drink from his soda. “So brother, what's new?”

“Not much, just trying to stay above water. How are things with you guys?”

“Good, we have that thing to go to tonight for Sara. Honestly, as much as I know Laurel is sad that Sara is moving to New York, I can’t wait for her to go,” Tommy said shaking his head. “Don’t tell Laurel I said that.”

“I wouldn’t dare, I like being alive man.” Both men chuckled.

“Laurel messaged me yesterday asking if I could watch Livi for you guys, but it was after Thea reminded me about dinner tonight with the family. Is Felicity going to watch her?” Oliver asked before popping another fry in his mouth. Maybe if he got done early at the dinner he could swing by and help with putting Livi to bed.

“No, we set up with the neighborhood one. I guess Felicity has plans,” Tommy replied before turning to look for his daughter.

Oliver took a bite from his sandwich to keep from asking his best friend if he knew what those plans were. They sat quietly and ate their lunch. Tommy’s eyes darting over every little bit to watch Livi. He looked up to see Tommy’s eyes crinkle as he smiled wide. Oliver followed his friend’s gaze. Livi sat on the steps playing peekaboo with another girl through the slats, giggling.

“Did you make that decision yet?” Tommy asked breaking their silence, crumpling up his burgers wrapper and shoving it into his empty fry container.

“Which one?” Oliver asked, there were at least two that came to mind. One had been settled with his father today, the other was Felicity and that was still very much a gray matter.

“You dad’s offer. Think you’ll be moving to Central City?” Tommy’s voice sounded thin. He didn’t like the idea of Oliver leaving Starling City, they’d been best friends for longer than he could remember. Oliver’s moving would be the first time they would be farther than across town apart.

“No, not for the foreseeable future. Dad and I talked about it today, he’s going to look into filling it with someone else,” Oliver answered turning sideways in the seat as Livi crawled back toward their table.

“That’s good. So we won’t have to have a farewell party for you after all,” Tommy said with a chuckle.

Livi pulled herself up and slapped at Oliver’s legs. “Up… up…” Oliver leaned forward and pulled her up onto his lap.

“Hey munchie! When did you learn to say ‘up?”

“She started saying it a few days ago, so she says ‘hi’ ‘bye’ and ‘up’. Other than mama and dada,” Tommy said watching as Oliver lifted Livi above his head.

Oliver loved making her giggle. Her smile wide and bright as she brought her hands to her mouth to squeal as he lifted her, tossing her up just barely leaving his hands. It was hard to remember a time when she wasn't around.

“I thought only Felicity called her ‘munchie’,” Tommy observed and Oliver stilled, he hadn’t even realized what he’d called her.

He’d asked Felicity once during one of their team ups why she called her munchie. Felicity had explained it was because she was so scrumptious. She loved to snuggle into Livi’s neck and act like she was munching on her. The giggles that always resulted would brighten any cloudy day.

Oliver pulled Livi into his lap, her blue eyes sparkling as she tried to stand back up, fussing that he had stopped. Obviously she wasn’t ready to stop being lifted into the air. Oliver turned to look at Tommy. He gave a noncommittal shrug and turned back to let Livi hug him. He blew a raspberry into her neck as she screamed and struggled to get down.

“So, have you talked to Felicity yet?”

“No,” Oliver answered simply. Laurel had kept his secret for less than 24 hours. But she'd only told Tommy which he had planned to do anyways. They’d had a lengthy discussion that went along the same lines as his and Laurel’s. Then Tommy had dropped it and this was the first time he’d brought it up.

“Why not Ollie?” Tommy eyed him from across the table.

“Because she’s with Allen. Telling her how I feel would make things weird, she doesn’t deserve to have that kind of pressure put on her.”

“That’s the biggest line of bullshit I’ve ever heard you try to sell,” Tommy grumbled and picked up Livi as she made her way to him. She rubbed her eyes before pressing her face into Tommy’s neck. “I think you’re afraid that she’s going to reject you. Which I can’t even wrap my head around because I’ve never known you to be afraid of anything.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Tommy! I can’t compete with her having a boyfriend, or that she is so hung up on working for my father right now. Nevermind that she’s simply a contractor and not a real employee,” Oliver fisted his hand in his lap trying to keep his frustration at bay. “Okay, and yes… maybe I’m a little afraid she’s going to reject me. I haven’t been so hung up on a girl ever and it scares me how badly I want her. Not to mention we haven’t exactly had the best track record.”

Tommy was quiet a moment, watching as Oliver tried hard to reign in all his bottled up frustration over something that seemed so juvenile. Why did love have to make you so crazy?

“Sorry man, Felicity can be a bit stubborn about things,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “For what it’s worth, and again, don’t tell Laurel I told you this, but she’s not with Allen,” Tommy offered quietly, rubbing his daughter’s back. She poked her finger at his chin before pulling her thumb into her mouth. Eyes drooping.

“What do you mean? Not with him?” Oliver asked watching his friend closely. He was more confused now than ever. That could have been useful information months ago.

“Look, they’re friends. All I know is that any time Laurel has mentioned Barry being her boyfriend Felicity’s been really firm and quick to deny it. She’s never done that before. Not that I’ve witnessed anyway.”

Oliver let what Tommy was saying settle over him, staring at the table. Barry and Felicity just friends? Maybe friends with benefits now that he thought about it. Hadn’t he just had a similar relationship with Makenna?

Tommy shifted, drawing Oliver’s eyes back to him. Livi was sound asleep on his shoulder, her thumb slightly falling out from her perfectly pink lips. Oliver loved watching his best friend with his daughter. Fresh longing turned in his chest.

“Ollie, I don’t think you have anything to be afraid of. Laurel knows Felicity pretty well, and if she’s fighting for you like she’s been I’d say she sees something in Felicity that makes it worth her agitating her best friend,” Tommy commented, rubbing his hand over his daughter’s back.

Oliver cleared his throat. “I think I’ll try to tell her this weekend.”

“You should,” Tommy said as his watch chimed. “Damn, it’s time to head back to the office. At least she’s asleep now.”

Oliver slid out of the booth and helped clear their trash. Tommy laid Livi on the table on top of her hoodie and worked her sleep limp arms into the sleeves. Oliver gathered the rest of their things, tucking them into the diaper bag as Tommy slowly lifted the zipper on Livi’s hoodie.

“Thanks Tommy,” Oliver said as Tommy lifted Livi back to his shoulder, Oliver handed him the diaper bag.

“Yeah, us menfolk have to stick together, thanks for understanding the need to change plans.”

“I enjoy seeing her. Sorry I can’t help you guys out tonight.”

“It’s all good man. Be glad you didn’t get roped into having to go. Last performance, thank god,” Tommy said with a chuckle. Oliver knew how boring Tommy found ballet stuff.

As they wandered out toward their cars he wondered how his friend would feel when Livi decided she wanted to be a ballerina just like her aunt Sara. He smiled watching Tommy strap his sleeping daughter into her carseat. He was pretty sure when the time came Tommy wouldn’t remember how boring it was.

\---O---

Oliver dragged himself into his apartment, throwing his keys into the bowl that sat on a small table in his entry way. That dinner had been nice until that rat Roy proposed to his baby sister. A quick look around the table told him that his father must have known since he wasn’t showing nearly as much outrage as a father ought to. He groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. He was happy for them but wouldn’t openly admit it. Not yet.  

His little sister who was 11 years younger than him was engaged. That wasn’t something Oliver saw coming. He swallowed bitterly as he loosened his tie and shrugged out of his leather jacket, dropping it over the back of an armchair as he passed heading toward his bedroom.

He was going to shower and go to bed. It didn’t matter that it was only just after eight o’clock. After being woken up by Felicity at four in the morning, and all the emotional hits the day had taken he was ready for it to be over.

Unbuttoning his button up he slid it off and dropped it on the end of his bed. He felt his jeans pockets for his phone and frowned. With a tired shake of his head he’d remembered it was in his jacket pocket and likely on silent.

Oliver dragged his feet back toward the living room and pulled out his phone. Two missed calls from his assistant, likely information about his flights for the next week. He sighed ignoring them and looked at the two missed messages from Tommy instead.

**Bro I’m bored outta my mind. This thing won’t end.**

**Survived just barely. Laurel’s car didn’t though, not sure what’s up it just won’t start. Should have listened to her and got her a new one for Christmas.**

It had only been sent twenty minutes ago. Oliver switched his phone off silent and sent a text asking if they needed a ride. He watched as it delivered and was read immediately and it looked like Tommy was working on a reply.

**Nah, Sara’s driving us back now, she skipped her party, since we need to get back to Livi. Shouldn’t be too much longer. How’d dinner go?**

**_That rat Roy proposed. My baby sister is engaged. How nuts is that?_ **

Oliver dropped heavily onto his couch, reaching for the TV remote he turned it on. He flipped through channels until he found a sport channel, basketball, as he waited for Tommy to answer him back. He leaned his head back against the couch, watching as the ball and players moved from one end of the court to the other. His brain too exhausted to really follow the game.

Moments later Oliver was jolted awake by the shrill sound of his phone ringing. Tommy’s name popped up on the screen, he answered it as he wiped a hand over his face.

“Hey man, you guys make it home?” Oliver grumbled tiredly into the phone. He looked across the room at the clock on the wall, it read five after nine. He’d been asleep longer than he thought.

“ _Hello is this Ollie?_ ” A woman’s voice came across the line, causing Oliver to sit up straight. He pulled the phone away from his ear and verified it was Tommy’s number that had called him. Why was a woman using Tommy’s phone?

“Yes. Who the is this?”

 _“Hi my name is Amy, I’m a medic with the Starling City Fire Department. There has been an accident. Are you related to Tommy Merlyn?”_ the woman said with an urgent authoritative edge.

Oliver’s nerves rattled at her words. “Yes, I’m his brother,” he lied smoothly.

_“Sir, he’s suffered extensive injuries. We are extricating him from the car now-”_

“Where are you taking them? Is everyone else okay?” Oliver was on his feet, reaching for his jacket.

 _“I can’t give you any information on the other two at this time. I’m only tasked with dealing with his information. He’s not very lucid, we found his a med alert bracelet on his wrist, but the engraving is worn.  Can you shed some light on that for us?”_ she spoke quickly into the phone. Oliver could just barely hear the sound of others shouting in the background the loud sound of something grinding on metal.

Oliver felt himself falter as he slipped his jacket on and reached for his motorcycle helmet. “He has an anaphylaxis response to penicillin and lidocaine,” he rattled off the information that he’d know about since they were children. He’d forgotten all about Tommy even having to wear a medical alert bracelet for it. It seemed so unimportant to the fact that he’d been in a car accident, that they were extricating him from a car. “Where are you taking them?” he repeated once more into the phone.

 _“Thank you that’s very helpful. They will be taking him to Starling Memorial,”_ Amy finally answered back into the phone.

“Thank you,” Oliver said, zipping his jacket and grabbing his key from the hook.

 _“Don’t thank me yet. Be safe,”_ the line clicked dead as Oliver pulled it away from his ear and zipped it into his pocket.

Adrenaline had him pulling up into the hospital’s emergency parking lot in record time as an ambulance with full sirens and lights pulled up before he could cut the engine. Oliver yanked the key off and pulled it free. He launched himself from the bike, cringing a moment later when it fell to the ground. But he was already sprinting toward the back of the ambulance.

The driver came around to the back, making him back up as he opened the doors. Oliver felt his heart stop as not Tommy but Laurel was wheeled out of the back, a male paramedic kneeling over her on the gurney, administering chest compressions. He felt his mind click off as two nurses and a doctor met them at the sliding doors.

Oliver felt like time stood still as he stared at the closed doors. He couldn’t will himself to go inside the hospital. He didn’t want to accept what he’d just seen, but he couldn’t make his mind stop replaying it in his mind.

Moments later the driver came running out of the hospital, distant sirens approaching as he moved to the ambulance to pull it forward. The sirens cut off as a second ambulance pulled into the drive. Oliver stared, his heart hammering in his chest, drawn forward, wondering if Tommy was in this one.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a cop car with its lights blazing pull into the parking lot. The back of the ambulance opening drew his eyes back and his heart seized in his chest as he stepped forward. Three medics worked to pull the gurney from the back of the ambulance a doctor and nurse from the hospital joined them.

“Is that Tommy?” A voice startled Oliver to his right. He turned to see Laurel’s father, Quentin Lance, coming toward him.

Oliver nodded, he bit his lip against the knowledge that Quentin had just missed watching them take a coding Laurel through the doors. They turned in time to see Tommy being rushed through the same sliding doors.

A woman shorter than Oliver by at least a foot came toward him. “Are you Ollie?”

He tried to use his voice but his throat felt as if it were in a vice so he nodded instead. “And you?” She’d turned toward Laurel’s dad.

“I’m Quentin Lance, my daughter’s were with the one you just wheeled in. Have they arrived yet? Are they okay?” he rattled off, advancing on her, his tone rough as if he was barely holding it together.

“I’m Amy,” she made to reach out toward them but changed her mind at the last moment. “Here let’s get you inside, see what information we can get for you.”

They followed. Oliver’s stomach churned as he followed her in, they were led to a set of chairs in a quiet hallway. He fell into one of the chairs, the recent events too much for his exhausted body. A nurse told them she would try to find out what was going on and would be right back.

Quentin paced back and forth in the space. Oliver watched as his feet moved back and forth in front of him, the replay of Laurel being wheeled in playing over and over in his mind. He refused to look up at her father.

“Quentin?” a male voice drew both their attention. A uniformed officer had entered their hallway.

“Greg, what are you doing here?” Quentin asked obviously knowing the officer. The other man’s face paled. Then Oliver watched as he stood straighter. He could see when the man switched from just knowing Quentin on a personal level and tried to detach.

“I’m here because…” Oliver watched as he swallowed and collected himself. “I was the first responder to the scene.”

“What happened?”

“A semi crossed the centerline and… Quentin, maybe you should sit down,” the officer, Greg, motioned toward the seat next to Oliver.

“No, come out with it or so help me…” Quentin glared at the other man. Oliver watched helplessly.

A long sight left the officer then he straightened, back to business. “The semi crossed the centerline and struck your daughter’s car head on. Her model wasn’t equipped with airbags but at fifty miles an hour we aren’t sure that… We believe that Sara was killed on contact as she was the one driving.”

Quentin fell into the chair. Oliver felt as if he were listening to everything from inside a vacuum. He fixed his gaze on as the officer explained the scene to them. Oliver couldn’t bear to listen too closely.

The officer stepped away, and they just waited. It felt like forever before a doctor came to talk to them. Quentin had stood up, his grief over Sara already visible as he couldn’t stand fully erect. Oliver couldn’t bring himself to stand at all.

He listened with a buzz increasing at the back of his skull as the doctor explained they’d done everything they could. Their injuries had been too extensive. Oliver tuned out, what did it matter. They were gone and that was the end of it. Quentin slid to the floor.

A gasp from his left down the corridor had him looking in that direction.

Felicity’s pale face and panicked eyes met his. “Are they…”

Her voice trailed off and he shook his head. God how was he supposed to tell her. He felt his wetness slip over his cheeks for the first time, knocked loose from the motion perhaps. He tried to tell her, he choked, his throat closed tight and dry. Then he forced the words from his throat.

“They’re gone.”

He watched as the words hit her. Saw her start to sway. He stuffed all his energy into the motion and was out of the seat, the four long strides it took to get to her felt like he was moving through sludge. She fell into his arms as a sob left her.

“No Oliver… no they can’t be!” her fingers dug into his arms as she leaned back and shook her head.

“Felicity…” he started to say, but he cut off as his own chest constricted. He shook his head, closing his eyes. He couldn’t speak. The unbidden image of Laurel flashed behind his eyelids and he snapped his eyes open. Felicity buried her face in his neck and cried. He held onto her tightly, unsure what to do now.

A moment later she was pulling herself from him. Struggling to stand up. “Livi!”

Oliver groaned as a wave of nausea came over him at the idea of her no longer having Tommy or Laurel. How was Quentin going to deal with that? How would they handle it?

“Where is she?!” She demanded of him. He shook his head.

“I don’t-”

“How do you not KNOW!!!” Felicity was near hysterical and Oliver swallowed hard, searching to earlier trying hard to move past the block he’d been constructing. A fresh lick of pain washed over him as he remembered lunch just that afternoon with Tommy. He flinched and shook his head.

“The babysitter, probably at home,” He forced out and Felicity was moving past him.

“Quentin,” she approached him, all business. He didn’t know how she was holding it together. He wanted to find the nearest bottle of tequila or rum and drown himself. “Quentin, I’m going to get Olivia. Where’s Sara?”

Oh god, she didn’t know. Quentin stared back at her, unseeing.

“Quentin!” She said his name forcefully and Oliver dug deep, stood up off the floor and took her arm and started pulling her away.

“Felicity, we’ll go get Livi. Quentin… he needs time,” he choked out and Felicity looked back and forth between them. He wondered if she even felt the constant drip of tears that ran down her face. “Come on.”

As he turned her away from the doctor and Quentin the officer from earlier rounded the corner. He made eye contact with Oliver.

“Can you help him?” Oliver asked, nodding over his shoulder. As his wall fortified around the pain that was beating against his ribs he found himself able to think clearer. Felicity was right, they’d need to get to Livi.

“Yes,” the officer stopped reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card handing it to Oliver. “Oliver Queen right?” Oliver nodded. “I’ll get in touch with you soon. Stay close to your phone.”

Outside Oliver righted his motorcycle so he wouldn’t get ticketed or towed. He’d find a way to pick it up later. He followed Felicity to her car, taking the keys from her. They drove in silence toward Tommy and Laurel’s house. The closer they got the harder he found it to breathe.

Felicity’s phone ringing made them both jump. She fumbled it out of her cupholder and answered it.

“Yes… Yes, I’m Felicity Smoak…..No you can’t- But I’m on my way there now…. Why… no she’s never not slept at her house, in her own bed. Please….” Felicity growled frustrated. “FINE fine!”

She threw her phone in the vicinity of her cup holder and stared out the window breathing rapidly. Her hands were tight fists in her lap. Oliver wanted to ask her what that was about. It had to be about Livi but what.

“Where is Sara?” She finally said. Oliver flinched away from her, it wasn’t easy in the small cabin of her car. He rolled to a stop at a stop sign and drew in a shaky breath.

“She was driving,” Oliver said as he breathed out. He watched Felicity closely and she closed her eyes.

“But… I don’t… I don’t understand. Is she?” Oliver chewed the inside of his lip and stared straight ahead, pulling forward away from the stop. He couldn’t say the words. Just left the air empty. Felicity was smart enough to work it out for herself, she sucked in a breath. “Oh god.”

She bent over and sobbed into her hands. He let her cry as he finished the drive to their friends’ house. He wasn’t expecting it to be fully dark, looming above them as he parked in their driveway. Weerily he turned the car off and sat back.

“Who was on the phone?” He asked his voice soft, barely a whisper.

Felicity sat up, used the edge of her shirt to wipe her wet face. She sucked in a few steadying breaths as she looked out the window at the house. She looked toward him and sighed, finally having collected herself.

“Child Protective Services. They’ve taken Livi to protective custody overnight. I guess they picked her up shortly after…” Felicity’s teeth clacked together. She sucked in a slow breath through them and shook her head. Like him unable to put what happened in words. “They’ll call us in the morning when we can pick her up.”

They sat quietly in the car for a few more minutes. “Do you want me to take you home?”

Felicity shook her head and reached for the door handle. He did the same and exited the car. The last thing he wanted to do was go into that house, but he didn’t want to go home alone either.

\---O---

Oliver woke on the couch to the sound of glass shattering. He pulled himself up off the couch. His eyes felt like sandpaper and his head pounded. The events over the last several hours taking their toll. He headed toward the kitchen, where he thought he heard the noise come from.

“Felicity?” he asked as he rubbed at his eyes. He heard a sniffle from the far side of the island. The cabinets were open, dishes sat all over the counter. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing… I’m sorry I woke you,” she said standing up, holding pieces of broken glass in her hand. Tears ran unchecked down her face. She turned her face away.

“Have you slept?”

“No.”

“Felic-”

“NO,” she yelled and slammed the glass down in the sink. He moved around the island, careful of the shards of glass still on the floor. He reached for her and she jumped away. “Please don’t touch me.”

“Felicity I just want to help,” he whispered, feeling his own eyes start to tear. “It’s all going to be fine.”

A harsh laugh that turned into a choking cough left Felicity as she turned to glare at him.

“Fine?! Oliver nothing is ever going to be fine again!” She spat the words at him. “Two weeks Oliver! I hadn’t seen her in two weeks… two weeks…” her voice trailed off and Oliver stared at her. She sucked in huge gulps of air.

“Breathe Felicity…” he murmured, longing to reach out to her. She shook her head and sobbed.

“No… two weeks and I’ll never ever get to see her again,” she groaned and bent down to pick up pieces of glass. Her sobs started to shake her body. Oliver knelt down, careful of the glass and reached for her. She fell into his arms and he pulled her close to him.

“Livi is never going to know how wonderful her parents were,” she sobbed into his neck. Oliver squeezed her, his own grief pouring over as he cried into her shoulder.

They stayed there on the floor until Felicity fell asleep still pressing her face into his chest. He leaned back against the cabinet and joined her exhausted and too weak to move them off the floor.


	11. Felicity

**  
**Felicity startled awake out of a bad dream. She blinked her eyes open to see the familiar cream colored ceiling of Laurel and Tommy’s living room above her, the soft supple leather of their couch under her. Fresh tears suddenly prickled at the corners of her eyes and her stomach rolled violently. She sat up and put her head between her knees. **  
**

If only it were all just a bad dream, it was far worse, it was a living nightmare. Tommy, Laurel and Sara were gone.

Felicity could feel the panic from earlier settling over her once again, she squeezed her eyes tightly closed and focused her breathing. She bit her lip against the sob that tried to pry itself from her body. She had never felt so out of control.

She wrapped her arms under her legs and concentrated on breathing. She felt like her heart was fractured, barely beating properly in her chest. The pain radiated through her, clear to her finger tips and toes. It took her several long minutes before she felt like she wasn’t going to burn alive there on the couch.

Felicity forced her mind to think of something else, anything else. One of her surefire ways to  calm herself was to think of Livi. Her go to memory, which wasn’t one that included Laurel, was Livi giggling at nine months old while Oliver laid on the floor and held Livi aloft. The way her little dimples had come out as she giggled and her bright eyes stared down at Oliver. Felicity loved the way the baby girl could just sound so excited about something so simple.

It was such a happy little memory.

Until Felicity's mind betrayed her as she thought of all the other happy little memories there wouldn’t be now because Little Olivia Megan Merlyn would grow up without… She stopped her train of thought and doubled up her effort at controlling the burn in her chest and stomach.

Minutes later, though it felt like hours, feeling like she wouldn’t wretch all over their living room, Felicity stood and focused on reaching the bathroom. She relieved herself then stood in front of the sink. She braced herself on the porcelain sink, fingers clenching onto the cold smooth surface, trying so hard to hold herself together. Her eyes fell on a bottle of Laurel’s favorite perfume. Her throat instantly constricted, her heart trying to claw it’s way up her throat.

She averted her eyes, exhaling out on a shuddered breath, before turning on the tap. Focus on the task at hand, she thought to herself. She washed her hands as she lifted her eyes up, she startled at her reflection. She looked terrible. Felicity looked pale, dark rings under her eyes, giving away her lack of real sleep in the last twenty four hours. She splashed water on her face and caught sight of a yellow something on one of her hands. A now wet, snoopy bandage was wrapped around one of of her fingers.

The memory of her smashing a glass in anger came rushing back to her, and her following outburst. She felt her heart beat faster at Oliver having had to witness her melt down. Felicity closed her eyes, she must have cut herself and he put the bandaid on at some point afterward. She didn’t remember it happening though, just like she didn’t remember how she’d made it to the couch.

She fixed her ponytail before drying her face with the hand towel. She left the bathroom and headed toward the kitchen, hoping to find Oliver so she could apologize. She needed to find her phone, hoping that she hadn’t already missed the call to go pick up Livi.

She entered the kitchen expecting to see the dishes she’d washed still sitting on the counter but they’d all been put away. All traces of the glass she’d broken gone, the kitchen spotless, save for one red coffee mug near the coffee pot. The smell of coffee hung in the air.

Felicity moved to the coffee pot, the carafe was half full. The clock on the face told her it was just after eight am. She lifted the mug and filled it with black coffee, it wasn’t all that warm but it didn’t matter, she just needed the caffeine.

Looking up, she spotted Oliver out on the deck through the back window. With her mug in hand she made her way onto the back deck, as she came around his chair she found him asleep. She took the moment to look him over. His feet were propped up on the chair in front of him, one arm banded across his chest, fingers wrapped over the bicep of his other arm, as it laid across his lap, his mostly empty coffee mug tilting on his thigh.

Idly the thought of why he’d be out on the deck instead of inside sleeping in the guest room flitted at the edge of her mind, of course she knew why. Even now she found it was easier to breathe outside. The house was loaded with all the things that made up their best friends’ lives. Too full of memories.

Setting her mug down on the table she turned to pull his from his hand. Oliver shifted and made a small hum sound as his fingers fell away from the mug, hand falling palm up onto his lap. With a deep sigh he settled back with a soft snore. She set his cup next to hers never taking her eyes off his face.

Felicity had witnessed Oliver asleep before, little cat naps with Livi cuddled next to him on the couch or rocking chair. He had always look so relaxed and soft around the edges. This was not that… no this was different, he looked haunted. His brow was marred by a deep crease, a grimace on his lips. She wondered what he was dreaming about that had his eyes moving rapidly beneath his eyelids, his breathing picking up.

Before she realized what she was doing she’d reached forward and slid her fingers softly across his brow. Amazed as his breathing steadied, the crease in his brow slowly smoothing out as her fingers moved across his skin, down over his temple. The grimace on his lips thinned as his lips parted slightly.  

Felicity wished that none of this had happened.

Looking at Oliver she wondered what would happen now. Quentin would get Livi, being her last living relative. Felicity would offer to help him as much as she could, because a life without Livi too would be too much to bear.

What would Oliver want?

Without the influence of their friends would he still want to remain friends with her? Even the contract between her and QC would be up soon. But the idea of not having him in her life suddenly hurt.  They’d gotten off to such a rough start in the beginning. Willingly hurting each other just because they could. Then they’d found some form of truce. She found they could be mostly friendly.

But lately…

Felicity hadn’t wanted to give a word to her feelings about Oliver. Laurel had told her she was the biggest liar sometimes, and that she sucked at it. Laurel was always right. Lately she’d lied about so many things. She’d lied about Barry. She lied about it being enough. She’d lied about her feelings toward Oliver. She’d lied to herself the most.

She smoothed her fingers down over his cheek, loving the soft prickle of his stubble against her palm as she ran her thumb over his cheekbone. She had known back when Livi was nine months old that she was in trouble because some part of her wanted him. It hadn’t gotten any easier over the last several months, no matter how she tried to deny it, or fill her time with distractions.

Now hell was upon them, everything would be different.

Oliver’s eyes popped open, he blinked a few times before he held them open to look at her. She had never been this close to him before except when dancing, leaning over him as he sat in the chair, she could see the different shades of blue in his irises as he stared up at her. She had never once touched his face before. The realization had her pulling her hand back.

“Hey,” he said on a exhale of breath, the ghost of a smile on his lips. She found herself smiling back briefly.

“Hi,” she said softly, biting her lip, his eyes dropped to look at her mouth then back up to her eyes. The playful smirk that tugged at his lip made her wonder what he’d just been dreaming of. It seemed so out of place given their current state.

“Hm… What are you…” Oliver trailed off as his eyes moved from her to search their surroundings. All too soon, the smile was gone, the haunted look returned. Oliver shifted suddenly, pulling his feet down and sitting up more fully in the seat, forcing her to back up. She recognized this reaction, though it wasn’t as violent as hers had been. At least it didn’t appear to be. He took in a shaky breath as he ran his hands over his face. “What time is it?”

“Just after eight.”

Oliver groaned and nodded. Felicity sat down on the chair across from him and watched him. He rubbed his hands across his thighs before meeting her gaze. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“Don’t apologize Oliver.”

He shook his head and averted his eyes. “Um… the officer called earlier.”

“When? What did he say?” Felicity asked instantly wondering why Oliver hadn’t woken her. “You should have!”

“You were clearly tired, after everything, I thought you should sleep if you could. He got Quentin home, said that To- that Child Protective Services had called their lawyer and we were to all meet them down at their office at ten today. That they would bring Livi there,” he finished, still waking up. Felicity slumped back into her chair. “He said that he tried to call you but you didn’t answer. I think we left your phone in the car.”

Felicity nodded, remembering her conversation with the lady from CPS. She’d been so angry that they’d taken her to a foster home overnight. “I hate that we have to wait. Why do you think the lawyer wants to meet with us? Wouldn’t he just deal with Quentin? Tommy does- didn’t have any family right?”

“No, my parents were his legal guardians until he was 18, after that he didn’t have anyone,” Oliver explained. “They were both lawyers, Felicity. I imagine they had some kind of plans or a will maybe, I don’t know.”

They fell silent as they sat there. Felicity hadn’t thought of that. The idea of putting together a will made her shudder. The only person in Felicity’s life that would get anything upon her death would be her mother.

Felicity picked at the bandaid on her hand and looked back up to find Oliver studying her. A strange expression settled on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, thinking about her behavior in the kitchen all those hours ago. “About lashing out at you… before in the kitchen. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that.”

Oliver sighed and shook his head. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. I can only imagine what hell you’re in right now. I’m the last person who will judge you. I’m barely holding myself together.” It tugged at her heart to hear his voice break at the end, looking away from her.

Felicity nodded, a tear spilling free, she quickly brushed it away only to have more tip over. “I never imagined anything li-”

“Who could have imagined something like this was going to happen? No one could know it was coming,” Oliver said softly, sliding forward on his chair, his hands reaching across the short distance between them. He looked down at her hands in her lap, one of his moving closer. “May I?”

Felicity nodded and let him slip his hand over hers, his thumb rubbed over her knuckles. Her chest tightened at how soothing it was to have just that little bit of contact. She felt tears drip off her chin onto her pant leg.

“It’s okay Felicity, to be upset about this, to be angry even,” Oliver whispered, his voice broken. Felicity brought her blurry tear filled eyes up to look into his. Tears slid silently down his cheeks. “There isn’t any wrong way to respond to the death of the ones you love. So don’t ever apologize for feeling something beyond your control.”

“I know,” she returned on a sob. “I just -”  
“Hey, come here,” Oliver tugged her hand and she moved easily allowing him to pull her into his lap. He rubbed the back of her neck as he held her close, nose buried in his shoulder. He held her long after she’d cried herself out, until it was time to face the outside world.

\--F--

“I don’t understand why you won’t let us see her! Quentin is her grandfather, you won’t even let him see her! He’s her blood!” Felicity grumbled in her loud voice, thrusting her hand in the direction of where Laurel’s father sat slumped in a chair. The social worker just blinked at her. She couldn’t remember the woman’s name, but she didn’t care. Her nerves were like a live wire as she paced back and forth in front of the woman’s desk. “She’s never been with anyone but family or her babysitter, she must be so afraid. Oliver please… talk to this woman.”

She looked over at Oliver looking for him to say something. He was sitting in the chair beside Quentin, the one he’d tried to force her into when they’d arrived. Felicity couldn’t sit down. Livi had been in CPS custody for far too long. Laurel would have had a fit.

“Ma’am, is there any way that we could speed this up? Or maybe could she just see her with supervision?” Oliver asked finally.

“I’m so sorry Miss Smoak and Mr Queen. The lawyer requested seeing you both before you guys saw Olivia. We have to put the child first and follow certain protocols,” the woman explained, a sad expression on her face.

“Screw you and your protocols!” Felicity growled and stalked toward the window. She looked out unseeing, so angry at everything. She was tired of waiting, she wanted to pull that little girl into her arms and love on her. Livi was the last piece of her best friend and she needed her. Felicity swallowed an angry sob that tried to bubble up.

“Felicity, please calm down,” Quentin spoke softly, drawing her attention away from the window. He was sitting up now in the chair, his appearance so diminished, making her heart hurt even more.

Quentin was the closest thing she had to a father figure since hers had left when she was just three years old. Once Laurel and Felicity had become friends it was only natural that their parents had become friends as well. They had become a sort of blended family.

There was a knock at the door, pulling her back out of her thoughts.

“Come in,” called the social worker and the door swung open. A man in a finely tailored gray suit walked in carrying a manilla folder under his arm. He looked vaguely familiar but Felicity couldn’t pull his name from her memory.

“Hello Lindy, so good to see you,” the other man greeted the social worker, she nodded. He approached Quentin, his hand extended. “You must be Mr. Lance?”

“Yes,” Quentin answered flatly, ignored the hand that was offered to him. The man didn’t seem too surprised, letting his arm drop to his side.

“I’m Darren Rhodes, I’m a good friend of Tommy’s. I’ve helped manage his legal affairs. I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said sadly. “Both will be greatly missed.”

“Yeah,” was all Quentin said. The sound was hollow and all wrong.

Mr. Rhodes sighed and stepped over toward the small table at the other end of the office, there were four chairs, two on either side. He set the folder he had down and motioned them toward it. None of them moved except for the social worker, she had followed him over to the other side of the room.

“If you all would take a seat we could get through the red tape and get you all in to see Olivia sooner,” he grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it to the side.

Oliver stood, heading for the table, as he passed her he let his hand reach for her elbow, giving her a soft squeeze. He moved to one of the chairs as Quentin dropped into the lone one that remained on the other side. Oliver pulled it out and pointed to it. Felicity forced herself to move toward it and sit down. She was so tired of all of this.

“I hate that we have to do this but Tommy and Laurel had very specific instructions in the event anything happened to them regarding any living children. Laurel was especially concerned after Olivia was born,” Mr Rhodes started.

Felicity felt her heart squeeze. Of course Laurel would have worried. Felicity had all but forgotten why Quentin was a single father. Just days after Sara was born their mother had passed due to complications with the birth. When they were growing up she knew that Laurel worried all the time if something happened to her who would take care of her baby sister, who would take care of her father. Felicity’s eyes shifted over to where Quentin sat in his chair, wearing the weight of the world. It wasn’t fair for one man to suffer so much.

“What kind of instructions?” Oliver asked after several moments of quiet passed between them.

“In the event of their deaths they would like their children to go to the next living relative,” he paused letting his words settle over them. “Mr. Lance that would be you.”

Quentin coughed, sucked in a ragged breath. It elicited another cough that sounded more like a sob, his head shaking firmly as he stared at the lawyer. “I can’t.”

“Sir, we can set up-”

“No, I can’t! I won’t. God knows I love her but I can’t raise another child alone. I can’t look at her every day when she looks- No, there has to be another way,” he was shaking.

Felicity felt fresh tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. His pain was radiating off of him in waves. She worried what this meant for Livi, she couldn’t stand to have her go to foster care. No, there had to be another option.

“Is there any other options? What happens if he doesn’t take her?” Oliver asked leaning forward, voicing her concerns.

“Foster care would be an option, possibly adoption, she is young enough she may place very easy with a good family,” Mr Rhodes started to explain. Felicity felt bile rising in her throat and started shaking her head. Mr Rhodes frowned, looking between her and Oliver.

“No that is unacceptable,” Oliver stated firmly. Felicity nodded her own words caught in her throat.

Mr Rhodes reached into the folder shuffling papers before he found something he was looking for, pulling out several sheets of paper. “Mr. Lance if you really-”

“I can’t, you can’t ask me to, not after…” Quentin trailed off, his eyes glazing over.

“Well…” Mr. Rhodes cleared his throat and looked in their direction. “Well I think that trying to find her an adoptive family would be in her best interest but… you two are named as her godparents.”

“And?” Oliver asked.

“If one of you wanted to accept guardianship of her then I’m sure we could push for it. What do you think Lyndi?” he asked and they all turned to look in the social worker’s direction.

“Well there will need to be evaluations with a social worker, we’ll need to know where you intend to house her, those kinds of things. Then a meeting with a judge to place the court order. It could take months,” Lyndi explained.

Hope flowered in Felicity’s chest. Felicity wasn’t sure how she’d manage with work but there was no way she would lose Olivia too. Not if there was a way that she could stop it.

“I’ll do it!” Her and Oliver said at once.

Felicity turned to look at Oliver in disbelief, her heart pounding in her chest. “You’d take her?”

“I will, there is no way she is going anywhere,” Oliver stated firmly, there was no falter in his choice.

Felicity knew that Oliver enjoyed Livi, loved her to pieces. But never in a million years did she think that he would sacrifice his freedom for her. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. But inside her chest her heart beat wildly as she stared at him in awe.

“That’s wonderful news,” Mr Rhodes said with a smile, ignoring the her and Oliver as he continued. “The two of you can work out what you’d like to do and get back to me. At this point I’ll just put you both down. Lyndi can let you know when and who you’ll need to see.”

Mr Rhodes took a piece of paper the social worker handed him and began filling it out. He pushed it across the table in front of Oliver. He signed it after a cursory glance, handing her the pen and she took her time to read it. It was an appointment of temporary guardianship paper. Felicity signed it and pushed it back to Mr. Rhodes.

He picked it up, looked over it and nodded, putting it into the folder. He pulled out a thicker stack of paper, Felicity caught sight of the word Will and wasn’t so sure she wanted to be in the room anymore.

“Did you want to go over the rest of the will now?” the lawyer asked, shifting the papers.

“Not really,” Felicity couldn’t listen to anything else, she wanted to get to Livi. She turned back to look at the social worker. “Are you satisfied enough now? Can I go see my goddaughter?”

“Sure, I’ll take you down to see her,” the social worker, Lyndi, said moving toward the door.

“Thank you,” Felicity was out of her chair, she was stopped when Oliver grabbed her hand. She turned, meeting his gaze.

“I’ll handle all of this,” he waved at the table, he was giving her a way out and she appreciated it. “Then I’ll come find you two.”

“Okay,” she nodded and he squeezed her hand, dropping it so she could go.

The social worker lead her down a hallway to a room where there were at least ten children. A worker was holding a screaming Livi, her face red and sweaty. She kept calling for mama over and over as she tried to get out of the woman’s arms.

Felicity’s heart shattered all over again at the sight.

“Livi, munchie!” Felicity called as she got closer, her voice raw in her throat.

Livi’s little head turned at the sound of Felicity’s familiar voice. She immediately lunged toward Felicity, grabbing for her. Felicity took her from the worker and held her close. Livi’s wet face pressed into her neck as Felicity tried to comfort her.

“Oh baby girl,” she whispered into Livi’s dark curls as she hiccuped at her shoulder. “I have you, my sweet little munchie.”

Felicity’s throat constricted at the thought of Livi being hers, or most likely hers. It didn’t seem right but she’d do it for her friend. She felt the pain deep in her chest, a fracture that she wasn’t sure would ever heal.

\--F--

Felicity held a sleeping Livi in her lap on the couch in Oliver’s apartment. It was the first time she’d ever been into his home. It was nothing at all like hers.

It unnerved her at how spotless everything was, all sharp angles and everything looked…. sterile. Save for a few personal pictures on the mantel over his fireplace, it didn’t look like Oliver lived here at all.

Her eyes followed him as he paced back and forth, across in front of his floor to ceiling windows. He was on the phone with his father. They were discussing the finer points of Tommy and Laurel’s will.

As it turned out they had been named legal guardians by Laurel and Tommy already. The original will that Mr Rhodes had was an older version, one that stated that any surviving children would go to the closest living relative. But just two months ago, days before Livi’s first birthday Tommy and Laurel had updated their wills when they updated their information with their life insurance company. Roy had found the new documents inside a folder that Mr. Rhodes had left behind.

Felicity didn’t let herself think too much about why they hadn’t told either of them about their plans. Oliver had attempted to stare a hole in the wall as Roy told them over the speaker. Neither of them knew that part of why they’d had them sign official papers appointing them godparents was to be sure that if something happened there wouldn’t be any legal battles. It had never mattered to them that Oliver and Felicity were only just barely friends.

Robert Queen was discussing funeral arrangements. The Queens wanted to handle everything since they viewed Tommy as their second son, and they believed Quentin shouldn’t have to do everything on his own. Losing two daughters, and a son in law was more than any one person should have to go through.

There was a bunch of other information about the estate and their net worth, all stuff Felicity had blocked out as she breathed in the familiar shampoo Laurel used on Livi. There would be plenty of time to work out all the details later. As for right now they just wanted to get through the day.

Felicity’s phone vibrated in her pocket and she fished it out. Donna Smoak, her mother’s face smiled back at her and new tears sprung to her eyes as she answered it. She hadn’t even realized she needed to hear from her.

“Hello mama,” she cried into the phone, unable to control the small tremor in her voice.

_“Oh my baby girl, I saw the news and… I booked a flight I am on my way into the airport now. How is Quentin- nevermind don’t answer that, I’m pretty sure I can work that out on my own. How are you my baby?”_ her mother asked, concern evident in her tone.

“I’m… I’m here,” Felicity finished lamely, there wasn’t any other way to answer that question. Livi snored against her neck and she gave her small body a light squeeze. Having her slight weight against her offering her comfort she never knew she needed.

_“Oh Felicity,”_ her mother sighed knowingly into the phone. _“I didn’t hear anything about their little doll Livi, where is she? Please don’t tell me somethin-”_

“No mom, she’s okay. I have her.”

_“Oh thank God. Who is going to have her permanently?”_

“Well Laurel and Tommy named me and Oliver as her guardians,” Felicity stated. Oliver stopped pacing to look in her direction as his phone call ended, slipping his phone into his pocket. He motioned toward the hall and mouthed ‘be right back’. Felicity nodded.

The other end of the phone remained silent, except the busy sounds of an airport in the background. “Mom?”

_“I’m sorry. Did you say they appointed you and Oliver as her guardians?”_ Donna said, her tone ringing with a twinge of shock.

“Yes, why do you sound so shocked?” Felicity asked, shifting the baby some in her arms.

_“I just thought that you and Oliver were… I don’t know… You just seemed so unimpressed all those times you called and we talked about him. Granted it’s been a while but-”_

“Things change mom….” Felicity trailed off, thinking of all the ways that made the statement true.

_“Look baby, we can talk about it when I get there. I’m about to go through security. I should be landing there around six tonight,_ ” her mom talked to someone on her side.

“Okay mom.” Felicity felt some of her tension abate. Her mother was coming.

_“Oh baby girl, I’ll be there soon. I love you!”_

“I love you too,” Felicity said and her mother hummed as she disconnected.

“Who was that?” Oliver asked a moment later when he wandered back into his living room. A duffel bag stuffed full on one shoulder and a overfull garment bag slung over his other arm.

“My mother, she’s coming in tonight.”

“Good. I can’t wait to meet her,” Oliver stated with a whisper of a grin.

Felicity felt a small smile tug at her lips. Her mother was a bit of a whirlwind. A small part of her was excited that the two would finally meet. She wondered what Oliver would think of her.

Oliver shifted and cleared his throat. “Are you ready to head to your place? Or I could order us some lunch up while she sleeps. Unfortunately, I don’t have any food here right now.”

“It’s okay Oliver, we should really get her home,” Felicity said as she shuffled forward on his couch and stood up. Livi shifted in her arms but thankfully remained asleep. “I’m not that hungry anyways.”

\--F--

Later that night Felicity watched a sleeping Livi in her crib. It had taken a considerable amount of time to get the toddler to settle. Felicity was utterly exhausted. She sat on the floor watching her through the slats of the crib.

Donna sat in the rocking chair with one of Livi’s stuffed animals. As tired as they both were neither of them were ready to leave Livi’s side.

It was hard being in the house with all the memories. Having Livi to take care of helped take her mind off of things. For a while it was just like babysitting, until Livi would just start looking around. Like she expected her mama and dada at any time.

Oliver had spent most of the day and evening handling lawyers and his mother or father depending on what needed handled at the time. Felicity appreciated him dealing with all of it. He did ask her questions off and on but more or less just let her deal with Livi.

Felicity had called her assistant Jill on the way to the CPS office. Of course being the wonderful assistant that she had always been, Jill had already shuffled all of her appointments for the next two weeks. She had compiled a list of their current projects that needed Felicity’s individual attention but delegated everything that wasn’t of utmost importance.

Hobbs had called her and left a message that Robert and himself had deemed her contract fulfilled and that he looked forward to working with her in the future. It was a relief to have one big thing off her plate. She did call Caitlin Snow and reassure her that if she had any need of assistance that Felicity was still available.

Finally Felicity had messaged Barry, unable to think about actually talking to him on the phone about things and told him about what happened. He’d wanted to come and be with her but she’d begged him to give her a few days. Things were complicated enough without adding him to the mix. He’d agreed to give her some space.

“Felicity,” her mom called softly from her perch in the rocker, drawing Felicity’s attention.

Felicity looked away from the little girl to look at her mom. “Hm?”

“How is this going to work Felicity?” her mother watched her closely.

Felicity turned so she could lean back against the crib. She reached forward and pulled the bear from her mother and pulled it into her own lap. Her mother’s question didn’t surprise her at all. She had thought that same thing all day.

A million different questions about how they would raise Livi together. How would they handle her care? Would they keep the house? Which would give up their current home? What did they think they were doing? Felicity knew they both lead very busy and separate lives. None of which allowed much room for the intricacies of a toddler.

“I don’t know mom,” Felicity finally answered on a sigh.  “Things are still… well they are kind of off kilter right now. I just need to focus on right now, get through today, then get through the funeral. One day at a time you know?”

“I know it’s a lot right now, and you’re right to take it one day at a time but...,” her mom whispered, reaching forward to brush some of the hair that had fallen out of Felicity’s hasty ponytail behind her ear. “I’m talking about you and Oliver sweetie.”

“There is no me and Oliver,” Felicity squeaked out. Donna’s lips curved into a slow smile. Felicity didn’t like that one. It was the one that was all too knowing. Like Laurel her mother could tell when she was lying, or omitting the truth. But Felicity had gotten very good at denial, especially where Oliver was concerned. “There isn’t. I’m seeing-”

“Barry, the cover up, a man who’s in love with someone else,” her mother snorted shaking her head as she studied Felicity. “You’re such a bright beautiful woman Felicity, don’t play stupid with me. It’s very unbecoming. That man downstairs, he is head over heels in love with you. He is at sea drowning right now because his best friend is gone, and he’s been looking at you like you and Livi are his salvation.”

“Mother don’t be ridiculous,” Felicity said leaning back and tossing the bear over into a basket in the corner. Oliver was not in love with her. “I can’t believe you are talking about this right now. My best friend and her sister died last night! Girls that were like daughters to you, and like you said, his best friend is gone and you want to talk about my love life?”

Donna rocked back in the chair and sighed. “I think you two need to talk about it.”

“Mom please-”

“No Felicity, you misunderstand the gravity of the situation here. You think I’m just thinking about your love life but you’re wrong. I’m observing the bigger picture. One that the two of you need to figure out in order to properly care for that little girl over there,” her mother said eyes never leaving Felicity’s gaze. She leaned forward, her hand stroking along Felicity’s face. “Sweet girl, you need to make a decision, one way or the other. Either you’re both on the same page and move forward together, or you two need to decide who is going to have her.”

Felicity watched as her mother rose from the rocking chair, she leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then left the room. Felicity stared ahead of her not seeing anything. Everything over the last two days weighing her down, her brain and heart exhausted. But her mother was right. Her and Oliver would have to talk. It was time she stopped living in denial.


	12. Oliver

Oliver slumped down on one of the stools in the kitchen, his elbows hitting the island’s top as he scrubbed his hands over his face. He was afraid to sit anywhere else more comfortable, it would be too easy to give in to the exhaustion. There was still too much to straighten out for the days to come. But admittedly he wished that this day would end.

But the day had been just one long unending maze. Even though he’d navigated most of it without losing his cool, he’d just ended a call with his father which had ended in an argument over his decision to keep Olivia. Okay that wasn’t fair, it was more what his parent’s lawyers thought was a terrible decision, but his parents had made sure to lay out all the ways they thought the lawyers were right. Of all people he thought would agree and understand his position he thought it would be them.

However, their disapproval, even if only a small amount on his parents part, wouldn’t make him change his mind. Sitting in that social worker’s office earlier had dragged up long forgotten memories. It made Oliver’s skin itch in unease, it only served to cement his decision.

For two long weeks when he and Tommy were only eight they were separated from each other. While the his parents were away on an anniversary trip their private jet crashed. Even though he'd been staying with the Queens the authorities had taken him away.

Tommy’s parents had planned out almost every aspect of their lives for when they passed. Everything except what to do with Tommy if anything should happen to them unexpectedly.

Those two weeks had been hell as a child. Oliver had suffered from real fear for the first time, believing he’d never see his best friend again. Thankfully his parents fought for and were awarded custody and Tommy came to live with them.

Now Oliver was facing down another separation, this one permanent. One that no one, not even his parents could change. No amount of willing it fixed could make it happen. Tommy and Laurel wouldn’t be coming back. That left their daughter alone and unprotected.

Oliver decided on the drive over that no matter how things went down with Child Protective Services and the lawyers, he wouldn’t be leaving that day without Olivia Merlyn in his or Felicity’s arms. Oliver wouldn’t let her go one more day stuck in limbo. He owed Tommy that much.

Oliver had never been so grateful that he and Felicity had been labeled as godparents. It was a good little twist and he jumped at the chance to claim Livi. He hadn’t been prepared for Felicity to want her too.

Honestly he shouldn't have been so surprised. He’d seen her with Livi on many occasions, the two were like two peas in a pod. A lot of it had to do with Felicity and Laurel’s bond, it was so much like his with Tommy’s. Livi was a lifeline to keep their friends close to them.

All that needed deciding was who would ultimately fight for custody. With them not together, and not being married, Oliver knew that the lawyers were right. They'd meet resistance once the court became involved, even with them being her godparents. He had planned to talk to her after they picked up their things from each of their homes. They decided on the way to his place that temporarily they would both stay at the house, only until they got through the next several days, and figured out a plan.

A new development happened while at his apartment, Felicity’s mother called to say that she was getting on a flight. It was a welcome development if not for the sad reasons for her visit. Oliver looked forward to meeting her.

Oliver had of course met her briefly during Tommy and Laurel’s wedding. At the time he’d been so wrapped up in himself, that he’d only given her a passing glance. What little he remembered was that she was excessively happy, wearing a pink dress and she seemed to always be in motion. Her and Felicity were a lot alike in that. Small women who filled the room with their presence alone.

After they’d finished at Felicity’s apartment they stopped at a grocery store to pick up items for dinner. It had been an interesting trek through the store. Felicity definitely had a method to shopping and Livi had seemed entertained while they walked up and down the isles. The whole experience had been both distracting and calming. It helped keep him from spiralling into dark thoughts.

During the drive to the airport Livi had fallen asleep in her carseat. Not wanting to wake up Livi they agreed he would just run in and pick up her mother. Oliver would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little bit nervous to meet the mother of the woman he loved.

Whatever he thought he’d remembered from the wedding was wiped away when Donna Smoak found him in the crowd. She was small and looked worried and exhausted. She’d greeted him with a tight hug, her small frame easily dwarfed by his.

The soft ‘I’m so sorry for your loss Oliver’ came from her. The delivery so quiet and full of her own pain Oliver had had to swallow multiple times and press his eyes shut to will himself not to cry. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to break down at the airport. He’d returned the sentiment once he could and they finally pulled apart. Donna had given him a watery smile and asked him to escort her to her daughter.

The soft clink of stoneware on the granite surface in front of him had him pulling himself upright, pushing thoughts from the day away. The woman on his mind stood on the other side of the island, a deep crease between her eyebrows, as she sipped from a coffee mug. A plate of food sat in front of him, it smelled and looked good but he couldn’t find any motivation to actually eat.

“Before you turn that down, I highly suggest you rethink it. I’m not a master chef or anything but I do make baked cheesy chicken with rice very well,” she said seeming to know his thoughts, eyebrow raising. She reached forward and pushed the plate toward him til it bumped his elbow. “You were too busy earlier to eat, and I know that if I don’t make sure you eat something now, you won’t. Oliver, you need to eat.”

“I know,” he answered his tone somewhere between a groan and a grumble. He’d kept himself busy so that he wouldn’t have to look at Livi too often. As much as he’d wanted her in his life, once they were back at the house all of it grew to be too much. So he threw himself into calling the lawyers, his parents, trying to get everything together.

With those thoughts returning he sat back away from the plate again, his eyes moving up to meet Donna’s. The look on her face was one he’d seen mirrored all too often on Felicity. Donna wasn’t going to back down. Deciding it wasn’t worth the fight he picked up the fork and started eating. He swallowed not really tasting any of it.

Donna gave a nod, a small appreciative hum before returning to her mug. She watched him over the rim, a thoughtful expression moving onto her features. Her blue eyes seemingly seeing more than he cared to think about. He averted his gaze toward his plate as he ate. Oliver tried not to think about anything but making it through that plate of food.

Half his plate was gone before he saw her shift away, drawing his attention once more. She turned to rinse her mug. She set it on the side board and turned back to face him, crossing her arms in front of her, the bright yellow nail polish on her fingers a stark contrast to the navy blue top she wore. It made Oliver think of Felicity.

“Where’s Felicity?” he asked without much thought. He hadn’t seen her since she’d taken Livi up for a bath.

“I left her upstairs with Olivia. I imagine she will be up there avoiding me the rest of the evening,” Donna said softly, her eyes shifting upward as if she could see Felicity through the ceiling. Blue eyes swung back to his, softening as he wondered at what she could have meant.

“Why would she avoid you?” he asked, confusion evident in his tone.

Donna sighed and shifted in her spot. “I may have upset her, or at least given her a lot to think about at least.”

“I don’t understand,” Oliver said leaning forward on the island on his elbows. “What could you have possibly said to upset her?”

“I told her you were in love with her,” she deadpanned, eyes never leaving his as he choked on his next breath. He was grateful that he didn’t have a bite of food in his mouth.

“Excuse me?” Oliver gaped at her. How had she figured that out? They’d only been in each other’s company for about three hours.

“Really the two of you,” Donna shook her head in disbelief and huffed out a breath. “It didn’t take me very long to see the way the two of you are when you’re around each other. I can’t believe I doubted Laurel at all. The thing I don’t understand is why the two of you are still dancing around your feelings. Talking to her is out of the question, she is so full of denial.”

Oliver could do nothing but stare at her for several breaths. It would seem that everyone they knew felt the need to point out what they’d been denying. Or at least he had. But Oliver was done denying it, had been for a while. But he spent a lot of his time confused, she’d let him just enough then close up. He understood her reservations so he hadn’t known how to push through them.

“Things are very…. complicated,” he finished watching as she rolled her eyes. He couldn’t believe that he was having this conversation with Felicity’s mother.

“It’s only complicated because the two of you have made them that way,” Donna retorted throwing her hands into the air shaking her head. Only to quiet and turn thoughtful a moment later. “Okay actually, knowing Felicity, maybe she has more to do with that than you. That girl fights being happy, but maybe she’s come by it honestly,” she’d paused again before placing her hands down on top of the island, bringing her attention back to him. “But you've allowed it to go on. Oliver, it worries me how the two of you are handling this. Denial and or flat out refusal to deal with it, isn’t healthy.”

“I don’t know if right now is the best time for her and I to have everything out in the open,” Oliver answered honestly. Lord knows he’d wanted to tell her, just that morning before her break down he’d almost done it. His promise to Tommy to tell her soon fresh in his mind.

“This is something you two need to deal with sooner rather than later. Maybe not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow, but it has to happen. This goes beyond you two as individuals. I don’t think I need to explain to you what could happen if the court doesn’t think either of you are fit to be her guardian. It won’t matter that you guys are her godparents,” Donna said, a sad soft look to her face. “I know neither of you would intentionally hurt her, Tommy and Laurel knew that too. Or else they wouldn’t have appointed you two as her guardians.”

“You’re right,” Oliver said with a nod. Because Felicity’s mom was right, they needed to be on the same page, no matter what that meant. He really hoped that it would be with them together.

“Becoming a parent is one of the single most important things you can do in your life. You two are coming by it in a very unconventional way. It’s best to have everything out in the open before you go into this. That’s all I’m saying,” Donna added as she reached across the island and pulled his mostly empty plate up. She turned to the sink setting the plate down into it.

Oliver was in motion a second later moving around the island even as he said, “I’ll get it.”

“I can do the dishes Oliver,” she said with a little huff.

“I know but I want to, you made dinner after flying in and... it’ll give me something to do for a little bit. I need time to think about how I want to have that conversation with Felicity,” Oliver explained moving to in front of the sink, moving Donna away from it.

“Well okay I guess that sounds good, I have other things I need to do,” she smiled back at him as he started to fill one side of the sink with soapy water. “Thanks Oliver.”

“No problem at all,” he said watching as she moved around the island, she pulled her bag up off the floor. Oliver grew puzzled as Donna picked up the keys to Felicity’s car. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I already talked to Felicity about it. I’m heading over to Quentin’s he shouldn’t be alone right now, even if he thinks he does. He’s one of my oldest and dearest friends, I need to make sure he’s doing okay,” a sad smile on her face. “That man has lost too much. I’ll drag him over here tomorrow, we’ll need to keep him occupied for a while.”

“Sounds like a great idea, Felicity thought we should bring him back here with us. But he was against it, and I didn’t want to force him. I hope that he lets you in,” Oliver watched as Donna stepped back around the kitchen island toward him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze.

“It’s virtually impossible to not let a Smoak woman in,” Donna said with a wink. She wasn’t wrong. Donna leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, reaching up to brush off the spot where she’d pressed her hips to his skin. “Take care of our girls Oliver. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

After she’d left the kitchen he focused on the task before him.

Oliver finished cleaning the dishes that were in the sink and put them away. Then proceeded to scrub down the stove, and countertops. Halfway through sweeping the kitchen floor he realized he was only doing it to delay the inevitable. A small part of him also hoped he could avoid having to have a discussion with Felicity so soon. He still had no idea how to open that pandora’s box, because once it was open there would be no going back. Truth be told he wasn’t in all that big a hurry to go to sleep either.

It was well after eleven before he decided to head upstairs to check on the girls. He passed the closed door that was Tommy and Laurel’s room, averting his eyes anyways. Felicity had pulled it shut earlier as he helped carry her bags upstairs. As she pulled the door shut she said she couldn’t walk past it over and over with it open. He understood how she felt, the reminder of them not being there was too strong. He was thankful for it being shut.

He looked down the hall, a dim light spilled from the open doorway to Livi’s room. The door to Felicity’s room stood open but dark. Oliver paused at Livi’s doorway, peeking into the room. Felicity was asleep in the rocking chair, Livi across her chest. Livi’s face was tucked into the area between her neck and shoulder, a little stuffed lamb tucked under her arm.

Oliver moved into the room and lowered himself quietly to sit down next to the crib. He felt peace settle over him watching the two of them sleep. It was easy to imagine a different situation, one where they had already shared everything and had moved beyond it into happier territory.

Oliver felt guilt well up inside him as he looked at Livi. He realized he hadn’t held Livi even once that day. It had been easier to just let Felicity deal with her so he could focus on the other stuff. Once they were in the house he hadn’t thought about how much it would hurt to look at her most of the day. The dark curls on her head, the blue gray eyes that seemed to see more than they should. All were too familiar. He would make it up to her from here on out. He had too.

He knew that he should have gone downstairs to bed, but the peace he felt sitting in the room, close to them kept him from going down to his room. He leaned into the crib behind him. His head leaning against the slats. All too soon the day had caught up with him. His eyes feeling heavier and heavier before he couldn’t lift his eyelids anymore.

 

\---O---

 

Something was shaking his shoulder.

“Come on Oliver, wake up,” Felicity said, an edge to her voice.

Oliver tried to pull himself out of the haze of sleep. He was stretched out on the floor along the crib, a pillow under his head and one of Livi’s blankets over his shoulders. He hummed and pressed his face back into the pillow. Sleeping on the floor had never felt so comfortable.

“Oliver,” Felicity pushed him harder her voice harder this time.

“Okay ok...I’m awake,” Oliver rubbed his face, rolled to sit up, trying to wake up. “What time is it?”

“Eleven, I need you to take care of Livi for an hour,” Felicity said, standing back up and moving across the room. She lifted Livi onto the changing table and Oliver watched as she quickly changed the little girl’s diaper. “I’ve fed her a snack, and I’m changing her now, so she should be easy, you can manage her alone for an hour right?”

Oliver’s head was fuzzy, feeling like he’d been on a bender even though he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol since the dinner on Thursday. Immediately he cut off that line of thought, he didn’t need a trip down memory lane. Not at that moment. It had to be the lack of sleep.

“Come on Oliver, you can watch her right? My mom and Quentin will be here in about an hour so it’s not like you’ll have to take care of her for very long,” Felicity huffed as she pulled the purple pajama top Livi was wearing off and tossed it in the hamper. “I wouldn’t leave her if I didn’t absolutely have to run into my office. There’s an emergency with one of my clients and it can’t wait til Monday, and no one else on my team knows how to fix it.”

“I’ve watched her alone before. Of course I’ll be fine,” Oliver grumbled as he stood, folding the blanket in half and hanging it over the side of the crib. He dropped the pillow into the rocking chair. He felt a stab of irritation at having her doubt his ability to care for their goddaughter.

“I just… you haven’t really… nevermind. I know you’ll be fine. Livi loves Uncle Oliver, don’t you baby girl?” Felicity tickled Livi under the chin before pulling a pink flowered summer dress over the little girl’s head. Her dark curls bouncing once her head was free. Livi giggled and grabbed at Felicity’s hands.

Guilt poured through him as he realized she had picked up on his behavior the day before. He really didn’t want her to think he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. He definitely needed to make up for it today. Taking care of Livi would be the first step.

“Sorry about that. Yesterday was just…” Oliver trailed off and Felicity shot him a sad smile over her shoulder and nodded. Quiet fell over them as she finished dressing Livi. Before she had to leave he decided now would be a good time to go down and change. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go change, before you have to go.”

“No problem, go on, we’ll be here.”

Oliver made quick work of his time downstairs. He changed deciding a shower would have to wait til later in the day, he didn’t want to keep Felicity too long. While in the kitchen to pick up his phone he noticed there was a plate with several blueberry muffins sitting on it, a stack of dishes in the sink. He grabbed a muffin and ate it while he quickly checked his email and answered a few texts from his dad before he headed back upstairs.

“Thanks for making muffins and for letting me sleep in,” he said gratefully as he reentered the room. He had no idea when she’d gotten up, or rather when Livi had woke her up.

“It’s no big deal Oliver, you obviously needed the sleep,” Felicity answered pulling a comb out of one of the drawers. Oliver watched her slide the comb through Livi’s hair, the little girl pulling her head every which way, fussing.

“For what it’s worth though, I don’t think sleeping on the floor should be a long term commitment you’d want to make. Also, for future reference in case you’re wondering, sleeping in the rocking chair isn’t a great idea either,” Felicity said her tense blue eyes meeting his.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he moved closer to the pair, leaning against the edge of the changing table. Livi started reaching for him, a wide smile on her face. Felicity was trying to pin her hair back with a barrette. “Felicity, I think there are some things we need to talk about, clear the air about actually.”

“I know but can we raincheck?” Felicity asked, her eyes focused on her hands finally getting the barrette fastened. She lifted Livi and kissed her cheek, before turning to face him. “I know my mom talked to you. She thinks we need to talk about um...stuff. I just… I do want to talk about it but I can’t right now. When I come back okay?”

Oliver nodded trying not to feel disappointed, he had known she needed to go to work. Afterall there was plenty of things to do and she did have an emergency at work to deal with. “Okay, but we really need to discuss how we want to handle Livi.”

“I understand, trust me. Tonight maybe,” she smiled and let Livi lean away from her toward him. Ready to hand Livi off to him. He reached out for her and felt something shift.

The sudden nervousness that bubbled up inside of him felt foreign. Oliver sucked in a steadying breath as he took Livi into his arms. She immediately pressed her face into his. Her version of a kiss, her little fingers gripping him. Out of nowhere a sob rumbled in his chest. She’d done it a million times, to him, to Felicity, to her parents. He tugged her closer and he closed his eyes.

Everything was the same and yet would never be the same again. He felt wrong holding her but didn’t want to give her up either. Just another thing he’d have to grow accustomed too.

“Oliver, are you okay?” Felicity asked, her hand rubbing along his forearm. “You’re squeezing her a little bit.”

Oliver instantly loosened his grip and Livi pulled away, grinning, forgiving him for almost squeezing the life out of her. He swallowed thickly and spoke when he finally felt like he could. “I’m fine.”

“Like you told me yesterday, it’s okay to not be okay,” Felicity’s voice was soft and her eyes locked on him, full of understanding. He knew he needed to try harder, hold himself together better. “I promise, I’ll be back as fast as I can. If you need anything just text me. My mom should be here before I get back. Okay?”

“I’ve got her Felicity, I just had a moment that’s all. We’ll be good,” Oliver stated, feeling more confident than he really felt. Livi leaned in again and kissed him and he knew eventually, at some point everything would be better.

 

\---O---

 

Of course as things go they didn’t get a chance to talk. Felicity’s work emergency ended up taking all day for her to fix. Between him, Donna and Quentin they’d managed to play with and entertain Livi throughout the day. Overall it had been a quiet day, Oliver and Donna fielding calls from his mother, in regards to preparations for the funerals.

Felicity came in just after Livi fell asleep, barely finishing three bites of food before she passed out on the couch. After Donna and Quentin left, he moved Felicity to her bed. He wound up in Livi’s room, falling asleep in the rocking chair, wanting to be close to her as the tension for the days to come settled on him.

Sunday morning they buried Sara.

Afterward Quentin and Donna headed to his place, even though Quentin had protested about not needing a babysitter. Oliver and Felicity to took Olivia home where they spent the afternoon and evening cuddling and playing with Livi. Deciding to just ignore everything else.

Monday it was Oliver's turn to go into work after his father insisted. There were things that needed his attention that he couldn’t hand off to someone else. He spent the whole day there, his father included, ordering dinner to the office. By the time he left it was ten pm and the next day’s events to come weighed heavily on his heart. He was too exhausted to do much more than change out of his suit and go looking for Felicity.

He found her asleep in the rocker in Livi’s room. Livi was fast asleep in her crib, her little arm hanging out between one of the slats. He sat down next to the crib and tried to push Livi’s hand back in beside her. Livi woke up fussing as she reached for him. She calmed as she wrapped her hand around his finger, rolling closer to suck her thumb into her mouth. He fell asleep leaning there against the crib, Livi’s little fingers grasped tightly around one of his.

Tuesday afternoon they buried their best friends.

 


	13. Felicity

Felicity held Livi as she stood in the overcrowded living room of Tommy and Laurel's house. She wanted to scream at everyone to leave. Holding onto Livi was helping her keep hold of the very thin threads of her sanity. She chewed the inside of her lip and willed herself to be calm. Anything to keep herself from another break down.

Felicity had just barely held herself together when they were at the graveside. Everything inside of her fought against giving into the tears that wanted to come. The darkness deep inside that wanted her to curl up and ignore everything else. The only thing that kept her from giving in was Olivia. Livi was too little and too innocent. She wouldn't have understood why her auntie was falling apart.

Livi whined, shifting in her arms, wanting to get down. She hesitated putting her down, the little girl was like a lifeline, keeping her afloat. Felicity felt like her nerves were scraped raw as she watched all these people move around in her best friends house, touching their things, and talking about them. Her eyes scanned the group of people in the living room looking for her other lifeline.

Oliver stood with his parents, in an animated conversation with the lawyer Mr. Rhodes and a few other people. His shoulders appeared tense, his thumb and forefinger rubbed together at his thigh, something she'd noticed he did when he was uncomfortable. His eyes shifted away from his father, who was talking, and found hers. It was as if he could had felt her eyes light on him. She looked away quickly, not wanting him to see her distress, just needing to see him. She returned her attention to the woman who stood in front of her.

"I can't believe they are gone, ya know? It's so tragic their little girl will have to grow up without them," the blonde from up the street said, she wiped at the corner of her eye at an imaginary tear. Felicity's stomach soured and she held Livi tighter, biting firmer into the sore skin of her lip.

"Dow." Livi pushed at Felicity's chest, signalling that she most definitely wanted down. Felicity not wanting to make Livi cry, set her on the floor and watched as she took two steps, dropping to her hands and crawling the distance to her mother, where she stood next to Quentin. Donna turned at the sound of Livi's giggle and picked her up almost instantly, cuddling her close.

"Do you know where Olivia will be sent off too?" the woman asked, the question caused the very thin hold Felicity held on her emotions to snap.

"Olivia is not getting sent anywhere," Felicity snapped. The dam keeping her tears and anger at bay started to crumble.

"I'm sorry… I didn't-" the blonde stammered as her friend beside her gaped at Felicity.

Damn it!

"Sorry, it's… I didn't … excuse me I need to go make sure there are still enough refreshments," Felicity excused herself to head for the kitchen, walking passed her mother. Her mother's hand snapped out and grabbed Felicity's arm to stop her

"Are you alright baby girl?" Donna asked quietly concern laced through her tone and clear in her eyes.

"I need air," Felicity stated quickly and kissed Livi's cheek before darting from the room.

Once in the kitchen she breathed a deep breath, which lead to multiple quick ones. None of them relieving as she slowly felt herself start to spiral toward hyperventilating. She forced her eyes closed and gripped the edge of the sink.

Focusing on slowing her breaths. She just needed a moment to gather herself. She had promised herself she would make it through today with minimal breakdowns. Especially in front of other people.

Of course a house full of guests doesn't leave much of that not happening. Felicity splashed water on her face to cool it. She dried her face with a hand towel a low sob left her without permission. As if to remind her the house wasn't empty, and having a private moment wasn't going to happen, someone walked into the room.

Felicity looked up to see Lyla paused at the doorway with her son Andrew, about six months older than Livi, on her hip. Her eyes falling on Felicity just as she pulled the towel away from her face.

"I'm so sorry, I just thought I'd come to see if there was milk, maybe I shoul-"

"No stay, it's okay," Felicity protested shaking her head, folding the towel in her hand as she sat down on a stool at the island. "Come on in, I just needed a moment. I'm okay now."

Lyla stared at her for a moment before nodding and moving to the fridge. It struck Felicity as a little odd that she seemed to know her way around Laurel's kitchen fairly well. The few times she'd seen Lyla had been during their Christmas parties and Livi's birthday party. Of course Laurel and her had likely become good friends, living close together would have allowed that. It helped that they had children around the same age, something in common.

Lyla pulled the small half gallon of milk from the fridge and set it on the island, watching Felicity. Lyla sat her son on the island and took the lid off the cup. Her eyes were kind as she studied her. Felicity looked away, down to the towel as she picked at a loose thread.

"Laurel and Tommy were two of the most honest and real people I've ever known. Most of those people out there didn't know the real them, never could. I'm sorry you're having to deal with them on top of everything else," Lyla said softly, pouring milk into the sippy cup her son had with him. Felicity closed her eyes and breathed slowly through her nose. Tears once again prickling and making her nose itch. "With everything regarding Olivia, you don't need their questions too. You must feel blindsided and out of your element."

Felicity eyed Lyla, her words sinking in. She felt the sharp stab of betrayal roll through her as she realized Lyla knew, that Laurel had talked to her about their plans. Bitterness bit at her as she pictured them sitting around the dining table, discussing it.

Of course Lyla and John would have experience on their side. Felicity remembered Lyla worked for the government for the FBI or something, and her partner John was military. They probably discussed their own precautions, maybe discussing why it's best to have a plan in place.

Felicity felt herself sigh and look away. It wasn't horrible that they planned. If anything she was grateful that Laurel and Tommy had even considered it, that they may have had people to rely on for information. However, it did nothing to lessen the pain of Laurel and Tommy not sharing their plans with her and Oliver. It affected their lives, they should have mentioned something.

Of course none of that was Lyla's fault.

When she looked up the rest of her anger dissipated, she'd never been actually angry at Lyla. Felicity felt that she could rely on her as well, that Lyla would be an ally she wouldn't be ungrateful to have. The way Felicity saw it she could either be hurt by Laurel not coming to her, or she could let it go. She sighed and made the decision to let it go. She didn't have the emotional fortitude to hold a grudge against anyone. Especially when the one person she was somewhat angry at wasn't there anymore.

"That's the understatement of the week. Honestly, I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time," Felicity admitted with a sigh. Lyla gave a nod, no judgement at all visible in her eyes. "Having Livi full time is quite the adjustment."

Babysitting was one thing, caring for Livi around the clock was draining. The waking up with a fussing Livi in the middle of the night was borderline torture. She hadn't had the chance to build up the tolerance that a mother would have. She would get there slowly though, she was determined too.

"Well… no parent has all the answers. Lord knows these little creatures should come with a manual or something. Would make life a bit easier," Lyla said with a soft smile as she handed the cup she'd filled to her son before setting him down on the floor. Her eyes found Felicity's as she flattened her hands on the countertop. "For what it's worth, if you need anything John and I are only a couple houses down. Andy and Olivia go to the same sitter so if you ever need help with that too please just let me know."

"Thank you Lyla. That means a lot to me," Felicity stated, returning the woman's smile.

Lyla looked away, over Felicity's shoulder, a curious look fell into place. Felicity turned. Barry stood in the doorway. She couldn't leave her stool fast enough.

"Barry!" Felicity threw herself into his arms and he pulled her close. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed him in the week since she'd seen him. They'd shared a few messages back and forth but otherwise both had been too busy to see each other in person.

"I'm so sorry I missed the graveside service," he mumbled into her ear, his breath fanning over her neck.

"It's okay," she said tearfully as she pulled back. Barry's hands moved to her face as he pressed a kiss onto her forehead.

"It's really not, I should have been there for you," he poured every bit of sorrow into his words, his eyes full of sadness.

"It really is okay. Besides I wasn't alone," Felicity replied pulling back, she turned slightly to face toward Lyla. "Lyla, I'd like you to meet one of my best friends, Barry Allen."

Lyla came around the island and Barry stepped forward. Barry's hand fell down to rest on Felicity's hip, pulling her into his side. He held his free hand out toward Lyla.

"Hello Lyla, it's nice to meet you," Barry greeted as Lyla shook his hand.

"Nice to meet another friend of Felicity's. Especially one so attractive," Lyla said with a wink and Felicity felt herself blush. "Anyhow, I think I'll let you two catch up. I gotta go find Johnny," Lyla said with a wink, reaching down to lift Andrew back up onto her hip. "Andy say bye to Felicity," she instructed and Andrew waved with his free hand, and mouthed a bye around the spout on the lid. "See you guys later."

"Bye kiddo," Felicity reached out and shook his little hand. "Thanks again Lyla."

Lyla nodded then carried her son out of the room, once she was clear Felicity turned back into her friend's embrace, pressing her face into his chest, breathing slowly. Barry rubbed her back slowly. Felicity felt herself relax easily into his arms. The only other person able to get that reaction lately was Oliver. She sighed as one hand moved up to rub at the back of her neck.

"Thank you Barry," she whispered before pulling back slightly.

"I'm late, like always," he said with a chuckle. "But you're welcome. There is no where else I would be."

"Honestly, there are about a million other places I'd rather be right now," Felicity grumbled, feeling a small amount of guilt wash through her, her heart stumbled painfully through the next couple beats. The truth was she'd give anything to have Laurel back.

"Felicity are you - Oh I'm sorry-" The sudden sound of Oliver's voice had her pulling out of Barry's arms as she turned. Oliver stood at the door to the backyard. He was backing up when their eyes met.

"Don't go," Felicity said quickly.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"You aren't, Barry just got here, did you need anything?" she asked and watched as Barry shifted to sit on a stool. Oliver's eyes following him, a puzzled expression on his face. His eyes returned to hers.

"Oh uh… Okay. Your mother was looking for you," Oliver cleared his throat and straightened. "She thinks that Livi is needing a nap. She's calling for mama and your mom isn't sure how to handle that."

"Oh thank you. Let her know I'll be there shortly," Felicity said and Oliver nodded retreating quickly back into the backyard. She nibbled her lip as she stared at the vacated doorway, wondering what his expression had been about.

"You two haven't talked?" Barry's voice behind her made her startle, drawing her back from her thoughts.

"Uh…" she paused turning to meet his gaze. "No… not yet."

Barry shook his head a sound between a cough and a chuckle left him. "I'm going to give you a little bit of the same advice you had for me less than a week ago. How is he going to know how you feel if you don't tell him?"

"I just… it's not really the best time," Felicity deflected. She knew they needed to talk. They should have talked the day she went off to her office. "Maybe now that the funerals are over we can talk."

"The best thing Caitlin and I ever did was finally talk. Got it all out in the open. We'd wasted so much time," Barry said rubbing his hand over his thigh. "Not that I view what we had as a waste of time mind you," he said both of them blushing. "I only mean we could have been together sooner. You owe it to both you and Oliver to see where and if there is room in each of your futures for each other."

"I know Barry, we will," Felicity stated before moving toward the doorway to the hall. "Is Caitlin here?"

"No she didn't feel it was proper to come. She didn't know your friends and I'm only here to be supportive of you," Barry said rising from the stool to follow her.

"Come, you can meet my mother and Livi before I put her to bed," Felicity said as she headed back out into the main living area in search of her mom and Livi. She was determined that sometime in the near future her and Oliver would talk. Hopefully before she got another lecture from someone about needing to talk.

-F-

Felicity made her way back downstairs after getting Livi to sleep. Livi had fought going to sleep harder than normal. There was too many people in the house. She wasn't sure if it just distracted Livi or if it made the little girl uncomfortable.

Felicity hoped that soon everyone would be gone. She wanted to grieve alone now, well maybe not alone. She wanted what they'd had on Sunday. Just the three of them; Livi, her and Oliver. She honestly wouldn't mind Quentin and her mother as well. They could all get through it together.

The crowd appeared to have thinned as she made her way down the stairs. She reached the bottom and turned toward the hall intent on heading toward the kitchen. She heard someone say Oliver's name and turned to head in that direction, hoping to run into him to help clear guests out of the house.

Instead she slowed to a stop as Oliver wasn't part of the group of three standing close together. She pressed herself against the wall, a bit of guilt slipping along her nerve endings as she eavesdropped on the conversation.

"He canceled his trip to Central City this week," one of the men said, annoyance dripping from his tone. The guilt she felt evaporated replaced with disgust. These people were at her friend's farewell reception. Of course Oliver would have cancelled his trip.

"That was too be expected, I'm sure it was just postponed for the funeral," the younger man in the group said.

"Well if it was just for the funeral that wouldn't be a problem. Robert informed the board just last week that his son was undecided. That he'd talk to him and get back to the board then the wreck happened," the first man explained shaking his head. "The investors are starting to get cold feet about the expansion to Central City. Firstly, there's been the building issues we've been plagued with, secondly the whole project just recently went over budget. So they aren't impressed that there hasn't been anyone secured in place yet."

"Has the board interviewed anyone else to head up the division there?" A older woman in an impeccably tailored suit asked, chiming in as the younger man started shaking his head.

"We've seen the candidates but none of them are going to hold a candle to an actual Queen at the helm," the younger man explained.

"I agree, the only thing that is going to bring the investors back in will be to have Oliver permanently instated. That had been the plan since the planning stages," the first man said with a firm head shake.

"Even with all his indiscretions?" the woman asked, her judgemental tone gave Felicity the impression she didn't agree.

"Being Queen Consolidated a Queen is prefered. He has never not been a good businessman, like his father. It was always his personal life that was a mess," the first man stated as Felicity listened her knees getting weaker where she stood. Letting what they were discussing settle into her mind. "Of course now who knows. I heard that he was named as guardian to that orphan. There are rumors that Oliver may stay to help care for the child as a misguided obligation to his best friend. I haven't talked to Robert yet but I doubt he would condone Oliver making that decision."

"I would say not! Him backing out now would look terrible on an already troubled venture," the woman sighed and shifted. "I imagine the investors will see it as a snub. We don't need them backing out now."

"I wouldn't worry too much," a new voice chimed in, Felicity recognized him as one of the Queen family lawyers. She started to shift away down the hall toward the bathroom, her mind reeling at what she was hearing. "Now that the funerals are over we'll finish up all the legal loose ends. Robert will suggest allowing Miss Smoak sole custody..."

The lawyer's voice trailed off as Felicity finally reached the bathroom and slipped inside. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was afraid it would burst. She slowly slid down the door to the floor. Hot tears slipped free to fall on to her cheek as her heart, for the second time in a week, broke all over again.

Oliver was leaving.

Of course he was leaving. The remnants of a far away conversation with Laurel about Oliver being gone from Starling frequently to Central City. Felicity had played it off as him visiting Isabel. It had been before she learned that they'd been over for months.

Felicity had been so focused on finishing out her contract and her own business growing that she hadn't really paid much attention to what was going on with QC. Of course she should have seen it. She should have known. They'd just spent the better part of two years building a new division in Central City, it only made sense that they'd want an actual Queen at the helm.

Felicity felt so stupid.

Her head hurt as it spun over all the decisions that had been made in the last several days. Oliver pushing to handle everything as soon as possible. His parents taking the reigns to make sure everything went smoothly and quickly. Why the rush unless…

Felicity suddenly felt like she was going to vomit.

She shot forward and lifted the lid on the toilet before she wretched on the floor instead. There was nothing to bring up though but stomach acid, she'd been too distraught that morning for breakfast and the rest of the day had passed in a blur. It didn't stop her body from going through the motions as she dry heaved multiple times before she slipped to her butt on the floor. She sobbed as she gripped tightly onto the cold porcelain, resting her forehead on her hands.

How had she allowed herself to get so lost?

Oliver had wanted to talk, that morning that she had to go into her office. Felicity knew that her mother had talked to them both. It centered on making sure they were on the same page. She hadn't been ready for Oliver to try to talk to her so soon. But maybe that had more to do with Livi than she thought.

What had he said?

Felicity played over the exchange that morning in her mind. She'd been in a rush to get to the office, needing alone time to break down in private and to fix a problem for a client who had been with her since the beginning. Oliver had said there were things they needed to talk about; to clear the air. They needed to discuss how they should handle Livi.

Oh god, she thought as her heart seized in her chest. It hadn't been about them at all. He had likely wanted to tell her about Central City then. Maybe that's why he'd pulled away from Livi after they'd picked her up, not wanting to become too attached. His father probably already telling him what a bad idea it would be to take on a child.

But Sunday had been so wonderful, despite the sad burial of Sara, the day had been okay. Hell, ever since the accident they had worked well together. Putting Livi's needs first helped keep them afloat. She let her mother's claim that he loved her cloud her thoughts. Felicity had allowed herself to believe it, even without him saying it.

She curled around her knees, pressing her face into her skin and cried. Her heart falling to pieces as she realized how wrong she had been. She sobbed and let it all go. Allowing herself this moment to fall apart.

Until that moment in the hall, Felicity hadn't realized just how badly she'd wanted it all. Oliver, Livi… them together as a family. But there was no way that could happen. Not if Oliver was going to Central City, and he should. It was his family's legacy, his rightful spot was there. He'd worked so hard.

Felicity wasn't sure how long she'd sat there on the floor wallowing in her misery before she'd started to pull herself back together. Steeling her spine and heart as she drew the pieces back together. Losing Laurel was horrible and the hardest thing she'd ever go through in her life. She could survive not having Oliver.

She wouldn't give up Livi though, not without a fight. Felicity wasn't sure how she would do it, but her mother did it. Donna had raised her on a single mother's salary, and helped shape her into the person she was. If her mother could do it surely she could too.

A soft knock on the door startled her. Felicity quickly pulled herself up off the floor. She flushed the empty toilet then moved to the sink.

"Just a moment," she called stiffly through the door as she turned on the taps.

"No rush," Lyla's voice came through the door. Felicity relaxed.

Felicity splashed water on her face, rubbing at the smudged mascara under her eyes. Frustrated she grabbed a tissue and rubbed at the coal black color until it was gone. Her skin pink from the effort but she couldn't have cared less. One look in the mirror and she wished she could just stay there in the bathroom. Instead she dried her hands on the hand towel and fixed her hair, steeling herself to join the others again.

She straightened her spine, drew in deep breaths and hoped for strength. She pulled the door open and gave Lyla a small smile. "All yours."

"Actually, someone saw you slip in there and I just came to find you to say good-bye," Lyla opened her arms and pulled Felicity into a hug before she could protest. Felicity hesitated a moment before hugging her back.

After a moment Lyla pulled back to study her.

"I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but…" Lyla sighed, letting her hands fall away from Felicity. "The light is there, and it will get better. You'll shed less and less tears, until one day you'll realize it's been a while. Remember, if you guys need anything at all John and I are available. My numb-"

Felicity allowed her to believe she'd been crying over Laurel and Tommy. Her sentiments worked for a broken heart too. It was time to find Oliver and get this over with so she could move on.

"Your number is on the fridge," Felicity interrupted her, nodding her head. "I'll contact you if I need anything at all. Promise."

"Okay," Lyla smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "See you later then."

"Bye Lyla, thanks for coming," Felicity said walking Lyla toward the front door. John and Andrew were already on the front step. "Thanks for coming John."

"They were good friends, gone too soon. We were glad to come help say goodbye," John said, adjusting a sleepy Andrew at his shoulder. Wrapping his arm around Lyla he guided his little family back toward their house.

Felicity drew in a shallow breath, closing her eyes. It was time to go talk with Oliver.

-F-

Felicity made her way through the house, saying goodbye to other people as they were leaving. All kind and offering her encouragement and support in regards to Livi. They complimented her on a lovely funeral. She said she would pass along the compliments to Mrs. Queen.

She talked briefly with the sitter about Livi returning on Monday, as Felicity decided to take the rest of the week off. They were supposed to meet with the judge on Thursday morning. Felicity would still need to talk with her own lawyer in regards to asking for sole custody. It was time someone other than Oliver made the decisions.

By the time she found him sitting on the back deck the house was mostly empty. All that remained was a stoic Quentin sitting in a chair in one of the main living rooms, watching an old footgame on demand. Donna sat close to him talking with Thea Queen.

Oliver looked up as she moved out onto the porch. His eyes red rimmed and she stood a little straighter, making sure to keep distance between them. His eyes searched her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked finally, eyes returning to hers.

"I'm fine," Felicity stated. She clasped her hands in front of her, fiddling with her fingers as she searched for a way to begin the conversation they needed to have.

"You look…" his voice trailed off as concern and worry seeped into his already tired expression. "Off."

"My best friend died less than a week ago, exactly how am I supposed to look?" Felicity shrugged.

"Right," Oliver said looking away. He rubbed his hands over his face, before dropping them away. "I'm sorry."

Felicity felt like she was standing at the edge of a precipice and couldn't see the bottom. She breathed deeply grounding herself. She waited for Oliver's eyes to come back to her. Chewing the inside of her lip she decided it was now or never.

"We need to talk Oliver," she stated firmly, throwing herself over the edge into a free fall. Her stomach clenched as she watched Oliver sigh and slump lower onto the chair he sat on.

"Right now?" he asked guardedly, eyes never leaving hers.

"I would prefer that, yes," she said firmly, stronger than she felt. Felicity breathed deeply and crossed her arms across her chest. She decided it would probably be best to rip the bandaid off in one pull. "I am going to ask the judge for custody of Oliv-"

"What?" Oliver asked, shock evident in his tone and the look in his eyes.

"I think it's best that only one of us do it," she said quickly in order to explain. "I don't see the judge giving her to both of us since we aren't married, hell we aren't even a couple, and just barely friends."

"I thought that we both would be taking on this responsibility, like Tommy and Laurel wanted," Oliver replied, something like disappointment in his tone which shifted into something a bit darker before he continued. "That was the impression I got when we sat in that damned CPS office and both said we'd take her!"

"We have to think about this rationally, and logically Oliver!" Felicity snapped, beginning to pace along the porch. "It was great that they appointed both of us because then at least we get to have the choice in where Livi goes. I know you're capable and wonderful with her, but can you honestly say you could care for her alone in Central City?"

"What are you talking about?" Oliver asked sounding confused. He reached out snagging her arm, stopping her in her tracks. "What about Central City has anything to do with us deciding what to do about Livi?"

"It has everything to do with her! If you're living there and me here, it'll be too complicated for both of us to care for her!" Felicity pulled her arm away from him. She couldn't think straight if he was going to touch her, her heart did wild things whenever he touched her. If there was anything she needed to do right now was to have her head screwed on straight.

"Wait, you think I'm moving to Central City?" He asked with a dark chuckle. "That's just-"

"Of course you are!" Felicity said as she turned back on him. Glaring as his laugh cut off. "It's what you've been planning for years!"

"Felicity, I am not going to Central City!" Oliver stated firmly, his eyes locked on hers. "I need to go but only for a few days. I have loose ends to tie up, but I am coming back here. I will say it again, I am not moving to Central City!"

The confidence in his tone made her wonder if he was right. But then all the comments she'd heard before in the hall played through her mind. Reminding her of his responsibilities to his family, their business, the angry investors. No he couldn't stay here because of Livi.

"You've spent two years working hard on that expansion. The company is counting on you doing your job. You can't throw that all away just to stay here out of some obligation to Livi! Tommy wouldn't have wanted that!"

"Don't tell me what Tommy would have wanted!" Oliver yelled rising up onto his feet, glaring down at her. She glared right back, causing him to take a step back. He shook his head and she heard him suck in a long breath. "I'm not staying here because I feel obligated to. This decision was made long before all of this."

"Why else would you want to stay here?" Felicity shaking her head and as she walked away from him, returning to pacing. This man could be so stubborn. "Oliver, you can't do this. Your responsibility lies with your family and the commitments you've made with the company."

"Felicity-"

Felicity turned back to face him, reaching for one of his forearms as she smiled up at him. "If you're worried about me and Livi you shouldn't. We will be just fine," Felicity said, switching gears to try to relieve any fear he may have. "You can visit whenever you're in town. I wouldn't ever keep Livi from you!"

"Felicity! I'm not taking the position in Central City!" he growled in frustration pulling away from her. "How many times do I need to say it? This argument is going nowhere, besides I've already discussed my decision with my parents. It's final!"

Nothing is ever final, she thought with a shake of her head.

"Well then you will just have to tell them you've reconsidered," she said flippantly waving her hand dismissively. "Because believe me it is what's best for all parties involved that you go to Central City."

Oliver stared at her, slack jawed and breathing in shallow pants. They stared at each other in a silent stalemate as he searched her face. She wasn't sure what he was looking for but he must have found it. Felicity saw the moment he made some form of a decision. Oliver's eyes closed and he rubbed his hands over his face.

When he opened his eyes, they were misty and red rimmed like they'd been when she came outside. But just as quickly his expression grew hard, cold blue eyes stared suddenly back at her. Felicity's heart squeezed painfully in her chest as she watched the shift. A look she hadn't seen since that first Thanksgiving together.

"Is that what you want?" Oliver asked his voice lower, harder. Some part of her deep down didn't want this. She wanted to say no, but she couldn't.

"It's not about what I want Oliver, it's about what is the best decision for everyone involved," she answered, watching him closely. Something gnawed at her stomach about his hard closed off gaze. "You know I'm right."

"Right," Oliver gave a short nod and she sagged with relief as he agreed with her, it was short lived as her earlier grief started to leak in. "As always, whatever you want Felicity," he bit out just as he turned and headed for the house.

With Oliver's back to her the feeling that this was all wrong. She had expected more of a fight. Like before they'd become friendlier. This Oliver was not the one she'd expected. The wrong feeling chipped away at her relief.

Felicity played over the conversation in her mind. One of his statements playing over in his mind. The decision had been made a long time ago, before all of this.

But why? What reason would he have had to stay before?

Felicity felt what was left of her resolve slip away the closer he got to the house, each step he took away pulled more of her wall away. Her own heart fighting against a separation it didn't want. She couldn't let him leave without knowing the why. The mystery would kill her. Felicity followed after him grabbing his hand before he was all the way through the door into the kitchen.

"Oliver wait?"

Oliver stopped, but didn't turn to look at her. "What do you want Felicity?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" He forced out through gritted teeth and she let go of his arm.

"Why were you going to stay?" Felicity asked as they finished entering the kitchen.

"It doesn't matter," Oliver said dismissively, heading toward the door to the hall, not bothering to turn and look at her.

"It matters to me!" Felicity shouted at him, he stopped suddenly. "I want to know why! You said you made the decision before all of this! So why were you going to stay?"

Oliver finally whirled around to face her. "It didn't just a moment ago! I told you I wasn't moving and you just kept pushing," he quickly closed the distance between them, his blue eyes hard and full of anger. "Now you want to know why? What is it Felicity? Go or stay?! Be my friend but keep your distance! Talk to me but only about the things that you deem are okay!" Oliver snapped at her. "I never really know which end is up with you, Felicity."

"That's not fair!" Felicity snapped back at him. How dare he make it out like she's the only one with the issues. "I'm not the only one who runs hot and cold you know! One moment you're bringing me coffee, then almost like a switch is thrown you'll storm away from me. What am I supposed to think. I'm not the only one with issues here!"

"Felicity, I.." Oliver groaned and closed his eyes. "We can't keep doing this," he said eyes opening up to lock on hers again. The hard look on his face slipping away, giving way to exhaustion. "I thought we were done messing around with each other."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we need to stop lying to each other and ourselves," he explained. He released a breath and breathed out, "You are the reason I don't want to go to Central City."

What? Felicity stared up at him, her jaw going slack. "Because of me? Why me?"

Oliver watched her, his blue eyes glassy as they searched his. He closed his eyes, sighed then pulled a stool over and sat in it.

"You really don't know?" Oliver asked shaking his head, he reached for her hand. She allowed it without a thought. "Felicity, because I'm in love with you."

Felicity laughed. She couldn't stop the bubble of laughter if she tried. She tried to pull her hand away. Oliver gripped her hand tighter, not allowing her to pull away.

She had just spent so much time in the bathroom telling herself that he didn't love her and here he was saying those words. The shoddy wall she'd stitched together in the bathroom started to crumble. With all the emotional trauma over the last six days she didn't think she could keep it up much longer.

"That's funny to you?" He asked, a small smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.

Felicity bit her lip to stave off the giggles. The idea that it was so easy for him to say. After everything. It didn't make sense.

"You're in love with me?" She asked her eyes searching his.

"To be brutally honest, I've been in love with you for over a year," he clarified, his fingers releasing her hand and she stepped back half a step, bumping into one of the island stools.

"Oh my gosh," Felicity breathed, she sat down on the stool. "I don't… When?"

"I think that I started falling for you just before the wedding," he started, Felicity's eyes flitted to his. "I hadn't expected your snub that day to sting so badly. We had just started getting along some after that horrible first date and all the ways we'd tried to irritate each other."

Felicity could see it perfectly in her mind. The wedding having been one of the lowest points of their entire relationship. "But the things you-"

"I was angry and hurt. I had started to really like you. Thank you for yelling at me that night though," Oliver said with a chuckle. She could see it then. The way she'd been so happy to not see him til Thanksgiving. The way she'd pushed him onto Sara, and walked away, grateful to have had that one dance done and out of the way.

Felicity felt horrible, that she had missed all the signs. "Why are you thanking me for that?"

"Because you called me out on my shit. For the first time in my life I knew I had disappointed someone that I had started to really like. When you called me Ollie that night I knew I had fucked up royally. I'm sorry that it wasn't much better afterward," Oliver said with a deep sigh. "But I knew I was falling that day you agreed to meet me for lunch after that disaster at Thanksgiving. I'd never seen you look more beautiful than you did that day."

Felicity blushed, remembering meeting him at the cafe dressed like a hobo compared to Isabel. She had hoped that Oliver would have forgotten all about her in yoga pants and a sweater. "Wow, I just… I had hoped that no one would remember that."

"Felicity, I could never forget something like that," Oliver sighed and Felicity looked away, chewing on her lip.

"I don't know...," Felicity started, her voice watery and Oliver reached out for her hand, he laced his fingers with hers and squeezed. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. There were so many times I wanted to tell you. I tried at the grand opening celebration for Applied Sciences, but Barry showed up and I …" Oliver paused. Oh jeez, yeah she remembered that. He'd said he wanted to talk to her, but she had brushed him off when Barry arrived. Ugh, she had been so blind.

"Look, I know he's your friend or whatever and I don't want to come between that. I don't expect anything from saying this, but keeping it in doesn't make sense anymore. I hope you can understand that," he dropped her hand and she bit painfully into her lip, missing his contact instantly. "You are right though, it may be better if only one of us asked the judge for custody of Livi. It would be less complicated. But I definitely do not plan on moving to Central City. That is unless you really want-"

"No…" Felicity almost shouted. Oliver smiled. "No, I don't want you to go to Central City. I-"

"You don't have to say anything else," Oliver stopped her, rising up off his stool. "It's been a long emotional day."

"Wait… I really need to...," Felicity stepped off her stool and closed the distance between them. She tipped her head up to look into his eyes. She drew in a slow breath and blew it out slowly steadying herself. She pushed away all the fear she had at allowing herself to finally allow herself to accept what she was about to say.

"Oliver, I love you too."


	14. Oliver

_“Oliver, I love you too.”_

Oliver let Felicity’s words wash over him. A soothing balm to frayed nerves. He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to close the distance between them and kiss her. It wasn't that he didn't want to, his mind was thrown into a tailspin of questions at her declaration.

His anger and frustration from her trying to force him out of her life returned full force. If she truly loved him why had she tried so hard to push him away. He couldn’t allow it to slide, it had hurt to have her say it was the best option. But right now really wasn’t the time to talk about it.

Oliver opened his eyes and found her inquisitive gaze on him. Felicity’s smile slipped, wavering just enough to show him that his reaction wasn’t exactly what she had expected.

“Is everything okay?” she asked as he stepped back away from her. Her eyebrows pinching together, her body leaned forward toward him.

“I don’t know if right now is a great time to go into everything,” Oliver stated slowly as he sat back down on the stool.

“What’s wrong with right now?” Felicity asked, retreating to her own stool, looking at him warily.

“Do I really need to answer that?” he asked with a frown. They’d buried their friends just hours ago, his emotions were raw and unsettled. Other than their admissions this day had been one of the worst in his life, rivaled only by the day of the crash.

“I um…” her voice trailed off as she looked away, her lip caught between her lips as she frowned.

This was quickly becoming awkward. As angry as he was at her for pushing him away, for assuming she knew what was best for all of them, he did love her. Every part of her, even the most infuriating parts that often made him want to shake some sense into her. He didn’t want her to think for a second that he didn’t appreciate her admission.

“I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that love me too,” Oliver started, watching her gaze shift back to him, the smile returning. Felicity’s answering smile was softer, her eyes brightened. He could tell from the look of her mouth that she was doing that chewing thing.

“But?” she offered softly her smile slipping a little, head tilting to study him. “You don't look as happy as I feel right now, or rather did. Right now I'm kind of trying to figure out how us saying I love you to each other has you looking so constipated!” Oliver couldn’t help it, he chuckled and she closed her eyes opening them again looking flustered. “I didn’t mean constipated… I meant consternated. Or contemplative or…”

“It’s okay Felicity,” he said on a sigh, smiling fondly at her. “I am happy… I just think there is a lot we need to discuss, but we still have guests here that we should see off. I have a few questions and if I ask them right now we could end up in a fight and I really can’t emotionally deal with it right now.”

Oliver felt himself grow agitated again despite trying to control his voice. Felicity looked away, fidgeting on the stool she sat on. He could see the gears turning and he worried what she might say. He wasn’t up for a fight. Instead she sighed and returned her gaze to him.

“You’re right, Oliver. It’s not the best time,” Felicity said softly.

“But we will finish this talk, and decide how to go forward,” he shifted on his seat and she nodded. Of course maybe it wasn’t the best time right now, or the best place but maybe if they could get away for a little bit. “Do you think your mother would take care of Livi for a couple hours?”

“I would,” Donna’s voice made them both startle and turn to look in her direction. She held a teary eyed Livi on her hip.

“Oh mom,” Felicity slid off her stool and quickly moved across the kitchen and into the attached dining room. “How long has she been up?”

“Just a few minutes. She was fussing so Moira and I went to get her,” Donna explained just as Moira came into the room. “It was no problem truly.”

“Donna, I see you’ve found them!” Moira said with a smile. Her eyes met his and no one else would have noticed it but her head just slightly. She must have sensed something. Nothing was missed by his mother. “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything.”

“No mom, you’re not,” Oliver replied standing, ready to go run people off, in the nicest way possible. “Is there many guests left?”

“No, your father has sent most of them on their way. You were right earlier, we shouldn’t have opened it to so many people. I didn’t know so many would come,” Moira crossed her arms over her chest and watched him.

Oliver had tried to tell her that it wouldn’t be wise. Half the people who came only did because they could say that they did, not because they actually knew Tommy or Laurel. It made him uncomfortable to have so many people milling around the home that his friends had created. People who didn’t care about them the way that he did.

“I’m just grateful this day is over,” Oliver said on a sigh as Felicity took a reaching Livi from her mother.

“Agreed,” Felicity said holding Livi close.

“Your father and I are going to go Oliver. Did you or Felicity need anything else?” Moira asked, placing her hand on his forearm.

“Moira, you and Robert are welcome to stay. I thought I could make dinner while these two get out of here for a little while,” Donna offered and Oliver caught the shocked horrified expression that flittered across Felicity’s face.

“Mom you really don’t have to make dinner,” Felicity protested.

“We’d love to stay, maybe I can help. I’m not especially versed in the kitchen but I could help tend to Livi. Felicity and Oliver you really should go and have a breather,” Moira answered helpfully and reached for Livi. Livi giggled and went willingly into his mother’s arms. He felt his heart swell at that. “I’ll just go let Robert know.”

They all watched as Moira left the room, bouncing Livi happily on her hip. It amazed him how much happiness that little display caused him. On a day when things should have been so bleak and empty. Oliver found he was grateful for the little things.

“Won’t this be wonderful baby girl?” Donna asked with too much excitement. Felicity’s face blanched as she shook her head.

“I don’t-” she groaned and wiped a hand over her face. Her eyes slightly wild with panic as she looked to him then back at her mom. “You know maybe Oliver and I don’t really-”

“Come on Felicity,” Oliver said cutting her off, gently he grabbed her elbow. He was sure she was worried more about their parents being alone than anything else. It was time they did something for themselves. “Donna, if you need us at all just give us a call.”

“Will do hon, Felicity try to have some fun!” Donna called to them as he led Felicity out toward the front door.

“That isn’t going to end well,” Felicity said as he led her down to the curb where his car was parked.

“Try to have a little faith in them Felicity, this is going to be something we all have to get used to,” Oliver said as he opened the passenger door for Felicity.

“Okay, but if we come back and there is very little house left… remember that’s on you,” she said with a smirk before sliding down into the seat.

“Noted,” Oliver said with a shake of his head as he closed the car door and made his way around his car. He sent up a silent prayer that they came back to a house intact and no one with too ruffled feathers.

 

\---O---

 

Oliver drove them to a small bayside park that he’d frequented when he needed a little peace from his days. They walked silently side by side to a small open gazebo with bench seating. It was still early so most people were still at work. The sun of the early morning had given way to slightly overcast skies.

Felicity slid down onto one of the benches and watched him. Oliver for the first time started to feel nervous. Confronting her about her choices should be easy, and yet he was afraid he’d end up pushing her away. He’d been in love with her for so long but had no idea how long she had feelings for him. It could go either way.

“Oliver, whatever it is that’s eating you up, why don’t you just come out with it?” Felicity asked, he turned to look at her.

Her gaze was open and inviting. Oliver found himself releasing a bit of his tension. He hoped that they’d turned over a new leaf. That they could be open and honest with each other, that she would tell him what she was really thinking. He breathed deeply then jumped in with both feet.

“If you love me, why were you trying so hard to send me away without asking me how I felt about it? Without asking me if what you’d obviously heard was true?” Oliver asked in a rush, stopping to stare at her. The earlier irritation coming back. The hurt of being rejected without even a thought about how he felt making his stomach clench. He couldn’t wrap his heart around why someone would do that. “How could you do that to someone you claim to love?”

A kaleidoscope of emotions flitted across Felicity’s face before she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. She closed her eyes and drew in a slow breath. Oliver tried to brace himself. He couldn’t know what she was going to say.

“Oliver, first, I love you. I truly do, I wasn’t just saying that because you had said it. I feel it with everything inside of me, and it’s...,” her eyes opened and met his. The truth evident in the way she looked at him. Felicity’s lip quirked before she looked away, back to the floor before continuing. “It’s taken me a very long time to admit that. I’m so sorry that I caused you pain. You’re right of course. How can someone do that to someone they love? I was… am scared Oliver. The last person I gave my heart over to crushed it.”

Oliver closed the open space between them as her voice cracked, he slid onto the bench beside her. She turned and accepted his hand as he laced his fingers between her slender ones. Their delicateness a contrast to the strength he knew she had inside.

“Felicity I-” he started and she shook her head.

“No, I need to explain. Please let me,” Felicity cut him off through a wavering voice. He nodded, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Cooper promised me a lot of things. He was a good match and I honestly thought we had everything we wanted. Apparently it was too good for him. Too simplified, he wanted someone who challenged him, we were too alike.”

“For months after he ended things I questioned every choice I had ever made. I honestly thought that if Cooper, who I thought was perfect, wasn’t the right fit for me, then what did that mean for me. Then I met you.”

Oliver groaned and Felicity squeezed his fingers. The first date that never was. The memory was so distant now but still easy to drag up. He’d been such an ass.

“Don’t beat yourself up over that. You’re not that person anymore,” Felicity said confidently. “I’ve known that for a long time. But with how we met and all the fighting we did at the beginning, when I started to feel things for you I really began to worry. God, I worried about everything, I worried about what it would do to our friendships, to our working relationship. I worried that we would end up imploding and destroying everything around us. So… I tried to ignore how I was feeling. Laurel tried so hard to get me to get me to talk. But I was so used to refusing it that it became this armour.”

“When I heard those people in the hall at the house I finally realized just how much it would mean to me to lose you. You had never actually confessed to how you felt so I had no idea. So… I did what I do best. I ran, I closed up so that you couldn’t hurt me.”  
Oliver wrapped his arm around Felicity’s back as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Felicity, I had no intention on leaving.”

“I didn’t know that. I know now that I should have just asked you. I love to think that I’m this strong woman who has her shit together but… I’m really not. I make a lot of silly decisions when it comes to my personal life. Work is so much easier, it’s all laid out in black and white. But this…” she motioned between them. “Is all gray and hard for me to navigate on good days. With losing Tommy and Laurel, I just… I didn’t make the best decision,” she sighed, her body shifting against his side. “Can you forgive me?”

“Yes, of course,” he answered immediately. Because he could. How could he be angry with her for protecting herself? They really needed to work on their communication skills. If he had had the balls to tell her months ago how he felt, then maybe they could have avoided all of this. “We really need to communicate better.”

“Agreed,” Felicity bumped his shoulder. Oliver felt lighter as he played with the fingers of the hand he held. How much time had they lost over this silliness? They both should have listened to their friends a lot sooner. It shouldn’t have taken losing them to push them into communicating.

“We should start with any other questions you may have.” She said squeezing his hand again, drawing him out of his thoughts. He really only needed one more thing cleared up.

“Barry?” Oliver asked straight away as the memory of them hugging in the kitchen flittered through his mind. He knew what Tommy had told him that last day. That he believed they were just friends. That Felicity had insisted, but he found it hard to believe unless she actually said it.

“He’s just a friend Oliver, I promise,” she slid a little bit away from him so she could turn, bringing her leg up onto the bench between them. “He’s actually dating Caitlin Snow now. At least I think so.”

“Wow our Dr. Snow?” Oliver asked watching as she smiled wide and nodded.

“Yep, the same. I guess they grew up together. He’s been in love with her for years. He and I just had a … well we enjoyed each other’s company,” Felicity finished, a flush moving across her cheeks. Oliver pulled his lip between his lip to keep from saying something snarky. “You don’t have anything to worry about with him.”

“Good to hear,” Oliver said with a nod.

“So…” Felicity’s eyes shifted to his lips, her tongue darting out to move of her own. Oliver felt himself lean forward.

“So?” he breathed and her eyelids fluttered. It would be so easy to kiss her. But they were still very new, and he didn’t want to rush these things. He’d done too much of that in his past and he wanted to do it right.

“What are we going to do about us?” Felicity asked, pulling back slightly, eyes locking on his.

“How about we plan a date first?” Oliver smiled at her and watched as her lips curled into a slow grin, before slipping into a laugh.

“Ooh another first date,” Felicity rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“I promise it’ll be better this time!” Oliver said with a laugh.

“It better be,” she said as she turned and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Oliver pulled her once again against his side. Her body fitting perfectly there as they stared out at the bay. He basked in the silence and just having her close. In this moment it was easier to let go of what had happened recently. To get a reprieve from all they were going through. He was optimistic that they could get through this, if they did it together.

“What do we want to do about Olivia?” Felicity asked, breaking the silence and dragging him back to the present.

“We have the social worker coming tomorrow at noon,” Oliver said, clearing his throat, remembering the email he’d received that morning. He rubbed a hand over his thigh nervously. He wasn’t looking forward to having their lives scrutinized any further than they already were. But it was a necessary evil. They had to meet with the judge on Thursday morning.

“Yeah, she’s going to want to know what our plans are. I’m glad we agree that one of us should go for sole custody. It will make things easier and keep the waters as unmuddied as possible,” Felicity explained.

Oliver knew that she was likely thinking of herself being that person but he didn’t think that was the best option. He didn’t think he was better than her but she owned her own business, he didn’t. He had a lot of leave he could burn, he was pretty sure that her company wouldn’t be able to handle much more of her being gone. Oliver felt himself tense before he gave her his opinion on the matter.

“I’d like to be the one,” Oliver said softly, she tensed beside him instantly.

“Excuse me what? Why you?” Felicity asked pulling her hand from his and shifting away to once again turn to face him. Her voice was laced with something he could only pinpoint as betrayal.

“Because I think it would be easier for me,” Oliver started, Felicity opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head and leveled her with a stern look. “Listen to me for a minute.”

“No!” She backed away further and shook her head. Her skin flushing over as anger lit behind her eyes. “Is this because of money? Do you think it will be easier for you because you have more money than me?” Felicity ranted. “Just because you can throw around more money and have access to more lawyers doesn’t mean you’d be the better guardian for Livi!”

“Damn it! Felicity, it has nothing to do with that!” Oliver snapped back. “How could you even think that?”

“What then? You don’t think I can handle it?”

“No it isn’t that either. Will you just hear me out?!” Oliver groaned and stood up, this was going about as well as he thought it would. He turned to face her, sure that if she would just listen to him she would see his side. That the logic would speak for itself and she’d understand. “You own your own company right? I don’t, my time is more free than yours. You can’t take a leave of absence like I can, QC doesn’t need me there every day-”

“My company doesn’t need me there every day either!” Felicity protested.

“You’re wrong and if truly thought about it you would know it!” Oliver said exasperated, starting to pace. “The companies that hired you didn’t do it because of your team. They chose your company because of you. If you aren’t there they may back out. I would hate to have that happen to you. With that in mind I had already talked to my father and he’s going to allow me to take as much time off as I need. To give us time to adjust.”

Oliver turned back to look at her. She was glaring a hole through him so he quickly continued. “Maybe it has a little to do with our lawyers too.”

“Duh,” Felicity huffed and crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

“Hey, I want to make this as smooth a transition as possible so we can put it behind us. I don’t know about you but I don’t enjoy the idea of someone watching over our shoulder once a week. The sooner we can be done with all of this the better!”

Felicity stared at him as he came to a stop facing her. Her arms were still crossed but her face didn’t hold the same glare. All he could hope was that what he’d said had begun to sink in and make sense to her too. His impatience was driving him made making him rub his finger and thumb together.

“Doesn’t it make more sense?” he finally asked after the silence had dragged on.

Felicity looked away from him, her fingers tapping on her bicep. Oliver watched as her shoulders sagged and she placed her face in her hands. She shook her head before looking back up at him. Relief flooded through him when he saw her fight was gone. She hadn’t even said anything yet but he knew. He knew that she understood.

“God this is all so darn complicated,” she said finally. “Okay you’re right. It does make more sense. You know if they weren’t dead I would kill them.” As if realizing what she’d just said Felicity’s eyes welled up with tears. “Oh god… how could I… what a horrid-”

Oliver closed the distance and pulled her up off the bench, wrapping his arms around her.

“Shhh, it’s okay Felicity,” he spoke softly into the top of her head. The smell of her shampoo calming him even as she sobbed against his chest. “It’s really okay.”

“Ugh, Oliver I hate that they are gone,” she whimpered and he held her tighter. His own tears starting to cloud his vision. “I miss them so much.”

“I miss them too.” Oliver choked on his next breath. “We’ll figure it all out. I promise.”

Felicity nodded her head, her tears soaking through his shirt. “We’ll do it together.”

“Yes, together,” he responded, as she wrapped her arms around his waist and let him hold her.

A bright flash drew his gaze toward the horizon. The clouds had grown darker and swirled. A loud clap of thunder made Felicity flinch in his arms.

“I think we should head back,” Oliver said and Felicity nodded.

“Looks like it's going to-” Before Felicity could finish her statement the skies opened up and rain poured down on them.

Felicity shrieked and tried to cover her head with one arm. Oliver grabbed her other and tugged her toward the car. Despite running they’d quickly soaked through to their skin. Felicity laughed as they ran and Oliver couldn’t help but laugh in return. It was just their luck that it would rain on the.

They skidded across the grass to the passenger side of Oliver’s car. He fumbled for the keys as another flash of lightening lit up the ever darkening sky. Felicity giggled as thunder rumbled across the sky moments later, she leaned against him. He finally unlocked the car and went to open the door for her. She looked up at him before getting in, their eyes locking, drops off water dripping off her eyelashes, a smile spread wide across her lips and he felt the sudden need to kiss her.

Oliver reached forward, cupping her face with one hand and pressed his lips to hers. Felicity’s eyes fluttered closed as she surged up and pressed herself against his chest, her arms wound around his back. Her lips parted on a sigh and he slipped his tongue inside. He groand at the taste of her, something fruity from her lip gloss and minty from something he wasn’t sure, but he wanted more.

They stood there, the rain pelting down on top of them as they kissed. His heart pounding in his chest as he held her tighter to him. Another clap of thunder rumbled, so loud it set off a car alarm nearby. They pulled apart, Felicity’s lips swollen and red, her skin slightly chafed on her chin from his stubble.

“Let’s go home,” she said happily and slid into the wet seat of his car, since the door had been standing wide open.

Oliver was thankful for leather seats, and a woman who didn’t seem to care that they’d just made out in a rainstorm.

 

\----O----

 

“Felicity used to sleepwalk. She would get up and wander into my room, and stand beside my bed. Her eyes would be open but if I tried to wake her and make her go back to bed, she’d start screaming. Oh it was horrible, I think she did that once at your house too,” Donna looked in Quentin’s direction. He smiled softly and nodded. Oliver had never realized just how close Quentin and Felicity had been. Maybe he hadn’t lost all of his daughters.

“It scared all of us,” he added looking toward Felicity. “I thought I was going to have to call 911 and have her taken to the ER. It took a lot of coaxing to get her back to bed. She didn’t remember it the next morning.”

“Oh she never does,” Donna said with a chuckle.

“Gee thank you for that lovely little trip down memory lane,” Felicity grumbled, her skin flushed, as she took a sip from her wine glass. Oliver squeezed her fingers that were laced through his under the table.

“It’s a cute story,” Oliver said and she just suck her tongue out at him.

“Thankfully I grew out of that,” Felicity said setting her glass back down on the table.

“Well Oliver used to have this thing for bandaids,” his mother said, drawing all of their attention. He could already feel his skin redden in embarrassment. Robert pulled his napkin to his lips as he laughed into his napkin.

Just great. “Mother, please-”

“Oh no Oliver, this is too good not to tell,” his mother smirked.

Apparently while they were gone the four adults had all become buddy-buddy, enough so that they’d started sharing childhood stories of Oliver and Felicity. Felicity had headed upstairs immediately upon their return to change out of her wet clothes, and he retreated to his room. Through the door he’d been made aware of the conversation going on in the dining room. So now they were being tortured with stories from their past.

“Like I was saying, Oliver had a thing for bandaids. All too often Raisa or myself would find him with a box of bandaids, half of them stuck to him or on whatever furniture was close. Sometimes even his favorite stuffed dog Scruf would be wearing them. Well one day when he was five I found him in our bathroom. A whole package of panty liners were stuck all over him, and the walls. He called them jumbo booboo hiders.”

Everyone around the table laughed. Oliver smiled despite the embarrassment. It was good to see everyone in light spirits given the event of the day. It was a wonderful step in a long process of healing. He was sure they all had a long way to go but this was a really nice start. Felicity tugged his hand and he looked in her direction, her smile light and airy. He’d give anything to have her smile like that all the time.

“Oliver was the sweetest little boy, actually most days you still are son,” Moira finished with a sigh, her eyes misty as they met his. “I can’t wait to see how you parent little Livi here.”

“You guys will make good parents,” Quentin said looking in their direction. It meant an awful lot coming from him. The only reason they were becoming parents was because of his loss.

“Thank you Quentin,” Felicity said, tears about to break fall off her eyelash.

“It isn’t ideal I know,” Donna spoke softly. “But we all believe that the two of you are the only choice that makes sense for Olivia.”

“And we are all so glad that you are both going to take care of her,” Quentin added, his voice rough, tears in his eyes.  
Oliver breathed shallow and blinked his prickled eyes against the tears he felt coming. “Thanks.”

“No thanks needed son. If either of you need any help any of us are here. I know at first I worried about whether this would be the right decision but...,” Robert said, setting his napkin on the table. His and his father’s eyes met over the table and his father smiled. “It seems right. Moira darling I do believe it’s getting late.”

Donna looked at her wrist at the same time that Moira did. “Wow yes, it’s already eight o’clock.”

“Thank you Donna for a lovely meal,” Moira said as she too set her napkin on the table, standing to grab up the plate in front of her.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll get it,” Felicity said, releasing his hand and standing. He stood as well, picking up his plate and reaching for his father’s.

“Nonsense,” Donna said standing and taking the plate from Felicity and the ones he had. “You two go get Livi ready for bed. Moira, Robert, it was nice getting to spend some time with you.”

“Likewise, we should try to do this again. When will you be heading back to Las Vegas?” Moira asked, as Robert stood and pulled his suit jacket back on.

“Well,” Donna looked toward Quentin and then to Felicity where she stood cleaning up Livi in her highchair. Oliver watched a small smile tugged at Quentin’s lip before he looked away. Hmm. “I haven’t decided quite yet. The bed and breakfast I own is in good hands. But we definitely should do dinner again.”

“Next time we should do it at our home,” Moira answered.

“Yes, that would be great,” Felicity said lifting Livi from her chair.

Livi rubbed her eyes and laid her head on Felicity’s shoulder. The little girl had to be exhausted. All the stimulation from the day had to be wearing on her. Oliver suddenly felt his own level of fatigue settle over him. He was ready to be done with the day.

“Thank you Robert and Moira,” Felicity said as she stepped close to his parents. Moira embraced her and Livi at the same time, kissing the little girl on the back of her head. She whispered something to Felicity and she closed her head and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good night darlings. Livi, sweet dreams baby,” his mother rubbed her back and pulled away turning toward him.

Oliver wrapped his arms around his mother and kissed her forehead. “Thank you mom, for everything.”

“What kind of mother would I be if I wasn’t there when you needed me. Besides, Tommy was like my second son. I’m going to miss him just as much,” Moira brushed a kiss against his cheek and stepped back.

Oliver watched as Robert shook hands with Quentin, who had stood and started to stack plates just like Donna was doing. Then turned to Oliver. He held his hand out and Oliver made to shake it. Instead his father pulled him in for a hug.

“I love you son, we will all get through this one day at a time. Take all the time you need like we discussed,” his father said softly before letting him go. “As always it was a joy Felicity, even with the grave circumstances. Again if you need anything you know how to reach us.”

“Thank you Robert,” Felicity said as she started to head toward the hallway. “Have a good evening and be careful heading home.”

Oliver walked his parents to the door and watched as they left. He let out a sigh and turned to drag himself back into the house. He headed into the dining room and grabbed up some of the wine glasses, and took them into the kitchen. Before he headed upstairs to check on Livi and Felicity he wanted to ask a favor.

Donna was loading the plates into the dishwasher, she looked up when he entered. “Hey handsome, what’s up?”

Oliver smiled, unable to stop it. She was always saying things that caught him off guard. He set the wine glasses down to the side of the sink and leaned against the counter.

“I know you’ve been helping out a lot with Livi and I appreciate it. I was wondering if you would mind taking care of Livi on Friday?” he asked and watched as she looked up at him.

“Did you guys finally talk?” Donna picked up one of the wine glasses and turned on the water, filling the glass. Quentin headed back out into the dining room, pulling up silverware.

“Yeah, we talked,” Oliver grinned as a soft chuckle fell from Quentin as he returned to the kitchen.

“Good hunny, it was about time. Lord knows you two been dancing around. I take it went well?” Donna asked washing another wine glass before setting it on the sideboard.

“Yes, so if you wouldn’t mind watching Livi Friday, I’d like to take Felicity out,” he hadn’t even finished before Donna was nodding her head.

“I’d love to. Now you look like a man who needs some sleep. Get out of here,” she pushed on him, her wet hand soaking through his tshirt. “Quentin and I will close up when we’re done.”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Oliver protested lightly, his own bed actually calling to him for once.

“I know I don’t, but I want to.”

“You haven’t learned yet not to argue with a Smoak woman?” Quentin asked as he put the silverware into the dishwasher, his eyes meeting Oliver’s, eyebrows raised. It was a look that mirrored one of Laurel’s so closely Oliver felt a tug in his chest.

“I actually have…” Oliver said with a smile, motioned toward the doorway. “I guess I’ll go. Thank you both for the help.”

“Don’t mention it,” Quentin said as he moved beside Donna, closing the dishwasher and picking up a dish cloth.

Oliver watched as they worked together in silence before he quietly left them to it, heading down the hall to his room. Oliver wondered if Felicity was aware of how close the two were growing. It warmed his heart to see that maybe not everything about losing their friends was horrible. That maybe there would be some light in all of it.

 

\--O---

 

Oliver decided to shower and get into night clothes before heading up to check on Livi and Felicity. He figured it would give her time to see to Livi and just enjoy some quiet time. He slipped into a pair of flannel pants and a gray t-shirt. Being dressed would save him the hassle once he came back down to fall into bed. He was determined he wouldn’t sleep up there on the floor tonight.

Oliver made his way up to Livi’s room, determined to check on his girls and then get some sleep. When he entered the room he found Felicity rocking a sleeping Livi in the rocking chair. Livi was sucking her thumb, the fingers of her other hand tangled in the end of Felicity’s hair.

“You’re here to rescue me right?” Felicity whispered, smiling up at him as he moved into the room.

“She’s gotten all tangled up huh,” Oliver moved to her side and gently extricated Livi’s little fingers from the soft blonde strands of Felicity’s hair. Once her hand was free he slipped his hands under her body, trying not to think about the back of his hand rubbing against the soft swell of Felicity’s breast, he turned Livi and placed her against his shoulder.

Felicity shifted and stood, following him to Livi’s crib.

“She was out within seconds of me sitting down. I know I should have moved her to her crib but…” she trailed off as Oliver lifted Livi down into her bed.

“You don’t have to apologize for loving on her,” Oliver said looking down at Livi as she turned to her side. “It’ll only help us in the long run. I am so afraid that what happened this morning is going to happen again. That was terrible.”

They’d been woken early, before the sun even came up to Livi screaming for mama and dada interchangeably. She looked wildly around and shoved at both of them when they tried to calm her. It had been a horrid start to what would be a long emotional day. Twenty minutes of screaming led to her finally passing out while she whimpered in Felicity’s arms.

“This morning was eye opening,” Felicity said softly. “We may need to see a therapist.”

Oliver turned his head to look at her. Felicity gripped the top of the crib. “Why?”

“Because we’ve all been through a huge loss,” she sighed and faced him, her eyebrows knit together in thought. “She’s lost her mom and dad, she’s going to have to learn how to cope with that change. We need help coping with our loss so we can be better parents to her. I’m not saying we need to see one because I don’t think we can’t handle this. But this morning showed me that we may need a little help understanding how babies grieve.”

Oliver nodded. He hadn’t thought about therapy, but now that she’d mentioned it it couldn’t hurt. Besides they were just learning all of this now too. Their knowledge of child rearing was limited to short stays at babysitting. It was going to be hard without having lost the two people who knew Livi best.

“Maybe you’re right,” Oliver said looking back down at Livi in the crib. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to make her life easier.

“Maybe I’m right?” Felicity poked him in the bicep making him flinch. He chuckled and turned to look at her.

“Okay, you win. Yes, I think therapy would be a good idea. I will call my mother in the morning. I remember them having Tommy see someone right after his parents died,” he smiled softly down at her as she blinked up at him. “I don’t think therapy is a bad idea at all.”

“Good, it’s something we can tell the social worker we plan on doing too. It can’t hurt right?” Felicity said and immediately yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. “Man alive I am tired.”

Oliver nodded and fought off his own yawn, reaching for her hand. “Here let me walk you to your room.”

“Such the gentleman,” Felicity said lacing her fingers through his.

“I aim to please,” Oliver said, tugging her along with him. Felicity stopping to pull Livi’s bedroom door closed. He led her to her bedroom and she turned before opening the door. He decided now was a good time to ask her to go out to dinner with him on Friday. “So… I asked your mom to watch Livi on Friday evening. Would you like to go to dinner with me?”

Felicity looked up at him and smiled. “Is this going to be that date you spoke of earlier?”

“Yes,” he watched as she bit her lip. “So what do you say?”

“I’d love to go to dinner with you Oliver,” she said with a smile.

Oliver couldn’t resist leaning down to press a soft kiss against her lips. Felicity lifted onto her tiptoes, curling her fists into his shirt and kissed him back. She opened on a gasp as her back hit the wall beside the door. He hadn’t even realized he’d pushed her back until his hands moved to her waist. Her tongue darted across his bottom lip and before things could spiral out of control he pulled back.

Oliver rested his forehead against hers and she sighed. He opened his eyes to see a small pout on her lips. Living with her while they took things slow had a high likelihood of killing him.

“Goodnight Felicity,” he breathed and he watched a smile spread across her lips, just before another yawn took over. He chuckled and pulled back.

“Goodnight,” Felicity turned to open her door, Oliver started to head for the stairs. “Hey Oliver?”

He turned before starting down the stairs, she was holding onto her door and smiling sleepily at him. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Oliver grinned. “Love you too, Felicity. Get some sleep.”


	15. Felicity

Felicity loathed this social worker, Miss Lindy Ander. The lady was about as warm as a dip in an iced over lake. She slammed a drawer in the kitchen in her frustration. Her irritation amplified when the slow stops on the drawer stopped it from actually slamming. She was close to screaming even as a small voice in the back of her mind told her to calm down and let it go.

But Felicity didn’t want to let it go.

Not only had this woman shown up at nine am, clearly not at noon like the email had said, but she had done nothing but look down her nose at them. If Felicity didn’t know how important her opinion was she would have told the lady to shove her judgement where the sun didn’t shine and go on happily with her life. But her opinion did matter and boy did that grate on Felicity’s nerves.

They’d been in the middle of making breakfast when the doorbell had sounded. Oliver was pouring pancakes on a griddle, Livi covered in smashed blueberries, and Felicity’s first cup of coffee only a quarter of the way gone since she had been the last to rise. All of them still in pajamas. 

The night had been total crap Livi woke up screaming only an hour after Felicity had finally managed to fall asleep. Admittedly, it had taken her a while after her and Oliver's heated kiss in the hallway. Mistletoe kiss couldn't hold a candle to that one, falling third to the make out in the rain. 

Anyway there had been very little actual sleep. Oliver and her took turns trying to calm a very upset and out of sorts Livi. So they were all very disheveled and none in the best of moods. Except maybe Livi who was all smiles in her blueberry covered mess. But yeah Felicity had not been in the best of moods to start with. 

Oliver had gone to get the door, returning, with a deep furrow in his brow, Miss Ander on his heels. He gave Felicity an apologetic look as he offered the woman a cup of coffee, which she declined. She sat down on a stool at the island and hauled out a yellow notepad. Lindy had looked around the kitchen and immediately started writing on the pad. 

Felicity let Oliver do the talking, trying to down her hot coffee fast enough to wake up and be somewhat human, burning her tongue and throat in the process. He apologized for getting the meeting time wrong, that they’d expected her later. Lindy gave a long annoyed sigh and explained that the social worker that was supposed to see them had called out sick that morning. She was going out of her way to fit them in before they went to court the next day.

Two hours later, with Livi napping upstairs, Oliver was finally walking the woman to the door and all Felicity wanted was a time machine. She wanted Laurel and Tommy back so she wouldn’t have to deal with all this 

They shouldn’t have to answer five million questions about why they felt they would be better than an actual couple looking for a child. She didn’t want someone questioning her ability to be a successful business woman and a surrogate mother to her late friend’s daughter. Stupid ridiculous questions about what they really knew about child rearing, and how they thought they’d handle her as a teenager.

How would they know that right now? Livi wasn’t even two years old, she barely talked, only took a couple steps at a time! Why ask questions that people couldn’t possibly have answers to?

It took great restraint to not bite out snarky remarks, keeping her answers short and too the point. Felicity’s head throbbed, and at one point she’d actually tasted blood from biting the inside of her lip to keep her mouth shut. She itched to find that yellow notepad and burn it.

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked from behind her. 

She was standing with her hands flat on the counter while she stared unseeing out the window over the sink. She could hear the worry in his voice. She drew in a deep breath trying to calm the burning anger she felt.

“No,” Felicity answered honestly, only just aware of the angry tears that tracked down her face. She wiped them away before turning to lean back against the counter, arms wrapping around her middle. “That woman is vile.”

Oliver sighed and sat down at the island, frowning at her. “Felicity, she was only doing her job.”

“You’re taking her side?” She glared at him.

“Jesus, Felicity, there isn’t a side to take in this! But, yeah maybe, if there was one I’d have to say yes!” he grumbled at her, Felicity felt her spine stiffen as new anger sizzled down it. 

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve seen you abrasive, hell, I’ve been on the receiving end it. But that... that was some next level shit!” Oliver slapped a stack of papers down on the island. “From the moment she got here, you've been this other person. I don’t understand your beef with her. She’s trying to help us.”

“Right, that’s totally what she was doing, scribbling down her little notes on that note pad of hers. Did you see the way she scrutinized every little thing we did with Livi? Looking down her nose at us, just waiting for us to do the wrong thing! Wanting to know every little detail about everything!”

“Felicity,” Oliver sighed exasperated, shaking his head.

Felicity’s irritation only gathered momentum. Of course Oliver couldn’t see the way she truly was. Only another woman would understand that kind of judgement. She probably had a handful of couples on speed dial that she felt were more qualified than them. Ones that would or had answered her loaded questions in a million better ways. 

“Some of those questions were very leading Oliver!” Felicity snapped. “Some of that was private and none of her damned business!”

“They are supposed to be leading,” he snapped angrily back at her, his hand slapping on the island. “It is her business, as Livi’s voice until the court appoints one of us, to learn what she can about us! It's her job! They want to know whether we are the best option for Livi! All you did with all your quiet seething and snipped answers was fuel any reluctance that woman may have at letting us have Livi!”

Felicity started to open her mouth to protest. That she didn’t do anything wrong but Oliver pinned her with a glare and she snapped her teeth together with a click.

“Damn it, Felicity! We were supposed to be united in this! Tommy and Laurel made it so easy for us, that display did nothing to help our case!”

“That’s not fair! I did my best-”

“Fuck Felicity!” Oliver growled out throwing his hands up, cutting her off. He stormed away from the island rubbing his hands over his face before turning back to once again glare at her. Felicity had never seen him so angry, not even that first thanksgiving could rival the anger she could see rolling off of him. She shrunk back against the counter. 

“None of this is fair, not one tiny bit of it is fair. But hey, it’s life. Did you think of Livi at all while you were stuck up there on your ivory pedestal? Because I know I was down here, thinking about how Livi deserves the absolute best, trying to answer her questions as honestly and truthfully as possible. Was it awkward? Hell yes! Was it inconvenient? Absolutely. But I tried. All you did was make it about you and how fast it could be over with.”

Felicity gaped at him, feeling like he’d slapped her. Oliver’s words stung in the face of his anger. She thought back over the meeting. The way he’d say something, trying to engage her but she just bit off something short and to the point. 

A hot tear tipped off her eyelash and rolled down her cheek. Felicity brushed it away quickly, looking away from Oliver. Oliver was right and she suddenly didn’t know what she could possibly say to make it right. Of course she’d thought of Livi. But maybe she had let her irritation get the best of her. Maybe she should have tried harder.

“I’m sorry, Oliver,” Felicity whispered before turning around to face Oliver. He was slumped on a stool staring at the papers he’d brought in with him. He cleared his throat before looking back up, misty eyes meeting her own. “You’re right. I should have done better. I let my anger over this situation cloud my judgement. I’d blame it on sleep deprivation but really… I’m just angry that we are having to deal with any of this stuff and she was the easy target.”

“Felicity, I get being upset and angry. I also understand being overwhelmed and out of sorts. All of it, I’m living this nightmare too. Neither one of us has to do this alone you know?”

“I know. I uh...” She stopped, not exactly sure what she had to add. Her anger from earlier gone, leaving her feeling empty and exhausted. She leaned against the counter, wrapping her arms around her middle.

Oliver studied her quietly. He sighed and shifted on his stool. “I know that you love Livi, and I know that you loved Laurel and Tommy, but you don’t have to do this. Neither one of us really. If you wanted to just go-”

“No, Oliver!” Felicity said quickly, moving to lean against the island in front of him, reaching across to place her hands on his where they were folded together. “Please I…” she drew in a shallow breath. “I don’t want an out, but… I think I need a few hours alone to just breathe.”

“I can go with that,” Oliver answered, nodding as he rotated his hands, grasping hers. “Maybe it would be best for us to both think about what we want for Livi. How we hope things will go tomorrow and talk about it in a couple hours?”

Oliver squeezed her hands once more before pulling away, his attention shifting the small stack of papers. Felicity wished she had paid more attention. She wasn’t even sure what those were about. She also felt awkward. 

She silently prayed that her actions hadn’t made him feel differently about her. Felicity thought to ask him. She wanted to know if they were okay still. Her eyes shifted back to the papers, Oliver’s finger and thumb rubbing together as he read one with a lot of text.

“What are those for?” she asked curiosity over the papers winning out.

“This,” Oliver held up a notebook paper, “is a list of therapists that the CPS office works with regularly. But I’m planning to call my mom first. The rest are a short summary of Tommy and Laurel’s will, custodial appointment, and a couple forms that she thought we should see. You can look at them later though if you want, since you wanted some time, it’ll give me a chance to read the first.”

“Okay,” Felicity nodded deciding it was time to go before she begged him to tell her that they were still okay. She’d gladly postpone all of that for a shower, and some time to alone to think. “If Livi wakes up-”

“I’ll take care of her, we can swap later,” Oliver said softly, smiling for the first time since the social worker left. Felicity took it as a good sign and nodded, heading upstairs.

 

\---F---

 

Felicity cried again in the shower. Huge sobs racked her body as she let herself just feel. Every bit of anger she had over the situation had hit her again with full force once she was alone.

She was angry that she couldn’t seem to go one day without breaking down somewhere and crying. Angry that her best friend had been taken from her, angry that Livi would grow up without knowing her wonderful mom. She was angry that as a result her life was now being picked apart, being measured. 

The rage she felt toward Laurel for not telling her was dwarfed only by the anger she had toward herself. Felicity should have known, knowing Laurel as the planner that she was, she should have asked about her future plans. But she hadn’t and so she’d been blindsided. 

Which was silly considering Laurel had asked her personally to be Livi’s godmother. Being appointed a godparent wasn’t a flippant decision on their part. They had asked because they trusted her and Oliver to be there just in case.

This was that ‘in case’.

Felicity scrubbed at her skin with the bar of soap until her skin was raw. She wanted to feel anything but the itch left behind as her anger ebbed away. Logically she knew this was only natural. Like Livi screaming in the middle of the night for her mom and dad. It was how someone processes the passing of a loved one. But she was bone tired of it.

With a sigh she stood and let the water flow over her, breathing as the tears finally subsided. She needed to pull herself together. Felicity knew without a doubt she needed to get a tighter hold on her emotions. Oliver was right. She had been too self absorbed, she hadn’t put her best self forward.

Felicity knew it wasn’t going to be an instant change it would take a lot of work. Thankfully she wouldn’t have to do any of this alone. She had Oliver, and her mother and Quentin, apparently even Moira and Robert Queen. Oliver was right, they didn’t have to do this alone.

With that thought she decided she needed to talk to Oliver about the custody arrangement. They needed to have that sorted before they went into court the next morning. She didn’t want to fight with him about it but Laurel and Tommy had wanted them both to take care of Livi. They would and should share the custody. She appreciated his concern for her company, but the way she saw it she was becoming a mom, that shouldn’t impact her company much at all.

What if she actually had a daughter of her own? Would she give up her company for a family? Maybe if she had too, but she knew that didn’t have to. There were a lot of very successful business women out there that held down their jobs and family with little problem. 

Felicity knew it would be a lot of work but it would be worth it. Besides, she wouldn’t be a lone.

She headed into her room and got dressed. Oliver had wanted to talk later but she felt ready to talk now. She didn’t have all the answers, realized there was no way to have all of them. The thought hit her that maybe an ‘I don’t know’ answer would have worked wonders between her and the social worker. This was all new territory and they’d have to learn things as they went. 

A phrase that Laurel used to say often was “ _ You aren’t born any one thing, you are in a constant state of flux. It’s all a learning experience, so learn to roll with it. _ ”

She was so right. Of course Laurel was almost always right about things. Like her idea that her and Oliver would be good for each other. She was probably doing a little jig wherever she was, maybe Tommy too for that matter. Felicity smiled as she pulled a brush through her damp hair. It was one of the first thoughts of the two of them that didn’t send her into tears. She felt lighter than earlier and hoped and prayed she could hold onto it for as long as possible.

 

\---F---

 

Felicity found Oliver still in the kitchen, though Livi was in her high chair eating some carrots and peas. Livi grinned from ear to ear when Felicity came through the doorway. 

“Uh uh!” Livi’s version of up as she raised her hands up high and squirmed. Oliver turned and gave her a soft smile.

“Are you done eating munchie?” She asked as she picked a pea shell off the little girl’s fingers. 

Livi waved her hands in the ‘all done’ sign and Felicity turned to look at Oliver, he gave a small nod.

“She ate a bit of chicken and almost all of her veggies, I guess she’d know if she’s all done or not,” he added as Felicity lifted her from the chair.

She hugged the little girl close, breathed in the smell of her baby shampoo, allowing it to calm her nerves before moving to sit on a stool near Oliver. Livi’s fingers immediately tangled in the long necklace she’d found of Laurel’s hanging in her bathroom. Felicity remembered Laurel had bought it because it was sturdy and safe for Livi to play with. Felicity felt better having it around her neck, as if Laurel was with her.

“Oliver, I was wondering if we could talk now,” she said softly.

“Sure,” he said as he nodded and turned in his stool to face her, moving too quickly, he misjudged the distance and his knee knocked against hers. “Sorry!” 

“It’s okay, really,” she smiled, her hand resting on his knee for a moment before Livi’s smacked down onto hers with a giggle. 

“So let’s talk.” He said signalling that she should go first.

“Okay…” she swallowed and looked at Livi in her lap. “I want us to have shared custody of Livi.” Livi looked up at her name and smiled a toothy little grin that sent Felicity’s heart fluttering. “That both of us be court appointed, 50-50, with equal rights to her.”

“Um… I thought we had discussed that already, that it would probably be best-”

“I know Oliver, and I listened to what you said, and as much as I would love to accept your offer, I can’t in good conscience do it.”

Oliver grimaced, obviously not excited about what she’d just said. She silently hoped he would be open minded though. Once she’d let what he’d said the day before settle she’d been able to agree. But that was before she really had time to sit and think about it. He gave a long deep sigh before finally nodding. “Okay, tell me what changed your mind.”

“Well there were a few things actually. First, you mentioned us being a united front. I agree wholeheartedly. I apologize for failing miserably at that this morning and I plan to be better. I was too focused on all the negative and how it was impacting me, that I lost sight of the why, which is Livi,” Felicity took a breath and shifted Livi, who had decided the papers on the counter were more interesting than the necklace, to her other knee. “Also I thought about what you'd said about my company. About how I needed to focus on that, that people chose it because of me and if I'm missing because of Livi it could cause people to leave.”

“Yeah?”

“Well I don't think that will or could happen. They chose my company because over the years I have proven myself in my industry. It’s not an easy task with other bigger companies out there. Our name is out there with very little promotion on my part. I also believe in my team, I'm confident that they are more than qualified to act in my place,” she said feeling every bit the proud mama bear she was of her team. “Which has been proven this last week. Beyond that, my clients trust my judgement. So Oliver, please don't think that this gift, and that's what this is, of sharing the responsibility of our best friends’ child is going to harm my business at all. It's not possible.”

“I just know that there will be things we can’t plan for,” Oliver said, reaching to pull Livi’s hands away from the papers again, sliding them further onto the island.

“And we will cross those bridges when we get to them,” Felicity said, letting Livi move over onto Oliver’s lap when she tried to climb out of her lap. “It would be no different than if Livi was my actual child. There are a lot of mothers out there that are successful businesswomen who balance and juggle work and family. Do you think I can’t do that just because it’s basically happening over night?”

“I didn’t mean that!” Oliver said quickly. “I believe you can do anything you want Felicity, I really just wanted to make things easier for all involved.”

“You don’t need to take everyone on yourself Oliver,” Felicity sighed and watched as Livi tried harder to climb onto the island. “Maybe put her on the floor?” she said and Oliver nodded setting Livi on the floor, watched her toddle over to the small bin of toys gibbering along the way. Felicity smiled, returning her attention to Oliver. “It’s not your responsibility to take all of this on, we’ll share it and be stronger because of it.”

“Got it, so we’ll just leave it the way it is for court tomorrow then,” Oliver said with a nod.

“You’re really okay with that?” Felicity asked, wanting to be sure they were for sure on the same page now.

“Yes, see how lovely communication can be, even without the fights,” he said with a smirked chuckling.

“You snot!” Felicity slapped his knee and moved to get up off her stool.

Oliver caught her around the waist, stopping her, pulling her close. Felicity’s heart sped as she braced herself, hands on his biceps. It amazed her how firm and warm he was under her touch. She felt like her breath was trapped in her chest for the barest of moments before she relaxed against him.

“Hey, to be serious for a moment,” he cleared his throat seemingly as affected as she was, “I should have stopped what happened this morning, Felicity. I’m sorry for not realizing how upset you were. I had wanted to just get through it. But we should have had a moment alone to discuss how both of us were feeling before we started answering her questions.”

Felicity sighed shaking her head, smoothing her hands over his grey t-shirt. Silly man, he had to stop taking on the weight of the world. But that was just one of the many things she was beginning to realize had drawn her in. She watched his adam’s apple bob before she brought her eyes up to his, a smile making its way onto her lips. 

“So we are clear, I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t either. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,” Felicity leaned in and pressed a soft lingering kiss to his cheek, pulling back. “You are wonderful Oliver, and I’m so glad to have you at my side for this.”

Oliver nodded and leaned in, brushing his nose against the side of hers. Felicity’s eyes fluttered shut, their lips were barely a breath apart when a loud squeal and tug at Felicity’s leg had her pulling away to look down. Livi stood with a bright grin on her face, a tiara on her head and a baby doll in the other hand. Oliver groaned and leaned away, moving his hands from away from Felicity’s waist slowly. 

“Well hey there princess! What ya got there?” Felicity was mildly disappointed that they’d been interrupted but there was plenty of time for them to revisit it later. There was no rush seeing as Oliver was dead set on keeping things slow. She had her own thoughts on going slow but she’d allow him this. There had already been so many changes to their lives. She knelt down to Livi’s level.

“What a cute baby you have there Livi!” She said as Livi pushed the doll toward her face. Felicity pressed a quick kiss to the forehead and Livi giggled. 

“Baba,” she said seriously and presented it up to Oliver. He laughed leaning down to kiss the doll’s forehead then came off his stool, grabbing Livi, pulling her in pressing a raspberry kiss against the side of her neck. Livi fell into a fit of giggles.

She watched as he swung her up into the air, the air dropping as Livi grabbed his forearms and squealed. It was freeing in a way to see him play with Livi as if it was just a normal day where they were helping out Laurel and Tommy. Felicity welcomed the hope that they would all get through this and be truly happy on the other side.

 

\---F---

 

Court was ended up being a lot more anticlimactic, given all the stress that led up to it. 

Felicity had been nervous and fidgety since they’d gotten up that morning. Oliver sent her to her office for a few hours so that she could put her mind to work. But it only helped until they showed up at court that afternoon. 

She stood with her stomach in knots beside Oliver, not even holding Livi could calm her nerves. Oliver’s family lawyer, Jim something, stood to the right of Oliver waiting while the judge asked questions of Mr. Rhodes and Miss Ander. Mr. Rhodes was there representing Tommy and Laurel’s interests, laying out their requests from their will, then it was Miss Ander’s turn.

Felicity’s anxiety amped up as she thought about all the things that she could have said better at their last meeting. Oliver had told her endlessly that morning, before sending her to work, that she didn’t have anything to worry about, it didn’t help. She had given the woman plenty of reasons to throw her under the bus. 

Of course Oliver had been right in the end. Miss Ander told the judge that she didn’t feel there were any reasons to keep them from being appointed her legal guardians. Oliver’s lawyer wasn’t needed as the judge said he was more than satisfied with the reports he’d read and wished them well. With a thump of his gavel the hearing was over.

Felicity had shook the social worker’s hand in a daze, so stunned she hadn’t thought anything of being pulled in for a hug from the woman. Her brain still stuck on the fact that it was essentially over. One twenty minute time period and everything was done.

As Miss Ander pulled away Felicity finally found her voice. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Miss Smoak.”

“I don’t know why you were so kind after-”

“Oh dear, you need to lighten up a little but otherwise I think you’ll do wonderful,” the woman said with a soft warm smile. “You’ve been put in an really hard situation. You’re doing just fine. I wish all of the cases I had to work had people who cared as much as the two of you do.”

Felicity stepped back, tugging Livi closer as she nodded. “Okay, well thank you.”

Oliver shook her hand with a nod. “Yes, thank you Miss Ander, for being so helpful.”

“I’ve just done my job. It’s easy to see how much you both love that little girl, and how much her parents meant to you. I wish you all the best,” Miss Ander pulled her purse onto her shoulder. “I’ll see you all in about four months to do one final check in, to be sure you all are doing well. Have a good rest of your afternoon.”

 

“It’s over,” Oliver said as he lead them out of the courthouse, his hand low on the center of her back as she carried Livi to the car. He unlocked the car once they reached it and lifted Livi from her arms. He hugged her and blew a raspberry on her cheek making the little one giggle. “You’re all ours now little one.” 

Felicity felt her heart tug hard as the words fell over her. She chewed hard on the inside of her lip, and watched as he put Livi into the car. He tickled her before standing back up and closing the door. He was buoyant and joyful, like everything was right in the world and she felt like she was suddenly suffocating.

He stood up, eyes meeting hers where she stood stiff, trying to breathe. Felicity’s throat tightened as her eyes prickled with tears. Panic ran along her nerves locking her in place. Every breath shorter than the last. Oliver’s smile slipped and he reached for her, pulling her into a hug. She pressed her face into his chest as a sob tore its way up her throat. She couldn’t stop it and trembled as he tightened his arms around her. 

“I’m so… so sorry,” she sobbed into his chest. “I should …. I should be… hap-”

“Hey,” she felt Oliver shake his head, then press a kiss into the top of her head. “Hey! It’s okay. You’re okay!”

Felicity shook her head, biting her lip to try to stymie the sobs that didn’t seem to want to stop. She couldn’t believe she was breaking down over this. She should have been happy and relieved and a part of her was but at the same time it hurt like hell. One full week from losing them, and Livi, it was all too much.

One of Oliver’s hands smoothed up her spine, up into her hair and to the base of her skull. He held her closer and pressed another kiss to the top of her head. “You’re okay, we’re all okay. It’s all over now. Just breath with me sweetie.”

Felicity did as he said, trying to match her rapid breathing to his. Slowly drawing air into her lungs. She blew it out slowly, finally feeling some of her panic ebbing. She pulled her head back, Oliver’s hand shifting down to allow her to look up at him, his other tight around her, helping her feel safe.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, eyes searching hers. His were held just the hint of red, she wondered how close he was to losing it himself.

“I think so,” she whispered, breathing out slowly. “What you said, and everything in court, I just…” she blew out a shaky breath. “She’s ours now.”

“It’s a lot, trust me I understand, and yes, she is ours now,” Oliver stated firmly, slowly rubbing her back, lessening his hold on her. “You don’t need to apologize okay?” Felicity nodded in answer, she was sure she’d have to be told it a million times until this was well behind them. “Okay. Are you sure you’re alright now?”

“Yes,” she said confidently, the last of the panic melted away. “I’m good now. I’m so-”

“Don’t say it,” Oliver chuckled, squeezing her once more before letting her go. “Let’s go get some celebratory ice cream? Maybe go see Quentin and your mother?”

“Okay… yeah I’d like that.”

Oliver walked her to the passenger side and opened the door for her, allowing her to slip into the seat. She rubbed her hands over her face as he rounded the car to the drivers side. She peeked over the seat before putting her belt on to look at Livi, who smiled back at her, playing with a stuffed pink pig. 

“Sorry about that munchie. Auntie Felicity just had a moment. I swear I’ll try to keep them to a minimum from now on,” Felicity promised, hoping it was one she could keep. With a little help she just might.

 

\---F---

 

A million little butterflies took up residence in Felicity’s stomach as she smoothed her green halter dress over her stomach and hips. It was a simple lightweight dress that moved freely about her legs falling just at her knees, she’d paired it with a pair of silver flats. Oliver had told her to wear something comfortable and with her limited selection at the moment, it was the one that jumped out at her. Oddly enough it was one she’d worn before, to Livi’s first birthday party.

Their second chance first date. 

Felicity smiled at her reflection before pulling her hair into a low ponytail. After much coercion and promises she’d agreed to letting him take her for a ride on his motorcycle. Her claims that it was a death trap, and that Livi had already lost two parents had fallen on nearly deaf ears.

Oliver had made a very valid point though, they’d been killed in a car accident, so by her logic they should never ride in a car again. She’d cried after that, and felt ridiculous. She’d called and asked to see the therapist that morning.  Now she was the proud owner of a journal and a list of exercises to calm her panic before they morphed into full on attacks.

“Wow,” Oliver’s voice behind her made her jump as she turned to face him. He was leaning in the doorway, completely relaxed in his worn leather riding jacket, a white t-shirt and worn jeans. 

“Hey you were supposed to wait downstairs!” Felicity scolded and his eyes moved over her once more.

“Your mom said you’d been stalling long enough and told me I should come fetch you,” Oliver stood up, slipping his hands into his jean pockets. He suddenly looked nervous as his eyes met hers. “Are you ready to go?”

“I am,” she answered reaching for the denim jacket she had laying on the end of her bed. She slipped her arms into it, pulling her ponytail free as she walked toward him. “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Oliver said as she approached him, she almost regretted not wearing heels. He towered over her without the added height. One of his hands came up and brushed an errant strand of hair away from her face. His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, and she felt heat swoop through her body. His eyes lingered on her lips for a moment before returning to hers. “I’d almost rather just stay here though.”

Oliver’s voice was low, barely above a whisper, she imagined he hadn’t meant to say that outloud. Or maybe he did, she wasn’t entirely sure, but he didn’t comment further so she just smiled. Pouting when his hand fell away from her face to reach down for her hand, his fingers naturally lacing between hers.

“We should go or we’ll be late,” he grinned and tugged her out of her room.

“For the record, I’m not a huge fan of surprises,” Felicity said as they made their way down the stairs. 

“Sometimes surprises can be fun Felicity, trust me okay?” Oliver grumbled at her with a playful smile on his lips.

“Okay, fine… Just know I’m still not sure that the motorcycle was the best idea,” Felicity replied as Quentin met them at the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, hey, I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

“Hey kiddo, of course I’m here, your mother has made it her mission to distract me from well…” his voice trailed off as the forced bravado started to slip. Felicity reached for him in a quick, hard hug. His breath left him in a rush.

“I know,” she said softly pulling away. “It's always great to see you. I hope Livi behaves for you guys. She napped kind of late.”

“She’ll be wonderful as always I’m sure. Have fun,” he turned to look at Oliver who held a bright pink helmet under his arm. “You be careful. Curfew is eleven sharp!”

Felicity laughed, and Oliver chuckled out a ‘yes sir’ before grabbing her hand once again to lead her out the front door.

“Don’t you even listen to him kids!” Donna shouted from the end of the hall and waved. “Have fun!”

They made their way to Oliver’s motorcycle where it was parked in the driveway. Felicity’s nerves began to show as she slowed to a stop. Oliver held the pink helmet out for her.

“I wasn’t sure what size you’d need so I took Thea along today to pick one out, this should fit you as you’re about the same size,” he helped her put it on, her ponytail slipping as he pushed the helmet into place, securing the buckle beneath her chin. “Good, looks perfect.”

“I probably look ridiculous,” she grumbled, not all that worried. 

“I disagree,” Oliver said with a shake of his head. “I think you look beautiful.”

Felicity fidgeted under his gaze and she looked toward the bike, her stomach twisted as her nerves spiked.

“Hey what’s wrong?” he asked as his hand moved to her shoulder.

“I’m a bit nervous,” she answered truthfully.

“Hmm… I may be able to help with that,” he said with a smile before he leaned in pressing a firm kiss to her lips. Felicity hummed and returned it, parting her lips on a breathy exhale and his tongue dipped between them. Her hands had a mind of their own as they gripped tightly to the front of his leather jacket. 

Oliver pulled back ending the kiss, too soon. Felicity whimpered at the loss, frowning at him. She lowered back down off her tiptoes. He smiled at her and stepped back from her a little more as she released his jacket.

“Well, you don’t seem so nervous now?” he said with a wink, as she blushed from her hairline to her toes. He stepped away and slipped his leg over the machine, he held his hand out to her. “Come on sweetie, I won’t let anything bad happen.”

Felicity took his outstretched arm and slipped behind him on the bike. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist as he turned the key. The bike rumbled to life beneath them and she clenched her legs tighter around him.

“Hold on tight now!” Oliver yelled over the roar of the engine and as impossible as it may have seemed she gripped him tighter, her whole body smashed against his back. She nodded, her helmet knocking against his back as he kicked the stand up and then they were moving.

Felicity had never ridden on a motorcycle before, it was a mix between all encompassing terror and a freedom that she’d never in her life felt before. The way the bike rumbled beneath them was altogether another animal, the low arousal from their shared kiss only grew. She had no idea what he had planned for the evening but she was sure that if it continued on the way it started she may melt before the night was over.

 


	16. Oliver

The busy bustle of Starling City began to fade behind them, as buildings were exchanged for trees and wide open highway. Finally, the road empty and wide open in front of them, Oliver was able to reach down and slide his hand over Felicity’s. He could feel her soft skin drawn tight over her knuckles where she gripped tightly at his shirt and stomach. He hoped that she wasn’t too frightened. She hadn’t screamed at him to stop so he was taking that as a good sign.

They were still twenty miles from the first stop on their evening out. He was nervous about what she would think, first was dinner then a special outing. He had tried to think of something that was out of the box, something he hadn’t done before with anyone else. 

Oliver had had no shortage of first dates, but none of those had truly mattered. They had always been a way into a bed. None of them were meant to be more than just a first date. This had to be the date that started a lifetime of dates. 

Thea had actually suggested it while they were at lunch and he’d confessed to not having a clue about what to do for their first date. She’d made fun of him for a moment before she realized how nervous he was. Thea had sobered and leaned in and gave him a few ideas. His baby sister giving him ideas on how to woo a girl. It seemed backward but he hoped it worked. 

One thing Oliver had always made sure to do was separate that part of his life from his family. He had purposely steered clear of the Queen mansion, or work, or any property they owned. Not wanting that part of his life to taint the other. The closest he'd come to mixing business with pleasure was Isabel. 

Felicity was different, she was it for him. So after Thea suggested their great grandfather’s cabin, he knew he had to do a picnic dinner near the bluff. After a couple calls it was all set up. It would be a relief to get away from Starling City.

After the week they had had it felt strange to be on his bike with her, heading out of town. Taking a few hours to themselves, to get some air. They deserved it, or at least that was what Thea, his mom, Donna, and the therapist had said. He wondered if he kept telling himself that if he could believe it.

Guilt had started to eat at him shortly after he had finalized his plans for the evening, when he’d started started to get excited about the date. It was this constant fixture in the back of his mind. It was guilt that they were leaving behind Livi in the care of Felicity’s mother again, when they were her legal guardians. Oliver tried to focus on it as little as possible. 

Felicity’s fingers twisted in his shirt as they took a turn, her body tightening around his. The way her legs pressed at his thighs, and her body leaned into his were a welcome distraction from where his mind had started to drift to. Tonight was about learning more about each other, celebrating finally being on the same page. He didn’t want to ruin it with a sour attitude.

He slowed for a long curve and caught sight of the pale skin of her knee along the outside of his jean clad thigh. Oliver’s heart raced as he realized just how much of her leg was visible, the skirt of her dress billowed out as they drove. He’d told her to wear something comfortable and now he was realizing how dangerous that was. 

Oliver remembered seeing her standing in her room at the house. Felicity had her arms raised, pulling her blonde hair into a ponytail, her back on full display. The back of the dress open to the middle of her back, leaving nothing to the imagination. Then she’d turned and he wanted to stay home instead of go out. He’d been distracted then, but this… His eyes wandered down again. Why couldn’t she have worn pants?

Oliver doubled his efforts to keep his eyes on the road as they left the highway and onto a dirt road. Ten minutes later they came to a clearing near the bluff overlooking Starling Bay. Oliver pulled to a stop, set the kickstand and killed the engine. Felicity still held tight to him, her hand flattening against his stomach. 

He removed his helmet and navigated getting off his bike without knocking her off or it over. Felicity’s hands never left him, as he turned to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, giving a gentle squeeze, and asked, “Are you okay?”

Felicity nodded, the biggest grin on her face. She lifted her hands to her helmet. Oliver helped unbuckle it so she could take it off. He took it from her and set it on the ground at their feet. He helped her off the bike and she wobbled on her feet, falling into his arms as he steadied her, her body leaning into his.

“Whoa,” she giggled and all Oliver could do was smile down at her, arms winding low around her back. “Who knew riding on a motorcycle could make you so weak in the knees.”

“Probably all the vibration,” Oliver answered, allowing his hands to play in the soft fabric of her dress. 

“So where is here?” Felicity asked her hands resting against his chest pushed against him so he’d release her to look around them. “I thought we were going out to eat.”

“We are,” Oliver said, stepping back, taking one of her hands to lead her toward a cropping of trees and closer to the bluff. Raisa had left him a message that she’d left the cooler and a blanket there in the shade of the tree.

“Um…” Felicity continued to look around them in awe, but followed him. “I don’t see a restaurant anywher- Wow Oliver!” 

They had cleared the small crop of trees and in front of them was the grand view of a mostly clear sky over the bay. The water reflecting the few lingering clouds. The sun slowly made it’s way toward the horizon starting to cast an orange and pink hue across the sky. Felicity squeezed his hand.

“This is beautiful Oliver! Where are we?” she asked breathlessly, eyes locked on the view in front of her.

“My family owns this land… well actually my mother’s family owns the land. It goes back several generations,” Oliver turned them back toward where they came from to point. “Back that way about three miles is a cabin. We used to come out here sometimes in the summer. Until I grew out of the novelty of the trip and Thea decided she didn’t care too much for not having internet.”

“Well no internet would probably be a deal breaker for me too,” Felicity said with a grin, turning with him as he lead her over to where he spotted a bit of red.

“Well there is cell coverage, but back then mom and dad wanted somewhere they could go to unplug and recharge. They wanted us to spend quality time together. This was that place,” Oliver said as he let go of Felicity's hand and moved toward the cooler. He pulled the blanket off the top and spread it out on the ground. “Have a seat.”

“So no restaurant then?” She asked as she stepped out of her shoes and sat cross legged on the blanket. 

“No, I called in a favor. Raisa made us a picnic dinner,” Oliver slid the cooler to the side of the blanket and knelt down on the blanket and popped open the cooler. He started pulling out several plastic containers setting them on the blanket between them. 

“That was nice of her,” Felicity commented as she picked up one and opened it. “This smells wonderful!” She picked out a piece of pesto covered pasta and popped it in her mouth. 

“I have silverware,” Oliver said with a chuckle handing her a fork before settling down cross legged beside her. 

“Oh thanks,” she took it and helped herself to a couple more pieces. 

Oliver watched smiling and the small noises of appreciation she made. He picked up an identical container and popped the lid. It was full of grilled vegetables tossed in some kind of vinaigrette. 

“This is really sweet Oliver, I was kind of expecting a quiet quaint little restaurant.”

“I figured I had done that route a million times, besides Thea mentioned the cabin and I remembered this spot and thought it would be a nice backdrop to our picnic,” Oliver confessed. 

“Well I love it,” Felicity smiled and leaned over to press a quick soft kiss to his cheek. Oliver grinned as she went back to the containers finding one with some chicken and shrimp. “So Queen, what's your favorite color?”

“Are you starting a game of twenty questions?” Oliver asked around a bite of bell pepper. 

“I guess,” she tilted her head, studying him. “I had the thought today that I should know more about the little things that make up the man I'm madly in love with.”

Oliver's heart raced as her words settled over him. She was madly in love with him. He realized that she was right too. Sure they knew a lot of things, like how she took her coffee, that she was fiercely protective of her work, Livi and her mom. She laughed when she was nervous or babbled about silly things. 

But things like her favorite color, favorite movie, hell her favorite memories from growing up. Oliver smiled and thought about the question she'd just asked. “Pink,” he answered and Felicity's eyebrow puckered. 

“Pink?” She sounded skeptical. Oliver nodded taking a bite of the pasta. “Uh well I wasn't expecting that.”

“I'll explain, but first what is your favorite color?” He asked after swallowing. 

Felicity looked thoughtful then blushed as she looked back up to him. “Blue, my favorite color is blue.”

“Huh, I would have thought pink,” Oliver grinned. 

“So why pink?” She asked popping a shrimp in her mouth. 

“For the longest time it's been green,” he eyed her dress. Maybe he still liked green, especially when she wore it. “But the first dress I'd seen you in, outside of business attire and that one from the failed first date, was this soft pink thing. You looked gorgeous in it, we shared our first dance in that dress, I loved the way it had fanned out when you moved,” he smiled remembering. Oliver had twirled her out and she giggled, the first time he’d actually gotten that kind of response from her. It was the first time he’d started to really look at her as more than bitchy and judgemental. “Now, everytime I see pink, I think of you.”

Felicity's eyes fluttered and she bit her lip, her skin flushing. “Really? That was...”

“The dance lessons before the wedding,” Oliver supplied in answer. Felicity nodded.

“You can’t possibly remember that dress, there was nothing special about it at all and…” she shook her head in disbelief. “Well... that was forever ago!”

“I remember everything,” Oliver said, it was the truth. He could remember almost everything from the moment he’d met her. Some he would give anything for them to have never gone through. But it got them to this point so he just chalked it all up to steps they needed to take.

“Okay… well then,” Felicity said with a shake of her head and a light chuckle. “Favorite candy?” 

“Reese cups,” he answered easily.

This went on for several minutes while they finished their meal. A back and forth of information he’d never thought to ask about before. Her favorite candy was twizzlers, favorite movie was My Girl; even though it made her cry every time. They both favored hockey as a sport, he looked forward to October when he could take her and Livi to a game. She built her first computer when she was seven, got in trouble for hacking the school records when she was ten. 

They seemed to both have a knack for mischief. They shared and laughed over their own personal embarrassments. He found himself lost many times just watching her smiles and the way her hands moved while she answered his questions. 

He chewed thoughtfully on the last bite of pasta, he stretched his legs out and leaned back on his hands as he watched her put the lids back on the containers. “What's your favorite childhood memory?”

Felicity chewed her bottom lip as she settled back close to him, one of her knees pressed against his thigh. He was mesmerized by the way she licked over her lip after she released it from her teeth. He felt like as nice as it was to bring her here, them being alone may not have been the best idea. He shifted where he sat, his jeans suddenly too tight for comfort, and averted his gaze to the rapidly setting sun, waiting for her answer. 

“I was nine, and my mother had to go out of town for some training,” Felicity played with the end of her skirt, her smile lifting her lips was soft and her eyes turned misty. “I got to go stay with the Lances, it was so much fun. Not that my mom wasn’t fun, I love my mom.”

“I understand,” he said sitting back up to reach for her hand.

Felicity laced her fingers through his. “I don’t have any real memories of my father, he’d left when I was three. So when I got to stay with them, for the first time I got to see what it would be like to have sisters. To have a dad. Quentin taught me how to fly a kite, and Laurel and I had pillow fights and we chased Sara around the house. It was the best time ever.”

Felicity’s voice trailed off at the end, a tear dripped from her lower eyelash as she turned away, using her other hand to quickly brush it away. He knew how fresh the pain had to be. Oliver had lost Tommy, but for Felicity she'd not only lost her best friend, she had lost two sisters. 

“Hey,” he squeezed her fingers trying to get her to look back at him. Her teary eyes met his and he offered her a warm supportive smile. 

“It’s okay… I’m okay,” Felicity blew out a slow breath and gave his hand a squeeze back. She forced a small smile onto her lips. “When my mom came back, we had a really fun dinner at the table in their dining room. Laurel and I helped Quentin make dinner and it was almost like we were a real family. Of course we had other dinners like that while growing up. But I’ve never forgotten that.”

“Sounds really nice, we used to have similar dinners. They weren't as fun though. Often either dad or mom would be gone. It was really nice having everyone around the table earlier this week,” Oliver said as he let Felicity pull her hand from his she went back to stacking the containers near the cooler. “That reminds me I keep meaning to ask but have you noticed anything going on between your mom and Quentin?”

Felicity's hands stilled as she turned back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Well I noticed the other night how closely and well they worked together in the kitchen,” he started to explain and Felicity chuckled. 

“Oh that's nothing new they've always worked well side by side. I wouldn't expect that to change,” she waved her hand around like she could bat away what he was really trying to imply. 

“That's not what I meant,” he said and she stilled once more, turning to look at him. “They looked like-”

“A couple?” Felicity said so softly he almost didn't hear her. Oliver nodded and she let out a stuttered sigh. “I mean I’ve thought about it. Hell Laurel and I used to imagine them married and us being actual sisters. But Oliver, I think you’re seeing something that isn’t really there. They’re just really close friends.”

Denial. Oliver was well acquainted with that. “Maybe, but… would it be so bad?”

“No,” Felicity admitted, eyeing him. “But I still don’t think its anything.”

“Okay,” Oliver said with a chuckle. Felicity knelt over the cooler and moving to put the containers back into it. A squeal left her and she reached deeper into the cooler, pulling out a lime green box. “Oh I forgot about those!”

“Cupcakes from my favorite bakery!!” Felicity beamed and sat back down next to him and popped open the box. “Oh my gosh, the key lime! How did you know?”

“I said your name and the lady behind the counter, Sue, just kind of nodded and packed the box.”

Felicity pulled out a cupcake and handed the box to him, letting Oliver pull his own out. He watched as she took a bite, moaning around the confection and took his own. It was exactly like eating a key lime pie, only cakey and somehow it melted in his mouth. He licked the frosting off his lip and smiled as Felicity shoved the rest of the cupcake in her mouth.

“Oh my god,” she moaned around the cake and Oliver laughed. She swallowed. “You have no idea.”

“It does taste good,” Oliver said as he finished his own, chewing as Felicity rolled her eyes. 

“Good is not the right adjective at all! I can’t believe you only got two!” she slapped his thigh and he swallowed.

“I kind of thought we could go for a walk downtown, i wanted to take you to my favorite ice cream place,” Oliver offered with a shrug. “Didn’t figure you’d want too much sugar before that.”

“Hmm,” she leaned in, shifting closer to him. “Ice cream does sound good.” She leaned in closer, eyes focused on his mouth, Oliver shifted, allowing a little more distance between them.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, swallowing hard as her tongue darted out over her lip.

“You have something,” Felicity pointed at the corner of his mouth. He stuck his tongue out where he thought she was pointing, her eyes locked on his tongue and she shook her head. “Here I’ll get it.”

Before he could move to wipe it away on his own Felicity’s lips were on his, pulling his bottom lip between hers. She groaned so softly as her tongue moved over his skin. Need flared through his chest and he held her faces, titling her head to deepen the kiss. A groan left him as she shifted, moving to straddle his thighs.

Oliver sat up straight, Felicity wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her fingers moving into his hair as she opened her mouth to him. Their tongues slid along each other and he groaned deep into her mouth as she rocked against him. His next breath choked off in his throat, he thrust his hips up against her without thinking. His hands moving down to wrap around her. She moaned into his mouth and it pulled at him.

It would be so easy to let his hands wander down, to slip under the skirt of her dress and follow where things would lead. They were alone and the endless possibilities ran through his mind. But he also wanted to do this right, how many times had a first date ended with him tumbling into a car, a bed, or any other viable surface. But he wanted more from Felicity than just a quick meeting out in the open. 

Oliver pulled his lips slowly from hers, trying to slow the kiss even as her wandering hands moved low over his stomach reaching for his belt. “Felicity,” he panted against her lips, moving a hand down to stop hers. His heart beating against his ribcage as he tried to calm his body.

“Hmm,” she hummed back, kissing him again trying to draw him back into the moment. He gave in for a moment, allowing her to pull on his lip, he kissed her back. He once again pulled his lips from hers, moving away as she followed him. Felicity whimpered, opening her eyes to pin him with an annoyed little glare. “Where are you going?”

“We can’t do that here Felicity,” he whispered, she pouted at him. It took great restraint not to pull her puffy pouted lip back between his own. Instead he moved a hand back up to brush against her cheek, his thumb running along her lip. Oliver sighed and smiled as she huffed at him.

“Why the hell not!” She asked sitting back onto his thighs. She looked every bit put out and he felt a little bad, but not enough to give in.

“Because our first time together isn’t going to be in a hurry out in the open. I don’t want that for us,” Oliver said softly and honestly. She studied him, her frown slowly melted away into a soft smile.

“God you’re such a sap! I didn’t know that until you chose pink as your favorite color,” she sighted deep and shook her head. “Okay, fine not here… but so you know,” she leaned back in enough to press a quick kiss to his lips before lifting off his lap. “I wouldn’t have complained.”

Oliver chuckled and shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face before moving to stand up. “Are you ready for that ice cream?”

The sun had almost set and it was time they headed back to town. He held his hand out to her and she took it, he pulled her up to her feet, holding her close. Running his nose along hers before pressing a brief kiss to her lips. 

“Sure, I’m feeling a bit hot so ice cream would be amazing,” Felicity said with a wicked mischievous smirk. 

Oliver’s stomach gave a small lurch as he realized she may not make the drive back an easy one.

 

\---O---

 

They had quickly picked up the picnic, packing it away back into the cooler and stashing it back near the tree. Oliver would come for it tomorrow, there was no rush. The drive back into the city had been every bit as uncomfortable as Oliver had imagined it would be. Felicity’s felt more sure on the bike and let one hand wander. Always moving but never to where he would have loved, where his body needed.

By the time they’d reached the ice cream parlor he was ready to find somewhere private to haul her into. Oliver helped her remove her helmet and pulled her in for a hard kiss. He loved the way she gasped in surprise before her fingers tightened in his leather jacket and pressed the full length of her body against his.

“You’re going to kill me,” Felicity groaned breathlessly as she pulled away, straightening his jacket.

“Well that was a nasty little thing you did while we drove here,” he mumbled as he lead the way to get them some ice cream. “I was very distracted.”

“Hmm… like you don’t distract me all the time. Months of you in your suits, and those damnable shirts you end up rolling up to your elbows. Why even wear a long sleep shirt if you’re just gonna roll it up?” She huffed following him, their fingers laced together.

“Because it’s appropriate work attire?” Oliver answered, holding the door open for her. 

“Well someone should really think about changing that, because on you it makes for a lot of inappropriate thoughts,” Felicity said with a shrug, her cheeks flushed over as they stepped into the line behind another couple. “Not that I had inappropriate thoughts while we worked together…. well not all the time, but definitely…”

“Felicity,” Oliver said with a laugh, she stopped pressing her lips together. “I’m really gonna have to remember this for later.”

“Of you know you could forget it. Yeah let’s go with that, what could I do to make you forget?” Felicity said tugging on his hand and pressing her body against his. Oliver swallowed thickly when he realized his arm was pinned between them, between her breasts. He struggled to push that image out of his head, choosing to look at the ice cream choices in front of him instead. “Come on tell me?”

“How about we get some ice cream instead, it’s our turn,” he directed her to the counter. 

Felicity sighed and turned away from him, allowing him to take a full breath, trying to control the urge to drag her straight home instead. He wasn’t all that interested in ice cream at the moment, and he was quickly losing sight of why he wanted to take things slowly.

Felicity chose a mint ice cream and had them mix brownie bits into it, and some additional mint candies. How she could do that after they’d just had key lime cupcakes he wasn’t sure. He chose a vanilla, had them fold in some fresh raspberries and some bitter chocolate chips. Felicity had the spoon upside down in her mouth as she eyed him. 

“What?” he asked as he paid the attendant and picked up his own cup of ice cream. 

“I didn’t peg you for the fresh fruit type,” Felicity said as she pulled her spoon from her mouth.

“I guess it’s good we’re having this date then huh,” he winked and led them back out of the store to walk as they ate.

“Sure,” she said as they made their way down the block. 

“What did you think I would choose?” he asked suddenly wondering what her mind had pictured instead.

“Hmm, something with chocolate and caramel, maybe the coffee ice cream?” she offered with a shrug. “Maybe something with nuts.”

“Well you’re allergic to nuts so that wouldn’t be wise and I like my coffee hot so as an ice cream that wouldn’t work,” he said taking another bite of his ice cream, he’d taken three steps before he realized that Felicity wasn't at his side. He turned and found her standing frozen on the sidewalk, staring at him. “Felicity? Are you okay?”

“How’d…. how did you know about my allergy?” she asked as he made his way back toward her.

“Well one night when we were having thai for dinner at the Merlyn's, it was before you’d arrived. I overheard Laurel stress to the person on the phone that nothing in the order could have peanuts, or nuts of any kind. That her friend was deathly allergic. I pay attention, figured it was you she was talking about,” Oliver answered, remembering wondering that night how someone navigated life with a severe allergy like that. 

Felicity fidgeted with her spoon. Her eyes were blinking rapidly and she wouldn't look his way. She kept pushing her ice cream around in her cup as her chin dipped downward he caught sight of a tear slipping down over her cheek. 

“Oh jeez… I’m sorry,” Oliver moved to her and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Are you okay?”

“I’m….” she shook her head and wiped at her face. “God you’d think I’d stop crying at the drop of the hat. I’m sorry if I’m ruining your perfect date.”

“You aren’t,” Oliver reassured her, squeezing her side and turning her so she could press her face into his chest. “It’s still the perfect date. What made you cry?”

“So you know. I’m not deathly allergic but I can see why Laurel would say that. She was always so afraid I’d have another reaction in front of her,” Felicity pulled away and started walking again. Wiping at her face with her free hand. 

Oliver followed easily keeping pace with her. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Gosh that was forever ago,” Felicity chuckled, waving her free hand. “Um, we were seven maybe, and mom had picked up this boxed cake mix and we were helping her make it. We didn’t know that they had used a peanut flour in the mix, mom was always so careful reading all labels. Man she was mad as hell afterward. Anyway once the flour was airborne I started sneezing, then because I’d inhaled it my lungs almost instantly started to close off. The reaction was the fastest I'd ever had. I ended up swelling up and turning blue. Laurel was beside herself crying and my mom just left us for a moment to go get my epipen. Laurel told me to swear to never die on her.”

“Wow,” Oliver stared at her unsure what to say. He couldn't imagine going through that, or even witnessing it happen. 

“Yeah it was pretty bad. Mom used my epipen and once I was breathing she’d called my pediatrician and hauled me off to be checked out,” Felicity turned to look at him. “In case you ever need to use one on me, there is one in my purse, the front of Livi’s diaper bag, one in the bathroom medicine cabinet and one in the kitchen cabinet beside the fridge.”

Oliver stared at her. If it wasn't deadly why did she have an epipen stashed everywhere. “I thought you said it wasn’t deadly…”

“I’m more sensitive to the oil and the dust. The dust has a way of getting into the lungs faster. The reaction those times is usually more profound,” Felicity sighed. “It can be scary.”

“Good to know, thanks for sharing that with me,” he said offering her a smile.

“Well thanks for paying attention. You probably would have been fine getting nuts in your ice cream,” she shrugged.

Oliver leaned close to her ear, “But then I wouldn’t be able to kiss you anymore tonight.”

Felicity’s skin turned a shade darker in the lamplight above them as she blushed. She pulled her lip in between her teeth and nudged him away with her shoulder. “I thought you were wanting to take things slower.”

“I am…. that doesn’t include kissing,” he pressed a small kiss to her lips and hummed when she darted her tongue out to lick over his bottom lip as he pulled back. 

They fell into a comfortable silence as they both finished their ice cream, each offering the other bites. They slowly made their way back to his motorcycle, the evening starting to get late. He almost didn’t want to go back to the house. It had been nice to only think about them for a while.

Felicity tossed her empty container in a trash can near the motorcycle and Oliver did the same. She reached over and took her helmet and placed it on her head, buckling it. Oliver did the same.

“You ready to go back?” he asked, unable to keep the reluctant tone out of his voice.

“Not really but it is getting late,” she said with a shrug, fiddling with the ends of her jacket’s sleeves. 

“True,” Oliver started to throw his leg over his bike when she stopped to him, her hand on his bicep. “Yeah?” he turned to look at her, she looked even more nervous, her lip white with how hard she was nibbling at it. “What’s up?”

“Can I… I mean I would understand if you didn’t want to… oh never mind,” she stopped and moved to climb on behind him. He held his hand out to stop her.

“Did you want to drive it?” Oliver asked, smiling at the way she froze. 

With all the begging it took to get her agree to go on the motorcycle he hadn't expected this. He had gone so far as to promise to change all of Livi’s dirty diapers, if he was home, for the next two months before she finally gave in. But if she wanted to drive it, he wasn't going to deny her. Heat poured down his spine and along his nerve endings just imagining her handling all that power on her own, well mostly. He wasn't going to let her do it alone the first time. 

“No… I kind of thought… but it’s really big and I don't… no… I couldn’t-”

“You could,” Oliver said firmly stopping her ramble. He didn't like hearing Felicity doubting herself.

“Really?” Felicity asked, her eyes lighting up. “You think so?”

“Felicity, I am pretty sure there isn't anything that you couldn't do if you put your mind to it,” he watched as her eyes sparkled and her smile widened further. “So yes, I think you can. Especially if I help you!” 

Felicity gave one of her cute little fist pumps as she bounced with excitement. Oliver chuckled and slid back on the seat to give her access in front of him. He held his hand out once more and helped her straddle the bike in front of him.

“Okay so how do we do this?” she asked, her voice starting to show a bit of her nervousness.

“First we’re going to turn the key and get her started,” Oliver reached around her turning the key. 

He heard Felicity squeak in front of him, and felt her jump a little as the motorcycle rumbled to life beneath them. He was distracted for a moment by the way she had pressed back against him, the curve of her backside between his thighs. Oliver breathed a deep breath closing his eyes for a moment to refocus. He took both her hands and placed them on the handlebars.

“This one is the throttle,” he yelled over the rumble of the engine as he gave it a twist. The machine howled and Felicity nodded. “We’ll need that one to go forward. This one,” he tightened his grip around hers, “this is the brake. You’ll want to let it up on it slowly at the same time you press through with the throttle. I’ll control the rest okay?” Felicity nodded. “Just a second.”

Oliver balanced them on the bike and kicked up the kick stand. It wobbled and Felicity adjusted suddenly, her hand tightening on the throttle and releasing the brake at just the right combination that the bike jolted forward pulling them along with it for a few feet. So startled, Felicity grabbed the throttle, the bike shot forward faster, knocking them both off the back. Oliver grabbed Felicity just in time as the bike shot forward and fell over in the street.

“Oh shit!” Oliver said as they tumbled to the ground, pain shot through his arm where it connected with the concrete. The sound of metal scrapping against the road made him cringe. 

“Oh my god, Oliver, I’m so sorry!” Felicity scrambled to stand up along with him. 

Once they were both on their feet he took a step toward his bike a car rounded the corner too fast, losing traction and sliding, and smashed into his motorcycle. Felicity screamed and Oliver watched in stunned horror as both motorcycle and car moved a good ten feet before coming to a stop. Felicity grabbed Oliver’s arm and he just stared at the sight before him.

“I… oh no,” Felicity stumbled over her words as the driver stumbled from his car and approached them. Oliver’s brain was putting the pieces together. If they hadn’t been knocked off...

“Is this your bike?” The driver was yelling angrily, advancing on them. “Do you have any idea how expensssive my car isss?!?!? Look at that!! You sssstupid bitch! You’re going to pay for thiss!”

Oliver snapped out of his haze, the slurring of the man’s words making it obvious he was drunk. He wanted to cry at the loss of his baby, but the man that came at them was an even bigger threat.

“Hey! Calm down!” Oliver stepped forward, pushing Felicity behind him. The man visibly shrunk as Oliver pulled himself up to his full height taking several steps toward the him. “You better watch your tongue. Go back to your car and wait!” 

“I… but,” the man deflated stumbling back, too drunk to stand upright. 

Satisfied that the man wasn’t going to come near Felicity, Oliver turned back to check on her. She was shaking, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. “Are you okay?”

“Your bike… the car and … out of nowhere. Oliver… I’m so sorry, that was…. it was a bad idea,” she said, visibly shaken, tears running down her cheeks. “I’ll pay for whatever it costs to fix it I promise.”

Oliver sighed and pulled her in for a hug. He put her at arm’s length and checked her over. He didn’t find any bumps, at least nothing that was readily apparent. He was thankful they’d gotten thrown off. It could have ended much worse than just his bike being totaled. 

“You’re okay though?” he asked her again hoping to hear it from her own voice. Felicity finally nodded.

“Yes, I’m fine, but your bike-”

Oliver squeezed her arms gently and shook his head, stopping her. “It doesn’t matter.”

“But-”

“No Felicity, trust me, it doesn’t matter.” Oliver pulled her in and hugged her tightly once more. Breathing in her all too familiar smell of vanilla and freesia.

Oliver pushed the images of what could have happened from his mind and kissed her cheek. He needed to focus now on dealing with the red tape of the incident. They’d need to get the police involved because the man was clearly drunk, and they needed a ride home. 

“Why don’t you call your mom, let her know what happened, but that we are okay,” Oliver rubbed her arms before letting go. “Maybe her or Quentin could come out and pick us up.”

“Okay… yeah sure,” Felicity nodded fumbling in her inside jacket pocket for her phone.

Oliver gathered himself, taking a deep breath and headed over to talk to the man who was bending down to look at where his motorcycle was mashed under it. Oliver cringed realizing just how badly it looked, as he got closer to the wreck. He would be surprised if both vehicles weren’t a complete write off.

What a horrible way to end an otherwise perfect night.

 

\---O---

 

They sat somber in the back seat of the car, Quentin driving. He’d come out immediately to check on them, and give them a ride home. He helped them field questions with another police officer who took down the incident report and a pair of tow trucks came to remove the wreckage. 

It was well after midnight before they’d climbed into the car to head home, their light mood from earlier completely wrecked. Felicity was quiet as she stared at the window, their fingers the only thing touching. Oliver had laced them together when they got into the car and refused to let her go. He knew that Felicity was embarrassed and thought he was upset with her. But he wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered again. 

Oliver sighed and squeezed her fingers again, for the hundredth time since they’d started the trek back home. He had loved that bike but he loved her more. It really opened his eyes to one of the reasons she’d been so reluctant to go on the motorcycle to begin with.

“It’s okay Felicity, please look at me,” he tugged her arm, waiting until she turned to face him. “This wasn’t your fault. I think it’s time for me to stop riding it anyways.”

“But you love that thing!” she said, her voice heavy with unshed tears. He hated to know that she was so upset over it, just because she thought he valued it so highly.

“Sure I loved it, when it was just me, but tonight really made me realize how much of a risk it is to ride it,” Oliver said firmly. “If we hadn’t gotten knocked off that car would have hit us.”

“I don’t-”

“No Felicity, he would have. We would have been right in his path. You saved our lives,” Oliver said in a rush, as the weight of what happened slammed into his chest. “Never again. It’s not worth the risk.”

“Okay,” Felicity breathed and leaned her head on his shoulder. 

Oliver’s eyes met Quentin’s in the rearview and the older man gave a nod, before returning his gaze out the front window. The rest of the drive was spent in silence as Oliver tried hard not to dwell on just how close they came to something horrible happening. 

 

\---O----

 

“I’m so glad you both are okay,” Donna said as she hugged Felicity close. Quentin stood leaning against the doorjamb as he waited. “I can’t believe that other driver. Stupid people think they are God’s gift, that they can drink and it not matter.”

“We’re okay mom, let it go,” Felicity said as she stepped back. Oliver automatically slipping his hand low across her back and curling around her side. “Try to go and get some rest.”

“You too, baby girl. I don’t know....” Donna trailed off, her eyes slipping to Oliver. “Thank you Oliver.”

“It’s nothing. Thank you for taking care of Livi for us so we could get out for a little bit,” Oliver said smiling as he remembered the better parts of the evening.

“Oh she was just the cutest thing, really she was. She’s been asleep for about an hour, it was harder to get her down tonight. I think she missed you guys,” Donna explained as she stepped back, Quentin stood upright and pushed the door open. “I guess we’ll go. Try to get some rest.”

“We will,” Felicity said as Quentin and Donna waved back at them, heading out the door.

They both sighed and Oliver stepped forward to lock the door. He turned and watched as Felicity flipped off the lights to the living area and turned to lean against the banister. She was stalling going upstairs. He’d already seen that Donna had closed up the rest of the downstairs, so it was just a matter of heading to their own rooms.

“I guess I should go to bed,” her fingers tapped against the shiny surface of the banister as she stepped onto the bottom step. “Um… thank you for tonight Oliver. It was one hell of a first date!”

Oliver closed the distance, sliding his hand over hers. He heard her sigh and shift closer to him. He reached up and cradled her face with his other hand, loving the soft feel of her skin against the skin of his palm. Felicity’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into his hand.

The image of his motorcycle popped into his mind, along with the searing pain of thinking they could have been on it. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She leaned into it willingly and looped her other arm around his shoulders, her fingers moving into his hair.

Oliver groaned when she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, both arms winding around her to pull her close. Their kiss changed, growing more urgent as she sucked his tongue into her mouth and Oliver lifted her off the bottom step. Felicity’s legs wrapped around his waist and he started to stumble and feel his way down the hall.

Felicity pulled back on the ends of his hair, breaking their kiss as they both panted. Oliver pressed kisses along her jaw and let his hands grasp her backside and pull her tighter against him. He pressed her into the wall and she threw her head back allowing him to kiss along her neck.

“Oliver,” she moaned softly, fingernails digging into the skin at the base of his skull, making electricity zip along his nerve endings. God he wanted her so bad. He rocked against her, drawing the most beautiful whimper from her. “If you stop Oliver.. so help me… I swear... ”

He pressed his lips to hers again, coaxing her mouth open so he could suck at her tongue before slowly drawing away. Oliver kissed the corner of her mouth, along her jaw until he found the soft skin below her ear. Felicity panted against him as her hands tugged at his hair and clothes. 

“I don’t plan on stopping,” he gripped her tight against him and continued the trek to his room, kicking the door open.

Felicity giggled as he dropped her on his bed, she bounced, her skirt pooling at the top of her thighs, giving him just the barest peek at a pair of black lace panties. He tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head and dropping it on the floor.

“Not to complain but what changed your mind?” She watched him step closer, her eyes fully dilated, lips puffy and red from their kisses.

“Thinking I could have lost you,” he whispered as he leaned over her, grasping her behind her knees and tugged her to the end of the bed. She gasped as he sunk to his knees between her knees. “I love you Felicity, I can’t-”

“Oliver,” Felicity breathed, a teary tone that he quickly kissed away. 

They could discuss it tomorrow. Right now he just need to feel her, reaffirm she was real and show her exactly how much he loved her.


	17. Felicity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: So sorry for the delay. Real life struck again. Good news... I've mapped out the rest of the story. I know how it's going to end. Woot... Only a few more chapters. - Enjoy! - Crissa

Something was dragging Felicity from sleep, a little tickle at the back of her neck. She fought against it, not wanting to wake up from her lovely little warm cocoon. Nope, she wasn’t ready. She squirmed away from the tickle, snuggling into the firm warm pillow beneath her head. 

A soft tug of the skin beneath her ear, drawing a groan from deep in her chest as it sent a shiver down her spine. She shifted back against the hard warm mass behind her, a rumbling groan was all the answer she needed to finally open her eyes. 

Felicity tightened her fingers in Oliver’s where they were laced together on her hip as she shifted again, with more purpose, marveling at the way his breath caught. The smug smile slipped from her lips into a groan as he thrust hips against her backside, his breath in her ear as his stubbled chin prickled against her skin, making her squirm.  

“What time is it?” she asked, her voice deeper than normal heavy with sleep and fresh arousal. Oliver moved their hands up along her side dragging her hand with his as his fingertips skimmed over her rib cage. Goosebumps rose in their wake, sending a shiver through her body. A needy whimper left her as she arched into his hand, her back flush against him.

“Early,” he answered, his voice deep, heavy with need. The searching hand moved lower, over her stomach and across her navel. His teeth tugged on her earlobe eliciting a deep groan as the ache in her body grew. 

Felicity turned her head in search of his lips. The kiss was messy and awkward due to their position. She gasped against his lips as his wandering hand dipped lower beyond her navel, pressing their joined fingers where she desperately wanted them. 

“Felicity,” he breathed into her mouth when she pressed his fingers against her harder.

“Oliver,” his name a needy whine on her own lips as his hand abandoned hers to grasp her thigh and pull it up over his own. His fingers tight on her skin as he rocked against her, shifting them just right, so that the next movement caused the air to get stuck in her throat. He was so close to where she needed him most.

Crackling of the baby monitor startled them both, as they froze. A moment later the whimpered sounds of Livi fussing came through. Oliver groaned into her shoulder as his fingers flexed on her thigh. Felicity closed her own eyes, frustrated as she blew out a long slow breath.

“Maybe she’ll go back to sleep,” she whispered, hopefully optimistic. It was dashed as they could hear shuffling then the cries were louder, more insistent and clear. Livi had stood up in her crib, the exact opposite of going back to sleep. “ _ Mama...Mamama... _ ” came clear across and into the room around them. 

“I’m going to go with not likely,” Oliver grumbled, shifting her leg back off of his, sliding his hand lovingly up over her hip to pull her in for a quick hug kissing the soft tender spot between her jaw and ear. “I’ll go.”

“I can if you’d like,” Felicity said, turning with him as he rolled away from her, disappointed at the interruption and the loss of his glorious heat. She willed her body to calm down but it was a near impossible task as she watched his naked form move to pull on a pair of cotton sleep pants. She unabashedly admired the play of his muscles as he moved back to the bed. He leaned over her. She smiled up at him.

“Stay here, it’s early still, try to go back to sleep. I’ve got her,” he pressed a soft lingering kiss to her lips before leaving the room he turned to wink at her. “Who knows, maybe she’ll go back to sleep.”

Felicity chuckled and flopped onto her back to stare at the ceiling. One could hope. She thought, before she closed her eyes and made another attempt at calming her racing heart. Slowly the arousal from before ebbed away now that he wasn’t in the room with her, her heart rate returning to normal as she tried to will herself back to sleep.

She listened as Oliver entered Livi’s room. Picking her up out of the crib as her cries quieted considerably. Felicity smiled as she heard the creak of the rocking chair, and his soft humming as he tried to comfort her. He whispered that she was okay, that she was safe.

After listening to them over the monitor for a few minutes Felicity decided she was too awake to go back to sleep, so she slipped from Oliver’s bed. She had to go to the bathroom anyways. She tugged his discarded t-shirt on as she moved into his bathroom. A bubble of happiness at the events the night had taken, making her smile.

Felicity relieved herself, and pulled her hair back into a messy knot, at the base of her skull. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and paused, a rather dark mark caught her attention where the shirt had slipped off her shoulder. She flushed over from head to toe as the memory of Oliver pulling her skin between his teeth flitted through her mind. 

It had sent her over the edge into a blinding orgasm, she remembered the way her body had throbbed as he sucked. Even now the memory tugged at something deep inside her and she braced herself against the counter and closed her eyes. She couldn’t imagine how intense things would be if they’d waited several more weeks. Already she wanted more.

Felicity had loved their date. She hadn’t expected him to plan something so simple yet so emotionally impactful. Her heart had stuttered in her chest when he told her that he’d never brought anyone to his family’s land. She hadn’t realized how much something like that would mean to her.

Every new thing she learned about him delighted her, and she found it so easy to share with him. Felicity never imagined the two of them could have so much in common. Which when she thought about it now it actually made sense. They were the same creature. Strong willed, family oriented, and determined; some she already knew about, and others she was watching grow before her very eyes. There were a million other little things that made Oliver into this wonderful package. She found herself falling even farther for him.

She sighed and reached for his toothpaste, spreading a small amount on her finger and going about brushing her teeth with her finger. She giggled at herself. How lazy did one have to be? She could have easily gone up stairs to her own bathroom. She watched herself in the mirror, of course then she’d have to leave their little bubble. 

There was something oddly comforting about doing this here in his bathroom. It reminded her that last night had been real. Something she didn’t think would happen for a little while longer.

Felicity had expected to have to tease him until he broke and gave in. She figured after the way he had stopped their fun while they were alone that she would have to work even harder for it. But all it had taken was a mistake with his motorcycle.    
She frowned at herself in the mirror before spitting out the toothpaste. She watched as the water swirled down the drain, closing her eyes as the image of the motorcycle pinned beneath the car came to her mind. She shook it from her mind quickly and rinsed her mouth out. His words from earlier haunting her.

Oliver thought he could have lost her. 

It had only been an accident. He had gone along with her idea, tried to let her drive, and it ended badly. Then that drunk driver had come around the corner and smashed into Oliver’s bike making it all worse. For as bad as the accident looked to Oliver it had been more than just a simple accident.

Felicity had felt bad about causing damage to his bike, it was more than likely totalled. But Oliver had taken it much harder than her, and not in the way she had expected at all. He saw the worst case scenario, one that had her or both of them dying pinned beneath the car. She couldn’t wrap her head around that.

She hadn’t even managed to get a scrape, which in itself was a miracle considering she’d had nothing to cover her legs as they fell to the ground. Now that she thought about it though, she could see it. They’d just lost their friends, so of course the accident triggered a worst case scenario to play in his mind. 

Felicity did agree with Oliver over one thing though. It was too much of a risk, one that just the day earlier she’d been spouting off about before she learned how fun it was to ride on the motorcycle. How quickly things can change. One or both of them could have been hurt, and where would that have left little Livi? What about her mother? Oliver’s family? It was not a risk either of them should be taking, at least not right now.

Nope, no more unnecessary risks.

Felicity however would not be complaining about the sudden leap in their relationship. If she was honest with herself, she’d wanted Oliver a lot longer than she had been in love with him. So she would be the last person to end what just started. Especially now that she had a taste of things to come.

“What are you smirking at?” Felicity jumped and squeaked as she turned to look at Oliver. He was leaning in the doorway to his bathroom with a very awake Livi on one hip. She had two fingers shoved in between her lips as she smiled. 

“Um…” Felicity’s eyes shifted to Oliver’s very naked torso and the way his sleep pants hung so low on his hips.  _ Lord help me. _ She drew her eyes up his body slowly, finally locking with his. He tilted his head and she realized she’d stopped talking. She swallowed and leaned back against the counter. “I was just … um I wasn’t smirking. Do you think she could be teething? I mean it’s possible right? It could explain why she’s… you know up. Right now… so early.” 

“Right…” Oliver said, his eyes shifting over her, she saw the heat flair in them as he took in her dressed in his shirt. “Just randomly she’s teething?”

“Babies do that… they randomly teeth,” she swallowed around the needy little ball of want in her throat and stepped toward Oliver, her hands outstretched for Livi.  _ Time to get out of this bathroom. _ “I’ll just take her and make her a snack, maybe give her some of those neat little teething tablets my mom brought over. Maybe you could... um… shower… then later maybe I can.”

Oliver leaned Livi away from Felicity before she could take her, his expression one of disbelief. Felicity fidgeted in her spot, rubbing her legs together, wishing they could be back in the bed doing what they had been doing before. He let Livi lean toward her and Felicity took her from him.

“So we are clear I don’t think that was what had you smirking,” Oliver said as he leaned in close to her. His hand came up, he ran his thumb over the bruise that was bared to him by the shirt slipping again. Felicity felt her breathing hitch as he ran his nose across her cheek. His breath on her skin made her close her eyes. “I wish we hadn’t been interrupted. Especially now, you look sexy as hell in my t-shirt.”

Oliver ran his lips, and stubble across her jaw, as his fingers dipped up under the edge of the shirt. His fingers on the outside of her leg spread fire along the sensitive skin of her thighs, she felt like her heart would pound out of her chest. Suddenly, he pulled away, and she opened her eyes to see him heading for his shower stall. 

Felicity stood stock still gaping at him until Livi thrust her wet fingers into her open mouth. She groaned pulling Livi’s hand away and grumbled a ‘see you later’ in Oliver’s direction. She turned away the moment he dropped his pants. Oliver’s soft chuckles followed her as she headed out of the bathroom and through the bedroom.  She was frustrated but couldn’t help but smile.

“Come on Munchie, let’s see if you’re hungry,” she said heading for the kitchen. Leaving that silly infuriating man to shower. 

 

\----F----

 

Felicity filled the time while they waited for Oliver to be done showering with making breakfast. Livi entertained her by toddling around the kitchen, opening cabinet doors and peeking around them. Everytime Felicity said ‘Boo’ Livi would sit down in a fit of giggles. 

At least the little one was in a good mood for being up so early. Six am on a Saturday wasn't something Felicity saw very often, but she had to admit it wasn't all bad. Not when you got to start it with a lovely little ray of sunshine. She could get used to this. 

Livi screaming in delight had her looking up from buttering a slice of toast in time to see Oliver tickling the little girl in his arms. Felicity smiled at the pair. 

“Have a nice shower?” she asked, setting the slice of toast on one of the three plates in front of her. They were piled with scrambled eggs, sausage and some fresh peaches her mother must have bought the day before.

“Not as enjoyable as it could have been?” Oliver winked at her, making her blush as thoughts of joining him for a shower popped into her head. He moved across the room, putting Livi into her highchair. “It smells amazing in here. I could have made breakfast.”

“Well, I hadn’t planned to make it but I started slicing up a peach for Livi and decided that since we were all up we might as well eat,” Felicity said, handing him Livi’s plate to put on her tray. “Besides, I do like cooking sometimes. I can be domestic.”

Oliver stopped her from moving away, grabbing her hand and pulled her in for a kiss. It was brief, yet a thrill ran down her spine and she found herself leaning into him. Felicity hummed against his lips and he pulled away, letting go of her hand. He moved to the island and sat down, pulling one of the plates over to him. 

Her mind short circuited as she thought of how normal that was. They’d had one date and one night together and already they were stealing brief kisses. As if it were something they did naturally every day.

“You okay?” Oliver asked, pulling Felicity back to the present with a jerk. She watched as he took a bite of egg, studying her. He looked down at his plate. “Was this one yours?”

“What? oh…” she shook her head. “You can have that plate, and yeah um... I’m fine… totally good. Here Livi,” Felicity answered turning to hand Livi a fork and her water cup before pulling her plate in front of her, taking the seat next to Oliver. She could feel his eyes on her and she fidgeted with her own fork, pushing her eggs around on her plate. “Actually… I just… you know when you kissed me just now?”

“Yes…” he watched her. “Was that not okay?”

“Oh no… it was great. Um… I liked it,” Felicity started, staring at his mouth as he chewed, heat flared across her skin as she got distracted. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and he cleared his throat.

“Felicity, I’d think that is a good thing?”

“Oh it is. I thought maybe…” she stared at him. “It’s not too fast for you? I mean it seemed really comfortable and very normal and something that maybe a couple would do?”

“Felicity,” Oliver sighed, putting his fork down on his plate and turned to face her. He grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “Can I be honest with you?” Felicity nodded. If she learned anything about this last week, it was that they did better as a team, when they were honest and communicated how they felt. So she definitely wanted his honesty. “I am so tired. Bone ass tired of worrying about what you or others may think about us getting together. None of that stuff matters. This is our life right?”

“Yes I just… our friends just died,” Felicity argued weakly. 

“All the more reason for us to embrace this life correct?” Oliver asked, squeezing her fingers, her eyes dropped to where he held her left hand, his fingers running over hers. “Don't you think we've wasted enough time? Don't you want to be with me?”

“Yes,” Felicity nearly shouted as he’d started to drop her hand. She grabbed it and pulled it closer. “I want you, Oliver.”

Oliver leaned in and kissed her again, pulling back to smile a smile she was quickly recognizing as hers, “Then let’s go with the flow okay?”

“Okay,” Felicity smiled and watched as Oliver tucked back into his breakfast. She started eating her own as she looked between Oliver and Livi and let the new normal settle in. She could totally go with the flow.

 

\----F----

 

“Oh gosh Oliver, right now?” Felicity grumbled as she threw a load of laundry in the washing machine. It was late, Livi already in bed and as much as she would have liked to be in bed too there was at least five more loads of laundry lined up ready to go. Oliver was folding a stack of towels, just getting in from work and he was telling her that he needed to go out of town in a few days. Irritation licked at the edges of her frayed nerves. “You couldn’t tell your dad that you needed more time? It’s only been a month since we lost them and we are only just starting to get things into a normal routine.”

“I did Felicity, trust me he knows that we are still just getting out bearings. But this is something that he needs me to help with. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t absolutely need to, you know that right?” Oliver said reaching to still her hand. Felicity bit her lip, to keep it from trembling. She liked to think she was a strong person, but the idea of being alone with all this responsibility for the first time was scary. 

“My mom left four days ago and look how much laundry there already is,” Felicity waved her hand over the piles. “Don’t even get me started on the living room. Who’s going to clean the kitchen when you aren’t here?” she asked him, desperation starting to leach into her tone. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to clean, but with a full time job and a toddler it was best to split the load. Oliver had taken on doing the kitchen duties, and Felicity had tried to maintain the rest. Laundry was something they’d decided they would tackle together. All of this was still so new and they were just starting to get comfortable in their new roles. So far they were a good team, but he was leaving and she wouldn’t have her mother as a fall back plan.

“Central City is so far away,” she whined.

“We could hire someone to come clean,” Oliver offered and Felicity glared at him. “Or not, but I think it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea. It would take off some of the weight from your shoulders, especially while I’m gone. But I promise I’ll come home as soon as possible,” Oliver promised, his fingers lacing with hers before tugging her close. “It should only take a couple days, just some boring business that didn’t get cleared up before they started filling the building. You’ll be able to do this.”

Felicity frowned. “Why do I have a hard time believing that?”

“Because this is the first time you’ll have to do all this by yourself. But you’re strong and amazing. Felicity, you own and run your own company. You can do this! I believe it,” his free hand moved to caress her cheek. Felicity closed her eyes and breathed him in. She loved that he had so much faith in her, misguided as it was. “I’m going to miss you too ya know.”

She opened her eyes at his admission, to see him grinning at her. She shook her head, pushed at his chest. “That’s not what has me worried.”

“Sure it is,” he leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead, dragging his chin down her nose, his soft stubble rasping across her skin. She giggled and tried to move away.

“Oliver,” she breathed as he tightened his grip on her, pushing her against the folding table in the laundry room. His nose brushed along hers, lips a breath away from hers.

“Well, I know I’m going to miss you,” Oliver whispered, his hand dropping away from her face, it came to rest at her hip, running along the top of her skirt, slipping under her blouse. 

Felicity braced herself against his chest rubbing her hands over his fine linen shirt, loving the feel of the warmth that always radiated off of him. She would definitely miss having him close. For more than just the reasons that he helped out with Livi. 

“Fine…” she leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his chin. “I admit it, I’ll miss you.”

“See that wasn’t so hard,” Oliver chuckled, leaning forward making a move to try to kiss her.

Felicity leaned away, biting her lip. She knew if they started kissing they would never get any of the laundry done. Laundry was only the tip of the iceberg too, they should be tackling the rest of it too. Oliver pulled her closer in response edging in closer. His fingers danced along her spine under her shirt, upward making her press closer to his chest. 

“The laundry…” she breathed in way of protest, her eyes already locked on Oliver’s lips.

“It’ll still be here when we’re done,” he grumbled before pressing his lips against hers. Felicity was too tired to argue with him and if he was going to be gone. They may as well take advantage of the moment.

“Screw it,” she mumbled letting him lift her onto the table, she giggled against his lips as he breathed out an ‘exactly’ before kissing her again. The towels he’d just folded falling to the floor.

 

\---F---

 

“Jill, I need that list of microchip developers again, I misplaced it somewhere at the house and I have no clue where it went now. Also, I need to free up my lunch today, because my mom is back and she wanted to meet for coffee,” Felicity rattled off as she breezed past her assistant in a mad dash for her private office.

The last two weeks had been a whirlwind of appointments, trying to keep the house from falling into ruin, trying to keep her company afloat and doing it all on her own. Honestly, she was barely managing to get either her and Livi to the places they needed to be each day. So when her mom had called her the day before to say she was flying back in the morning she’d been overjoyed. That was until she’d gotten home last night.

It had been a long night, one that was spent with Livi in the playpen or stroller as she dragged her from room to room to clean. She didn’t want her mother thinking that she couldn’t handle managing a house on her own. She refused to think about Oliver. What was supposed to be a quick in and out thing that should have only taken a couple days, had turned into trouble with the person they’d hired to take his place. It turned out his resume had been forged and it led an immediate termination and Oliver needing to find a replacement before he could come home. Nope she wouldn’t think about that because it would send her on a spiral. She was doing good today. Her mother was coming home.

“Um Miss Smoak?” Curtis, one of her trusted employees’ voice drew her attention away from her computer. His hesitance didn’t sit right with her.

“Yes?”

“First, here is that list you asked Jill for,” he said as he entered her office, holding out a piece of paper. 

“Thank you,” she took it from him and immediately started to study it. There were at least ten developers they’d need to do research on. She was spearheading a secure mobile data vault that a business person could take with them while traveling. They wouldn’t need wifi to access it, just connection to a satellite. She was already distracted with the list that she hadn’t realized Curtis was still standing there until he cleared his throat making her jump. “Oh, Curtis… you needed something?”

“Um… well yes, I have the mock up for the vault. I wanted to show you what it looked like so we could get the specs together for how we want the chip to look like,” he held the device out to her, but before she could take it he drew it back toward himself. “But if right now isn’t a good time I can always come back.”

“Why wouldn’t now be a good time?” she asked, reaching again for the piece of tech in his hand. He let go of it and she watched his eyes pass over her. Felicity looked down and her heart seized in her chest. “Oh my gosh.”

“Yeah, I’m guessing you didn’t mean to wear heart printed sleep pants to work,” Curtis offered unhelpfully.

“I can’t…” Felicity didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t believe that this had happened. Hell the day care center lady didn’t even bat an eye at her. “But I was sure…” She’d even came past Jill, why hadn’t she said anything. “Wow, that’s a first.”

“I’d say. Look Felicity, if I may be so candid, perhaps you should take today,” Curtis said softly. He rarely called her by her first name, even after she’d insisted on more than one occasion. For him to do it now it really drove home the fact that he was just trying to be friendly.

“I took so much time off before, after the… I’m sure I have something in my closet,” she stood up and headed toward the closet in her adjoining bathroom. Curtis stopped her from making it that far.

“Everything is fine here. It won’t hurt to take today. Trust me,” he said, a soft understanding smile on his lips. “I know how hard it can be when your other half is gone, and you’re still learning how to be a parent.”

Felicity stared at him. She’d forgotten all about the fact that he and his husband had just adopted a little boy last year. She vaguely remembered the disheveled way he would come to work sometimes. Or when she would find him hunched over his work station in the lab asleep on accident. 

Felicity hadn’t expected to find a kindred spirit in Curtis, but there he was. She gave him a small smile. Maybe it would be a good idea, to head home, take a shower.

“Livi is at the daycare right?” Curtis added, his eyebrow ticking up. Maybe she’d said some of that before outloud.

“Yes, um… maybe it would be a good idea huh?” Felicity said biting her lip.

“Might as well take advantage of her being in daycare, go home, catch a nap maybe? A shower? Every parent needs a little time to themselves. I know you haven’t done that once since your mother went home to Vegas and since Oliver headed for Central. We can hold down the fort here,” Curtis said with a nod before taking the tech back from her. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow.” 

With that he headed out of her office, telling Jill on his way that she would be leaving and to forward any calls and problems to him. Felicity felt her heart swell and tears sprung to her eyes. She hadn’t realized what a great support system she was ignoring, trying to carry all the torches by herself.

Felicity gathered her bag and powered down her computer. She shuffled toward her door and peeked out at Jill. She sat at her desk humming along while she sorted through a stack of papers. Felicity moved out into the lobby and pulled her door closed.

“Jill, I’m just going to head home for the day. I forgot that-”   
“Not to worry Miss Smoak, Mr Holt has already informed me you’d be leaving. I hope you have a great rest of your day,” Jill smiled at her before going back to her stack of papers.

“Um… thank you.”

“Nothing to it,” Jill answered brightly not even looking up. “We’ve all been there.” 

Felicity left her office, her heart lighter than when she’d rushed through less than an hour before. She hoped with her mother’s visit that maybe things could even out for a while. She looked forward to her coffee date, but before that she was already coveting that bath waiting for her at home.

 

\--F---

 

Felicity spent the time at home wisely. She took a long bath, soaking until she was well past pruned and the water had chilled. Then she folded laundry while calling to check up on Oliver. 

It was official. He wouldn't be home for another three weeks. They were interviewing two executives that afternoon then they'd make their final decision over the next couple of days. He'd oversee for a few weeks then come home.

He had apologized profusely and asked her to video call with Livi that evening. The sadness she heard in his voice made her own heart hurt. She couldn't be even a little angry with him. Work was work, she knew he didn't have a choice. She did miss him though. 

After her call she'd gotten dressed and headed to the coffee shop down the street from Quentin’s apartment. She had been shocked to already see her mother sitting at a table. Two steaming cups of coffee already in front of her. 

“I hope you don't mind, I ordered your usual!” Donna said cheerfully standing to hug Felicity before she sat down across from her. 

“Thank you mom! That’s perfect,” Felicity commented as she reached for her cup of coffee, taking a sip. It was of course perfect. “I'm so glad you're back. We missed you!”  

“Oh baby girl, I missed you too, and Livi. It's a bummer it's a work day, I hadn’t thought of that when I asked for coffee midday, I thought you’d have her with you,” her mother’s smile dipped. It made Felicity happy to see how much her mother loved Livi. “Is it okay if I pick her up from daycare later?”

“I'm not actually working today, maybe both of us could go pick her up,” Felicity offered, smiling at her mother's little squeak of happiness. 

“Wonderful! I look forward to getting my hands on that little one. So…” her mother sat back, eyes moving over her. “How has it been?!” her mother asked, her eyebrow quirking up as she studied her. Felicity resisted the urge to squirm. “Why aren't you working today?”

“Well for one because you are in town and I just couldn’t contain my excitement,” Felicity said with a cheeky smile, she giggled at the way her mother rolled her eyes. “Two… I went to work in my pj’s this morning,” Felicity finished quickly as she took a sip of hot coffee. 

Donna snorted and sat back in her chair. “I'm sure everyone enjoyed that.”

“Well at least it was a flannel pair and not something a little more racey,” Felicity said offhandedly, feeling her cheeks burn as she thought of the green lace negligee she had bought a week ago when she thought Oliver was coming home. She shook the thought from her head and returned her gaze to her mother. “Anyway… what brought you back to Starling so soon? I thought you had things to deal with. Is everything okay with Quentin? I've been a little busy and admittedly only checked in once a week.”

“Quentin is fine. Actually, I had some... um… news... maybe,” her mother shifted nervously before collecting herself. Donna ran her finger around the top of her coffee mug before adding, “I'm thinking about moving back here to Starling City.” 

“Oh mom! That would be wonderful!!” Felicity excitedly replied setting her own mug back down on the table. 

“You think so?” Her mother's head tilted, examining her.

Felicity nodded happily. She didn't want to admit it but the entire time her mom was gone back to Vegas, she’d dreamed of having her move closer. She silently hoped that she would make the decision on her own, that maybe Livi would be one of the things that would bring her mom back to Starling City. Admittedly having both Oliver and her mother gone had opened to her eyes, she was barely treading water.

“Of course I think so!” Felicity reached and touched her mother's hand on the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. A thought came to her instantly, she had to make a decision soon on her town house. She was either going to need to sell it or rent it out. Who better to take it over than her own mother?! “Actually, when are you thinking of moving?”

“Soon. That was the main reason I had to go back to Vegas. I wanted to be sure that things would continue to go well if I left it to someone else,” Donna said as she sat back tapping her fingers against the cafe table. So her mother had been thinking about moving before she went back to Vegas in the first place.

“Oh I hadn't thought of that. So you wouldn't sell?” She hadn’t even thought about what her mother would do with the bed and breakfast though. Felicity knew how much hard work her mother had put into fixing the old house and retrofitting it into the beautiful little business it had become.

“Oh heavens no. I built that bed and breakfast up from nothing. I want to keep it, just manage it from afar. I trust Camilla to do her job, she's actually excited to be able to move into the apartment.”

“Well that works out perfect then,” Felicity grinned happily. Since her townhouse was sitting empty, her mother could move in tomorrow if she wanted. All she had to do now was offer it up. “This will work out great for all of us. My townhouse is sitting empty and it’s near all of us so you can move in as soon as you want. Then I won't have to sell or rent it out.”

“Actually,” Donna looked away, shifting in her seat until she was fully erect. “Thank you for the wonderful offer baby girl, but I'm not going to need to do that.”

“Hm?” Felicity asked watching as her mother's eyes nervously studied her face. “Why not? It would only make sense. You wouldn't have to look for a place then.”

“Um, well because…,” her mother paused taking a breath, her eyes finally meeting hers. “Quentin asked me to move in with him, and I accepted.”

Felicity stared at her mother. Quentin had asked her to move in with him? Why would he do that? She knew they were friends but… Oliver’s comment ages ago about them looking like a couple came to her. She felt like she was having an out of body experience. Analyzing every memory she had of the pair together.

“How long has that been going on?” Felicity said before she could catch herself. It came out stunted and unemotional. Her mother’s head tilted, and the smile slipped from her face as she leveled Felicity with a stern look.

“Excuse me,” Donna bit off in her mama tone that had Felicity flinching away.

“I’m sorry,” Felicity backpedalled quickly. She hadn’t meant for it to come out as snarky as it had. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“It sounded very judgemental darling,” Donna said looking away from her, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I know I know… I just… wow mom,” Felicity breathed, where was Laurel when she needed her… oh right. “You and Quentin?”

Donna cleared her throat and uncrossed her arms. “I thought you had to have seen it. But… it’s been a long time coming.”

Felicity nodded. How many times had Laurel and her dreamed of their parents falling in love. She looked at her mother and could recall the wistful way her eyes would light up at the mere mention of Quentin. How had they all missed it? Well Oliver hadn’t.

“Since their accident?” Felicity asked softly. Somehow she had a feeling it wasn’t just since the accident. But something told her it was the catalyst.

“No,” Donna sighed, running a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face before settling her gaze back on her daughter, a sad smile tugged at her lips. “Honestly, I’ve been in love with him since you were eight. I think he fell in love with me that day he met us in the park. But we were so afraid of what could happen to all of you if it didn’t work out. So we kept our distance, and when you graduated it became harder to deny we had feelings for each other so…”

“You moved to Vegas.” Felicity finished for her. She had always wondered the real reason behind her mother leaving Starling City. At the time Donna had said that the house was too empty without Felicity living there. Now it all made sense.

Felicity understood her mother’s push in regards to her and Oliver even more now. Quentin and her had sacrificed so much for her, Laurel and Sara. They really hadn’t needed to worry about that.

“I wish I had known,” Felicity spoke, reaching to take her mother’s hand in her own. 

“We didn’t want you girls to ever doubt our love for you. Though, with everything that has happened, we realize now that we shouldn’t have worried. We have wasted so much time.”

“I’m happy for you mom,” Felicity stated truthfully. “I agree you wasted a lot of time. You two shouldn’t have worried so much about what we would have thought. Laurel and I always dreamed that you guys would be together.”

Donna chuckled, rubbing away tears that had started to tip off the end of her eyelashes. “Well thank you for that baby girl.”

“Laurel and Sara would be so excited,” Felicity said, voice caught somewhere in her throat making it evident that her own tears weren’t far behind.

“So you’re okay with this?” Donna asked, “My moving in with Quentin?”

“Yes of course, though… you two are more than welcome to move into the townhouse! It’s fully paid for,” Felicity offered releasing her mother’s hand to brush at a few errant tears. 

“I’ll talk to Quentin. His place is a tad on the small side with only the one bedroom,” Donna answered looking away. “Anyways, are you ready to go get that doll baby?”

“Whenever you’re ready!” Felicity said happily, she couldn’t wait to pick up Livi and spend the day with her and her mother. She even looked forward to the video chat with Oliver later, she couldn’t wait to tell him he was right. She knew he would never let her forget it, but it was too exciting not to share and celebrate.

 

\---F---

 

The days that followed her mother’s announcement had been easier. It took a huge weight off Felicity’s shoulders. She’d have her mother close by, and even better Quentin would be less of a worry with her mother living with him. They had taken up her offer to move into the townhouse. It was slightly closer than his apartment and it offered two bedrooms, one that they made up into a room for Livi for when she spent the night.

Donna had gone back to Vegas, Quentin in tow, to pack up the rest of her necessary belongings to have shipped up to Starling City. Felicity looked forward to their return in the next week. Things were slowly starting to come together. 

Life was getting easier. Even Oliver would be back earlier than expected. He had one more long week in Central City.

Felicity had decided that she didn’t want him to come home to find the house in the same state it was in. They had just been living in it the same way that Laurel and Tommy had had it set up. As she sat in the living room one evening, looking at the artwork that Laurel had picked out Felicity suddenly felt the need to make a few changes.

She had started small. Felicity had a few pictures of her, Oliver and Livi blown up and framed. They now took up the spaces where old abstract paintings had hung. They made her smile every time she walked into the living room. She worked on framing other snap shots and putting them up around the house. Slowly but surely it was starting to feel less like a mausoleum to their best friends.

She still felt like there was more that could be done. One place in particular nagged at the back of her skull. Every time she walked past the shut tight door of Laurel and Tommy’s room she felt a pang in the pit of her stomach. She would give herself a pep talk, like her therapist had suggested, reminding herself that one day it would need to be gone through. She’d always chicken out and head for some other part of the house. 

Until the day before Oliver was due to come home. Her mother took Livi for the weekend, wanting to give them time alone, and Felicity a night to prepare. Little did her mother know that leaving her alone would give her too much time to think. 

Felicity had tried. She really did. She opened a bottle of wine and took a long bubble bath, once done she moved on to painting her fingers and toes to match the green lace that she’d hoped to wear the next day. She started on a second bottle of wine while searching through her closet for something to wear the next day, trying to settle her thoughts. 

Try as she might she couldn’t get the room out of her mind. So by two a.m. she found herself standing outside the closed door of her best friend’s room. The bottle of wine dangling in one hand, having ditched the glass somewhere in her closet.

“This is ridiculous. Suck it up buttercup. She wouldn’t want you to wallow any longer! It’s been almost two months!” Felicity said out loud, taking a sip from the bottle of wine, before reaching to open the door. 

It was time to man up. She turned the knob and gave the door a shove.

She gasped, as the door swung open wide; she was hit with the familiar smell of Laurel’s favorite perfume. With it came a wave of longing so hard it had Felicity stumbling forward into the room.  The door slamming against the wall behind her.


	18. Oliver

Oliver stared out the window as they started their descent into Starling City. He’d never been more grateful for his family’s wealth than he was at that moment. Having a private jet was certainly handy, without it he would have been stuck in Central City until later in the afternoon. Instead, just thirty minutes sat between him and a town car heading home. 

Getting home was all he could think about for the last two days. Well honestly the whole three and a half weeks he’d been gone he’d wanted to be back home. But knowing he was definitely going home had made him distracted. After rattling on to his dad in the office on Thursday about how Livi was running all over the house now, that how before he left she’d still been unsure and still touching things while she walked. That evening his father took pity on him and called down the corporate jet. 

He couldn’t get home soon enough. Three and a half weeks away was too long. He’d missed his girls. Oliver smiled thinking of them in that way. He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly he’d started labeling them as such but it felt natural. 

Of course he wouldn’t be going home to both of them. Donna and Quentin had taken Livi for the weekend to let them have a kid free weekend. Oliver would be forever grateful for their generosity. As much as he wanted to see both of them, he definitely wanted to see Felicity more. The alone time would be amazing. 

Oliver wasn’t sure if Felicity was camera shy or if she was just trying to avoid him seeing how his being away was affecting her. Livi was always the focus of the calls with Felicity behind the camera. He knew she was up late most nights, Livi sometimes still had terrible bouts of anxiety at night. Though they weren’t lasting as long, Felicity still sounded exhausted.

He couldn’t help the guilt that weighed on him. But it had been beyond either of their control. Oliver looked forward to the next several hours where they could just be by themselves. Reconnect before they went to pick up Livi. 

Arriving so early in the morning he hoped that Felicity would still be in bed. Since she hadn't returned any of his texts he figured she must have been asleep. He was already imagining how wonderful it would be to slip between the sheets with her as the plane landed. Oliver bid his father a good weekend as they made their way to their separate hired towncars.

The drive to the house wasn't too long but he'd dozed off. The idea of bed and sleep more enticing by the moment. As the town at pulled up in front of the house he noticed a light on upstairs. Those particular windows hadn't been lit up in all the times he’d ever come home. He got out of the car, staring puzzled at the house as the driver pulled his suitcase from the back. 

“Have a nice weekend Mr. Queen,” the driver said as he set the suitcase on the driveway next to him. 

“Thank you,” Oliver replied, taking the garment bag that held his suits from the driver and turned back toward the house. 

Oliver started toward the house, after the town car backed away, worried about why those lights would be on. He pulled his keys from his pocket and entered the house. A quick glance around has him smiling. New pictures hung on the walls near the door, mostly they were of Livi. He definitely approved of that. It was hard not to smile when you walk in and have a huge toothy grin of Livi looking at you.

“Felicity?” Oliver called as he set his suitcase down, draping the garment bag over it and tossing his keys into the little dish on the table off to the side from the door. He was met with silence so kicked his shoes off and started up the stairs.

Oliver felt a lead weight settle into his gut as he got to the top step. Light spilled into the hallway through the one door that they’d decided they weren’t ready to open just months ago. The idea of going into that room, Tommy and Laurel’s room, made his footfalls slow. He felt like he was walking through mud that grabbed at his feet as he moved forward. They hadn’t talked about when they would open that door, but he had thought they would do it together, when it was time.

He peered around the door jam unsure of what to expect. Oliver gawked at the sight before him. Felicity sat cross legged on the floor, in the midst of several boxes. All of them open with various papers and photographs littered around her on the floor. She wore only a bra and a pair of his boxer briefs, her hair in a messy knot on top of her head, little tendrils falling around her face. She held a stack of photographs in her hand.

“Felicity?” he asked tentatively. Felicity’s head came up on a gasp, her blue eyes locking on his. His stomach dropped at the puffy red look of her eyes, and the red angry color of her bottom lip, her habit of biting it making it raw. He made a half step into the room as she popped up off the floor.

“Oliver!” Felicity cried as she launched herself at him. 

Oliver caught her as she pressed her face into his neck, his arms banding around her. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. She felt so warm and it was almost easy to ignore the fact that they were standing in their dead friends’ bedroom. He felt her start to pull away. He didn’t let her go far, keeping his arms together around her back. Her hands spread wide over his chest as she looked up at him.

“You’re home early,” she sniffled, a bright smile on her lips even if the rest of her face gave away how sad she’d been just moments before. He lifted a hand to her face and ran his thumb over her lip, she flinched. A frown tugged at his lips as guilt flooded through him.

“I am…” Oliver said softly. He gazed at her, thumb at the corner of her lip, rubbing along her skin as she sighed at his touch. His eyes shifted away from her to look once more around the room. “What are you doing in here?”

Besides the boxes and things littering the floor the bed had been stripped down to the bare mattress. All the bedding tossed into the corner of the room. There were a half dozen piles of clothes on top of it, he assumed they were from the closet as the doors were thrown wide, light on and hangers all over the floor.

“Um…” Felicity turned to look back into the room. He allowed her to turn in his arm, his hand falling across her stomach as she leaned back into him. “Well…that’s kind of a long story.”

“Are you okay?” He asked, wondering what had pushed her into doing this. An empty wine bottle on the nightstand worried him. He tightened his hold on her, she took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

Felicity pulled out of his arm at that and tiptoed back over to where she dropped the stack of photos. She stumbled a little when she bent over to pick it up, along with a stack of photos. Oliver reached out toward her as she walked back toward him.

“I have been trying to make the house more ours. Since well… we live here now. The therapist thought that we should make it ours. Unless we want to sell but I told her that I really didn’t want to sell, I hope you don’t want to sell either because… well this is Livi’s home and I feel we owe it to them to raise her here. Of course… that’s when I kind of thought of how we either sleep in your room or my room and while that’s okay for now,” she paused and Oliver stared unblinking at her as she rambled. She pushed a box out of the way with her foot and stopped in front of him. “Well someday it would be nice to make the big room our room and well that wasn’t going to happen if their stuff is here. I just couldn’t make myself come in here. But then I had some wine and soaked in the tub and got to thinking how stupid it is to be afraid of a room ya know?”

Oliver watched as her eyebrow hiked up, her expression serious. She handed him the photographs. He looked down, they were ones he hadn’t seen before. The first was of two young girls in bathing suits, both brunettes stood side by side with bright smiles on their faces. He recognized one as Laurel. The other took him a moment, the face familiar, just younger. Suddenly he knew it was Felicity, the little girls smile gave her away. He smiled lifting his eyes from the photo to eye her.

“You’re a brunette?” Oliver inquired with a smirk. Felicity grinned and nodded. 

“I dye it obviously,” Felicity’s hand came up to her head, loose tendrils moving through her fingers before she stopped. Her eyes slid back down to his hand as she pointed at the pictures. “Gosh I didn’t know she had so much stuff from our childhood,” Felicity said drawing his attention back to the stack of photos he held in his hand. She ran her fingers over Laurel in the picture before she pulled it out from under his thumbs to reveal the next. A squeal left her as she giggled. The two girls stood in dresses, a suited Quentin standing between them, all had bright smiles. “Oh my gosh. That’s the father daughter dance. We were eight. They came over and made me go with them.” 

All of a sudden Felicity burst into tears and took the picture from him and slid to the floor, holding it to her chest. His heart broke at the sight. Oliver couldn’t imagine how many times she must have done this same thing over the course of the night. Just standing in this room made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest.

“Felicity, maybe you should take a break from all of this,” he said crouching down in front of her. His hand came up to her jaw, thumb rubbing a tear off of her soft skin. Her wet eyes met his, the blue dark behind the tears she’d yet to shed.

“It’s okay,” she sniffled, blinking quickly as the tears dropped onto her cheeks. She reached up and rubbed against her face with the back of her hand and smiled at him. He was amazed to see that it actually reached her eyes. “I promise Oliver, I’m okay. This is … it’s oddly freeing.”

Oliver was glad she thought so, but for him it was borderline torture. Just looking around made his stomach roll and his chest constrict painfully at all the memories their friends left behind. He wasn’t sure he was ready for all of this. He understood what she was saying about them bouncing from one room to the other. 

One of the things he wanted to talk about this weekend now that he was back was if it was okay to move his things upstairs. Living between two rooms was inconvenient. They were officially together now so being in the same room was the next step.

Eventually he knew they would want the bigger room, but he hadn’t given much thought to what they’d have to do to accomplish that. Suddenly faced with the reality of it, he found himself on a different page than her. Felicity seemed ready to put this behind them and he just wasn’t ready.

Oliver sat down on the floor next to her as she shuffled quietly through the rest of the photos. He worked hard to ignore the room and just focus on her. Each new image would draw a smile or sigh as she ran her fingers over the images. Weeks of not seeing her really made him realize how beautiful she was. Even if she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, and the sadness of her task, she looked a peace. A soft smile lifted the edges of her lips before she caught her bottom one between her teeth.

“Oh… hey look at this one,” Felicity handed a photo to him, he took it and turned it to look at it. It was taken from a weird angle, in the foreground was Felicity rolling her eyes as Tommy kissed Laurel in the background. They appeared to be in a hall of some sort.

Oliver recognized the event, it had been taken during the couple’s engagement party. The first opportunity he had to actually meet Laurel’s best friend and he'd spent the evening entertaining a very busty redhead in a closet. He felt himself flush at the memory as shame and regret washed over him. His heart gave a painful squeeze at seeing the love and happiness in his friends. The loss felt too great in that moment and he stood up. The pain worsened as he caught sight of a photo of Tommy on his knees kissing Laurel’s bare pregnant belly, on the top of the dresser. He turned abruptly and headed out of the room.

“Oliver?” Felicity questioned from behind him, he heard her shuffle.

He didn’t answer, didn’t wait for her. He needed to be away from that room and all the memories inside of it. 

Oliver had come home with the hope of crawling into bed and sleeping the day away with Felicity curled into his side. It was supposed to be time to reconnect as a couple. He wasn’t prepared to deal with the remnants of his best friend’s life. A life taken too soon.

“Oliver, wait…”

Felicity’s bare feet slapped on the wood floor behind him as he reached the top of the stairs, starting down them. He made it down the first three before her grabbing his shoulder made him stop. Oliver turned to see her face full of worry.

“Where are you going?” She asked, her fingers rubbing where she’d just squeezed.

“I can’t do this right now Felicity, I’m going to bed,” Oliver choked out over the knot in his throat. He reached up and laced his fingers through hers and tugged her forward. “Please come with me.”

“But the room…” she turned slightly looking back toward the open door. Oliver tugged on her hand and she turned back. Her eyes lighting on his, her head tilted as she studied him.

“Please?” Oliver breathed imploring her with his eyes for her to understand, pulling her closer.

“I think we should…” he frowned and she paused, reaching forward to rub her fingers along his stubbled jaw. He closed his eyes and leaned into her warmth. He needed so much more than just her soft touch.

“I’m just so tired,” Oliver admitted before opening his eyes, meeting her gaze. A sad knowing look settled onto her face. “It’ll still be there later.”

“You’re right…. okay,” She relented. Oliver breathed out a sigh of relief, turning his face to kiss her palm. “But Oliver, we really do have to deal with that eventually.”

“I know,” he murmured into her wrist as he placed a kiss there, she stepped closer, a soft gasp leaving her. Need slowly building in his chest. Oliver needed to feel her, have her in his arms. It had been too long and he needed a distraction from the can of worms she’d opened upstairs. “Felicity, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Felicity whispered, her hand shifting from his jaw, around to the back of his neck. 

Oliver closed his eyes as her fingernails scratched against his skin, sending a zip of electricity down his spine. Oliver groaned, Felicity let him pull her towards him as he wrapped his other arm around her waist, letting his fingers dip under the waistband of his underwear, pushing against the base of her spine.

“I thought you were tired,” Felicity groaned softly as he tugged her body against his, kissing her shoulder, he rubbed his nose along her skin to her neck. Her breathing faltered as she tipped her head granting him more access. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder as he breathed her in. She smelled of lavender and something soft. All the things he’d missed. “Oliver…” she moaned softly, biting her lip as her arm tightened around him, pressing her body flush against his.

“I’ve decided,” he breathed kissing along her jaw, making his way toward her lips. “I want you more than sleep,” he whispered the last against her lips and she surged forward, closing the last bit of distance. Their lips moving together as he backed down the stairs.

 

\---O---

 

Hours later they’d woke up on the living room floor, having never made it to his room. He opened his eyes to Felicity smiling at him as she traced her fingers over his spine. 

“Hi,” she whispered and he smiled at her. 

“What time is it?” Oliver turned onto his side, shifting closer to her. Rug burns nagged at his knees but he couldn’t care less. 

Felicity tilted her head to look beyond him. “Ten,” she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. They shared a soft lazy kiss. Felicity’s stomach rumbled and she giggled pulling back.

“I do believe it’s time for breakfast.”

“Sounds like it,” Oliver said on a chuckle as he pulled them both up to sit. “I have to use the bathroom anyways.” 

Oliver returned from the bathroom to find Felicity humming in the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee filled the air as she popped bread into the toaster. She turned smiling at him as she pulled herself up onto a stool. She crossed her bare legs at the knee, the henley he wore home draped across her frame. The sleeves, too long, were pushed up to her elbows. He thought she was painfully beautiful, and returned her smile as he walked up to her.

“Hey handsome,” Felicity greeted him cheerily. So close to her he looked her over. Her eyes were bright, the dark circles under her eyes had lessened and the only red he saw was from where his stubble had rubbed against her jaw and neck. Oliver loved that he could do that, bring out so much happiness in her. 

“Hello honey,” he leaned in and kissed her, unable to resist the smile on her lips. He pulled back, as she hummed in response, to grab a coffee mug.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” she commented after a soft sigh, watching him as she sipped from her own coffee. “Livi is going to be so happy to see you.”

“I’m glad to be home too. I’m looking forward to picking her up tomorrow,” Oliver admitted easily as he poured coffee into his cup. His eyes met hers as she slowly set her coffee cup back down onto the countertop, she pulled her lip between her lip.

Oliver could feel the nervous energy coming off of her in waves. He knew it was going to be about the room. Felicity was a picker. One of the few things that actually annoyed him about her was her ability to pick at and obsess about things. She worried things to death if given the chance.

“Come on out with it Felicity,” Oliver said with a sigh as he leaned against the counter, taking a sip of the strong black coffee. He would have rathered not do this now but he was feeling lighter than he had when he first found her.

“Um…” she deflated as she looked away. Obviously gathering herself before looking back and straightening herself on the stool. “I’m sorry about going in the room.”

“You don’t need to be sorry Felicity,” he replied with a shake of his head. He couldn’t be upset with her for following her gut. He just wished they’d been on the same page. “I just didn’t know you were ready to go in there.”

“I wasn’t…” Felicity said honestly. “Not at first…” she paused to take a deep breath. “I had wanted to make a few changes around the house.”

“I noticed, the pictures are wonderful! I love them,” he stated honestly, smiling as he looked at a picture of the three of them on the fridge.

“Oh I’m…” Felicity smiled, looking in the direction he was and nodded. “Well, it was something easy to do. I have always loved photos. Anyways… I hadn’t planned to go in their room. But well… I’ve been through the rest of the house already. It was the only thing left.”

“I just thought...” Oliver said and Felicity tilted her head as she stared at him. “I thought we would do it together.”

“I… well I hadn’t thought about how it would affect you. I’m sorry for that,” her voice took on a regretful tone as she looked away.

“Hey,” he stepped forward, his hand finding hers and giving it a squeeze. Her eyes met his and he offered her a smile. “I’m okay. It was just… a shock is all. I wasn’t prepared.”

Felicity sucked in a breath and slowly blew it out. “I was too honestly.”

“How so?”

She steadied herself, uncrossing her legs and pulling her hands into her lap, playing with the end of his shirt. “Well it had felt like the door was mocking me all week. Then mom took Livi and told me to pamper myself. I did, but I couldn’t fully enjoy it. The quiet house just kind of made that door stand out even more. I decided to have some wine, and a bath and all I could think was about that damn room and how I couldn’t believe I couldn’t go through the door.”

“I wish you had called me.”

“I know… I should have. Especially after I opened the door,” she wrung her hands together and he slid onto the stool next to her, he offered her his hand and she laced her fingers between his. “I opened that door and was hit with the smell of her. It was like… like she had just been there.”

The last came out as a whisper and Oliver felt his stomach twist. Often around the house he would feel like he’d just missed Tommy. Just around the corner, out of sight. The therapist had explained that it was normal. 

“Anyways, for the first hour I basically sat there and cried. I found the shirt she must have worn to work that day on the end of the bed and…” Felicity stopped, breathing slowly, her hand went to her face to wipe away a tear. She blew a fast breath out through her nose. “I cried and finished my second bottle of wine until I just didn’t think I had any tears left. When I finally stopped it was like I was on autopilot. I stripped the bed and started going through their closet. Like if I could just make a dent in their things that I could feel some closure. Then I found a box labeled memories and well… that’s where you found me.”

“You shouldn’t have had to do that alone.” Guilt gnawed at him for the pain she must have felt.

“You’re going to think this is crazy, but I didn’t feel alone,” she said softly, leaning her head on his shoulder. Oliver didn’t know what to say to that. She sat up straight and turned toward him. “Would you come up and help me finish it?”

“Felicity, I…” Oliver felt himself starting to lock up again. He’d told her later, and he did feel lighter now, but still the thought made his chest feel tight. It didn’t feel ‘later’ enough yet. But the look on her face, hopeful and open, he sighed. Digging deep for strength he wasn’t sure he had, he nodded. “Okay.”

“Only if you’re really okay with it,” Felicity said firmly, her eyes searching his.

“The therapist said that we needed to work on closure. This is one of the biggest things we can work on together to say goodbye right?” He looked at her and she bit her lip.

“For closure and moving forward,” Felicity said softly, reaching up to caress his face.

“Okay.”

After they’d finished their coffee and toast, Oliver followed Felicity upstairs. With the sun now coming in through the windows the room didn’t feel so oppressive. He watched as Felicity started on the floor, slipping the papers and photographs back into a box. She snapped the lid back on and lifted it off the floor and headed into the closet. Oliver followed and reached to take the box from her as she tried to lift it back onto the top shelf.

“Here, I’ll do that,” he slipped the box onto the shelf and pushed it into the far corner. “Are you sure you want to leave these things here? We could put some into frames.”

“Here is fine for now. I’ll go through them and organize them later. Right now maybe we could sort the clothing?” Felicity fingered a dress that was still on one of the hangers. It appeared that she had gone through Tommy’s clothing mostly. A lot of what was hanging was dresses and work suits of Laurel’s.

“It looks like you went through all of Tommy’s already,” he said with a smirk.

“Well I didn’t have much of an emotional attachment to any of his things. I put them in piles though. I’m not sure if you wanted anything,” she said with a shrug. “There is still some of his suits…” she turned to look where about ten of his suits still hung.

“Don’t worry about it Felicity, most of this can be donated. There are maybe a few things I’ll keep.”

In the end Oliver ended up donating all the suits, all but ten t-shirts that he had fond memories of Tommy wearing. All that was left to sort through were Tommy’s ties. They were in a large heap on the bed. He was just trying to decide what to do with them when Felicity came over with her phone.

“Look, we could make Livi a blanket with some of them,” she showed him a few pictures. “It could be a keepsake for her. I think I’m going to take some of Laurel’s shirts and make her a blanket of those too.”

“Well I think that’s a better idea than just donating them,” Oliver leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I love it.”

Felicity beamed up at him before moving back to where she was sorting through Laurel’s clothes. It was taking her a decidedly longer time. It seemed Laurel had held onto a lot of sentimental pieces, and Felicity had a hard time deciding what to give away and what to keep.

Oliver was rolling ties a few minutes later when Felicity giggled and came out of the back of the closet. The way she sashayed toward him, made him laugh, looking up he saw her holding a little plastic baggie up. He recognized it immediately. Tommy had confiscated it off the group that had come to set up for the bounce house during Livi’s first birthday party.

“Did you know that Laurel and Tommy smoked pot?” Felicity asked shaking the baggie.

“I know that on occasion Tommy would indulge a bit…” Oliver offered with a shrug, trying to read Felicity. She snorted and shook her head.

“What a waste to smoke it…” she headed toward the door.

“Hey where you going?” Oliver followed after her as she headed down the stairs, hopping down the last several.

“I’m going to bake brownies!” Felicity called over her shoulder heading toward the kitchen.

“How do you even know how to do that?” Oliver asked as he entered the kitchen, watching as she pulled a pan out and grabbed butter from the fridge, she sat the baggie on the counter and dropped the butter into the pan.

“Oh Oliver… the things you still need to learn about me,” she said with a wink as she got to work.

Oliver sat at the stool and watched as she melted the butter, tossing the herb and slowly stirred it. He fetched a box of brownie mix from the pantry when she asked. He watched as she worked. He didn’t last on the stool very long. Watching her move around in his shirt made him want to touch her. 

Felicity batted his hands away every time he reached for her. But he couldn’t help the way his fingers itched to touch the soft skin of her bare legs as she swayed her hips back and forth. 

“Oliver behave,” she lightly protested, but didn’t make to stop him.

“There’s no one here,” he stated the obvious and she laughed as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. She stirred the batter slowly before nudging him away to pour it in the pan.

By the time the brownies were in the oven he’d had her on the counter, impressed that she’d hidden the fact that she was bare underneath the entire time. Oliver lost himself in her, they were so distracted they almost ruined the brownies.

 

\---O---

 

Felicity giggled making Oliver grin. They were laying on the floor in the living room, some movie playing on the tv. The plate of brownies they’d made half gone. Which was probably a really bad idea but Livi wouldn’t be home til the next day so they could sleep off the high. 

She wore another pair of his boxer briefs and a loose fitted tank top. She was beautiful with her hair a mass of messy waves spread out across the rug. They’d showered and changed while they’d waited for the brownies to cool earlier.

“You’re staring,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“I was gone a month... sue me.”

“I would sue you but I’d rather tax your ass instead,” Felicity said, her stern tone giving way to another fit of giggles as she covered her face with her hands.

Oliver snorted and took a sip of his water, before moving to lean over her. “You don’t think you’ve taxed me enough for being gone?” 

He watched as she pursed her lips. Felicity’s eyebrows pinched together and she shifted, thinking about it. There had been the living room, the kitchen, the shower, after sandwiches there had been another moment in the kitchen, before they’d moved into the living room.

“No not yet,” she decided lifting herself up off the floor, Oliver leaned in for a kiss. The doorbell sounded and they knocked heads as they both startled at the same time. “Yowch!”

“Ugh, Oliver... who is that?!” Felicity whined at him as she rubbed her forehead, pulling herself upright off the floor.

“I have no idea,” he grumbled rubbing his own head. The bell chimed again and they both looked toward the front hall.

“Ignore it! They’ll go away,” she whispered, she reached out a hand toward the brownies and he grabbed the plate.

“No more!”

“Hey you’re no fun!” She whined and he thrust his glass of water into her hand.

“I know but this high could last for hours. I think that’s enough.”

“But I have the munchies,” Felicity pouted and Oliver chuckled. She looked cute with her bottom lip jutted out, he couldn’t help himself he leaned forward to kiss her just as the bell sounded again, twice in quick succession. “Jeez go away!” Felicity huffed, her tongue sneaking out to slip along his tongue before he pulled back.

“I’ve got it,” he said moving to get up, it was harder than normal as he tried to balance the plate of brownies at the same time. He knew if he left them that Felicity would help herself to another one.

Whoever was at the door was obviously annoyed as they began banging, before Oliver could stand up.  Shouting began a second later, giving away just exactly who was trying to visit them. Oliver chuckled as he stood up.

“ _ Come on Ollie!! Felicity!! _ ” Thea’s voice came muffled to them, sending Felicity into another round of giggles as she covered her mouth trying to quiet them. Oliver shook his head and smiled, because the situation was quickly spiraling. 

“ _ We know you guys are in there!! _ ” Thea yelled again, ringing the doorbell over and over. Annoying little brat. There was a muffled sound of Roy telling her that maybe they should come back. Thea argued that it was already so late in the day. She returned to yelling, “ _ Open up Ollie!! _ ” 

“So you know, for the record, your sister is a bit annoying,” Felicity commented as she tried to stand. She wobbled and Oliver steadied her. 

“Why don’t you sit on the couch? I’ll get the door. Drink some water,” he said as he pushed her into the couch. She bounced as she sat and took his water glass before he turned. He set the plate of brownies on a side table as he headed for the front door.

“I’m coming, chill your jets,” he heard Felicity mumble a ‘no you’re not coming, that was earlier’ before giggling behind him and he couldn’t help but choke on his own laugh at the choice of words. He pulled the door open to see his very annoyed little sister tapping her toe on the welcome mat and a very chagrined Roy standing next to her, his hands stuffed into his pocket. “Hi Thea… Roy,” Roy gave a nod and Thea just pushed forward. “Well come on in.”

“Ollie, where have you guys been all day? I tried calling and neither one of you answered. Where’s Felicity?” Thea had stopped in the foyer frowning at him. Roy stood just to the side of the door as he closed it.

Oliver started toward the living room just as Felicity yelled louder than necessary that she was in the living room. They all made their way there, Felicity beaming at them from her cross legged position on the floor, suspicious brown crumbs stuck to her bottom lip. Oh man give me strength, he thought as he shook his head.

“I thought I left you on the couch,” he whispered to her as he sat down on the couch.

“Oops,” she said before turning back to his sister and her friend. “Hi Thea, Roy, what are ya’ll doin’ here?”

Thea eyed them, her eyes shifting back and forth between the two of them. “Are you guys high?”

“What?!” Felicity gasped then laughed, biting her lip.

“Of course not!” Oliver said shaking his head at the same time.

Roy snorted and shook his head, dropping into one of the arm chairs as Thea crossed her arms over her chest. “This should be fun.”

“Right…” Thea said drawing out the end as she glared at him. Oliver swallowed and nudged Felicity with his knee and she made a small attempt to quiet herself.

“So… what did you need sister dear?” Oliver asked.

“Yeah… not that we don’t enjoy your company but…” Felicity started looking between the two. “We are having a no kids weekend.” Oliver finished for her.

“Yeah and all that goes with that,” she winked and Oliver chuckled at the red that covered both Thea and Roy’s faces at the same time. 

“Jezz you two are horrible,” Thea said as she shifted her embarrassment to disgust.

“Sorry,” Oliver offered with a laugh and a shake of his head. “But really… what’s up?”

“Um…” Roy rubbed his hand over his face, before looking toward Thea. They seemed to share a small wordless conversation. Both deflated before Thea nodded. 

“I’ll do it,” Thea said looking back at him. The way she looked worried made Oliver’s mind clear a bit. Whatever was coming he had an idea he wouldn’t exactly like. The last time he’d seen that face she’d broken one of mom’s heirloom vases and had blamed it on him.

“Do what?” Felicity asked, her hair brushing against his leg as she turned her head back and forth between the two, picking up on the new tension in the room.

“Well…” Thea started, shifting in her spot. She played with the ring on her finger, turning it around and around, Oliver’s attention moving to the motion. For a split second he thought he saw two. Oliver’s intoxicated brain for whatever reason decided that was an interesting notion and he watched closer. There… two rings. “I have some news.”

Oliver looked toward Roy who was rubbing his hands against his thighs and there… a ring.

“You’re pregnant?” Felicity supplied unhelpfully with a laugh, tapping on his leg. “Oliver I’ll bet they are pregnant. Roy you are so dead dude.”

“No. I don’t think that’s it,” Oliver said feeling anger start to sizzle along his spine. That rat bastard had eloped with his sister. “I think-”

“Actually she isn’t totally wrong,” Thea said in a rush. Oliver felt as if his head would pop off his neck as his death glare slipped off his face and he looked toward his sister. Shock made his body go stiff.

“Oh damn!” Felicity snorted, shaking her head. “Whoa… what? I’m right?!”

“Yes,” Thea said, moving across the room over to Roy. He took her outstretched hand and tugged her into his lap. Roy’s hand slipping low onto Thea’s stomach causes something to snap inside him.

“Get your hands off my sister!” Oliver finally bellowed, standing from the couch. 

“Hey now!” Thea said meeting his glare with one of her own. Not bothered at all Oliver felt a spike of pride at the way Roy shrunk back into the chair. “You can’t talk to him that way!”

“Oliver, we-,” Roy started but stopped when Oliver took a step toward them.

“Get out!” Oliver growled angrily, his gaze never shifting from Roy’s.

“Now you can’t talk to my husband like that!” Thea yelled back, standing to match Oliver’s stance. Roy’s hand never leaving her as he tried to pull her back.

“Oh My god!” Felicity almost yelled. “Roy you didn't!”

“Hey this wasn’t my idea!” Roy protested looking in Felicity’s direction.

“What!!!” Thea turned on him, he shrunk back away from her and Oliver smiled.

“I didn’t mean it like that baby!” Roy stammered reaching for her. 

“Then what did you mean?” Thea grumbled, crossing her arms.

All of a sudden Felicity was laughing. She was tugging on the end of his basketball shorts and he had to grab them before she pulled them off his hips, as she tried to stand up.

“Oh god…” Felicity laughed so hard she almost fell over. Oliver groaned as she finally got herself up, her hands holding onto his arm. “Oliver…” laughing grabbing his shirt as she leaned into him. “They eloped and are pregnant!” Felicity tipped over and fell on the couch, holding her hands over her stomach as she laughed and he tried hard to keep a smile from his face.

“Yeah… so funny,” Oliver grumbled, biting his lip to keep from laughing. “Ignore her.”

Thea and Roy watched them. It was Roy who talked next. “Where’s the weed?”

“No where,” Oliver stated and Felicity sang behind him. 

“It’s all gone… we used it aaallll!” She was laying on the couch, moving her arms around in the air.

Thea snorted and tried to cover her mouth, her smile reached her eyes though. Roy chuckled and Oliver felt all the fight leave him. The whole situation had gotten so out of hand. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. The anger slipping from him leaving him tired and high and he just couldn’t do both anymore.

“When?” He finally asked, sitting down on the couch. Felicity rolled too far in her fit of giggles and nearly landed on the floor. He chuckled as he caught her just before she bit it and helped her sit up. “When did you get married?” He clarified and Felicity leaned against him.

“A week ago,” Roy said as he sat back down in the arm chair, pulling Thea along with him. Felicity was sucking in large amounts of air as she tried to calm herself, she pressed her hands to her stomach and giggled. “Man is she okay?”

“Im fine,” Felicity managed to get out between breaths. 

“So last week you just decided to get married? What has mom and dad said?” Oliver asked watching as both Thea and Roy made mirrored faces. Both guilty and looked anywhere but at him. Oliver groaned and rubbed his face. “Oh great, you didn’t tell them.”

“Ollie, they’d never would have allowed it,” Thea protested.

“Of course not! God how could you-” 

“Be careful what you say,” Thea bit off quickly cutting him Oliver off before he could finish. “I love Roy, and I’m going to have his baby so we decided we just wanted to have it done and over with.” Her shoulders were tight and she glared at him.

Oliver marveled at the way she held herself. Thea had always been confident and sure of herself. But this was different. She was protective and sure and she reminded him of his mother. Damn if he wasn’t proud of her in that moment.

“Okay… I’m sorry,” Oliver apologized. Thea immediately softened. “I guess… congratulations are in order.”

“Thank you,” Thea said with a soft smile.

Oliver turned his attention toward Roy, the younger man seemed to sense his gaze and stiffened. He should apologize to him too, for letting his anger take over. He made to open his mouth when Roy cut him off.

“Oliver, I’m really sorry we didn’t come to ask you first, but you were out of town and well… I tried to talk some sense into her,” Roy stumbled and Oliver couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. No one reasoned with a Queen woman when she put her mind to something. Thea punched him and he stopped rubbing the spot.

“It’s okay,” Oliver said with a shake of his head. He bit his tongue against telling him that he was in over his head. He didn’t figure Thea would like that very much. But Oliver knew that his father would be angry at the course they chose. Mainly because he knew his father liked Roy and was happy about the match. “When are you telling mom and dad?”

“I don’t  um… I don’t know when we should,” Thea said uncertainly.

“Well how far along are you?” Felicity chimed in, she’d finally seemed to get a good handle on herself. Her eyes were still wide and fully dilated. Oliver worried that maybe she’d had too many of those brownies for her small body.

“Two and a half months…” Thea mumbled, looking away.

“So before you got engaged??” Oliver felt annoyance again as he glared at Roy.

“We didn’t know yet!” Thea cried at him. “I swear… we only just found out a month ago!”

Oliver rubbed his forehead. So much had happened… too much. “This is really a lot to take in.”

“I know it’s really horrible timing with everything, with Tom-... you know… everything else going on here. I’m so sorry,” Thea rushed to say.

“No no! Don’t be sorry,” Felicity said sliding her hand along Oliver’s arm and squeezing his fingers. “I think it’s wonderful! Not the whole eloping thing because well… I don’t know how your parents are gonna like that! I mean… Oliver wouldn’t they want you to do a prenup?”

“NO way!” Thea stormed and Oliver groaned. “I would never! Dad can keep his money!”

“Whoa hold on! Hold on,” Oliver waved his hand and shook his head. “No way would dad have forced that. Sure he would have offered it, probably would have preferred it but he wouldn’t have pushed for one. So calm down Speedy.”

“Oh…sorry,” Felicity said and he turned to look at her. She smiled. 

Thea sighed deeply and pressed her hands to her face. “This is a mess. I’m sorry we made such a mess of things.”

“It’s okay Thea, really. When do you plan to tell mom and dad?” Oliver asked.

“We were planning dinner on Sunday, we’d love for you and Felicity to be there, Livi too,” Thea answered, weaving her fingers through Roy’s in her lap.

“Well go,” Felicity said happily. 

“Definitely, wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Oliver said and smiled as Thea grinned, pulling free to move toward him. She threw her arms around him and hugged him.

“Thanks big brother!”

“You know it’s gonna hurt mom’s feelings right?” Oliver asked as she slowly pulled back.

“I …. Well I know. But I wasn’t thinking about them,” Thea said softly.

“It’ll work out,” Felicity offered.

“Yeah…” Thea said with a smile. 

“So is that all?” Oliver asked, watching as Roy stood up.

“I guess so…” Thea stepped back and Oliver raised up off the couch.

“We should probably leave them to their ‘no kid’ weekend,” Roy offered and Felicity snorted from behind him.

Oliver rolled his eyes and stepped toward the hallway as Roy and Thea both turned to leave.

“Oh… brownies!” Thea called in excitement as she made to reach for one on the side table.

“No,” Oliver started but Felicity had jumped up from the couch and grabbed the plate away from Thea. 

“You can’t have those!” Felicity almost yelled, pulling the plate behind her as Thea stumbled away shocked at Felicity’s outburst. “They’re bad… so bad you can’t have any!”

“Well then,” Thea frowned. Roy chuckled and shook his head.

“That’s where the weed went. Come on Thea,” Roy reached for her hand and tugged her toward the front door.

“Sorry Thea… I didn’t mean to snap at you. It would be horrible terrible for the baby and we don’t want that. Um… yes you should go before me and Oliver start to do things again and by things…” Felicity babbled nervously and Oliver ushered Roy and Thea toward the front door.  “I mean important things not the sex things.”

“Oh jeez Ollie, she should never get high ever again,” Thea murmured as they walked out the front door.

“Noted,” Oliver stated as he shut the door behind them.

Felicity stood in the doorway between the hallway and the living room. “Sorry?”

Oliver snorted and pushed off from the door. 

“Don’t be,” he said tiredly, with a shake of his head. He was suddenly so exhausted from the day and the information overload. He held his hand out toward her, “How about a nap?”

She easily came forward slipping her hand into his with a yawn. Oliver smiled at her as she nodded. 

“A nap sounds amazing,” she leaned into him as he lead her toward his room.

They’d deal with the rest of the room upstairs later, and move his things then. For now it could wait.


	19. Felicity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the absense. This chapter has been written 15 times... maybe. I've lost count. The muse left a few months ago and then we had a crazy summer, and the new school year has started, just as crazy but I'm feeling like writing again. I apologize for the lengthy pause, but I hope you'll enjoy this. We are winding up to a close. Thanks for sticking it out. ~C

Felicity pulled her hair into a ponytail, running her fingers through the silky strands before letting it go. Her eyes caught Oliver’s through the mirror as he watched her from the bedroom, she offered him a soft happy smile. Her stomach gave a little swoop as he winked at her. He pulled a white t-shirt over his head, turning away. 

Having Oliver back home was such a relief. Everything felt balanced and right with her world finally. The only person missing now was Livi. She hadn't realized just how much they’d both become an integral part of what she needed to function properly. 

Not that she hadn’t fully enjoyed the last twenty four hours. Even with the emotionally draining stuff regarding Laurel and Tommy’s belongings the time had been wonderful. They had made good on the time alone to reconnect. It felt good to feel like they were on the same page, and could continue to move forward.

A small amount of guilt lingered in her mind over causing Oliver undue stress and pain. Felicity had felt she needed to start working on it, it was like ripping a bandaid off, the sooner she started it the quicker she could be done with it. She hadn’t thought about how that would affect Oliver though. She needed to work on that.

Oliver had repeatedly promised he was fine, even started to shake his head after each time she asked him, a small chuckle on the end. But earlier when they’d passed the doorway she observed him shying away from it. She knew he needed more time. She would give it to him. 

Today, with very little prodding, they had concentrated on moving his things upstairs. They filled the time with stories of things that happened during their separation. Along with discussing the best ways to organize their shared space. It seemed Oliver was a master organizer, which worked well for Felicity, she was horrible at organization. 

Oliver’s razor sitting on the counter caught her attention, seeing the few items he’d placed in the bathroom made her smile. Warmth radiated through her chest. They looked right there, as if they had never not been. What they were doing wasn’t quite the same thing as moving in together. But in a lot of ways it felt exactly like that, she was relieved they were doing this together without any awkwardness.

Oliver wandered into the bathroom, a navy sweater pulled over his white t-shirt. They were getting ready for the family dinner that Thea and Roy had called everyone together for. A dinner that was sure to cause quite a bit of drama. 

Felicity still couldn’t wrap her mind around both bombshells those two had dropped on them. After they’d slept off their high, it had taken Oliver quite a while to get her to even believe it had happened. The anger behind his words brought back the foggy memory of his outburst and everything came flooding back. Oliver was obviously still very displeased with how things had happened. In his eyes they were too young to make such rushed decisions. Felicity agreed but there wasn’t much that could be done now. 

Felicity knew that most of his irritation was from the fact that his baby sister wasn’t a baby anymore, and he was having a hard time letting go of the big brother role. Thea had grown into an adult who could make her own decisions. Of course along with making your own decisions came dealing with the consequences of those decisions. 

Oliver stated that as aware of that fact as he was, he still didn’t have to like it. Felicity knew he would need time, but that eventually he would soften. Probably around the time his new niece or nephew made their grand entrance into the world. Until then she’d just continue to remind him that no matter how it came about this was something to be happy about.

“You about ready?” Oliver asked as he grabbed his toothbrush from the cup on the counter and rinsed it, prepping to brush his teeth.

“Are you? Because you’re the one that hasn’t seen Livi in a month,” Felicity reminded him, grabbing her own toothbrush. Oliver put toothpaste on his toothbrush and handed it to her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Felicity smiled as she put some on her own brush.

“I saw her on video,” Oliver commented before beginning to brush his teeth vigorously. 

“Oliver, that is not the same thing as seeing her in person,” Felicity stated waving her toothbrush through the air as Oliver shrugged. “It’s not the same thing as holding her and seeing her with your own eyes. She’s grown quite a bit, you know,” Felicity stated before beginning to brush her own teeth. Stopping to add around the brush, “She’s even started to say more things. She calls my mom Ona and Quentin pop.”

She tucked away the weird and unwarranted feel of irritation she felt that Livi had yet to call her anything, she took care of her the most. No amount of trying to get her to call her Auntie Felicity, or any variation of that worked. Nothing the seventeen month old ever said came close. If she wanted something from Felicity she would come up to her tug or grunt, then point. It was frustrating trying to figure out what the child wanted most of the time.  

Even though the therapist had assured her that it was normal for her age, it still made Felicity feel like she was doing something wrong. That maybe she wasn’t doing enough. She’d give anything for Livi to communicate with her.

Oliver spit into the sink and turned on the faucet to rinse. The sound pulled Felicity back to the here and now. She picked up brushing her teeth, realizing she’d stopped on one side of her mouth.

“That’s really great! It’s about time she started saying more,” Oliver said as he wiped his mouth with the hand towel. His eyes watched her as she nodded before bending to spit into the sink and rinse her mouth.

“It’s good she feels comfortable enough I guess,” Felicity said with a shrug, dropping her toothbrush into the holder and taking the towel from him to dry her face. She tossed it in the hamper and reached for her lipstick, the last of her makeup to finish before her mother arrived.

“Felicity, is something bothering you?” Oliver asked leaning against the counter, she could feel his worried gaze on her and she sighed.

“No, I’m okay,” she answered honestly. She would be just fine. Eventually Livi would give her a name too and she’d be just fine. She pushed the disappointment down deep to deal with another time. They had a lot more to worry about. 

Oliver eyed her and she shrugged.

“Okay, maybe I’m just a little worried about how the dinner is going to go tonight. I suppose at least we aren’t the ones in the hot seat,” she winked and Oliver chuckled as the doorbell sounded through the house.

“That’s gotta be them,” Oliver said eagerly, before leaning in to kiss her on the forehead. Felicity smiled leaning into his kiss, she knew how much he had missed Livi. “I’ll get it.”

Then he was gone, having ducked quickly out of the bathroom. Felicity chuckled and shook her head. She hoped that Livi would be just as eager to see him.

Felicity quickly finished the last swipe of color, capped her lipstick and followed after Oliver. He had just gotten to the door and opened it when she reached the top of the stairs. Donna entered with Livi in her arms. Livi was sound asleep on her shoulder.

“Sorry, she fell asleep in the car. I tried to wake her but…” Donna trailed off as Oliver reached for Livi, smiling at him as Felicity slowly made her way down the stairs.

“It’s okay. A little nap won’t hurt her,” Oliver pulled her small body close to his, cradling her against his shoulder.

“I dunno, that kid does not wake up well sometimes,” Quentin commented as he entered and closed the door behind him. “Too much of her momma in her.”

Felicity looked him over at the mention of Laurel, she caught the way his lip quirked up in an all too familiar way. A small smirk that she hadn’t seen in a while, it lasted for several seconds longer than it would have a month ago. Such a small normal thing, making her smile.

Quentin was looking better each time she saw him. The weight of his loss lifted and dulled a little, if only momentarily. Losing two daughters and a son in law in one night wasn’t something you just got over. She knew he still had horrible days, just like her and Oliver, but therapy and family time seemed to be helping. It warmed her heart that he was smiling today. 

“Laurel was always up with the sun,” Felicity said as she finished her descent down the last few stairs. She rubbed her hand over Livi’s back. Oliver pressed a soft kiss to Livi’s head as she sighed.

“I know, I was speaking more of the nap time wake ups,” Quentin said as he shuffled, Donna moving to wrap her arm low around his back. The intimate way he looked down at her mother had her looking away, not wanting to pry on their private moment.

“Was she good?” Felicity asked, eyes meeting Oliver’s as he smiled back at her. He looked right at home holding Livi, like everything was finally right in his world again. She felt the same way, a soft peace settled over her, watching the two together.

“Of course she was wonderful, sweet girl,” her mother said with a click of her tongue. “We took her to the park and she ran around and around, even pushed her in the swing she really enjoyed herself.”

“Sounds like a fun time. Thanks for taking care of her,” Oliver stated as Livi shifted in his arms, lifting her head off his shoulder. 

She looked between Felicity and Oliver, blinking her blue eyes rapidly. A sleepy smile spread across her lips before she dropped her head back down on his shoulder.

“Hi Dada,” left her little lips as she patted Oliver’s cheek. Her eyes closed as she rubbed her tiny hand back and forth over his stubbled cheek.

For Felicity it felt like the air had been suddenly sucked from the room. She watched Oliver’s eyes widen in shock, him affected as well. Felicity legs wobbled as she grabbed the banister before plopping down on a step with a thud, her fingers gripped tightly around the wood.

“Did she just-” her mother gasped out, sounding every bit as shocked as Felicity felt.

“I think I need to sit,” Oliver said on a breath, lunging forward toward the living room, holding tight to Livi as he moved. 

Donna and Quentin followed after him immediately. Oliver dropped down onto the couch and pressed his face into Livi’s curls. His eyes shut tight.

Felicity gathered herself long enough to push up off the stairs and make it to the couch next to him. Oliver’s hand sought out hers, lacing their fingers together he turned to look at her. His eyelids red and damp. She could see the uncertainty reflecting back.

Why would she call Oliver dada? All this time with them calling him Oliver and she calls him dada! 

Felicity drew in a slow breath and broke eye contact to look at Livi. She was sucking two of her fingers, her nose pressed into Oliver’s neck, a small smile on her lips, her eyes closed. Livi looked so at peace.

“Do you think we heard her right?” Felicity finally asked her voice barely above a whisper. The silence around her felt heavy, the air thick and stagnant.

“I think so honey,” Donna whispered, staring at them. 

“It has to be a mistake,” Oliver said drawing Felicity’s eyes back to his. “I mean, why would she call me that? I’ve always said I’m uncle Ollie, or uncle Oliver… this can’t possibly be right! We should call the therapist.”

“I don’t think you need to be so hasty,” Quentin chimed in quietly from across the room. He had a deep V on his forehead, deep in thought.

“I think we should,” Felicity said more firmly. This couldn’t be right. Surely she wouldn’t have forgotten Tommy was her father.

“No I think it’s okay, I think… Donna, remember when Sara called you mama?” Quentin turned toward her mother. Felicity looked back and forth between the two. What was he talking about?

“Mom?”

“Oh… well that’s not really-” Donna began to shake her head.

“No,” Quentin cut in, “It is the same thing. After the girls met and we started seeing more of each other. Sara called you mama a few times,” he stated adamantly, pointing at Donna. “Little ones are simple. We teach them that the ones who care for them are mama and dada and so it’s easiest for them to use those labels. This is basically the same thing, she’s too little to understand anything else.”

Felicity stared at her mother. She didn’t remember Sara ever calling Donna mom. But she couldn’t possibly remember everything from those early times. She was just too young. Was it really normal for Livi to label Oliver ‘dada’? What if Quentin was right? 

The more she thought about what he said the more little pieces started to fall into place. Livi still woke up crying out for Mama or Dada in the night. But would calm much faster now when Felicity went into her. The moment she heard Felicity’s voice as she entered the room or the moment she picked her up from her crib she would calm. 

Always the same, deep breath as tension left her body and Livi would press her face into Felicity’s neck. Felicity thought it was the sweetest thing. It seemed so familiar, she could have sworn she’d seen it before...

“Oh my god,” Felicity gasped out as the pieces to the puzzle snapped together in her mind. Livi and Oliver turned at the same time. Livi’s eyes went wide and happy as they locked on her, finally awake.

“Mama,” was spoken around her fingers with a half giggle. 

Felicity felt her heart seize in her chest. It was all too much.

“I have to…” Felicity popped up off the couch and rushed out the front door. 

She just needed air. She couldn’t pull in a full breath, her chest just felt tighter with every breath, her lungs refusing to fill. Everything had started closing in around her and she just needed to be out of that house. She just needed air.

Before Felicity realized how far away from the house she’d gotten she was close to hyperventilating. A quick look around her told her she was at the small park in their neighborhood. She fell onto a bench nearby and tried to force air into her lungs. 

Instead of offering relief it burned through her throat and deep into her chest, tears blurred her vision. A sob spilled from her before she could stop it. Felicity pulled her feet up and wrapped her arms around her knees. Pressing her face against her knees she let the tears fall, pain ripping through her chest as she thought about what this all could have meant.

How long had she wished for Livi to call her Auntie or Felicity or something close to it. Instead it appeared that the little girl had already been calling her something, but she’d been so blind to it.

Livi had called her ‘mama’. 

Felicity didn’t feel relief at all at the revelation. All she felt was pain and regret. The overwhelming feeling of betrayal for Laurel swamped her as new tears rolled down her cheeks, soaking into her jeans as she pressed her face harder into her knees. 

How could she have missed it? Why did it bother her so much?

Felicity isn’t sure how long she’d sat there, trying to figure out how to tame the war going on inside her when she felt someone sit beside her. She turned her face to her right and sighed pressing her cheek against her damp knee. She bit her lip as she took in the look of the man sitting beside her.

Just earlier she’d been happy to see his smile. Quentin now sat with a frown and a deep crease between his brows as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees with his hands clasped hanging in the space between. He gave a gentle huff before turning his head so that his eyes met hers.

“You done wallowing?” Quentin asked grumbly.

Felicity frowned. “I’m not wallowing.”

“Right,” he sat up and leveled her with what her and Laurel had affectionately called the ‘dad glare’. “Look, Oliver is back at home on the phone with the therapist, on his own because you took off-”

“I just needed-”

“I know Felicity,” Quentin swiftly cut off her defense with the dad voice. Felicity bit the inside of her cheek to keep from reminding him she wasn’t a child that needed reprimanding. “I know why you darted off. You were faced with something you weren’t ready to cope with. I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t understand.”

Felicity nodded, leaning back into the bench, watching as Quentin rubbed his face.

“I know you better than most having helped, in small ways, raise you. Laurel and you were the closest two people I’ve ever met. I imagine right now you’re imagining her rolling over in her grave at the idea of her little girl calling someone else mama. That it’s a betrayal of the worst kind that it’s you.”

“You’re not far off…” Felicity mumbled and Quentin nodded. She hadn’t imagined Laurel rolling in her grave but now that he’d mentioned it...

“The thing is Felicity, she knew this could happen,” Quentin stopped, swallowing hard before continuing. “Not that they were going to die so soon and put their plan into action, but she knew that in the event of something happening their plan would be put into action. That someone in effect would be stepping into her shoes if something happened to her. So don’t for one moment believe that she’d find this to be a betrayal. Laurel would never have thought of it that way. I believe you know that too.”

A tear slid down Felicity’s cheek as she stared out over the playground. “I don’t know that Quentin. I can’t imagine a world in which Livi calling someone else mama, myself included, would be okay. It hurts to think that she’s chosen to call me that.”

“There’s no world where it’s okay,” Quentin started after a few moments of silence. Felicity turned to meet his eye. “But to me, there isn’t another person that deserves it more than you.”

Felicity swallowed back at the growing knot in her throat. “Quentin I don’t-”

“Please don’t sell yourself short,” Quentin said quickly. His eyes sad even as he smiled at her. “You’ve so fully stepped into the role of taking care of her when you didn’t have to. It was a huge task set before you and I’ve been amazed at the grace with which you’ve taken it on. Felicity, you’re so much stronger than I believe you think you are. Honestly, I think that Laurel would be proud to see how you are doing, that she made the best decision for the person she wanted to have fill her shoes. Livi calling you mama is a sign of how well you’re doing just that.”

Felicity didn’t know what to say after that. Her heart was aching so much from the weight of his words and the situation itself that she was speechless. She focused on the swing set and tried to hold herself together. 

She wasn’t sure she agreed with his assessment. Still in her heart and mind Livi calling anyone but Laurel mama was wrong. But she took his words to mean that she wasn’t failing as badly at taking care of Livi as she sometimes felt. That maybe she wasn’t doing things wrong like she feared. She would have to figure out her feelings over Livi calling her mama. Maybe she needed to talk to her therapist too.

“So…” Quentin said softly a few minutes later drawing her attention back to him. He rubbed his hands over his thighs before standing up. He held his hand out to her,  “We should head back, find out how much help the therapist was for Oliver. You two have that dinner to go to at his parents’ place.”

“Oh God, I don’t think I can go to that dinner,” Felicity answered shaking her head. It would require holding herself together and she just wasn’t prepared to do that. She wasn’t even sure how Oliver was doing, how they were going to deal with the new thing thrown in their way. “I just can’t.”

“Well, that’s something you’ll have to discuss with Oliver. Something tells me they won’t mind you canceling given what’s going on. We’ll have to head back though to find out,” Quentin’s voice held very little room for negotiation, he reopened his palm and she reached out and took it. He pulled her up off the bench. “Good girl.”

Felicity gave a watery chuckle as Quentin pulled her into his embrace. He hugged her tightly as she pressed her face into his wide chest. She fought back the flood of fresh tears, not wanting to soak his shirt. 

“You’ll be okay kid,” Quentin’s voice wavered just a smidge, alerting Felicity to just how affected he was. “Let’s go.”

 

~o~l~i~c~i~t~y~

 

When Felicity and Quentin made it back to the house it was quiet. They found Donna in the living room playing with Livi. Felicity frowned and scanned the room. Where was Oliver?

“He’s on the back porch,” Donna said, without looking up from where she was helping Livi fit a block into the shape sorter. 

“Thanks, I’ll just-” Felicity started, motioning toward the back of the house.

“I think that’s a great idea,” her mother answered, looking up as Quentin dropped down onto the couch behind her, his hand reaching forward to squeeze Donna’s shoulder. 

“Right,” Felicity said with a nod and turned toward the kitchen.

As she moved through the kitchen she caught a glimpse of Oliver through the window. Her heart sank at the sight. He sat in one of the deck chairs, leaned forward on his elbows, his hands clasped behind behind his head. Would they ever just get to be happy? 

She moved out of the house and over to where he sat, he sat up as Felicity reached his chair. His eyes were red and glassy when they met hers but he smiled.

“I cancelled dinner,” Oliver stated as he reached for her and pulled her down into his lap.

Felicity slipped her shoes off and moved her feet over the arm of the chair. She slipped lower in his lap and resting her head against his chest as he propped his feet on the ottoman. He rested his chin on her head and Felicity sighed. “I figured with everything-”

“I agree it’s best. I was just coming to tell you we should.”

“Good, I didn’t want you to think I was making unilateral decisions about what we should do,” Oliver said softly.

“I know you won’t Oliver,” Felicity said in return. It was something she had feared early on, right after the loss but she had been wrong and she wouldn’t be again.

“Okay,” he sighed, rubbing her arm before blowing out a slow breath. “I talked to the therapist.”

“I know, Quentin told me you called her,” Felicity swallowed and turned a little so she could see his face. “What did she say?”

“That it’s nothing to worry about. That kids do this, we answer when she screams out at night for them. We answer and do things for her. It’s natural for them, especially at Livi’s age to pick the easiest label,” Oliver paused, taking another slow measured breath. “In other words she’s totally normal, and we need to let her do what is easiest for her.”

“Even if it sucks for us,” Felicity added with a groan and Oliver squeezed her.

“Exactly. I asked if she wanted to see us, and she told me that she felt that perhaps we needed to speak with our therapists instead, that she didn’t want to see Livi for something that was within the realm of positive growth. But she was worried about how we may be handling it,” Oliver answered with a pointed look at Felicity.

She nodded, it made sense. She felt like her emotions were walking a tightrope. Oliver groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I thought I had officially lost my mind,” Oliver said honestly. “I don’t know how to feel about any of this. It’s strange, I feel conflicted yet…,” he paused shaking his head. “I remember the first time she said dada. Tommy called me, he was so excited. Laurel was pissed,” he chuckled making Felicity smile. She remembered the email she’d gotten at work from Laurel, she clearly remembered being shocked at the amount of F-bombs her friend had used. 

“It felt wrong having her call me that. You know?” Oliver added a moment later. 

It had felt wrong, it was only once but that seemed more than enough. But it hadn’t just been once had it. No it had been going on for a while. At least since Oliver had been gone.

“Yes… ,” Felicity stood up and started to pace. Oliver stared at her as her nerves made her antsy. She had let it slip right under her nose for weeks. “I thought maybe it was a fluke,” she shook her head making another pass in front of him. “You have to understand I didn’t see this happening. I didn’t know it was happening…. I was so blind, Oliver!”

“Felicity?” Oliver looked at her, clearly puzzled.

“When we were sitting on the couch… she called me mama and I thought, good grief what is wrong with her. But then… as I thought about it, like really thought about it. God Oliver I think she’s been calling me mama for a couple of weeks and I didn’t even realize it!!” She finished in a rush, her heart picking up into a rapid skitter in her chest. The earlier panic returning at a maddening pace.

“Hey wait… Felicity!” Oliver stopped her as she paced by, his hands holding her hips and making her face him. “I don’t think I’m following you correctly. She’s been calling you mama for weeks?”

“I … uh… yes I mean… I think so. She stops crying immediately now when I pick her up. Even if I enter the room. She screams mama at night and I come running. Because what else am I supposed to do right? I didn’t even think about it. It’s like autopilot, but she does this thing where she just leans into you… presses her face close and takes a breath. Then she makes this little sigh sound and all the tension leaves her body,” She gasped and searched his eyes, praying he was following her. “Oliver, she did that with Laurel! All the time! But you haven’t been here… you were gone and I was the only one and I was so frazzled!”

“Calm down!” Oliver instructed, squeezing her hips and she nodded, trying to slow the rate at which she was breathing.

Quentin, the therapist; they were both right. Livi had simply made Felicity fit the part that was missing. She wasn’t sure if the little one understood that Felicity wasn’t actually her mother. She wasn’t sure if she remembered Laurel at all. But in those wee hours of the morning when she was scared and she cried out, Felicity would just be there. 

“She must be so confused!” Felicity cried softly, tears falling again. “Oliver, we keep telling her to call us uncle and auntie when we respond to mama and dada. We did this!”

Felicity’s eyes locked on Oliver’s and she witnessed the moment it clicked. The look of confusion slowly gave way to a resigned understanding. He nodded once, again tightening his fingers on her hips. She quickly wiped away at the wetness on her face.

“I…” Oliver shook his head, closing his eyes once before letting go of her and sitting back in the chair once more. “We couldn’t have known.”

“No, I suppose not. But what do we do from here?” She asked, slumping down on the ottoman across from him.

Oliver opened his eyes to look at her. “We get over it.”

“Oliver that’s hardly-”

“I know it won’t be easy. But what do you want to do Felicity? Tell her she’s wrong? Strip away something that brings her comfort?” Oliver’s eyes stared hard at her, his voice had an even harder edge as she leaned away.

“Of course not,” she answered back, her own voice hard. 

That was the last thing she’d want to do. All Felicity wanted to do was make that little girl happy. No matter what. She bit her lip, chewing at it as the silence lingered between them.

“I think talking to the therapists is a wise idea,” Oliver said finally, Felicity nodded.

“Yes, I’ll call mine tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll do the same,” Oliver said softly as he stood up. “I should get dinner started. There should be something in the house I could whip together.”

Oliver was officially ending the conversation for that time. Felicity found herself annoyed yet relieved. Not having a plan, or knowing how to deal with this new development left her unsettled. But they were skipping a nice dinner with his parents and sister because of it, and they’d need to feed Livi. Plus she was sure Donna and Quentin would like to flee the tension.

“Yeah… I’ll go in and take care of Livi. I’m sure my mom and Quentin have better things they could be doing,” Felicity stood and smoothed her hands over her stomach, wishing it would settle. Her heart still felt like a heavyweight in her chest.

She looked up as she Oliver touched her face. His blue eyes locked on hers as he slid his thumb over her lip, tugging it free of her teeth. 

“We will get through this the same way we do everything else… Together, okay?”

Felicity nodded and he pulled her in for a hug. She drew in a deep, settling breath, her nerves calming at the warmth his hug offered. 

“Sorry about dinner,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Truthfully she wasn’t all that sorry.   
“I’m not. I wasn’t all that excited to go,” he said on a chuckle as he released her, lacing his fingers with hers as they headed back into the house. “I think Thea needs a good dose of dealing with her own problems with our parents on her own.”

“We should call them later, see if they survived,” Felicity said as she let go of his hand to head toward the living room while Oliver opened the pantry.

“My Thea and Roy?” Oliver asked as he looked back over his shoulder.

“No your parents!” 

Oliver laughed and shook his head. Felicity was sure that the dinner at the Queen mansion would go okay. She wasn’t so sure how theirs would go as she made her way to the living room. 

Livi stood up and came toward her with her arms raised, the sweetest smile on her face and said, “Mama up!”

 

~o~l~i~c~i~t~y~

 

Normal.

That had been the statement from all their therapists. That Olivia Megan Merlin was a normal and lovely child, who seemed to be moving along in her life just as normally as could be expected. A perfect little seventeen month old.

Felicity felt anything but normal. It had been three weeks worth of Livi calling her mama, and Oliver dada. Every time was just as unsettling as the last. 

Oliver seemed to be able to shrug it off. It was almost as if he accepted it. He had talked to his therapist and of course she’d agreed with Livi’s, that it was a normal course for the little girl’s mind to take. 

Sure, she had had the same exact chat with her own doctor, but she still didn’t like it. Felicity felt like Livi had forgotten her mother, that it was her fault. She had horrible dreams that Laurel would be devastated and would hate what was happening. It was almost as painful as losing them had been. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, no matter how she tried to push it away. 

How could everyone else just get past it? 

She would be lying if she said it didn’t make her angry how everyone else seemed to just accept it. Was she the only one that thought about how hurt Tommy and Laurel would be? To know that their young daughter had forgotten about them?

Oliver kept saying that they would have wanted Livi to be happy, no matter how it played out. He accepted that they had no real control over what Livi called them right now. But Felicity just couldn’t make her heart accept it. She didn’t know what it would take for that to happen. As it stood she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to, not without Laurel coming back and telling her it was okay. That wasn’t going to happen.

Felicity sat staring at pictures of her and Laurel in one of Laurel’s favorite photo albums, the ache in her chest so heavy it was hard to breath. She knew she shouldn’t be looking at the pictures, all they did was make her long for a return to a life less complicated. She knew that wasn’t healthy, her doctor had told her that much. 

Livi’s giggle filled the room, drawing Felicity’s attention away from the book in her lap and the thoughts that constantly plagued her. The sight before her instantly made her smile, she couldn’t have helped it. Livi sat in the middle of the floor, toys scattered around her. She had lifted her little baby doll up, babbling some kind of nonsense before giving it an opened mouth kiss on the face. 

Felicity laughed. There was no denying that even in the depth of her pain Livi had a way of filling her life with light. If only Laurel could see her.

Livi’s wide blue eyes found Felicity’s, drawn by her laugh. A wide smile spread her lips and she stood up, bent in half as she became erect in the middle of the floor, a new milestone. She started toward Felicity, dragging the doll behind her. 

“Mama, up,” Livi squealed upon reaching her. Felicity ignored the tug in her chest that happened every time Livi called her mama. Livi reached her little arms up, hands impatiently tugging on the end of Felicity’s skirt at her knee. Felicity smiled and nodded, closing the book on her lap.

“Okay baby girl,” she said as she reached under Livi’s arms, pulling her and the doll up into her lap. She carefully set her down, making sure not to tip the album off onto the floor. 

Livi sighed, pressing her face into Felicity’s neck before then offering her baby to Felicity. “‘Iss mama?”

Felicity chuckled and kissed the doll on the forehead making Livi giggle and point to her own forehead. “You too huh?”

“‘Ess!” Livi breathed excitedly, Felicity obliged her with a kiss to her forehead. Livi hummed and shifted turning toward the album, pointing to the cover. “Ead mama?” 

“This isn’t a reading book Livi. It’s a picture one,” Felicity tugged it into the little girl’s lap.

Livi looked down, then turned to look at her, a quizzical look on her face.

Felicity had regretted not pulling out the albums more often. They had pictures of Tommy and Laurel up around the house still, but not too many. It had been so hard to see them everywhere. There were all the ones still in Livi’s room. Felicity found she rarely even glanced at them. Not because she didn’t want to see them but because they were always so busy while in that room.

No time better than the present, she thought as she opened the cover. Perhaps it wasn’t a reading book, but it was loaded with stories. Too many to actually share with Livi so small but oh as she grew… Felicity smiled at the thought of sharing them with her as she was old enough to understand them.

Felicity found one of her favorite pictures of Tommy and Laurel from their wedding day. The picture taking up the whole page, a candid moment before they shoved cake into each other’s faces. They were both smiling at the camera, holding their slices of cake aloft. 

“Look Livi,” Felicity pointed to the picture. Livi’s head tipped forward. “This is mama and dada.” Her finger pointing to each of them in turn.

Livi touched the picture of Laurel. “Mama?” Her little voice full of question. Felicity felt her heart squeeze, would Livi recognize her face? “No mama,” she said with a shake of her head. The squeeze on her heart, became a vice like grip. It seemed her worst fear was being realized.

“Yes. This is mama,” Felicity choked out around the constricting of her throat, touching the picture of Laurel. Livi gave a small growl and shook her head.

“Mommy!” she said firmly poking the picture. “Mom-mee!”

“That’s right Livi,” Felicity said, relief pouring through her, perhaps she was wrong. Yes, Laurel was mommy. “That’s right baby girl that is mama.”

Livi huffed and turned, touching Felicity’s face. “Mama!”

Felicity stared at her. The look on Livi’s face was firm. Obstinate even, before she looked away and poked the picture again, harder than before.

“Mommy,” she said irritated.

Could it be… Felicity touched the picture, right beside Livi’s little finger. “Mommy?” she asked softly.

“Es!” Livi said, touching Felicity’s hand.

“Who is mama?” Felicity asked, her heart racing as she started to put the pieces together.

Livi turned in her lap, kneeling and pointed at Felicity’s chest. “Mama.”

A great relief suddenly filled Felicity. The weight of the guilt over the last month lifted as she realized Livi hadn’t forgotten Laurel. No, she knew exactly who Laurel was. Felicity marveled at the intelligence of this little girl, only seventeen months. She wasn’t sure if that was normal for that age but she would accept it. 

Livi called her mama, lovingly and by obvious choice. It wasn’t due to some need for a label but because she viewed Felicity as just as important as her mommy. Without tormenting Livi she assumed that she probably had done the same for Oliver. 

Felicity’s heart felt light and she choked back on a sudden sob of relief as she hugged Livi. Livi giggled and hugged her back before starting to squirm.

“Down mama!”

Felicity let her go. Her heart hammered in her chest as Livi moved across the floor to her blocks, dropping the doll on her way. Oblvious to the torment she had just ended. 

Felicity looked at Laurel’s picture in the album. “Thank you,” she whispered, it may have been silly but in that moment she believed her best friend had given her a gift from beyond the grave. A moment with her daughter to let Felicity know it was okay to accept what was going on. That Livi hadn’t forgotten about her. With Felicity’s help, she’d make sure that it never happened.

  
  
  
  



	20. Oliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Lovelies, I hope you enjoy this. Kind of a filler chapter or something... it's working to a wrap-up. Thank you for reading. I love hearing everyone's feedback and hope you aren't too disappointed with this. Much Love - C

“Hello Oliver.”

Oliver’s head popped up from the report he was reading. His mother stood in the doorway to his office, a warm smile brightening her features. He returned the smile, dropping the report onto his desk and stood. He waved her in as he came around his desk.

“Hi mom, what are you doing here?” He crossed his office and gave her a hug.

Moira hugged him back with a tight squeeze before pulling back. “Well I just came from looking at dresses with your sister and thought I would stop in and see how you were doing.”

“I’m doing fine,” Oliver replied as he stepped away, leading his mother to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk, he leaned against the edge of his desk, arms crossed over his chest. “How did it go with Thea?”

“She’s starting to show so she wasn’t thrilled with dress shopping,” Moira adjusted as she sat, pulling her purse into her lap, she met Oliver’s questioning gaze. That had to be a first. Thea loved shopping, any kind of shopping. Moira shrugged. “She’ll survive.”

Oliver knew that the two hadn’t been on great terms since the dinner where they came clean about eloping and being pregnant. The making them grandparents was met with happiness, the elopement not so much. His father had taken it much worse than any of them could have thought. Robert was still avoiding the pair.

Turns out that Robert had really looked forward to giving Thea away. He was disappointed that they stole that honor away from him. It didn’t matter that the pair had apologized and promised to go through with the ceremony at an earlier time than planned. None of it made his father budge.

Oliver was sure that by the time the ceremony and reception actually happened his father would warm up. For now, though he was going to control what he could, which was to avoid the two that had made him upset.

Moira for her part had been annoyed that all her plans would need to be changed. Rushed even, in order to make Thea happy about her own wedding. Not that it wasn’t doable but it caused a bit of a rift at a time that they should all be celebrating. But like his mother said, Thea would survive it.

“I’m sure she will,” Oliver said with a nod.

“I’m more worried about you at the moment. How are things with you, Livi and Felicity?” his mother ventured carefully. It was much how Donna and Quentin had treated them for a few weeks as well. Oliver sighed and moved to sit in the chair beside his mom.

In the month or so since Livi had called him dada he had been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. He waffled between feeling guilt and relief and guilt at the relief. Guilt because Tommy was gone and he didn’t feel he deserved to be called dada. Additional guilt weighed on him because Felicity was so bothered by Livi calling her mama and there was very little he could do about it.

Sometimes he felt relief that Livi was becoming comfortable enough with them to call them mama and dada, but that would eventually circle back to guilt over the label belonging to their friends. But every day had gotten better. He had accepted it more and more.

Only recently had Felicity turned a corner. Something about a photo album and Livi calling Laurel mommy had finally swayed her into acceptance. Oliver had tried to follow what she was saying but it was through a haze of tears and jumbled words. He was just relieved that she was okay, at first he had thought she was crying because she couldn’t handle it anymore but it was the very opposite.

They were doing much better now. Things were slowly returning to normal. Or at least what was their normal.

“We’re doing a lot better now,” Oliver finally answered. “It becomes more natural everyday.”

“Well I am very glad to hear that. You’ve been keeping more to yourselves more lately, and I’ve been a bit busy with your sister so, I wanted to be sure you guys were good,” his mother said, reaching forward to touch his arm.

“Thanks mom, we really are doing well,” Oliver touched her hand and smiled.

“Good…,” Moira sat back and fiddled with the strap on her purse. “So what are you guys planning for Halloween tonight?”

“I think Felicity was planning on us taking Livi to trick or treat in the neighborhood,” Oliver said with a shrug. He vaguely remembered something about a baby elephant costume that she’d found for Livi that was too cute. The details were foggy because they’d been in bed alone, since he’d finally gotten Livi to sleep in her own bed just minutes before, and things had gotten heated afterward.

“Why don’t you two go to the Halloween Party here at QC and your father and I can take her trick or treating,” Moira offered.

“I don’t know mom. This is Livi’s first Halloween that she can actually participate in and I think Felicity was a little excited about it,” Oliver at least thought she was excited about it. “Besides that party tends to get a bit wild as the night goes on. I’m not sure that’s something Felicity would want to go to.”

“When was the last time you guys went out on a date?” Moira asked.

Oliver frowned as he thought about it, he wasn’t exactly sure. He knew that the last time they were alone in the house was when he returned from Central City, that was mid September. The more he thought about it the more he realized they hadn’t had an actual date in a while.

“Before I went to Central City I believe,” he answered reluctantly. His mother nodded and shook her head.

“Too long, it won’t do. I’ll call Donna and set something up. You and Felicity need to go out,” Moira stood up, adjusting her purse at her shoulder.

“Mom that really isn’t-”

“Hush, don’t worry we can handle Livi for an evening and a day. You two deserve a break, it’s been at least a month and a half since that trip to Central. We are about to head into the holiday season,” she paused and he frowned. “A particularly hard holiday season. So you two need to regroup, spend some time as a couple before you get lost in a sea of grief as you go through the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without your friends,” Moira said, her voice softening with concern.

Oliver hadn’t thought much about the coming holidays. His mother gave him a sad all to knowing smile when his eyes met hers. The weight of what she said settled on him. His heart beat slow and heavy in his chest as he realized she was right. Not only would they be missing their best friends but there was Livi too. This would be the first year that Livi could actually enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas and it would be without her parents.

“I hadn’t thought about any of that,” he admitted as sadness creeped in, his voice feeling thick as his eyes prickled. He fought to keep his voice and breathing even.

“I know, sweet boy, all too well,” Moira nodded and stepped beside him. She touched his face and he leaned into her warm palm, closing his eyes. “You two are so busy just trying to survive. I want to make sure that you guys remember that you need to still take care of you.”

Oliver opened his eyes and took in his mother’s soft smile. He guessed you never were too old to get comfort from you mom. She patted his cheek and stepped back. “Call Felicity, let her know to take tomorrow and Wednesday off. Your father already knows you’ll be out of the office. Go do something fun. Leave the rest to me.”

“Okay,” Oliver stood and followed his mother to the door of his office. “Thanks mom.”

“No need to thank me. It’s the least I can do,” Moira waited for him to lean down so she could kiss his cheek. Oliver smiled. “Besides I needed the break from wedding planning. Have a good day son.”

Oliver chuckled and watched his mother leave. Once she was out of sight he pulled his phone from his pocket and shot a  text to Felicity.

 

O: My mom says we need to go out tonight.

 

Oliver moved to his desk, setting his phone on the corner. He fired up his computer and started to move his appointments for the next day. His phone vibrated and he looked at it.

 

F: I thought we were taking Livi trick or treating?

O: She says she’ll take Livi.

F: Um…

O: It’ll be fun. Take tomorrow off. We’ll have the night to ourselves.

 

While he waited for a response he checked his email. It took several minutes in which Oliver wondered what she was doing. He hoped he wasn’t interrupting an important meeting. Just as he started to look over another email, a report from Caitlin at Applied Sciences his phone once again vibrated.

 

F: Not sure I’m game for a party. I have lots to do tomorrow. We can talk about it when you get home. Don’t forget to pick up your costume on the way home.

 

Oliver frowned and tapped his fingers on his desk. He shot a quick email to Jill, Felicity’s secretary. She managed Felicity’s schedule, so he asked her to clear it, explaining that they needed a date night. It was sneaky, Felicity probably wouldn’t like it but the more he thought about getting a night to just be them, the more he wanted it. He hoped that Jill would do it.

 

O: I’ll pick it up but we’re going out tonight. Jill’s going to clear your schedule.

 

Oliver waited impatiently, clicking on the get mail icon repeatedly. One popped in at the same time his phone started to ring. He clicked on it as he picked up his phone. Jill responding with an “All clear :)” made him smile as he answered the call.

_“Queen that was dirty,”_ Felicity grumbled into the phone. _“I said we could talk about it when we got home.”_

“Well I really want to take you out.”

_“Why don’t we take her trick or treating then go out?”_ Felicity countered.

“No dice, you know then you’ll want to put her to bed, and then we’ll both be too exhausted to do anything,” Oliver answered standing up out of his chair.

_“Oliver, I picked out the cutest costume for her, and we sort of coordinate. I really want to do this.”_

Oliver could just imagine she was pouting on the other side of the phone. “Babe, I really need a night out with you.”

_“Maybe this weekend-”_

“It won’t happen,” Oliver sighed and stood turning to look out his window over the city. If he backed down he wasn’t sure when they’d get another chance. His mother was right, the holidays would surely cause more emotional upheaval. They needed to be refreshed going into it. “We need a date night. My mom’s cleared her schedule to take care of Livi for us. We should let her do it.”

Oliver heard Felicity sigh on the other end. He smiled. It was one of those sighs that said she was going to give in. He’d heard her use it with Livi, with her mother, even him on occasion.

_“Where are we going to go?”_ Felicity grumbled. She may be giving in but he knew she wasn’t going to act happy about it right away.

“QC’s annual Halloween Bash,” Oliver answered, watching as clouds started to darken outside. He hoped that the rain would hold off until after trick or treating. He didn’t like the idea of Livi being out after dark in the rain.

_“Fine but I’ll have to call and change our costumes. I’m going to bill it to you!”_ She grumbled into the phone. Oliver chuckled.

“Thanks babe,” he said cheerfully into the phone, toning it back as she gave a small growl on the other side of the line.

_“Yeah yeah. I’ll see you at home. I have some calls to make if I’m not working tomorrow,”_ Felicity answered sounding a bit perturbed.

“Hey Felicity?” Oliver called out before she could hang up.

_“Yes Oliver?”_

“I love you,” Oliver could see his ridiculous smile in the reflection of the window. He did nothing to wipe it away.

Felicity sighed, a soft little thing that warmed his heart. _“I love you too, Oliver. See you at home.”_

“See you then,” Oliver answered back and she hummed before hanging up.

Oliver tucked his phone into his pocket. He’d never taken Felicity to a party. He was excited at the opportunity.

  


~O~

 

Oliver pulled into the driveway at the house just after seven thirty that evening. Both his father’s town car and Quentin’s cruiser were at the curb. Seemed that both sets of grandparents wanted to spend Halloween with Livi. He grabbed the garment bag from the back seat as he headed into the house.

Livi came running, as fast as she was capable, into the entry hall with a squeal. “DADA!!”

Oliver dropped the garment bag in favor of scooping up his favorite little person. He hugged her close as she giggled and hugged him. “Hey baby girl. How was your day?” He breathed her in as he kissed her forehead. She rubbed her nose against his and smiled at him.

“She had a very fun day,” Donna offered leaning against the entry to the living room. “As far as I could gather from Felicity as she breezed in.”

“Where is Felicity?” Oliver asked as he headed toward the living room. Quentin and his parents waved as he entered. Livi started to squirm and straighten herself out, a sure sign she wanted down.

“Upstairs grumbling. We were just discussing where we wanted to take Miss Livi-poo first,” Donna followed after him.

“She’s grumbling?” Oliver asked lowering Livi to the ground where she headed for Moira and her baby doll. “Why is she grumbling?”

“Seems she’s okay with going to the party but not so okay with not going trick or treating with Livi,” Moira said handing the doll to Livi, only to have to kiss the baby’s head as Livi thrust it up into her face.

“But don’t worry about that Oliver, she’ll be fine,” Donna stated matter of factly, as she returned to her seat next to Quentin.

“'Iss nana… 'iss baby,” Livi demanded, pushing the baby further into his mother’s face.

“Livi, sweetie, be nice,” Oliver instructed in a firm voice, Livi looked at him and pouted, backing toward his father.

“Sounding like a dad more and more everyday,” Robert said, lifting Livi up onto his lap. “Don’t worry baby doll, grandpa will save you.”

The rest of the adults in the room chuckled. An odd feeling settled over him. His dad’s comment making him proud yet irritated. He had hoped he wouldn’t start sounding like his dad so soon.

“Thanks dad,” Oliver grumbled and shook his head. He started to head for the hallway. “I’ll just head up and check on her.”

“Okay, don’t forget we are still down here,” Moira said with a wink, more chuckles came from around the room.

“Yeah this house isn’t as big as the mansion, sound may carry,” Robert added and it sent everyone into another round of laughter.

Oliver felt himself blush as he grabbed his garment bag up off the floor. Shaking his head as he started toward the stairs. He couldn’t remember a time when his parents had openly heckled him. It was an interesting turn of events, one he didn’t know how to react to.

Before he could start up the stairs Livi was hot on his heels.

“Dada up,” she called after him.

“Livi sweetie come play,” his mother chimed in from the living room as she rose from the couch.

“It’s okay mom, I’ve got her,” Oliver picked Livi up and kissed her cheek. “Let’s go find Felicity.”

“Mama up,” Livi pointed up the stairs and smiled.

“Yep, let’s see if we can find her,” Oliver headed up the stairs two at a time. The motion making Livi bounce in his arms as he moved. Livi fell into a fit of giggles at each bounce making his heart fill with warmth and happiness. It almost made him regret their plan to go out. Well… his mother’s plan.

“Felicity?” he called as he entered their room, he dropped the garment bag on the end of the bed and adjusted Livi on his hip.

“In here,” Felicity called from their bathroom.

Oliver turned toward the bathroom and his breath caught in his throat. The sight before him stopped him dead in his tracks. All of a sudden leaving the house didn’t sound as appealing as it had earlier in the day. There were definitely other ideas that required staying in.

Felicity stood in a ridiculously tall pair of shiny black leather boots, they stopped just below the knee. From there black fishnet tights went up up up. The tights finally disappeared under the smallest excuse for a pair of black leather shorts he’d ever seen. It was topped off with a black leather corset and a jacket. Her blonde curls were pulled up into a tight ponytail behind her head, spilling over one shoulder as she leaned forward over the counter.

She was leaning as close to the mirror as she could, applying something to her eyes. The effect had her breasts swelling over the top of her corset. She finished and stood tall as she set the tube of mascara down and moved onto her lipstick.

“What…” Oliver started only to stop because the air wouldn’t move properly over his vocal cords, he coughed. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to ask anymore. His brain had short-circuited on the feast before him.

“Mama!” Livi called excitedly, startling Oliver, as she got sight of Felicity.

Felicity turned at the sound. Her eyes moved over them swiftly and she smiled. Livi started to squirm, making him aware that he’d locked up, his hand tighter her than she usually liked. Felicity ticked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. Oliver set Livi down on the floor and she quickly moved into the bathroom to be swooped up by Felicity.

“You okay over there?” Felicity inquired, her voice light and teasing.

She wasn’t grumbly like he’d expected, no she seemed happy.  No she actually looked proud of herself as she smirked at him. He coughed again and he had to resist the urge to go to her and wipe it off her face.

“I’m… uh,” Oliver tried again on to stop yet again and swallow, trying to moisten his all too dry throat. Damn woman! He thought as he willed his body to not act like he was a sex crazed teenager, especially with Livi in the same room. He closed his eyes for a brief second and collected himself before opening them again. In that tiny amount of time Felicity had stepped to the doorway, Livi propped on her hip. A second later he caught the smell of his favorite perfume. The one she wore and set him on fire. The added smell of leather did not help his control. He cleared his throat, finally collecting a single thought together, “Is that a costume or lingerie?”

“Oh dear Oliver, this is my costume,” Felicity answered overly sweetly. “And now, I’ll go get Livi dressed in hers so that they can go trick or treating without us.”

There was the pout almost grumble he’d been expecting when he came upstairs.

“We could probably go to at least a couple houses if you really wanted to,” Oliver offered but Felicity was already shaking her head.

“It’s okay Oliver, I mean at first I was kind of bummed, a little irritated that you went behind my back to Jill, but…” she sighed and leaned in to touch noses with Livi. Livi squealed and tried to do it back, it was unsuccessful but Felicity laughed. “Then I put on this costume and well… it’s a lot better than going as a butterfly. I also agree with your mom. We need some alone time, to go just be a couple and have fun. A party at QC should work beautifully.”

Of course, she was excited about going out now, when he very much now wanted to stay in. Oh he’d willingly let his mother still take Livi but he didn’t want to go anywhere. Felicity would be the death of him. Oliver would die by her hands and he’d go willingly. Never imagined she would feel comfortable in something like that. Sure he imagined her in similar or less things but never had he thought she really would.

“Who are you supposed to be?” He asked once he’d pulled himself together enough to turn away and ignore her standing there only half dressed. He reminded himself that both sets of parents were downstairs, and Livi was even in the same room.

“Well I talked to Derek at the costume place, and he said that superheroes were all the rage this year. I’m the Black Canary, it was the only one he had left that was sexy enough for an adult party. So I tried it on and hey… look at how well it fits,” Felicity did a very unnecessary twirl, getting giggles from Livi as he unzipped his own garment bag. He looked up from the green leather he found to catch her wink. She looked very satisfied with herself.

“I imagine Derek just loved that,” Oliver grumbled under his breath as he looked down at the costume she’d picked for him. He’d hoped for something black, or maybe blue, Super Man wore blue right? Instead he was confused by the green that he saw. “Who am I supposed to be?”

“The Green Arrow of course, they’re a couple. It’s perfect don’t you think,” Felicity asked as she moved to his side, she kissed his cheek, letting Livi lean in too. “It’s a leather jacket and pants set. Oh…” she turned around and moved swiftly toward the closet. She set Livi down and pulled out a gray zippered bag. It was long and Oliver eyed her warily. “There’s another part, I grabbed it on my way to pick up Livi.”

Please don’t let it be some kind of a wizard’s staff or something. She handed it to him and he raised an eyebrow. Maybe this was her way of getting even with him for the last minute change of plans.

“Just open it,” Felicity instructed with a shake of her head. Livi climbed up onto their bed and started hopping around. “Come here Livi we need to go get in your costume.”

He unzipped it and looked inside. A bow sat in the case. He was going as Robin Hood. “So the green arrow is like Robin Hood?”

“No,” Felicity chuckled. “He’s better. Now get dressed.”

Oliver shook his head and decided he’d better comply. Even if just looking at her made him dread the tight green leather pants he was going to have to wear. Felicity moved away, heading for their bedroom door. He watched the way the boots accentuated her legs as she walked. He was suddenly very glad they wouldn’t have to work in the morning.

Oliver took little time shucking off his suit and tie. He slipped on the leather pants and was surprised to feel how soft and supple they were. Definitely better than the cheap leather costumes he’d worn once or twice during his and Tommy’s college years. It didn’t pull or bunch as he’d expected. He found a clean black tee and slipped it on before pulling the leather jacket on.

Again the leather was comfortable. He recalled Felicity’s threat to bill him for the costume change. Oliver chuckled as he went looking for a pair of black trainers in his closet. He wasn’t sure what kind of shoe he should wear with a green leather suit, so he compromised for something he knew would be comfortable and disappear.

Idly he wondered what their original costumes were going to be. He tied his shoes and went in search of Felicity. He heard her soft voice from Livi’s room so turned in that direction.

Oliver zipped the jacket as he moved into her room. Felicity sat reading to Livi in the rocking chair, he recognized the book right off as one of Felicity’s favorite, Babar. It was an apt choice considering Livi was dressed as an adorable little elephant. Her suit was soft gray and the truck was part of the hood, big ears stood on either side of her head.

“Well isn’t she just the cutest girl ever?” Oliver said as he leaned against the doorjamb. Felicity looked up and it was her turn to inspect him. She smiled wider before looking away from him concentrating her look back on Livi.

“She is. The best ever!” Felicity tapped Livi’s nose and earned a sweet little giggle of ‘mama’.

“So you mentioned going as a butterfly, and us coordinating… Exactly what was I supposed to be before the super hero upgrade?” Oliver asked, watching as Felicity closed the book and set it down on the floor. Livi stood up on her lap holding Felicity’s hands.

“Well I was going as a butterfly and I’d had picked out a caterpillar for you,” Felicity answered not looking away from Livi as she began to rock. Giving into one of Livi’s favorite things to do in the rocking chair.

“Mo’e!” Livi squealed giving a little push. Both Oliver and Felicity smiled at her antics.

“A caterpillar?” Oliver asked. Somehow he  couldn’t see them making that kind of a costume.

“Yep, green and red. You would have looked adorable,” Felicity winked at him before pulling Livi close and standing up.

“ I would not have agreed to go as a caterpillar,” Oliver stated flatly.

“Yes, you would have,” Felicity stated easily.

“No.”

“You would do anything for Livi,” she responded one eyebrow raising as if challenging him to say one more time he wouldn’t. But she had him. He may have thought it was ridiculous but when it came to Livi and doing what was right for her, he would have done it. “But that’s a mute point considering we’ve gotten quite the upgrade,” she said as she motioned over his body with her free hand.

“You think?” Felicity nodded and he grinned. “Well, I would have to see the butterfly costume to make an actual decision, but I am pretty sure your upgrade is much better as well,” Oliver admitted, letting his eyes roam again. “You sure you don’t feel too exposed?”

He knew that Felicity could make her own decisions. It was one of the things that Oliver loved about her. But he didn’t want to take her out if she didn’t really want to go.

“Nope, I feel very comfortable,” Felicity answered as she moved in close to him. Even with her heels she barely came to his nose. He leaned toward her and watched as she let out a breath, her eyes darting down to his lips. To tease her he quickly licked his bottom lip, and noticed the way her eyes dilated. “If you say so,” he said, stepping to the side to let her out of the room. “Should we head out then?”

“Definitely,” Felicity breathed, blinking and licking her lower lip before moving past him into the hallway. She had plenty of room but still brushed her body against him as she moved through the doorway and into the hall.

Oh yes, he thought. Tonight would be a lot of fun.

 

~O~

 

On the ride over to QC, they grabbed a couple burgers in the town car. Oliver laughed as Felicity ordered a Deluxe Big Belly Buster Burger and a large chocolate milkshake and fries.

“It’s to combat all the alcohol I’m about to have at that party,” Felicity said with a shrug as she shoved three french fries in her mouth. Closing her eyes to hum.

“You’ll find no judgement here.” After all he’d ordered one for himself too, only with a vanilla milkshake. He couldn’t wait for them to get to the party and let loose. His mother was accurate, they needed this.

They were still a new couple, just testing the waters. Sure it helped that the had known each other for a while. But being newly together was hard enough without adding in a child. They’d been on a warpspeed kind of ride ever since.

They’d missed out on all the fun rituals of newly dating. Going out, letting loose and having regrets in the morning. They deserved to just forget about being Livi’s godparents and guardians for the evening. Be normal.

Once they got to QC Oliver made Felicity hand over her phone, they left both of them with his driver.

“We are here to have fun. My parents are perfectly capable of taking care of Livi for twenty four hours,” Oliver had said as he pulled her close, she looked longingly after the town car as it pulled away.

“I know, but I just can’t help but feel a little guilty Oliver, they trusted her to us,” Felicity looked up at him, her eyes damp. “Not your parents, or mine.”

He leaned in close, rubbing his nose along hers, breathing her in. “She’ll be okay. As for your guilt, I believe Laurel secretly wanted us to get together for years,” Oliver smiled as she chuckled. “So stop feeling guilty.”

“Okay,” she sighed, giving a small nod of her head.

“I mean it, at least for tonight,” Oliver said pulling back so he could see her eyes. She rolled them before giving another nod.

“You are starting to sound like my mother Oliver,” Felicity said leaning forward to kiss the corner of his mouth.

Oliver shifted, kissing her soundly, and pulled her body against his. He loved the way she melted into the kiss, pressing every lovely inch of her body as close to his as she could. He hummed against her lips, longing to take it further but wanting to give her a fun evening out just as much.

“Let’s go on inside and have some,” Oliver whispered and Felicity nodded. He let her go slowly, his hands sliding over the slick black leather of her corset to her hips. Holding onto her as long as possible.

“Sounds good to me,” she kissed him quickly and turned pulling Oliver along into the building.

An hour later they were well into letting their hair down. Oliver took a break at a nearby table as Felicity who was well on her way into a good buzz, moved on the dance floor with Caitlin Snow. They tried to keep each other upright, more than once they almost fell over in a fit of laughter. It made him smile to see her having so much fun.

Oliver leaned against a table near by, his own body feeling heavy from the alcohol and enjoyed watching the way Felicity’s body moved in her costume. It really did leave very little to the imagination, but she was covered more than sixty percent of the rest of the female and male population at the party. He ached to take her home and remove it.

Barry returned to the table carrying two beers under his arms and two glasses of a pink and green layered something.

“It is crazy up there. People are starting to reach their limits I think, though the barkeeps aren’t keeping track of people anymore,” Barry shook his head and placed everything on the table. “It’s also possible that they are drunk themselves.”

“They never keep track at this point, there will be a long line of cabs and cars out there ready to take people home. No one will drive home drunk,” Oliver stated taking the beer from Barry as he offered it to him. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem,” Barry sipped from his own as they watched the girls.

At first when they ran into Barry and Caitlin Oliver didn’t know how to act. Barry and Felicity had been an item but she acted as if he was just a good friend. Barry was quiet and reserved, where Caitlin, who Oliver had been privileged to get know over the last year, was funny and laid back. It was interesting to see her outside of the work setting.

But he didn’t know Barry well, but he seemed distracted now. Oliver caught him turning to look at him multiple times. It was distracting and making him feel uneasy.

“What’s got your brain thinking so hard? I swear you geeks and your loud thinking,” Oliver stated with a shake of his head. He thought of how Felicity would do something similar, you could almost hear her thinking sometimes.

“I uh… I’m not,” Barry stated through a slurred stutter. Oliver watched as his skin became pink before puffing up his chest and standing taller. Oliver raised his eyebrow. This kid was not about to give him the “hurt her I’ll kill you” talk, was he?

“If you’re thinking you should say something along the lines of, you’ll hurt me or something if I hurt her you can-”

“God no… I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Felicity would kill me,” Barry sat his beer down on the table and turned toward Oliver. “She’s more than capable of taking care of herself. Hell she can outwit her way out of anything she’s uncomfortable with. She would be offended if I tried to step in as some hero to threaten you. I kind of value my life.”

Oliver laughed, relieved that he’d been wrong. It was easy to see why Felicity had stuck it out with Barry for so long, and why they were still good friends. He cared for her, Oliver was glad she could have a friend like that.

“You’re right. She’d probably rip you a new one, and being on the receiving end of her angry I can tell you, it’s not something you want,” Oliver said and Barry smiled.

“I don’t plan to ever be on the receiving end of that,” Barry answered and turned back to watch the girls. There was an upbeat song on that had them bouncing a little.

Oliver watched for a moment before turning back to Barry. His curiosity on what could have been on his mind still piqued. “If you weren’t going to go all big brother on me, then what was it you were thinking about?”

Barry chuckled, “I was just thinking about how good the two of you are together. Felicity often is very into work, even when we were together she focused on that. I mean sure, Laurel and Livi helped offset some of that but it was always about work. We stayed in a lot instead of going places because we are both homebodies. It’s good to see you getting her out of her shell. I don’t think she would have come to a party like this on her own. I know I wouldn’t have.”

“Everyone needs an opposite I guess, someone who gives our weaknesses a boost. She’s the brains of our pairing,” Oliver said watching as she twirled and stopped, eyes meeting his. His stomach twisted with the way her eyes shifted over him and she bit her lip.

“Caitlin is the brains and the fun. I think I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Barry said softly, drawing Oliver’s attention away from Felicity.

“Really? You’ve only been together for what a couple months?”

“Maybe,” Barry said with a shrug. “But I’ve always been in love with her; ever since we were teenagers. Besides, life is short, right? Why should we let it pass us by if you know you’re happy and with the one you’d never want to be without?”

Oliver looked back toward Felicity. She’d turned away, her hands moved through the air as she talked animatedly to Caitlin. He let Barry’s words settle in his mind. If anyone knew how short life was it was them. He was surer now than ever before that Felicity was the only woman for him, but marriage?

They were still so new, only together for four months, all of which were during the most emotional times of their lives. They were navigating being parents to their best friends little girl, working their asses off at work, and trying to have a relationship. But they were doing it, they were stronger together. The idea of marriage did make him smile; when the time was right.

Barry looked away and smiled broadly. “Hey!”

Caitlin and Felicity returned to the table. Caitlin caught on Barry’s arm and kissed him with a giggled. “Hey, yourself!”

Felicity leaned in and kissed Oliver’s cheek as he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. “How’s it going?” She whispered, looking between him and Barry.

“Good, he’s a great guy. I can see why you guys are best friends,” Oliver answered watching as Barry and Caitlin whispered. “We should try to double date with them sometime.”

“That could be fun. Caitlin said the same thing earlier. We should do it, but…” Felicity leaned against him, sliding her nose along his jaw as she came close to his ear. “That’s for later. I’m kind of ready to start the rest of our evening.”

Oliver swallowed and closed his eyes as she tugged on his earlobe with her teeth to tease him. His body responded instantly as the leather pants became even tighter. Felicity took that moment to press against him, aggravating the situation. He heard her breath hitch. He was definitely ready to head home.

He turned toward the other couple, “It’s been fun guys, but I think we are going to head home.”

“We were thinking about doing the same,” Caitlin answered turning and leaning back against Barry. “You guys were super cute together, comic book heroes are all the rage!”

“Though it’s lost on them, they don’t read comic books,” Barry answered with a shake of his head. “Such sad childhoods you must have had.”

“Shut up Barry,” Felicity smirked and Barry laughed hard as Caitlin slapped him. “Anyways, we’re going to head out. Caitlin call me and we’ll plan a dinner.”

“Sounds good,” Caitlin answered back.

Oliver waved and started to tug Felicity toward the front of the building. “Bye guys.”

They waited not so patiently for their driver to come with the town car. Oliver was a little annoyed that they hadn’t just driven themselves, although then one of them wouldn’t have been able to drink. They would have to behave themselves in the car.

Felicity was on her phone the moment they pulled away from the curb. He could hear his mother over the phone saying that Livi was just the cutest ever, she was already in bed. Told Felicity not to worry. He smiled and looked out the window.

Oliver rubbed his thigh anxious to get home. The city past by, people dressed in costumes as they walked from one club or bar to another. Everyone just wanting to have a good time and enjoy their friends. The city gave way to the quiet suburb where they lived now. The houses mostly dark as most people were out in the city or tucking in for the evening.

They pulled into the drive and he thanked the driver. “Goodnight Mr. Queen, Miss Smoak.”

“Goodnight Cole, go out, have some fun with someone,” Felicity said as Oliver helped her out of the car.

“I’ll try Miss Smoak,” Cole said with a laugh.

“He’s nice,” Felicity said as they made their way up the walk to the house.

“Yep, pretty nice,” Oliver was fixated on the door, pulling his keys from the pocket of the leather jacket. “Glad we’re home early enough he could still go out and enjoy himself.”

“I’m sure you’re glad we are home early for multiple reasons, but I doubt they are so our driver can go out and enjoy himself,” Felicity teased as she moved between him and the door.

“Hmm, you may be right about that,” he murmured as he pushed her against the door. “I’m a bit more interested in figuring out how that corset comes off.”

Oliver slid his hands down her sides, gripping her hips and pulling her forward as he leaned in to kiss her. Felicity’s arms wound around his neck as she opened her mouth. Oliver got distracted with opening the door and let his hands move under the edge of her shorts, then lower to wrap around the back of her thighs to lift her up against him. She wrapped her legs around him and rocked against him. He groaned into her mouth at the same time she gave a squeak and tightened her grip on his shoulders.

“Oliver the door,” she gasped breathlessly against his lips before moving to kiss along his jaw.

He shifted to turn the key in the lock and gave it a push. Oliver kicked the door behind him to close it as they moved into the entry landing and headed for the stairs. He stumbled over the rug and fell forward as Felicity screamed.

It turned into a laugh as he chuckled as he caught himself on the banister. He took two steps up, distracted by Felicity’s tongue as she ran it along the seam of his lips, licking his mole before biting his chin. His legs nearly giving out as need spiked through his body.

“Felicity, I’m trying not to kill us,” he chuckled choosing to sit her down on the steps. He held himself up over her. He leaned in and pressed a hard kiss to her lips and she tugged him down to his knees between her thighs. Felicity pulled back from the kiss to lean back against the stairs.

“God do you know how hot you look in all that leather?” She groaned as she moved to unzip his jacket. She ran her hands over his chest and down setting him on fire.

“Not as amazing as you look in it,” Oliver breathed, moving to kiss her again as her hands reached his belt.

Their kiss was heated and rushed as their hands made passes over clothing, then under it as it disappeared. They didn’t make it out of everything or even made it up the stairs, but it didn’t matter. Because it was a perfectly normal young couple thing to do, which had been the whole point of the night.

 

~O~

 

November passed in a blur.

Both Oliver and Felicity were busy with work. Felicity had taken on another new company. Creating their cyber security system had her working long days, sometimes bringing it home with her as she tried to have them up and running before Christmas. A few times a week when Oliver worked late as well he knew she picked up Livi and took her to work with her.

Oliver realized it had a lot to do with being in the house alone. He tried hard to be home on time after he figured it out. But they were in the middle of acquiring a new project for the military through Applied Sciences, which had them all working long hours.

Despite them being too busy to think about what was coming anxiety set in and Felicity fretted about Thanksgiving dinner. Oliver helped get Moira and Donna involved, which was easy. Everyone knew how hard these first holidays would be. His parents canceled their usual business dinner for that night in favor of joining theirs.

They woke up the morning of Thanksgiving to a screaming Livi with a fever. It was the first time either had to deal with it. They rushed her to the hospital only to be sent home because they deemed it was just from teething. Baby ibuprofen brought her fever down but didn’t decrease Felicity’s worries.

“Should we cancel dinner?” she asked as she rocked a sleeping Livi in her room.

“I don’t think so. She’s not sick,” Oliver sat on the floor leaning against the crib, watching as Felicity frowned at him. “Well she isn’t. Felicity, it will be okay. Everyone is bringing the food, we don’t have to do anything but supply the venue, dishes, and booze.”

“I don’t know if I can do this today,” Felicity admitted in a hushed breath.

“Not doing it won’t make it go away,” he stated, watching her nod. “Honestly, I would rather people be here than for us to go through this alone.”

“Do you think they would approve of how we are raising her?” Felicity asked, her eyes lighting on him for only a moment before flitting away. “Wait don’t answer that, I know they would be fine. I just….”

“Felicity, it’s okay to doubt.”

“Doubting makes me feel guilty… Jeez, everything lately makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty because I’m alive to love on Livi and Laurel isn’t. I feel guilty when I don’t get to her the moment she calls me because I should always be there. I feel so much guilt over everything,” Felicity’s voice broke at the end as she sucked in a watery breath.

Oliver slid across the floor to sit at her feet, and she stopped rocking. He rested his chin against her knee and took her hand, kissing her fingers. He knew how she felt, it was the same things that ran through his mind daily.

“I feel the guilt too you know. Maybe not as all consuming as you do sometimes, but it’s always there. It colors every decision I make,” he started as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, massaging the joints. He tried to form what he wanted to say in his mind before he continued. “But Felicity I think they wouldn’t want us to feel guilt over any of it. In light of it being Thanksgiving, I think that maybe we should try to be grateful-”

Felicity tried to pull away instantly and he regretted using that choice of wording. “God Oliver I’m not ungrateful!”

“That’s not what I meant,” Oliver squeezed her fingers, not letting her pull away. “I meant maybe we should be grateful they thought ahead. I know I’m not smart enough to do something like that without being instructed by my parents or lawyer. We need to stop feeling guilty over things we had no control over.”

“I don’t know if that’s any better,” she said raising an eyebrow at him. Oliver shook his head and smiled. “But I think I know what you mean. I wish I could say that I can do it. I will try.”

“I will try too, we can help each other,” Oliver kissed her knuckles and leaned back as Felicity started to rock Livi. “We can lean on our families for support too. That’s why they’re coming, so we don’t have to be alone with the weight of it.”

“You’re right, thank you, Oliver.”

“Don’t thank me, I’m sure there will be many tears today.”

“Tears are fine, hell I know I’ve shed my fair share,” Felicity chuckled, stopping when Livi shifted on her chest. A soft little sigh left the little one as she settled and Felicity relaxed. “Thank you for sticking by my side Oliver. It means the world to me.”

“I wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else. I love you, Felicity.”

“I love you too Oliver,” she leaned forward as he stood up, leaning down to press a soft light kiss to her lips.

“I’m going to head downstairs to set up the dining room. People will be here soon, rest. I’ll see that everything gets taken care of,” Oliver said as he stretched.

“Okay, I’ll come down when she wakes up,” Felicity said as she rested her head against the back of the rocker, rubbing her hand slowly over Livi’s back.

Oliver was right, the night was filled with tears. Some sad, most happy as they reminisced about Laurel, Sara, and Tommy. Pictures and food were shared around the table well past eleven, and long after Livi fell asleep. They took turns loving on her, sharing the cuddles as they worked on getting through one of the hardest days since the accident.

After everyone had left Oliver wandered down the hall, looking at all the photographs. They’d changed a lot of them, but still there were still plenty of them with Tommy, Laurel and Sara. It was hard to look at them too often. But something had happened during dinner. A calm had settled over him, a sort of peace. He was thankful to have had the time he’d had with Tommy as his best friend. He was happy that Tommy had found his other half in Laurel, and ultimately introducing him to Felicity who he knew for sure was his other half.

He’d thought the holiday would be hard, it was, and yet it was also easier than he expected. Them missing had left an emptiness but it didn’t consume him. It let him feeling hopeful that they could get through all of this.

 

~O~

 

_“What are we going to get her for Christmas Oliver?”_ Felicity asked him over the phone while he wandered into Felicity’s favorite bakery.

He was there to pick up an order of cupcakes that she had placed. She had completed work on the company’s security system that had been plaguing her since just after Halloween. So she was celebrating with her favorite treat.

“What did you have in mind?” Oliver asked as he slid his card across the counter to the lady behind it. She smiled warmly at him, used to seeing him at least a couple times a month. Felicity loved her cupcakes.

“Thank you for your business Mr. Queen,” Sue handed him back his card and slid the pink paper bag toward him. He mouthed ‘thank you too’ as he slipped his card back into his wallet and took the bag of confections with him.

_“I hadn’t thought about it really. Do we get her what she needs? Toys? I’m so lost, for her first year I just got Laurel a big stuffed bear,”_ Felicity replied, he could hear Livi in the background yelling no.

He dodged a couple as he walked back toward his car. “We could go get one of those sale ads for Toys R Us, see what they have?”

Felicity grumbled something about commercialism as he walked past an antique shop, a vintage dress in the window caught his eye. He stopped to look. “It was just a suggestion, Felicity.”

_“I know I know… who knew gifts would be so hard?”_ Felicity groaned across the line. He smiled and opened the door to the shop and stepped inside out of the chill. _“Nevermind_ it _, for now, we can talk about it when you get home. Maybe we could look online. I’m sure we can find something.”_

“I'm sure we'll find something that is perfect. I shouldn’t be too much longer, we can order in some Thai food if you want,” Oliver said as he wandered over toward the red dress and looked at the size marked on the card. It would be perfect as a gift for Felicity.

_“Do you want y_ our _usual?”_ She asked, and in the next second was telling Livi not to climb on the stool. Oliver chuckled at the image it created, he’d told her the same thing five times just that morning.

“The usual is fine, I’ll be home soon. I love you, Felicity,” he said and she returned it in a rush to hang up and go take Livi off the stool she insisted she wanted to climb.

“Can I help you son?”

Oliver turned at the old man’s voice as he tucked his phone into his pocket. “Yeah how much for this dress?”

“It’s a relic from a bygone era, you wouldn’t want that,” the old man said shaking his head as he leaned on his cane.

“My girlfriend would love it,” Oliver said turning to look at the way the pearls caught in the light. It was definitely something Felicity would love, simple and elegant. He’d seen the way she fawned over a similar pink dress she owned.

“Hmm… an old soul then. My wife was that way. Loved the old thing…. I’ll sell it for seventy-five, not a penny less.”

“I’ll take it,” Oliver said and helped the old man pull it down out of the display. They carried it to the back of the store and he wandered around while the old man’s daughter wrapped up the dress.

A jewelry case caught his eye and he stopped to look inside. It held a variety of what his mother would call costume jewelry, fine pieces from a time long before him. A pair of ruby earrings stood out and was about to ask when a sparkle to the right drew his attention.

“Sir,” Oliver called and waited patiently as the old man approached behind the cabinet.

“Yes, young man?”

“Can I look at this one right here?” Oliver pointed at the delicate ring tucked in the black velvet box.

“Sure,” the old man said, reaching into his pocket for a ring of small keys. “But you do realize this is an engagement ring?”

“I know,” Oliver said, his heart hammering in his chest as the old man pulled it out of the case. The diamond catching the light and sparkling brightly as the old man handed it to him. “I’ll take it as well.”

  



	21. Felicity

Felicity was relieved when December arrived. Not that she had hated November but it had been a rough month for her. She missed Laurel’s crazy holiday planning talks, which they’d often held with copious amounts of wine shared between them. Instead, Felicity had to deal with a teething toddler. Livi had to start working on her two-year molars, even though she was only eighteen months. It made sleep nonexistent, keeping Felicity in a state of exhaustion she didn’t enjoy. 

Less enjoyable was the daily reminder that Christmas was coming. She loved Oliver’s enthusiasm, she really did but it was bordering on annoying. Planning Christmas was not something she was prepared for, it never had been. It would be yet another holiday that would leave three seats empty at their table. 

Other than Livi waking with a fever; Thanksgiving hadn’t been horrible. Having everyone over to celebrate had helped ease the feeling of loss. She would be forever grateful that everyone had come and they were able to share happy memories of Tommy, Laurel, and Sara. They were all thankful to have Livi to love on.

Thanksgiving was easy, compared to Christmas! With Thanksgiving they only had to worry about food. She made biscuits, everyone brought a dish so that solved that. But Christmas meant gift buying.

Felicity was fresh out of ideas. She had no clue what to get Oliver, who could literally buy whatever he wanted, then there was Livi. For her first Christmas Felicity had gotten her a stuffed elephant. Which sat virtually untouched in Livi's crib. She had no clue where to start now that Livi was a toddler. 

“Oliver, I have looked through this magazine five times now. I’m no closer to figuring out what to get Livi for Christmas than I was before you brought this monstrosity home. This is ridiculous,” Felicity grumbled closing the magazine and pushing it away from her across the island. She’d spent the last half hour while he cooked dinner looking through it. She glared at the back of his head as he chuckled, stirring some kind of sauce in a pan. “And you… well you are no help whatsoever! You circled thirty different items! Thirty!! There is no way she needs that many things.”

“They were just suggestions Felicity,” Oliver said as he turned half toward her his arm resting between the stove and Livi. She sat on the counter pretending to stir something in a bowl with a wooden spoon. 

“Dada, ‘aste!” Livi demanded making Felicity smile as Oliver turned back toward her. She bit her lip as she watched Livi lift the spoon, holding it out toward Oliver. He pretended to take a bite. His teeth pulling on the spoon before releasing it, drawing a giggle from Livi. 

“Yummy Livi, it tastes very good,” Oliver praised her, rubbing his stomach. 

Livi tipped the spoon into the bowl and held it out in Felicity’s direction, “Mama?”

Felicity smiled, sighing as she got off the stool and moved closer. She loved this stage, Livi’s imaginative play was so much fun. She reminded her so much of Sara as she was growing up. Sometimes she even had the same wicked glint to her eye. 

Once around the island, she pretended to take a bite from the spoon, making an appreciative hum making Livi smile. “That’s really good Livi, nice job baby!”

Oliver returned to tending to the food on the stove and Felicity leaned in close to him. She loved the warmth that radiated off of him all the time, his movement causing him to brush against her. She let herself be distracted for a moment before remembering what they were talking about.

“Well thank you for the suggestions but, I think we need to narrow the field a bit. She doesn’t need a pink jeep power wheel,” Felicity said remembering one of the items he’d circled three times, as if to make sure that she saw it. “Really Oliver? A power wheel?”

“Every girl needs a pink jeep power wheel,” Oliver scoffed then leaned in toward Livi, “You need one don’t you baby girl?” He kissed her on the nose before picking her up off the counter.  

“Not at a year and a half,” Felicity objected shaking her head as she leaned back against the island. Livi was nuzzling her nose against Oliver’s causing warmth to spread through Felicity’s chest. 

Oliver leaned in close to Livi, and whispered conspiratorially, just loud enough for Felicity to hear, “Mama, is no fun huh, Livi? That’s okay I’ll work on her.”

“Oliver, that is not fair,” she swatted at his shoulder making him laugh.

“Oh come on Felicity,” he caught her around the waist pulling her close, Livi between them. He stole a kiss that she returned easily, she leaned into him as much as she could, humming against his lips before he pulled back. “It’s the first Christmas we get to dote on her, she won’t remember how many gifts we get her, so we can go hog wild and not have to worry about spoiling her.”

“I’m not worried about spoiling her,” Felicity answered, taking Livi as she reached for her. Livi rested her head on Felicity’s shoulder, the gesture never failed to make her heart melt. Livi’s small hand moved to Felicity’s cheek, rubbing back and forth.

“Yes you are,” Oliver replied with a shake of his head, turning back to the stove to tend to the food. 

They had this discussion just the day before, and she had admitted then that she was worried about it. Oliver had explained that you couldn’t spoil them by giving them gifts. It was how you raised them. Felicity knew that on a fundamental level but she still worried that it would set a bad example. Maybe Livi would see the amount of gifts as barometer for how much they loved her, or how little if there were less gifts. Which so often happened these days with kids. But maybe he was right, that she was still too little for those kinds of things to matter too much.

“Okay maybe just a little, and maybe you’re right. But I still say thirty things is too much,” Felicity admitted, she rubbed her hand over Livi’s back. “So maybe we could agree to just a few things. But I’m putting my foot down, our daughter doesn’t need a pink power wheel. I am not ready to deal with that just yet,” Felicity shivered at the thought. It was enough for her that Livi had taken to running everywhere and insisting on walking up and down the stairs. “No, definitely not, but maybe we could get her a toy kitchen. She really likes to play pretend… Oh and some stuff for her dolls like a new stroller or her own high- Oliver, are you okay?”

Felicity paused as she became aware that Oliver was letting her just ramble on. Something she hadn’t done in so long. But it was odd how still Oliver had become. His hand held tightly to the spoon he was holding, paused in the pan on the stove. 

“Oliver?” She called, shifting Livi so that she could reach out and touch his shoulder. Oliver jolted, dropping the spoon into the pan with a splatter. Felicity was stunned by his reaction, her hand caught in midair as he turned toward her.

“Sorry I… You said ‘our daughter’,” Oliver faltered, eyes searching hers.

Oliver’s words filled the air between them, making it feel heavy. Had she actually said that out loud? How many times over the last month had she thought it to herself? Every time she had been met with an overwhelming sense of shame at the thought. Livi wasn’t her daughter, she was Laurel’s. So she’d kept it to herself and buried deep the guilt. Only speaking of it to her therapist.

The all too familiar guilt washed over her as she closed her eyes. She focused on her breathing and refused to let the guilt swamp her again. She recalled what her therapist had said to her.

_ “You have nothing to feel guilty about, Laurel and Tommy chose you to take care of Livi, you didn’t ask for the job. They wanted people who would love her just as much as they did. So they  _ **_chose_ ** _ you. It’s natural to start to feel like she’s yours. It’s natural for her to bond with you and Oliver, and you to her. Try to remember that none of it would work if it wasn’t meant to. Don’t let the guilt have control over you.” _

Felicity breathed out and little by little the panic and guilt lifted. Laurel wouldn’t want her to be eaten up by this pain anymore. They’d made the decision because they trusted her and Oliver to love Livi just as they would. Slowly she was learning to let go of the guilt. Five months of letting it rule her was long enough.

She knew that she’d still have bad days, ones where the pain would overwhelm her but not today, and not for accepting Livi as her own. It’s what Laurel would have wanted. It was time for her to embrace it.

“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice filtered through to her, pulling her out of her thoughts. She opened her damp eyes and met Oliver’s concerned gaze. His warm hand slid along her jaw as he moved closer. “Are you okay?”

Felicity hugged Livi to her and nodded, leaning into his hand with a sigh. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again, studying her face and she gave a small chuckle and nodded.

“I really am,” Felicity answered trying to reassure him. He nodded and moved his hand away from her, down over her shoulder and away. “It just caught me off guard that I’d said it out loud.”

“Me too,” Oliver admitted, taking Livi from her and stepping toward the high chair. “I thought for sure we would need to call the therapist.”

Felicity frowned, she felt sad that she had worried him so much. Admittedly she hadn’t taken Livi calling her mama very well, it made her over anxious and prone to frustration. Sometimes she had cried because she just didn’t know how to handle it. She hadn’t realized until just then how much it must have troubled Oliver.

“I’m sorry Oliver,” Felicity apologized, he looked over his shoulder as he buckled Livi into her seat. A frown creased his brow.

“I hope you aren’t apologizing for calling her our daughter, because I’ve kind of grown to accept that she is. So don’t apologize for that,” Oliver said as he moved back around the island to retrieve plates from the cupboard.

“No, I’m glad we are both on the same wavelength there. No, I’m apologizing for not covering my pain better, I never meant to cause you to worry over me,” Felicity answered as she busied herself with pulling out silverware and setting it on the island top. Oliver’s arms wrapped around her from behind, she felt him press a kiss to the back of her head as he pulled her in tightly against him. 

“Felicity, listen to me very carefully, I’m only going to say this once, and I want you to remember it forever from here on forward. You are never to apologize for being human,” Oliver’s voice was soft yet firm and confident. Felicity turned in his arms so she could see his face. “Never be sorry for feeling sad or lost, and never hide it from me. If I don’t know I can’t help and that makes me more worried. We can’t survive this on our own, we need to do it together. That only works if both parties share what’s going on.”

Felicity nodded, leaning forward as she hugged him close. Oliver squeezed her tight, almost painfully, his chin pressing into the crown of her head. She breathed in his now familiar scent and was so relieved to have him as a partner in this. She tipped her head up as his grip lessened and kisses his jaw.

“I love you, I’ll remember it. I promise,” she stated confidently, feeling that she could do it now.

“Good,” Oliver kissed her briefly before pulling back, his hands on her hips. “Because it’s time to feed you and our daughter.”

Felicity melted at the warm bright smile on Oliver’s face at a simple statement.

 

~F~

 

Felicity pulled the side zipper up on the emerald green dress that she had picked out for Thea and Roy’s wedding. She was sure to freeze in the strapless thing but it was lovely and played well with the mint green touches that Thea had picked for her wedding. Livi was at her feet dancing in front of the mirror in a white dress that was more tutu than anything, a mint green sash with bow in the back. She smiled up at Felicity as she leaned into the mirror, her hands on the glass.

“You look so pretty baby doll,” Felicity said as she knelt down next to Livi. She played with the little curls in the ends of Livi’s hair.

“Pity doll,” Livi said with a giggle, looking back at herself in the mirror. Felicity leaned in and kissed Livi’s cheek, resulting in the little girl turning and throwing herself into Felicity’s arms. Felicity hugged her close as she stood up. 

“It’s almost time to go find dada,” Felicity said as she carried Livi into the bathroom, sitting her on the counter. “First I need to put on my face!”

Livi nodded and grabbed the tube of clear lip gloss that Felicity had bought for her so she could play pretend. It brought back memories of sitting in the bathroom with her own mother playing at putting on makeup. Felicity picked up her hair clip and pulled her hair back away from her face, then started to apply her mascara. 

“How are my lovely girls doing?” Oliver asked as he entered their bathroom. Felicity’s eyes found his in the mirror and she bit the inside of her lip, her belly erupted into butterflies as she took in the sight of him. 

Oliver had left earlier that morning to go pick up his suit and help Roy with things for the wedding. They were having it at the mansion, a last minute change to ward off a throng of news outlets that had gotten word of a Queen wedding. All of which were theorizing who Oliver could be marrying. They had it wrong but the Queens didn’t feel the need to let them know that.

Felicity hadn’t had anything to do with the planning and so she didn’t know what to expect as far as what the guys would be wearing. She’d only seen Thea’s dress because Moira had been so excited when Thea had finally picked one. So she didn’t have time to prepare for how he’d look. Sure she had seen him in countless suits, but this felt different.

Oliver stood leaning against the door jam watching her, his silver jacket open revealing a crisp white shirt, mint green bowtie and matching suspenders. Her mind went to dirty places thinking of pulling on them. His pants matched the color of his jacket and fit him too well, the way they hugged him made her knees weak.

Felicity averted her eyes quickly to watch where she applied the charcoal color to her lashes. It would be really irresponsible of them to be late to his sister’s wedding. “How did things go at the mansion? How’s Roy?”

“Well, the house is nicely decorated. Not surprising since my mother only hires the best,” Oliver said moving further into the room, standing in front of where Livi sat. She stood up and he wrapped an arm around her as she turned to watch Felicity. “Roy is a mess. You’d think they weren’t already married.”

“He’ll be okay once he sees Thea. She’d messaged me last night that she had decided they would observe that whole ‘not spend the night before together’ thing. Roy didn’t like it very much,” Felicity explained as she worked at applying the rest of her makeup.

“I’m sure you’re right. Have you seen her dress?” Oliver asked, picking Livi up when she pulled on his jacket.

“I saw a picture yes, haven’t you?” Felicity asked watching him shake his head in the mirror. “Hm…,” she hummed and grinned. Everyone would be in for a nice surprise then. 

“Livi looks adorable, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that dress when Thea handed it to me,” Oliver said adjusting Livi so her skirt wasn’t bunched under her. “But she sure is beautiful.”

“She called herself a pretty doll before,” Felicity added and Oliver chuckled.

“Sorry about that,” Oliver apologized and kissed Livi’s cheek. Oliver had taken to calling her little doll and apparently it was starting to stick. “But you are the prettiest little doll aren’t you.”

“It’s okay. She really is kind of like a little doll. How much time do we have?” Felicity asked as she applied a moisturizer to her lips, then picked up her favorite tube of lipstick, a red that matched her fingernails.

“We should leave as soon as you’re done. I can go get the rest of Livi’s stuff ready. Mom offered to keep Livi overnight for us…” Oliver paused, his eyes moving over her. Felicity’s skin heated at his gaze, a flush moving over her as his eyes slowly came back to hers. “Which we don’t have to take her up on…”

“I think that might be nice,” Felicity answered before blotting her lips and turning to face him.

She let her eyes wander over him. It was hard to imagine sometimes that he’d chosen her, he could have literally had anyone. Even standing there, holding Livi in one arm, he was the sexiest man she’d ever seen. It was hard to miss the heat in his gaze when her eyes finally reached his, warmth filled Felicity as she closed the distance between them.

“We should definitely take her up on that. There’s only a week until Christmas, maybe we could even swing out and do some shopping tomorrow,” Felicity fixed Livi’s bow, before coming up to unnecessarily adjust Oliver’s bowtie, just wanting a reason to touch him. She came up onto her tiptoes, leaning her body against his just briefly as she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She smiled at the way his breath caught and he cleared his throat. She stepped back, reaching up to rub off the lipstick she’d left behind. “It could be fun.”

“Indeed,” Oliver’s voice was deeper than before, affected by her little display. He shifted Livi fully to his right side and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Are you about ready?”

“I have just a few other things to do then I’ll be ready. I’ll hurry,” Felicity said turning back toward the sink intent on doing the finishing touches of her makeup and fixing her hair. Oliver’s free arm wrapped around her waist stopping her before she could get one step away from him. 

“You look amazing in that dress,” he said, his warm moist breath fanning across her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt across her bare skin. Oliver pulled her close to his free side. The feeling of him pressing into her side caused an overwhelming wave of need to rush through her. Her knees nearly gave out as he lessened his grip, a whimper leaving her lips without her permission. A warm chuckle left him as he leaned in and kissed her temple. “I’ll just leave you to it. I’ll get Livi’s things packed.”

With that he was gone, leaving Felicity there with her heart racing, need coursing through her body. “That bastard,” she mumbled as she returned to finish her makeup. Her hand shaking as she reapplied her lipstick.

 

~F~

 

Thea and Roy’s wedding was simple and beautiful. It was much more low key than she would have imagined from a young couple. But then Moira had a hand in a lot of the planning. The house was decorated in whites and mint green.  

There were two of Thea’s best friends as her bridesmaids, they wore mint green dresses that complimented Thea’s floor length dress. Thea’s small baby bump was barely visible even though she was around twenty-five weeks along. Felicity knew how much Thea worried about looking too pregnant in the pictures. The dress was very flattering and she literally glowed.

Then men were smartly dressed, silver gray suits with mint green bowties. Roy’s suit was a shade lighter, he looked amazing even in his nervousness. Felicity was so proud of him, even if they had made the snap decision to elope before. She was happy that they could have this moment.

Robert had walked Thea down the short aisle to give her over to Roy. Having it at the mansion had shortened their guest list, keeping it to close personal friends and family. The whole thing had been a sweet and intimate affair. 

Felicity had worried how Livi would handle being in the wedding, but she shouldn’t have. Other than trying to eat a few of the rose petals she’d been the perfect little flower girl. She’d been the cutest thing ever according to everyone she’d talked to. Even though it was getting late and past her bedtime Livi was still in a wonderful mood. 

Roy twirled her on the dance floor, in the formal dining room, while Thea stood close by, laughing at the pair. The two of them would make wonderful parents. Even as young as they were, Felicity thought that they would make it work.

“Do you want to dance?” Oliver asked suddenly from her side, startling her. The last she’d seen him he was talking business with his father and two other senior employees from QC.

“Oliver, you know I’m no good at dancing to this kind of music,” Felicity answered with a shake of her head, continuing to watch the other dancers move around in front of her. She took a sip from her champagne flute, savoring the crisp taste. 

“Don’t you mean any kind of music?” Oliver chuckled and Felicity slapped him. They’d danced at the Halloween party, but that had been different. The music was loud and had throbbed through the room. This was slow and delicate. Oliver had promised that she hadn’t stepped on his toes at all. Of course she’d found later from Caitlin that not only had she stepped on Oliver’s toes but she’d stepped on hers as well. Of course he’d choose now to tease her about it. “Sorry that wasn’t nice.”

“No, it wasn’t. I was drunk at the Halloween party. Besides you promised I didn’t step on your toes, so you lied,” she huffed out at him, trying to force a frown but couldn’t manage it. She was too happy. So she smiled instead, finishing the contents from her glass. Oliver’s chuckle only served to make her smile wider.

“Please dance with me?” he asked again, his voice low and soft, his hand held out in front of her. 

Felicity bit her lip and stared at his hand. She wanted to dance, but she was a little farther than blissful from the champagne. Sure she was standing there but man did Oliver look hot. He’d shed his jacket and rolled his sleeves up making her mouth water. He looked especially scrumptious in his white shirt and suspenders.

“I promise we’ll just sway back and forth, no need to worry about toes.”

“Okay, but maybe just for a little bit,” she answered slipping her hand into his.

Oliver grinned as he tugged her out toward the dance floor, lacing his fingers through hers. Felicity placed her glass on a table as they passed, not wanting to drop it. Her stomach swooped as he pulled her into an easy turn, before drawing her back towards him. He settled one of his hands low on her waist near her hip, holding her other hand close to his heart as he guided her into a gentle sway.

The smell of his cologne mixed with the heady feeling from all the champagne she’d enjoyed made her body melt against his. It really wasn’t fair that he was so damn delectable. She tried to straighten herself up, put a little space between them. She reminded herself that they were in his parent’s mansion full of close friends, some business partners for Thea’s wedding. It would be terrible if she felt up her boyfriend in front of them.

“It was a beautiful wedding, your mom did such a wonderful job, she sure can plan a wedding can’t she?  Ooh, and Thea’s color choice was so perfect! Everyone looked so nice. So many people go with darker colors in the winter,” Felicity rambled on to distract herself from the growing need to leave, as she tried to reign in her response to him. They were in a room full of people. It seemed her body didn’t care anymore and Oliver was no help.

Oliver made a small hum of approval as he pulled her even closer to him. His warmth making her head and heart feel light. She melted into him, her body molding to his. She moved her free hand around his back, she caught herself before she let it slip downward.

“I never thought I’d be at another wedding with you.” 

Oliver stiffened at her words, and she immediately felt regret for not stopping them. The thought had just popped into her head and then right out of her mouth. She had sworn to herself to never bring up that time in their lives ever again. It wasn’t the best part of their history. She blamed it on the champagne, and the fact that it was readily available from the moment they’d arrived. Her and champagne would need to take a long vacation from each other, after tonight.

Oliver chuckled and she wondered exactly how much she had said. 

“Oh I heard all of it,” Oliver answered and Felicity buried her face in his chest. 

“Oh my frak, why wouldn’t you stop me?” She words muffled by the soft material of his shirt. Which just made things worse, as not only could she smell his cologne but everything else that made her mouth water about him.

“Because you’re too sweet when you babble, and so honest,” Oliver said, kissing the top of her head. “In the honor of being honest I’d like to point out that after Tommy and Laurel’s wedding I would have thought the same thing. Yet here we are dancing at my sister’s wedding,” Oliver squeezed her hand and she looked up at him. His eyes sparkled with happiness. “I’m glad that wasn't the last wedding. I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else, and I really hope it’s not the last one.”

The way he said it, his words so full of hope, the glint to his eyes. There was something there that he wasn’t saying. She wondered if he was thinking about them. 

Oliver looked away and Felicity chewed the inside of her lip. Maybe he was… Hadn’t she thought about it when Thea was walking down the aisle? Imagined Oliver greeting her at the end? But she couldn’t imagine something like that on his near future radar. She’d been with Cooper for three years and had been so hopeful for a proposal and that blew up in her face. She and Oliver had only been together six months. Sure they’d known each other for several years, but they’d spent a good chunk of that time hating each other.

She sighed rested her head on his chest as they moved together, Oliver leading them expertly around in what she thought could be a circle. She caught sight of Thea and Roy in a similar embrace and her mind supplied her with a wonderful image of her and Oliver, with Livi in his arms, her own dress white instead of green. It didn’t hurt to imagine it.

“Me too,” Felicity finally said as she let herself just enjoy the feel of Oliver’s strong body pressed against hers as they continued to dance. 

A new song started, slow and sweet like the last. Oliver turned them slowly and Felicity caught sight of a dozing Livi in Moira’s arms. Donna stood close by talking to her, with Quentin at her side. Happiness warmed Felicity to the point of bursting. So much had happened since the last wedding. So many devastating things, and yet here they all were, together and mostly happy.

“It looks like Livi is ready for bed,” Oliver spoke softly, obviously catching the same sight she had. “I’m amazed she has lasted this long.”

“So much excitement for a little one,” Felicity said attempting to take a step out of Oliver’s embrace. Livi might have been staying with his parents but she should at least go help get her ready for bed. “I should go help-”

“No, let them do it. They live for that kind of stuff now that we are all grown up,” Oliver said, tightening his grip on her. She became aware of a very valid reason for her not to move away from him. “Take a walk with me?”

“Okay,” Felicity said and Oliver released her only enough to head off the dance floor, guiding her in front of him. 

One of his large hands were fanned out across her lower belly as he propelled them toward the edge of the room, and out into the hallway. He then took her hand and they slipped down a side hallway, Felicity wishing she'd gone with a shorter heel as she tried to keep up with him. Oliver opened a door, looked around, then pulled her in with him. He let go of her hand to shut the door behind them and Felicity looked around. She tried to figure out which room they could possibly be in. But it was impossible in the low light of a single lamp burning on the far side of the room.

“Oliver, where are w-”

Oliver’s lips stopped her question, his hands holding her face in the semi-darkness. His tongue pressed along the seam of her lips and she opened easily as her heart began to race in her chest. The need from earlier fanned into a fire low in her belly. Oliver groaned low in chest as their tongues tangled together. Her hands slid over his chest, grabbing his suspenders as she pressed her body against his. Desperate need crashed through her as she felt him against her belly. He moved them backward, she squeaked against his lips as her backside hit something hard. 

“Oliver...” She gasped out, pulling her lips away from his even as he lifted her onto what she realized was a desk, moving between her knees. His lips burning a line down her jaw toward her ear. Her body melting into his as he pulled her closer. “We can’t… not.. um… oh not here.”

“How quiet do you think you can be?” His whispered words grated out, fanning against her neck leaving goosebumps in their wake. They sounded heavy with a need that matched her own. Felicity felt her insides clench as her heart crashed against her ribcage. They could get caught. She opened her mouth to tell him as much but her mind short circuited as one of his hands slipped up along the inside of her leg, under the skirt of her dress, on a deliberate path.

Felicity’s breath caught as his nimble fingers found the edge of her panties and dipped under. She gripped his suspenders so tightly her fingers ached, and cried against his cheek. “Oliver!”

“Shh… Felicity, baby I need you, please… how qui-” 

It was her turn to cut him off, pulling him in for a kiss, pushing her tongue between his lips, taking what she wanted. She released his suspenders to move her hands down over his broad chest, lower in a search for his belt. The resulting rumble of approval from Oliver sunk deep into her, turning any hesitance she had to dust.

Felicity could be just as quiet as was needed, because she needed him just as badly.

 

~F~

 

Christmas morning arrived in a blink of an eye. 

Felicity woke from a bad dream, Livi pressed between her and Oliver. The pair so beautiful it made her heart hurt. Not wanting to wake them she slipped quietly from the bed. 

She hadn’t expected to wake so early, especially after staying up as late as they had wrapping gifts. Half of the time they’d spent arguing over how to put a silly play kitchen together. Somehow though they managed with only a couple of ‘spare’ parts as Oliver called them. She wasn’t so sure. But she’d been too tired to argue about it anymore, they fell into bed shortly after they put a giant bow on top of it.

Felicity wandered downstairs, through the living room where the giant tree stood, presents brightly wrapped underneath. She moved into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee, filling a cup once it was done. She stood looking around as she sipped the hot liquid, wishing it would fill her with warmth so she could shake the dream she’d had.

She felt a tug toward the office and headed in that direction. She remembered a collection of photo albums in Tommy’s old office. She stared at the bindings, reaching each label. Wedding, Olivia Megan, College Laurel Beware; Felicity laughed at that one. She stopped on the one labeled Christmas and decided that since it was Christmas that could be fun. She pulled it out and dropped into one of the overstuffed chairs.

She flipped it open, the very first page was full of the very first Christmas party they’d attended. Laurel and Tommy and herself, bright eyed and too drunk to care that they all had smudged lipstick on them. She flipped through a few more pages. All of the pages full of the people most important to them. Various people, Quentin and Sara, even a couple of Thea, Moira and Robert Queen. A lot of her and Oliver. It covered years of get togethers, of happier times.

The last half of the album was empty. On the very last filled page there was a picture of all three Merlyns. Livi just seven months old fast asleep as Laurel and Tommy smiled brightly into the camera. Felicity remembered it well, rubbing her fingers over their smiling faces, she had taken this particular photo. A sharp pang of longing filled her chest. She let it take over for just a moment. She hadn’t been able to be there for the whole party. She had other things keeping her away, looking back they were things that weren’t more important than them. But she had shown up toward the end. 

Oh how she ached to have those moments back. How she wished she had known how little time she would have left with Laurel in her life. She missed them so much. She wiped away a tear that fell, making sure it didn’t ruin any of the photographs.

Felicity turned back a few pages and laughed as she fell on one from the year they were married. Tommy and Laurel were kissing under the mistletoe in the background as Sara made a face in the foreground. They were so happy and carefree. She touched the photograph only to have it shift. She noticed shoved under it there was another photo, she bit her tongue. It was a picture of Oliver kissing her for the first time, under that same mistletoe Tommy and Laurel had been under. 

She had known that Roy had lined it up at the time, taking a swat at her for the whole thing that had happened at Thanksgiving. But she hadn’t realized that Tommy and or Laurel had been in on it. They had to have known in order to plan to snap a picture. 

“Those meddling little-”

“Backstabbers!”

Felicity jumped startled by Oliver’s sudden appearance, nearly dropping the album. She caught it before it could slip to the floor, her other hand flying to cover her heart. It hammered in her chest and her breath caught in her chest. Oliver stood just inside the doorway, looking deliciously rumpled, with a sleepy flushed faced Livi in his arms. 

“Jesus Oliver, you scared me!” She finally said once she’d cleared her throat. He gave her a small apologetic smile.

“Sorry…” he said with a shrug, not sounding very sorry as he moved into the office. He looked down at the photo album before dropping into the chair next to her. Livi climbed onto the arm and looked down at the page.

“Mommy… Daddy!!” She said excitedly pointing at each Laurel and Tommy in turn, making Felicity and Oliver both smile at her. 

“They sure loved to meddle didn’t they?” Oliver said, pulling Livi into his lap, trying to adjusting her red and green plaid nightgown to cover her legs. Felicity just noticing the cool temperature of the office.

“Apparently,” Felicity sighed shaking her head, fixing the picture of Sara so that it wouldn’t fall out of the book. “It’s going to sound crazy, because man alive I hated the meddling... but I miss it now. I miss having Laurel complain that she believed I was wasting my best years,” she closed the book, feeling the darkness in her mind trying to make her feel guilty over being here when she wasn’t. She decided to lighten the mood, she pushed on Oliver’s knee with her foot, “Or having her set me up on blind dates from hell!”

Oliver shook his head and smiled at her, “We never  _ technically _ went on the blind date.”

“We didn’t because you were a pain in the ass,” Felicity said standing up to place the album back on the shelf she’d gotten it from. 

“I know, I’d like to think that I’ve changed since then though,” Oliver stated, watching her move back toward him and Livi. He tipped his head back and winked at her.

“You have,” Felicity conceded, she’d let him have that one. He had changed a lot since that day. In so many good ways. She leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, pulling back to smile at him. 

“We both have,” Oliver added, a soft smile graced his lips. “They meddled because they cared for our happiness.”

“I know Oliver, and I’d like to think that they’d be happy that we are happy together.”

“I think they would be,” Oliver answered, nodding his agreeance. 

It was a relief to finally have a glimpse at the happiness that Laurel and Tommy had. It hadn’t been an especially glamorous road, but Oliver and her had found their way. With a bit of help from their friends after all.

“Mama,” Livi called seeking Felicity’s attention, standing up in Oliver’s lap. Felicity picked her up, kissing her cheek. “Eat mama, now.”

As if on cue Livi and Felicity’s stomachs growled. They both laughed and Livi looked between them both with a concerned little pucker to her brow. 

“Yes munchie, let’s go make some breakfast,” she nuzzled her nose into Livi’s neck making the little girl giggle. Felicity reached out and touched Oliver’s hand before turning to leave the office. “You coming?”

“Oh uh yes in a minute, I have something I want to look at,” he replied turning his hand over to hold hers, giving her fingers a little squeeze. “I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” Felicity left Oliver in the study, mildly curious as to what it could be that kept him there. 

True to his word he showed up just moments later to help make breakfast. After they ate and quickly cleaned up, Oliver carried Livi into the living room and set her on her feet. Her eyes widened at the presents under the tree. She moved as fast as her little legs could carry her to the toy kitchen and started searching through it. 

While Livi was interested in the kitchen, Felicity dug under the tree to pull out Oliver’s gift. She felt a bit awkward because she honestly hadn’t known what to get him. So she had no idea how he would feel about this particular gift. It wasn’t until she was walking back to her office from lunch one day that she happened to notice a pocket watch in the antique store’s window. Something made her go inside to look at it.

The old man that owned the shop was so kind, letting her look at the watch. He explained that it was old, his great grandfather’s brought over from England. He said it was very old but still worked just right if you were kind when you wound it and had it serviced once a year. His memories of it were so vivid, she was grateful for his sharing them with her.

Felicity had gotten so lost in talking with the old man she’d missed a meeting with a client. She was so taken with the old man that she’d ended up buying Oliver cufflinks and a refillable pen too. At least he’d have something to open on Christmas morning. 

When she’d opened the watch after she’d gotten home she knew it was the right gift for sure. An inscription on the inside said,  _ “Time is precious, don’t let it go to waste. Spend it with those you love.” _

“What’s that?” Oliver asked as Felicity sat next to him on the floor, slipping the small box into his lap.

“Just a little something,” she said as he moved the box around in his fingers.

“I thought we were only getting Livi gifts,” Oliver said, lifting an eyebrow as he pulled the ribbon loose.

Felicity looked at the small pile of packages under the tree then back at him and raised her own eyebrow at him. Some were Livi’s that they’d purchased for her. Several others were for her mother, Quentin and even the Queens and the now Harpers. But she’d seen at least one from Oliver addressed to her. So she wouldn’t take the bait.

“Looks like we didn’t stick to the rules very well,” Felicity said making Oliver laugh. “Now open the box.”

Oliver sighed dramatically like she was twisting his arm as he pulled the lid off the box. He stared for a few minutes before picking the silver timepiece up out of the box. “Wow Felicity,” he breathed, turning it over in his hand, the chain slipping through his fingers.

“There’s a spot for a picture. I have a small one of Livi if you’d like,” Felicity stated, her fingers twisting in the edge of her night shirt. His silence as he looked it over unsettled her. “I mean it’s an antique of course. But I made sure that it works and I had it polished. The inscription was already on it so we could have that changed if you don’t like it. I really-”

“I love it Felicity,” Oliver leaned forward, grabbing her face between his hands and kissed her. 

“Really?” she asked once he pulled back breaking the kiss. “Because I’m sure that we could take it back.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Silly woman. It’s perfect,” Oliver leaned forward and kissed her, pulling back just as she leaned in. “Now it’s your turn though.”

He shifted over until he could reach under the tree, dragging a rather large rectangular box toward her. 

“What’s this?” She asked lifting it and turning it on it’s end. Nothing happened and Oliver made a face at her.

“Open it and you’ll find out,” Livi caught sight of them and went rummaging under the tree handing a gift to Oliver. They both laughed and he exchanged it for one that actually had her name on it. “Here you go little doll, you can open one too.”

“We need to get pictures,” Felicity remembered and Oliver hopped up and darted back out of the living room. Felicity placed her hand over Livi’s before she could tear open the box in her lap. “Hold on munchie! Just a minute.”

“Aw wight,” Livi said with a nod as she crossed her hands together in her lap.

Oliver came back into the room with the camera and sat crossed legged where he could get good pictures of both of them. They gave Livi permission to open her box. A delighted little squeal left her as she looked at a basket full of play food.

“Now you go,” Oliver prodded Felicity with his foot as he took the basket Livi offered with an insistent ‘oten” as she asked him to open it. He began tearing into the plastic as he watched Felicity.

She pulled the perfectly tied bow apart, then lifted the lid off the box. Under a layer of tissue paper was a beautiful red fabric. Little pearls and crystals had been sewn onto it. She reached in and lifted it up revealing a beautiful vintage dress, from the 1930’s she’d guess. She stood up so she could take in the whole length of the gown. 

“How did you…” her voice trailed off as she stared at the dress in awe. How would Oliver even know to get her this kind of dress? She was so in love with it already and she hadn’t even tried it on yet.

“Well I’ve seen some of your dresses in the closet, ones you’ve worn to some of the gala’s we’ve been to. Not together just, that I’ve seen you wear…” Oliver rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know if you had a dress picked out yet for the gala at Laurel’s old law firm… but when I saw this one I just knew that you’d love it. You do like it right?”

“Oh my god Oliver! Like it?” she breathed, holding it up against her body, the length of the material gathering on the floor. She would have to wear killer heels and pray she didn’t kill herself but oh how she loved it! “I love it, it's gorgeous! It must have cost you a fortune!!”

Oliver snorted and sat back down, putting the play food that Livi had spilled out onto the floor back into the basket. “It’s Christmas Felicity, we aren’t going to discuss how much things cost.”

Felicity stared at him, then back at the dress. She slowly lowered it back down into the box, then slid her fingers through his hair. Oliver sighed and looked up at her. She slid her hand out of his hair and down along his jaw, she held his face in her hands, rubbing her thumb over the mole at the corner of his mouth. She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Thank you, Oliver, it’s absolutely beautiful,” she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Livi squealed behind her as she tore into another box. Felicity kissed Oliver once more before turning to rescue the gift from Livi. Together they pulled out the rest of her gifts for her to open, hiding the others from view. They watched in amazement as she tore into each of the gifts they got her. They took turns taking pictures of her and enjoyed the exuberance of a young child experience Christmas.

An hour later Felicity carried a crashed out Livi up to her crib. The excitement of the morning giving way to a desperate need for a nap. Once she was tucked in under her blanket, Felicity moved into her and Oliver’s room to get dressed. She was secretly dying to try on the dress he’d bought her, but it was much too dressy for the day they had ahead of them.

Instead she opted for a pair of jeans and a cream-colored cashmere sweater. She headed back downstairs to find Oliver sitting on the floor of the living room. He had ran up and dressed earlier while she played doctor with Livi. He’d surfaced in a pair of worn jeans and a blue sweater that hung perfectly on his body. It always amazed her how perfectly he wore everything. 

Oliver looked up as she stepped on that one floorboard that always creaked. 

“Hey you, why don’t you join me?” He patted the floor in front of her and the smiled. It was one of those ones that made her feel like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. She pulled her hair up into a pony-tail and nodded.

Felicity dropped down in front of him, crossing her legs. She noticed that he had a small box in his hands. The small black box made Felicity’s heart stutter in her chest. She thought they had already opened all their gifts.

“Felicity...,” Oliver started, his voice croaked a bit, making butterflies burst in her stomach. He cleared his throat and reached for her hand. She let him take it though she could barely breathe. His warm fingers laced with hers, grounding her enough that she sucked in a slow breath. 

“Oliver?” Felicity whispered, her own throat feeling suddenly much too dry.

“I um… I had another idea for this, it involved that blasted mistletoe that upended my life a few years ago but I couldn’t find it and… really my life was upended before that I was just too,” he paused eyes finding hers. Felicity’s mind stalled on the fact that Oliver was rambling on like she usually did. He swallowed hard enough that her eyes were drawn to the movement of his Adam's apple. Only to dart down to the box he fiddled with in his lap. She wanted to tell him to spit out what he meant because the riot of butterflies in her stomach were making her feel nauseous, when he finally started again. “But then I wasn’t sure how asking you without warning would go… I didn’t want to do it in front of people if… well if it didn’t go favorably.”

“What?” Felicity asked dumbfounded. What did he want to ask? She had an idea, but she could be wrong right? He wasn’t helping her. The box was closed so really anything could be in the box. Maybe a car key? Or house keys? Maybe he wanted a bigger house like his parents had? Though they hadn’t talked about leaving this one. 

Oliver was always confident so his nervousness now made her increasingly nervous as well. She gave his hand a squeeze, trying to reassure him that she was there, signal him that he’d stopped talking. She desperately wanted to know what was going on. Her heart was like a free bird in a cage, beating painfully against her ribcage. 

He huffed out a breath, shook his head and shifted, sitting straighter. Somehow he’d received the message and she almost sighed with relief when he cleared his throat.

“Felicity, inside this box is a ring. I want you to know that I had no real intention to buy one, I simply came across it and knew that it had to be yours. I’ve battled with myself over when would be the best time as its only been six months since we’ve gotten our shit together,” Oliver looked up and Felicity tried to breath through the look in his eyes. 

Her heart seizing on the knowledge that he was most definitely proposing. Her heart and lungs fought against the space in her chest. She stared at him unable to do or say anything. She held onto his hand tighter, fearing for the first time that if she didn’t say something maybe he’d stop.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to give me an answer right now. That’s why I opted not to do it in front of everyone else. Because I’ve had time to think about it, come to terms with what I want and I’m still kind of in shock that this is something I want so badly. Anyways,” Oliver shook his head, letting go of her hand.

Felicity nearly panicked as her heart tried to claw it’s way up her throat. The box opened and inside the black velvet was one of the most intricate delicate stunning rings she had ever seen. The diamond caught the light from the Christmas tree and sparkled before Oliver reached in to pull it out. It was so tiny held between his thumb and index finger. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched him take her left hand.

“Felicity, I know that things haven’t always been perfect between us, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you, long before I was ready to admit it to myself. So much time wasted for pride,” Oliver said softly as he squeezed her hand. His face lit up in a truly radiant smile as all the nervousness from before left him. The butterflies in her stomach calmed enough that she was able to smile back at him, feeling a prickle in her eyes at how beautiful he was. She bit her lip and waited patiently, relief filling her now that she knew what was happening.

“The pocket watch you gave me was the last push I needed. If you truly believe what the inscription says then you’ll understand why I’m asking you this. Because I love you Felicity. God I love you so much more than I ever imagined was possible to love someone. I go to bed at night never wanting to wake up without you there beside me.”

Felicity felt the first tear drip onto her cheek as he slowly slipped the ring onto the tip of her left ring finger. She bit the inside of her lip as it shivered. She stared at the ring poised there, waiting. Oliver squeezed her hand and cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to him.

“I have to ask you, so you know exactly how I feel about us,” Oliver swallowed, then squeezed her hand once more and blew out a slow breath. “Felicity Megan Smoak, will you marry me?”

Felicity sobbed. The tension that was squeezing her chest broke loose and she nodded as tears streamed down her face. Her hand trembling in Oliver’s as he stared at her, waiting.

“Oh god, Oliver…” she cried and looked down at where he’d stopped, the ring only barely on her finger. “Yes, Oliver.”

“You will?” Oliver asked in amazement, “I meant it I didn’t need-”

She surged forward and kissed him. Felicity poured every ounce of love into the kiss. She didn’t want him to doubt it for a moment.

“I said yes… I mean it,” Felicity cried and he finally slid the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly like it had been designed just for her. It sparkled again in the light casted off of the Christmas tree. She didn’t have long to admire it before Oliver was tugging her into his lap. 

He covered her face in little pecks making her laugh. He stopped and stared at her, holding her face between his warm hands. Oliver’s face full of amazement as he searched her face, stopping once his eyes reached hers again.

“I can’t believe you said yes. You’ll really marry me?” Oliver asked again. 

Felicity chuckled and kissed him. “As if I could say no to you. Oliver, I have been in love with you for… too long. If losing Laurel and Tommy have taught me anything it’s to not take things for granted. All I want is you. Yes I’ll marry you!”

Oliver kissed her again, a laugh and permanent smile on his lips. 

The doorbell rang announcing the arrival of their first guests, ending their private celebration on the floor in the living room. Oliver slipped her off his lap and hopped up to go answer the door. Felicity sat staring at her ring as her mom screeched from the foyer. 

The rest of the holiday was spent in the warm company of all their family, the loss of three very important people still weighed heavily on them. But it was lessened by the happiness they all shared. Having Livi with them kept them busy as they got to enjoy her excitement over pretty packages that were covered in paper she could tear.

Felicity couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas for all of them. 

In the moments when the guilt would try to slip in she reminded herself that Laurel would have wanted her to be happy. It was the one thing that she knew that Laurel had worried about for as long as she’d known her. Felicity’s happiness meant the world to her. As Felicity looked around at the many people who now shared in creating that happiness she knew that Laurel could rest easy.

Felicity was the happiest she’d ever been. 


	22. Oliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go.... Sorry for the wait, again. This is the last official chapter. It's been a wonderful journey, I hope that everyone has liked it. Thank you for reading it and following along with me. I couldn't have done it without you supporting me the whole way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ~C

Oliver woke to the smell of rosemary and mint tickling his nose, or more likely the blonde tendrils of Felicity’s hair. His left arm pinned underneath her, their fingers laced together, the diamond of her ring cutting into the palm of his hand. He sighed deeply, pulling her body closer to his with his other arm.

Felicity’s body molded perfectly to his, warm and soft under his hand. He’d become so familiar with every inch of her, and the way she fit against him. Every morning he got to wake up this way was a blessing.

Once again Oliver sent up a small thank you to Tommy and Laurel. He'd lost count of his often he thought of them and how grateful for them he was. If it hadn’t been for their gentle pushes and redirections he may have missed out on all of this. Meeting Felicity had changed his life in so many ways. He’d grown up a lot in the three years since their first disaster of a blind date.

Now they were engaged.

Oliver wondered what they would have thought if they could see them now. Deep down he knew that they would be happy for them. He hoped they would be relieved that they had come together to care for Livi, that they had finally resolved their differences and been truthful to each other.

Oliver hated that it had been their death that propelled them together. It shouldn’t have taken that happening. They should have listened to their friends a long time ago.

Oliver sucked in a ragged breath as his throat and heart gave a sharp squeeze. He sunk his face deep into Felicity’s curls and breathed her in. Her familiar smell calmed him as he banished the overwhelming sadness at the thought of what they had lost. He wouldn't let it drag him from this happy quiet moment. Not when things had been so good except for the gala.

Oliver had spent Christmas morning nervous but excited. He'd woke to Felicity missing from their bed, worry had knotted his stomach at what it could have meant. She had been doing much better, not closing herself off, sharing with him when she felt especially low. He knew that Christmas was going to be hard, but he hoped that they’d be able to get through it just like they had Thanksgiving.

Livi woke as he came back from the bathroom before he could go look for Felicity. So he had picked her up and carried her with him to search for Felicity. They found her in Tommy’s old office, looking through a photo album. Silent tears on her cheeks. His stomach had sunk until she found a photo he’d found the previous year when he and Tommy were filling the album with photos.

Her making a comment about Tommy and Laurel meddling made him smile. Oliver hadn’t meant to startle her, but she recovered quickly. When she headed off to make breakfast he thought about that mistletoe picture, and how fun it could be to do a proposal under it. Bring their whole thing semi full circle.

Honestly, Oliver hadn’t given a lot of thought about when he would propose. He’d only bought the ring on impulse, it felt like it needed to belong to Felicity. But this had felt right. They were working so well together, and he couldn’t see himself with anyone else. She was it for him. So he’d ask her, on Christmas to give them something happy to celebrate. But when he went looking where he knew Tommy had hid it, it was missing.

A small voice in the back of his head made him wonder if she’d think him asking was too soon. They’d only been together for six months. The doubt crept in and he almost decided not to ask.

The rest of the morning was pleasant as they exchanged gifts. The pocket watch was such a touching gift, he looked forward to carrying it for a long time. It reaffirmed what he wanted to do. He was going to ask her he just needed to find the right moment. He enjoyed Felicity’s reaction to the dress. He knew it had been the perfect choice.

When she’d taken Livi upstairs for her nap he pulled the ring box out of his coat pocket in the entry hall closet. He opened and looked at it, watching the way the light caught on the diamond. He prayed that she would say yes.

Never in his life could he have imagined the joy that would follow. He was a nervous wreck through the whole thing, when he had bought the ring for Isabel, and decided he wanted to propose he knew then it would be easy. He imagined the right words to say. But that had been a colossal waste. It was fresh in his mind as he stumbled through his words. Felicity’s face so stoic, and her breathing tense. He’d been so glad they were in private with no one watching.

Felicity said yes anyways. All his doubts evaporated as she kissed him there on the floor. She’d agreed to be his wife. The ring had fit perfectly like it had been made just for her.

The rest of the day passed in a rush of excitement as their families arrived. Oliver was grateful to have all their family around them. Everyone was happy for them, his father had even told him he was proud of him. Though their Christmas could have been dark and full of grief it ended up being a bright and happy occasion.

They both had looked forward to the New Year Gala, it would be the first that they attended together. Oliver couldn’t wait to see Felicity in the dress he’d bought for her. Donna and Quentin had taken Livi the day before and offered to keep her for two nights so that they could fully enjoy their evening.

Oliver had had bright hope for the night of the gala. Felicity had dressed in the red dress, twice actually, as the first time she’d put it on and asked him to help zip her he’d gotten distracted. Even so they still made it to the gala on time. Dinner had been wonderful, and they shared a few dances before the hosts started the main event. They had been prepared for a simple mention of Laurel and Tommy and their charitable acts. But what was presented was much more detailed.

Felicity took it especially hard. Oliver carried her out to the car as she cried, his parents watching, concerned, as they left. He hadn’t handled it well either. His heart was hurting for his best friend, the slide show of Tommy’s smiling face made it worse.

They hadn’t thought too much about them in the days prior. They had been wrapped up in their own happiness, and Livi’s excitement that Tommy and Laurel hadn’t been in the forefront. So having their absence dragged in front of them had been unsettling. He had barely swallowed his own grief to get Felicity home. Once there, in the house that their best friends had owned and lived in together left him overwhelmed. He was soon lost as he drowned in his own grief. The only thing he could do for Felicity was hold her, as they both lost themselves in their grief.

Since then he’d been determined to not let it overwhelm him like that again. Oliver would be stronger for both of them. He never wanted to feel that helpless again. So he stuffed the pain down deep and chose to live in the happy moments they created together.

Like waking up in each other's’ arms, their bodies so close together he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. Oliver let his fingers dance over her hip as Felicity made a soft hum of approval, still asleep. He shifted so he could kiss the tender skin behind her ear, feeling the way she responded to his touch. Goose bumps spread across her skin as she pushed herself closer.

“Oliver,” she sighed, the fingers of her left hand tightening around his.

He smiled against her skin and let his free hand dip over her hip, smoothing along the flat expanse of her stomach. He closed his eyes when she pressed back against him, offering delicious friction.

Livi's little voice calling out for her favorite stuffie drifted over the baby monitor. Oliver stilled and waited. She started talking as she found her duck. He relaxed until Livi said ‘dada’.

“I should get her,” he said as he started to roll away. He’d let Felicity sleep a while longer as she enjoyed her last day off before heading back into the office.

“No no no,” Felicity murmured stopping his retreat by grabbing his hand. “She’s okay,” she whispered on a breath as she pushed his hand lower over her stomach and moaning low as she pushed his fingers between her legs.

“Fuck Felicity,” he groaned and blocked out the giggles coming over the baby monitor, as Felicity further encouraged him to stay right where he was.

 

~O~

 

An hour later they were in the kitchen making breakfast. Livi was making a mess on the island as she stirred her own bowl of pancake mix together. That had been Felicity’s idea to keep the little one happy. Livi smacked her spoon into her bowl sending a large amount of the sticky mess to splatter all over the surface around her, and her pajamas.

Oliver in nothing but his sweat pants and Felicity in one of his shirts. Knowing there was nothing else underneath made sliding his hand up under the edge all too tempting as she poured pancakes on the griddle. She swatted his hand away just as the doorbell rang out through the house.

“I wonder who that is!?” Felicity said, her head looking in the direction of the front door. “Were you expecting someone? I didn’t think anyone was coming over today.”

Oliver frowned and looked toward the hallway. “I’ll get it.”

He headed to the front door, opening it without looking. It was probably just the local newspaper boy. They’d already been hit up at the beginning of December. “We already bought- Oh uh...”

To say he was shocked was an understatement. In front of him stood the social worker that had handled Livi’s case, Miss Lindy Ander. Oliver hadn’t thought about her since the last time they’d seen her in court. They’d been so busy with things that the idea they’d see her again wasn’t even slightly on the radar. Why was she here? His stomach dropped as his mind supplied possible reasons for her sudden appearance. All of them only made his stomach sink farther as he stood staring at her.  

“Who is it, Oliver?” Felicity’s voice came up the hallway from behind him. He knew she would be shocked too, but he didn’t have time to say or do anything before it was too late. “If it’s that paperboy Kyle tell him we already bought one from Crissy up the- Oh my god Miss Ander! Hello.”

Miss Ander smiled at them, her eyes moving from him to her and back again. They must have looked like quite the pair, him in his sweat pants and Felicity in his shirt, holding a very messy Livi on her hip. Felicity pulled at the edge of her shirt, trying to cover more of her legs, it was useless as it was caught under Livi.

“Hello Miss Smoak, Mr. Queen, Happy New Year!” Miss Ander addressed them, her eyes bright and cheerful. “May I come in? It’s kind of cold out here.”

Oliver startled and stepped back, “Of course! Please come in.”

“Happy New Year,” Felicity started slowly, shifting Livi so she could yet again attempt to pull the t-shirt down. She stepped back toward the stairs as the social worker entered the house, looking around her. “Um…. we weren’t expecting you.”

Oliver closed the door and followed the path that Miss Ander had looked. There were toys and various shoes littering the space. They admittedly hadn’t spent much time cleaning over the holidays. It was on the agenda for later in the day as since they would both have to report to work the following day. Had he known that she would be stopping by he would have made it a priority.

“Oh… I thought I emailed both of you last week,” Lindy said as she removed her jacket, draping it over her arm.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver apologized, crossing his arm awkwardly over his bare chest. A look at Felicity told him she felt just as awkward standing there half dressed.

“Why would you email us?” Felicity asked, a crinkle marring her forehead.

Oliver tired to remember reading an email from the social worker but he’d drawn a blank. He was confident that if he had he would have put it on the calendar. He wasn’t sure why she was even here.

Miss Ander’s smile fell for a moment. “To tell you I’d be by for our follow up appointment. I understand that it’s been more than four months but… things have been busy at work. Is now a bad time?”

“No.” “Not at all!” Oliver and Felicity said at the same time, shaking their heads.

“Though-” Felicity started looking in Oliver’s direction.

“Would you mind sitting in the living room and give us a moment to get presentable?” Oliver asked holding his hand out in the direction of the living room. “We were in the middle of breakfast.”

“Oh, sure. That would be fine,” Miss Ander answered and Oliver lead her to the living room as Felicity disappeared up the stairs with Livi still attached to her hip. “I hadn’t planned on interrupting anything. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, I’m sure we both just over looked the email. We’ve had a busy couple weeks, with my sister getting married and then the holidays,” Oliver apologized and started to head to the stairs as Lindy sat down on the couch. “We’ll be right back.”

“Take your time,” she said as he turned, leaving her alone in the living room.

Oliver took the stairs two at a time making a beeline for their room and grabbed a pair of jeans, changing quickly and pulled on a sweater. He headed toward Livi’s room where Felicity was trying to clean her up with a wet wipe. Livi was fighting her, pushing away her hand. A tear spilled over from Felicity’s eyes, a sure sign that she was stressed.

“Hey, go get dressed,” Oliver said taking the wipe from Felicity as he stepped up to the changing table. “I’ll get this.”

“I didn’t know she was coming. How irresponsible is that? Our house is a mess Oliver! Whatever will she think of that? You answered the door with hardly any clothes on!” Felicity fretted, pulling her fingers through her hair restlessly, making it a messy riot on her head. “Oh my god Oliver what if they’ve changed their minds and they want to put her with someone else? I can’t lose her!”

“Felicity, love, it’ll be okay. I promise,” Oliver made sure to make his voice as firm and confident as possible, willing his own emotions to settle. He wouldn’t be able to calm her if he let his inner worry show. He took Felicity’s hands and gave them a squeeze, trying to reassure her. He needed her to calm down and go get dressed. “Go get dressed and I’ll take care of Livi. Take a few breaths and try to calm down. I’ll meet you downstairs. Okay?”

Felicity nodded, his heart squeezed as another tear spilled over. He leaned in to press a soft kiss against her lips. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered as he pulled away. Taking that small moment to focus on her helped him as well.

Felicity blew out a rushed breath and nodded again. “Thank you, Oliver.”

He let her go and she left the room. Oliver turned and leveled Livi with a no-nonsense look. She grinned at him and he knew she could be troublesome if she wanted to be. He needed her to not be right now. “Now Livi, it’s time to get cleaned up. We have an important meeting to get to downstairs. So no playing around, understand?”

“Otay dada,” She said with a firm nod. Oliver smiled at her. “Dit dress now.”

Once he had her cleaned and changed into a dress he carried her downstairs. The things that had been laying around at the end of the stairs was stacked into a basket. A sure sign that Felicity had rushed to dress and then go downstairs. He moved into the living room to find Miss Ander looking over their Christmas tree as she sipped from a mug in her hand.

Oliver set Livi down, “Go play sweetheart,” Livi nodded and moved to her play kitchen, content to play with it as Oliver moved across the room closer to where the social worker stood.

“I’m terribly sorry about all of that. First not knowing you were coming and for well… be unpresentable when I opened the door,” Oliver apologized rubbing his hand over the back of his neck and held out his hand to her when she turned. “It’s good to see you again.”

“I’m sorry for surprising you guys. I should have called,” she answered taking his hand to shake it, briefly then let it go.

“Here Oliver, I brought you a cup of coffee,” Felicity said announcing her presence as she held a cup out in his direction. “A call would have been nice, but we’ve learned to be flexible.”

Miss Ander chuckled as Oliver took one of the cups from Felicity.

“Flexibility is a necessity for being a parent,” Miss Ander said, moving toward the love seat where her coat and bag sat. Oliver motioned for Felicity to move toward the couch, she nodded. Felicity followed, stopping shortly to run her fingers through Livi’s hair as she moved passed her.

“So, you two, how have you been doing?” she asked, as she set her mug down on the coffee table as she sat down.

“Uh, well we’ve been pretty good,” Felicity said, before taking a sip from her mug. Oliver watched her tense as the social worker shifted through her bag, finally pulling out a pen and a yellow note pad.

“Life as usual,” Oliver said, moving his hand to where Felicity’s sat in her lap, lacing his fingers with hers so that their palms touched.

“I have a feeling it’s been anything but ‘life as usual’,” Miss Ander replied with a soft smile. “I don’t think many people would be able to go through what you’ve had happen and be able to sit there and say it’s ‘life as usual’, you two are much stronger than most.”

“Anyhow, I had meant to schedule a meeting a month or so back but I had a bit of a busy period and you guys weren’t high on my priority list. Not because I didn’t care about Livi or about how things were going but because I didn’t have any worry about her being in your care. I believe that Tommy and Laurel Merlyn had known exactly the kind of people they were entrusting their daughter to. I really don’t want you to worry about my being here now either because really, it’s just to close out Livi’s case,” she offered with a smile, laying the pen and paper on her lap, she folded her hands together over the pad. “So please, stop sitting there like you’re facing the firing squad.”

Oliver relaxed as Felicity let out a low bubble of laughter. He was almost sure that the social worker's’ words didn’t automatically make Felicity’s worry lessen. He knew the state of the house and that would be something that Felicity would worry about. But he felt some of the tension leave his body. Miss Ander only wanted to fulfill what was necessary from the court's point of view.

“We just feel bad that we weren’t prepared,” Felicity said as she shifted nervously.

“I could tell by the state you were in when you answered the door that you weren’t prepared for guests today. It’s okay. I’m not going to judge you on the state of how you look or how your house looks. As an outsider it would appear that you guys have been having a very normal holiday season. No house that has children in it at this time of year is spotless,” she said with a smile. “So just let that go. I have a few questions I need to ask and then I’ll be done. Is that okay?”

Both Oliver and Felicity nodded. “That’s fine.”

Miss Ander nodded and lifted the pad up. “How do you feel things are going with Livi? Is she adjusting well to life with the two of you?” She looked up at them with her pen poised above the paper.

A quick look at Felicity told him she was nervous. She hadn’t been very fond of this step before, hating the way that the social worker had grilled them and then jotted things down on her paper pad. He gave her fingers a little squeeze, reminding her that he was there for her.

“I think they are going well. She’s talking more now and seems to be doing well at daycare. Her therapist hasn’t seemed worried about her.”

Miss Ander nodded her head as she scribbled on her note pad. “I’m glad to hear that she’s doing well in those areas. I had gathered that there were no developmental issues associated with the loss from the reports we’ve received, and it was a relief that she didn’t seem to have too many emotional issues.”

That was news to Oliver. He hadn’t been aware that the therapist was sending stuff to the social worker. He sat up a little straighter and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“How long has that been going on?” He asked and waited for the social worker’s eyes to meet his. She sat back and tapped her pen against her notepad. “Did we authorize that kind of contact?”

“Oliver, I don’t-”

  
“No it’s okay Felicity. It wasn’t an option given. You may be her guardian, but until I sign off officially I was still in charge of making sure things were going well. Again, I didn’t have any worries, mainly because of those reports from the therapists. I hope you won’t feel like you’ve been watched, because that’s not what's happened. I wish that all families would go through a therapist and make sure that the emotional and mental health of the child was a priority.”

Oliver sat back, it made sense. It just was unsettling to know that they had no actual say in the matter. “Thank you for explaining.”

It was Felicity’s turn to slide her hand along his forearm, grounding him and easing him beyond words.

Miss Ander cleared her throat and turned back to her notepad, “How do you feel you are handling the care of her? Do you feel more settled into your new roles as her caregivers?”

Felicity shifted beside him, she leaned forward to place her coffee mug on the coffee table. “I like to believe it's going well. I don’t know about Oliver but sometimes I’ve had my own problems adjusting but mostly I feel like I am doing the best I can for her. There are days when maybe I’m out of my element but those are becoming fewer and farther apart. Oliver?”

“It has definitely been an adjustment but I feel that we are doing a good job. I believe that Tommy and Laurel would be happy,” Oliver answered honestly and the social worker smiled clicking her pen again before scribbling silently for a moment.

Livi chose that moment to remind them that she was there. She walked toward the coffee table with her tea pot in hand. She held it over Miss Ander’s cup. “Mo’e?”

Miss Ander looked up and smiled brightly at Livi. “Hi Livi, yes I would love some more.”

“Otay,” Livi stated happily as she pretended to pour from the teapot into the cup. “All dood.”

She moved over to where Oliver and Felicity sat and offered to them as well. Any of the remaining tension in his body left him as he watched Livi. How could anyone look at Livi and worry about how she was?

“She appears to be a very happy well-adjusted toddler. Not many toddlers will openly approach someone that isn’t familiar to them,” Miss Ander said as she tucked her pad and pen back into her bag and picked her cup back up, sipping from it. “Thank you Livi, this is very good.”

Oliver smiled as Livi smiled back.

“Ou elcom,” Livi tried to say, heading back to the toy kitchen.

“I wish I could explain to the two of you how refreshing it is to see a toddler who has lost so much be so comfortable in her own space to play so quickly with someone like me. So many end up closed up and shy. You two are doing a wonderful job,” Miss Ander stated as she slipped her empty mug back onto the coffee table.

“She’s definitely a blessing,” Felicity answered watching Livi stir something imaginary in a pot. Oliver squeezed her fingers in agreement.

“I’ve seen so many of these situations and most don’t end well. People who have never had children often are unprepared to deal with suddenly having one thrust upon them. You two have taken to it like naturals,” Miss Ander replied, smiling fondly at Livi. She turned to them. “I’m so relieved that things are going so well here. I do believe that this will be the last time I’ll invade your space or take your time. I hope you know though that you can call me anytime. With any questions you may have. But from here on out I think it’s best to just let you all live your lives.”

Oliver sighed out in relief, Felicity gave a similar sound. Though they had pretty much put most of this behind them, so much so they’d forgotten there needed to be another meeting, he was happy to have it done with. They would officially be able to just live without second guessing things.

Miss Ander stood then and pulled her coat on. She lifted her bag and slipped it onto her shoulder. “Thank you for the coffee Felicity.”

“You didn’t need to stay longer?” Felicity asked as she stood up, Oliver followed and the social worker shook her head.

“I really don’t feel there is a need. I also wanted to congratulate you on your engagement,” she said as they moved out of the living room toward the front door.

“How’d you-”

“Your ring is very lovely Felicity, Oliver you did a wonderful job on that one,” Miss Ander replied, looking down to button her coat. When her eyes met theirs again, she looked genuinely happy for them. “I hope you all have a wonderful life together.”

“Thank you, Miss Ander,” Oliver said as he opened the door for her.

“Thank you, for taking in Livi when you didn’t have to. For sacrificing your own lives to take care of her.”

“I don’t think we sacrificed very much,” Felicity stated as she wrapped her arm around Oliver’s waist. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

Oliver smiled down at her a warmth filling him. He had to agree with her, it was hard to look at what he’d gained in Felicity and Livi as anything other than a blessing. He hadn’t sacrificed anything to be with them.

“Have a wonderful new year you two,” Miss Ander said as she waved behind her.

“You too, thank you!” Felicity called back.

They turned as Oliver closed the door. Felicity moved toward the living room, turning to look at him as he turned in her direction.

“So that’s over,” he said, relief making him feel light.

“Can you believe we forgot that there needed to be one last meeting?” Felicity asked leaning in the doorway.

“I can, and I’m glad. It means that we weren’t worrying about it. Now it’s done with,” Oliver said moving into the living room. Where there were all kinds of toys spread across the space, things that Livi had received as gifts that still needed homes. None of it mattered though as he sat on the floor next to the play kitchen that held Livi’s attention.

“Hi Livi,” he said, drawing her attention away from the stove.

“Hi dada,” she smiled, looking back at the pot she had and stirred.

“I love you,” he said and she looked back at him, her smile widened. The dimple that only showed when she was truly happy puckered her perfect little cheek. All that mattered was this little girl and her happiness.

“Ove ou dada,” she said back, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “Eat?”

She held the spoon out to him and he chuckled and pretended to eat it. His eyes met Felicity’s across the room, just as she wiped away a tear. They hadn’t had the easiest go, but this was what mattered the most.

 

~O~

 

Pink and green streamers criss crossed across the dining room ceiling. Matching balloons littered the floor. Livi sat in her high chair, the same streamers hanging off the edge of the tray. She smiled wide as Felicity sat a small cake with two candles burning on it in front of her. They had practiced multiple times in the days leading up to her party, wanting to have the perfect shot for the pictures.

Livi knew that they would sing and then she could blow out the candles. It had become one of her favorite games. She clapped as everyone began to sing ‘Happy Birthday’. Oliver began recording it onto his phone.

Everyone sang, “Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Dear Livi!! Happy Birthday to you!”

Livi sang along with everyone in the best way she could, then blew at the candles, yelling “Yay!” when they all went out together. Cheers surrounded them as Livi beamed a bright happy smile at them. “Take mama! Take!”

“Okay, Livi, just a moment,” Felicity said removing the candles and moving the cake to cut a piece for Livi. Oliver stopped his recording and slipped his phone into his back pocket.

“She is so darling,” Moira said at his side.

Oliver looked to his mother, she stood at his elbow, holding his sleeping nephew. Liam Roy Harper at two months old was more interested in sleeping and eating than anything else.

“Thank you, mom, she really is,” Oliver replied reaching over to right Liam’s little hat. The baby’s nose wrinkled and Oliver couldn't help but smile. “She’s one of the best things in our world.”

“How are you doing my sweet boy?” His mother asked, low and quiet just for him.

Oliver let his hand drop away from his nephew as he met her gaze. She’d always been able to see right through him. What he found reflecting in her eyes made him swallow around a sudden knot in his throat. He returned his gaze to Livi where she made a mess with a slice of cake. Felicity and Donna worked at handing out slices to the rest of the guests from a larger cake. It was a fun party so far but he felt somewhat outside it, his heart not in it.

“I suppose I'm okay,” he answered, his voice lower and more affected than he thought it would be. He thought he had everything under control. What did he have to complain about? Why wouldn't he be okay? He was alive, wasn't he?

It had hit him hard that morning that Tommy wouldn't get to experience his daughter turning two. Just the year before they'd thrown a big bash to celebrate her first year of life. Then Tommy's had ended two months later.

“You've done a good job of covering up your grief,” Moira said softly, rocking Liam in her arms. “But I can see it. I've lived and walked the road you're walking. It's a bit different since Tommy was much older but I know what you're going through. I hate that you’re going through this.”

Oliver looked back to her, a deep sadness that he hadn't witnessed in a while shown in his mother’s eyes.

“I felt so sad and lost after Rebecca and Malcolm died. Rebecca had been my best friend and confidant. Tommy resembled her the most and having to see him daily, though it was nice to have him still in our lives, it was a challenge,” Moira explained softly, watching him closely.

Oliver blew out a breath and blinked his eyes, they were dry and prickly. She was explaining exactly what he was feeling at that moment. Here they were celebrating Livi’s life and all he could feel was guilt and sadness.

“It's so hard sometimes mom. To look at Livi and see all the wonderful things she's doing now. Things that Tommy would have loved,” Oliver admitted softly. “Her little sense of humor can brighten even the darkest days, definitely all Tommy there,” Oliver looked in Livi’s direction. She was putting a rather large bite of cake into her mouth. Making a big mess of herself. “Laurel is ever present in her capacity to just love you no matter what, even when you're having a grumpy day.”

His heart hurt and he knew that it wouldn't be the last time he struggled with that particular pain. The one year anniversary was just around the corner. He looked back at his mother, a sad understanding look met him. She had lived this once before. She knew all too well the war of emotions kept just under wraps.

“It's not fair that I get to experience her growing up without them,” Oliver said feeling that was his biggest issue with all of this. That he was here getting to do it when they couldn’t.

“I know the feeling very well. But they haven't missed any of it Oliver. Just because they aren't here doesn't mean they aren't privy to what's going on. I believe they see it, maybe even help guide you when you aren’t sure what to do. I think they would be proud of you and Felicity,” Moira touched his face. “Keep doing what you're doing. Lean on each other and enjoy these milestones the best you can. All too soon you'll want these times back.”

His mother’s words touched him in such a manner he could feel the guilt let go. She was right of course. She was living proof that you could survive this, that you could come out on the other side. The guilt wasn’t worth holding onto. It wasted the time they had. He knew it himself, he’d said as much to Felicity, but sometimes you just needed to be reminded.

“Thanks, mom,” Oliver leaned into her touch before she drew her eyes back to Liam in her arms as he shifted, one eye opening then closing again.

“Now go have cake with your daughter and wife to be,” she instructed firmly, making Oliver chuckle. “I think this little one needs a new diaper.”

“Okay,” he leaned in and kissed her cheek watching her walk away.

Oliver made his way over to where Felicity was busy trying to clean up the cake and frosting off of Livi. She set the wet cloth to the side and lifted Livi down out of her chair. She darted off after Andrew Diggle, gigglings following her. He caught Felicity around the waist before she could move away, needing to touch her and feel her close to him. She grounded him in all the ways that no one else could.

“Hey sweets,” Felicity greeted him, leaning in to press a kiss to his jaw. Her hand rubbed a soothing path over his chest. “How are you doing?”

“Good now,” he said pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and tightening his grasp on her as he hugged her..

“Good now?” Felicity looked up at him, he could see the undercurrent of concern in her eyes. “Is that to imply you weren’t good at some time today? Is there something wrong?”

“No. It doesn’t matter, I’m better now and that’s all that matters,” Oliver offered her a genuine smile, and he watched as her concern melted away, a smile lifting her lips.

“If you’re sure,” she started and he nodded.

“I’m sure. Just a little bit of blues but I’m good now,” he admitted quickly and she nodded in understanding. “How about we go help Livi open her gifts?”

“Sounds like a good idea, before little Andy helps her with it without us,” Felicity said with a chuckle.

“Felicity?” Oliver said before she could pull away, her eyes met his.

“Yes, Oliver?”

“I love you!”

Felicity hummed and moved up onto her tiptoes to press a soft promising kiss to his lips. “I love you too Oliver. Always.”

~O~

 

Oliver laced his fingers with Felicity’s as they walked through the grassy field of the cemetery. Slowly making their way back to Laurel and Tommy’s grave, they already left a small bouquet of flowers at Sara’s. Felicity thought she should have the bouquet that she didn’t get to carry.

He rubbed his thumb over her palm, his thumb caught on her wedding ring. The cold platinum twisted as he pushed his thumb against it. He looked down at their hands and smiled until he saw her dress dragging across the damp grass.

Felicity walked barefoot because the heels she’d worn for the wedding kept sinking into the earth so he carried them in his other hand. It made her even shorter, so more dragged. The worry for the stains this would cause he slowed to a stop.

“Felicity, you’re going to get grass stains on your dress.”

“Oliver’ it’s fine,” Felicity said again with a shake of her head, squeezing his fingers, tugging him back into motion. “Don’t worry about it.”

Felicity had been saying it since that morning. She woke up crying - “Don’t worry Oliver, I’m okay I promise.” The caterer called to inform them that the refrigerator had failed over night, but they were working to put something else together to offer their guests - “Oliver, it’s not something I’m going to worry about. They’ll handle it.”

The list went on and each time she brushed it off. If she hadn’t sounded so confident every time she said it he would have worried that she was just shoving it down for later. But she would give him that smile that was genuine without a hint of wavering. So finally, he decided that he’d let it go and just listen to her.

He continued to follow her, once again rubbing his thumb over her ring. Letting h ground him to this moment. Amazed at how far they’d come in just a year.

When Felicity had first introduced the idea of getting married on the same day that they lost their best friends he had not been very receptive. Going as far as to tell her she was out of her mind to think that was a good day. Why would they want one of the happiest days of their lives tied to one of the most devastating?

Felicity had looked at him, cocking her head just a bit to the side. _“Because it will offset all the sadness, and because it was the start of us. Us together, us as a family.”_

Oliver didn’t have anything to say after that. He felt unsettled about choosing a date that was the same in which he lost his brother. So his answer had been no, and Felicity shrugged it off. They’d just have to choose another day, though, they found that they couldn’t agree upon one. They had reached a stalemate.

Until Livi’s second birthday. Oliver’s talk with his mother made him realize that all Tommy and Laurel would have wanted was for them to be happy. That them living their lives was natural and they shouldn't be afraid to be happy.

Against all the odds he and Felicity had managed to find their way together. Either one of them could have said no way and gone their separate ways. But here they were doing the best they could. They loved Livi in a manner he thought that Tommy and Laurel would be proud of.

Felicity was right. That day wasn't just the end of their lives. It was the start of something else, the beginning of them and the start of their family. So why not get married on that same date? Not to erase the loss but to add something happy to it.

After he gave her the go ahead Felicity and his mother threw themselves into planning.

Oliver helped where he could, mostly with Livi so that the women in his life could do what they do. His mother hadn't been exactly enthused with such a short deadline, but being a Queen meant she was able to pull a lot of last minute strings. She was becoming really good at fast planning. She told him at least she only had two children and after July she wouldn’t have to worry about another wedding to plan for a very long time.

Oliver thought everything was going smoothly until one evening when Felicity sat nervously at the island while they ate dinner. It was the first time he’d actually saw her worried about the wedding planning. After watching her push her food around her plate, and her worried glances at him he’d finally had enough and asked her what was wrong.

“Nothing… nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something is wrong?” She stammered, caught off guard.

Oliver chuckled, “I know something is wrong because you love that kind of pasta and you keep pushing it around and the look on your face… What’s going on?”

“Well… I had an idea. Your mom said that she wasn’t sure it was a good one, and maybe it isn’t. I can’t decide but then the more I think about it or try to think about something else the more it seems like the right-”

“Felicity, what’s the idea?” Oliver grabbed her hand out of the air as it flew past his face, tugging it into his lap.

“I well… didn’t I say it?” Felicity stared at him. He could almost make out the crunch of the gears in her head as she played back what she had just been rambling on about.

“No, you haven’t.”

“Oh well…” she swallowed and squeezed his fingers. “I think I want to have the ceremony at the chapel in the cemetery.”

“Why the chapel?” Oliver asked wondering why she’d want to do it there. He remembered how much she had loved Thea’s wedding. When they first started talking about the wedding she’d said it would be nice to do something similar.

“I had this idea that we could…” Felicity paused, chewing her lip, watching him.

“Yes?” He prompted, watching her closely. She seemed so flighty, like what she was going to say would make him upset.

“I thought that we could walk to their grave after the ceremony. I mean we don’t have to, maybe that’s too morbid right? Yeah maybe it is. Your mom looked at me weird when I said it too. Like people wouldn’t want to go, and I don’t want everyone to go, just the photographer, maybe Livi and family,” she blew out a breath and shrugged. “But I will do whatever you want. The chapel is so small and we would have to keep our guest list for the ceremony very light. I know everyone expects the Queen heir to do this big ban-”

“Felicity, I like it,” Oliver said stopping her mid-ramble, she’d gone on quite long enough.

She stared at him lost for a moment. As if what he said hadn’t registered. He was about to say it again when she finally blinked.

“Really? You do?” She asked in awe.

“Yes, I actually love the idea. It’s not morbid, but it may be sad and I’m glad we’ll keep it just a small ceremony for our family and close friends,” Oliver answered honestly.

It may have been odd, but it felt right to him too. Oliver often found himself down at their grave. It was easier to feel close to them in those moments when he was going through an especially rough day. He knew that Felicity visited often, taking Livi with her sometimes. He once arrived to find Quentin sitting against Sara’s stone, talking to his daughter.

“Since they won’t be there in person, it would be nice to visit them I think,” Oliver added and he nearly fell off his stool when Felicity threw herself into his arms.

“Thank you, Oliver,” she said as she kissed his cheek and pressed her face into his neck. “I love you, thank you so much.”

That’s how they’d ended up walking through the cemetery on their wedding day.

Oliver thought for sure that once they got to the grave that the depression would hit him instead he found peace. Felicity dropped his hand in order to kneel in the grass. She pulled her dress up, Oliver tried to help. There were so many layers of lace to her vintage inspired dress.

He bit his tongue over warning her again about grass stains.

“Hi Lulu, it’s me Lic,” Felicity said as she traced over Laurel’s name. He would have to remember to ask her about those nicknames later. “Today is a hard day.”

Oliver dropped down into the grass beside her, listening to Felicity describe their day.

Their ceremony had been small and intimate. Since neither of them could see anyone else filling the roles of Maid of Honor or Best Man other than Laurel or Timmy they decided to have none. Livi walked down spreading flowers with little Andy Diggle beside her carrying the rings. Oliver stood alone at the altar and waited for Quentin to walk Felicity down the aisle toward him.

Felicity had kept the dress a secret, Oliver was grateful. He'd forever have the image of her in his mind. His throat had gone dry when Oliver saw her for the first time, walking toward him, the sun streaming in through the high windows of the chapel. She was chewing her lip until she looked up, her blue eyes locking on his. The smile that came to her was the brightest he’d ever seen.

Their vows were simple, traditional. Felicity’s hand trembled as she pushed his ring into place. The heavy wide platinum band was similar to the one he placed on hers. A satisfaction he’d never known filled him when the platinum band slid into its new home.

Everything in his life had led him to that moment. Oliver thanked Tommy again for meeting Laurel, and eventually leading him to Felicity. Their deaths would not be in vain. They would live their lives as best as they could to honor them. Starting with their daughter and ending with each other.

“It wasn't the same without you Lulu but I think you would have loved it. Thank you for bringing us together,” Felicity said as she moved to stand, her hand shaking as she used the top of the gravestone as leverage. Oliver rose to his feet beside her. “We miss you every day.”

Felicity’s voice broke at the end making Oliver's heart ache painfully in his chest. The sadness in her tone had him reaching for her. She turned into his chest, her shoulders shaking as she began to cry.

Oliver blinked his eyes rapidly trying to keep his own tears at bay, he failed when Felicity sobbed into his chest her fingers holding tightly to his tux jacket. A tear tipped over, burning its way down his cheek. He pressed his cheek into the top of her head and tightened his arms around her.

Oliver isn't sure how long they stood there, clinging to each other. Felicity had long stopped crying, just letting him hold her close. A throat clearing nearby drew Oliver’s attention. Their driver was standing, a reluctant look about him, the photographer was close to his side.

“We hate to interrupt but you had insisted on leaving at a certain time,” the driver said, shifting awkwardly on his feet.

Felicity chuckled as she wiped her face. “It’s okay Cole. Thank you.”

“We were done, just enjoying a bit of quiet,” Oliver offered as he looped his arm around Felicity’s waist and they made their way toward the waiting limo.

“Because now there won’t be quiet for the rest of the evening,” Felicity added with a laugh as she slipped into the limo.

 

\---O---

 

Felicity had been right.

The reception was busy and loud by the time they arrived. All their guests had had ample time to enjoy the champagne and snacks. It ended up resembling a large party instead of a wedding reception. They were announced as they arrived. Everyone cheered, happy for them.

Oliver wondered why he’d doubted them getting married on this day at all. What better way to honor their friends than to be surrounded by those that they loved, and loved them?

Dinner was served, speeches skipped for the same reasons that they’d gone without bridesmaids and groomsmen. No one seemed to be bothered at all. The photographer and her crew mingled with the guests, recording messages for them and the band started.

Oliver smiled and stood up. Felicity was chatting with her mother and Thea beside her as he cleared his throat and tapped her shoulder. Her bright smile greeted him as she turned in his direction, to falter as she realized he was standing. Her eyes met his and one eyebrow quirked up.

“We don’t have to do that,” Felicity stated and bit her lip.

“Oh but we do,” Oliver said with a laugh holding his hand out to her.

“Oliver,” she groaned and looked down.

“Oh come on Felicity, you have too,” Thea encouraged beside her.

“Mrs. Queen,” Felicity looked up at him and he winked at her. “May I have this dance?”

Felicity rolled her eyes and sighed, placing her hand in his. “Of course Mr. Queen.”

Oliver tugged her up out of the chair and she laughed.

“Have fun baby girl!” Donna called behind them as they made their way out onto the dance floor.

“I can’t believe we are doing this,” Felicity mumbled.

“It’s our wedding, you really thought you’d get out of dancing with me on your wedding day?” Oliver asked as he spun her. Their guests around them cheered and whistled.

Felicity settled against his chest, their fingers laced together as he settled his other hand low on her spine. They swayed to the slow song that the band chose. They hadn’t been able to pick any one song, so opted to let the band play whatever they wanted.

“I didn’t expect to get out of it, but I hoped,” Felicity answered smiling up at him.

“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” Olive said, rubbing his hand over the lace covering her spine, pulling her closer guiding her along as the moved over the dance floor. Other couples joining.

“I just don’t get the importance of a first dance,” Felicity voiced as she shook her head.

“Well for me it says a lot about the chemistry between people. You can learn a lot by the way someone relaxes into a dance,” Oliver answered, moving to twirl her again.

Felicity’s giggle filled the air around them as she came back to him breathless, eyes shining. It brought back the memory of their first dance at the studio. When she was just taking lessons. He was sure that was the moment when he’d started to fall for her. He didn’t think of it that way at the time, but it was the tipping point. Seeing her so free, and then the stab of unwarranted jealousy over her laughing with Palmer.

It had definitely been that moment when things slowly started to change in him.

“Our first dance at those lessons for Tommy and Laurel’s wedding is what set things in motion for us you know,” Oliver voiced for the first time.

“Oliver that was forever ago,” Felicity whispered.

“I know, but it’s true. I’ll forever love dancing with you,” Oliver looked down into her eyes and she smiled, stepping on the side of his foot and it slipped into a grimace. Oliver laughed and kissed her forehead. “Even when you step on my feet.”

Hours later when they stumbled through the door to their hotel room Oliver had the thought that he could really love this life. Everything was more fun and full of color with her. He leaned against the closed door and watched as Felicity wandered toward the bed. She turned and fell backward, laughing as she bounced. All the layers of lace billowed around her legs.

“Oh man, I’m so tired,” Felicity groaned out, her arms spread wide and eyes closed. “Laurel warned me. She said she passed out as soon as she sat on the bed the night of their wedding. I thought she was exaggerating.”

Oliver kicked out of his shoes and loosened his tie as he made his way toward his bride. He dropped his tux jacket on the back of the chair he passed and stopped at the foot of the bed to look at her. Felicity’s hair was a mess of riotous curls across the bed. She had pulled the pins free of it in the limo. Her cheeks were rosy pink from the champagne they’d shared on the ride over. He straddled her knees and leaned over her, holding himself aloft with one hand on either side of her waist.

The dipping of the bed had Felicity opening one eye. She peered up at him while she bit her lip.

“Too tired?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow. It may have been an exhausting and emotional day, but Oliver was anything but tired.

“I doubt I’m that tired,” she winked up at him. Her hands came up to cradle his jaw as she lifted up toward him. Oliver met her halfway pressing a soft kiss to her lips. She gave a soft whimper and he nipped her bottom lip, dipping his tongue into her mouth when she opened for him. He moved one hand to skim over her side, the delicate lace gliding under his palm. She dropped away, breaking their kiss, breathless. “Help me with this dress?”

The best idea he'd heard all day. “Sure, roll over.” 

Felicity rolled over onto her belly, presenting him with the row of buttons that ran down her back. It offered a beautiful image but irritated him. He would have to undo all of them before they could get her out of the dress. How he wanted to see what she had on under it.

Oliver started with the top button, pressing soft kisses down her spine as he moved. Felicity hummed below him as he delicately handled the buttons and lace. He finally reached the bow pulling it free. He slid his hands up her bare back then down around her stomach, pressing a kiss at the base of her neck. He was going to help her roll over when he heard the first soft snore. Oliver chuckled and pressed his forehead into her shoulder blade.

Felicity had fallen asleep. He tugged her over, the top of her dress just barely covering her, but she didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid. The day had finally caught up with her.

“Felicity?” He said softly, watching her sleep. He was met with another soft snore. He was amazed at her beauty. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, even if she was putting a damper on his plans.

Not having the heart to wake her, Oliver reached over and turned off the side table light, plunging them into darkness. He laid on his back and pulled her close to him. Felicity nestled close, pressing her face into his neck before sighing and her body went heavy against his. He closed his eyes and ran his hand slowly up and down her bare back. He smiled as he thought of all the ways this night could have ended, but he was just grateful to have her in his arms.

Their lives could have been so much different if it hadn’t been for their friends. Though it had been hurt that brought them finally together, it would be the comfort of each other that would carry them through. Oliver looked forward to whatever this new life had in store for them.

 

The End

  



	23. Epilogue- Liv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end my dears. If you're looking for something new to read, join me as I start my Sometimes Life sequel, you can find it under my works. Thank you so much for the kind words and love for this story. I've enjoyed it and appreciate every bit of feed back I've received. Thank you!! ~C

Epilogue - Liv

“Livi!!”

Liv could hear her mother calling for her from the hall, she smiled and nuzzled the soft skin of the baby in her arms a moment more before the beautiful calm was broken. Because if she knew anything it was that her mother did not equal quiet. Unless she was scheming and then you had to look out.

A moment later the door slid open and her mother swept into the room. Her father ambled slowly behind her. He carried a vase of flowers and a couple of balloons.

“There you are!! The lady at the desk failed to mention that there were four different halls now and that you weren’t in the first but the third. Who thought of changing the maternity ward here anyways. Oliver, did your sister have her hand in that or was that solely your mother’s decision?” her mother chattered on as she sat several gift bags down on the floor and fluttered her way to Liv’s bedside.

“I couldn't say, you'd have to talk to them,” he moved around her bed, placing the flowers on the stand and leaned over to kiss her temple. “Hey there, baby doll.”

Liv leaned into her dad. It floored her that, even at twenty-four, married and now a mom, he still called her baby doll. She thought for sure he would have given it up. Apparently, you never outgrew family pet names.  

Felicity and Oliver weren’t really her mother and father but had been since she was old enough to truly remember. Felicity was bright and beautiful, always rambling at anxious times. She loved with every bit of her heart, and there was plenty to go around. Oliver was the quiet, stoic joker of the pair. But he too loved with an open heart, always available as a shoulder to cry on.

Liv loved them more than she had words for. Though it hadn’t always seemed that way.

When she was thirteen she’d decided she didn’t want to acknowledge them as her mom and dad anymore. Looking back Liv still couldn’t remember what had set her off, but at the time she was angry and unhappy with her world. She wanted her real parents back and didn’t care that _that_ couldn't happen. It was impossible because they were dead.

Instead of going to them to get help with it, she decided she would make their life a living hell. Starting with calling them by their first names. Then it was ignoring them, trying to drive all the power they thought they had away. She started sneaking over to Noni and Pop’s house. Liv never thought to question why they didn’t make her go home.

The fact that Felicity and Oliver treated her with understanding only made her angrier. So she tried harder to push them away. Sneaking out, skipping school, anything that she thought would work. It was a rough couple of years, where they all circled each other.

It took a gift Pop dropped off for her, on her sixteenth birthday, to wake her up. A box, that her real mother had left with him at one point before their death. He’d told her it was a memento box, that he thought she should have. At first, she refused to open it. Being a typical mood driven teenager she had said “Thanks” and promptly shoved it in her closet.

A month later while cleaning out the bottom of the closet she came across it. It mocked her for a while as she moved it to sit on her bed. She thought about just throwing the whole thing in the trash. That would show all of them. Instead, curiosity won out and she sat on the floor of her room to open it.

They weren’t just any mementos, the contents were what her mother had collected from the day she was born and after. The first thing she pulled from it was a pink and purple dress. She remembered this particular dress. It was in a picture downstairs on the mantel. It was her going home dress. Under that lay a tiny pair of shoes, a crib card with her birth stats on it, a pink knit cap and the tiny bracelets she wore at the hospital. Two more were inside the box, one with her mother’s name printed in fading ink, the other was the same only it created a larger ring. It must have been her father’s. She couldn’t bring herself to touch them.

Under the bracelets, she caught her name written in neat print on a light blue envelope. She grabbed the corner and pulled it up. She ran her hand over her name. She could just barely make out the impression from the pen it had been written with.

**_Olivia Megan Merlyn_ **

She frowned at the envelope and passed it from one hand to the other. She made to put it back in the box when she changed her mind. Huffing out a short breath she pulled out the folded pages from inside it. Again curiosity won. It was a letter from her real mother.

 

_Dearest Olivia,_

_Hi, baby girl. I’m your mommy. Wow… I just wrote that. I’m your mommy. The weight of that hasn’t lessened over the last 72 hours. It’s just as scary and crazy as it was the first moment that you were born._

_You my sweetness came a whole month early!  Tsk tsk. You scared me half to death. Not really. Don’t worry you’re perfect. Beyond perfect really. Daddy and I couldn’t have imagined you more perfect. I need to pick a different word than perfect. I’m a lawyer, I should have better words._

_Anyway, I wanted to write you a little letter since you’re currently sleeping peacefully on daddy’s chest. I think he loves you more than me right now, but that’s okay. I guess I can share. :)_

_I wanted to let you know that it won’t always be peachy. This life of ours. I know I’m going to be so sleepy tomorrow because, though you’re napping right now, you’ll want to nurse all night. It seems to be your favorite thing after all. But I'm going to try very hard to be a good mom because you're worth it._

_I want to tell you a secret. One that I hope you’ll understand._

_I didn’t think I wanted this. To be a mom._

_Don’t get me wrong I’m so happy and relieved to have you, I know how much of a blessing it is. But it comes with all this fear. Fear that I’m not going to be a good mom, or fear that we won’t raise you the right way, or worst of all fear that something will happen. That something will take me away from you._

_You see your grandma, she was wonderful from what I remember of her, but she died days after my sister, your Auntie Sara, was born. I still remember the pain it caused my dad and I remember the deep feeling of loss that stuck with us for a long time. Even now there isn't a day that I don't miss her and wish she were here._

_So when your daddy said he’d love to have a baby, I wasn’t in love with the idea. It terrified me. Especially since your daddy is an orphan, technically speaking anyways. His parents died when he was just a little boy. That’s not a great track record, so my worry was only made worse by our past._

_I expressed all my worries and fears to him about it. Instead of being upset he told me he understood and that we didn’t have to have a baby. He was happy to just have me, and he dropped it. Your daddy is a great man baby girl!_

_I didn’t know what to do, what the best decision would be. I love your daddy very much and I could see the excitement in his eyes over the idea of having a baby. So I did the only thing I could think of… I called my other mom._

_You see sweetie, sometimes when you lose one mom you’re given another one. Even your daddy, though he lost his parents, gained a whole new family with the Queens. I didn’t gain a whole new family, but I feel I did gain a mom and a sister._

_I met her when I was five, the same day I met my best friend, your other Auntie Felicity. Donna is everything I think my mama would have wanted me to have in another mother. She is spunky, creative, a little flighty and over dramatic but so wise. She also knows how to love. She does it with her whole heart and without even trying. Her and Auntie Felicity are a lot alike, though don’t tell her I said that Felicity wouldn’t like it._

_Anyhow, I called her and I cried as I told her about your daddy wanting to start a family and all the reasons that I thought having a baby would be such a big mistake. I poured out all my fears and insecurities, all of it. What if something bad happened to me?_

_She waited until I was done and then she tsk’d at me over the phone. I remember her words so clearly._

_“Lulu, my baby girl, why ever would you let those thoughts into your head. Borrowing trouble is not how you should live your life. If you want to be a momma be a momma. If you think that is too much for you then don’t. You shouldn’t let fear drive your decisions.”_

_She went on to tell me that I could be a great mother but I wouldn’t know if I didn’t go for it. That I had so much love to share and why shouldn’t I experience everything that life has to offer. She said that being a mom to all of us, your Auntie Felicity, me and your Auntie Sara, was the most rewarding and fulfilling thing she’d ever done with her life. That even with the sad things that had happened to bring us to her, she wouldn’t have changed a thing._

_She said, “Lulu, you can’t stop bad things from happening, and you should live in the now instead of worrying about them. If you really are worried, plan. No one plans better than you baby.”_

_She was right about me being a good planner. I plan everything. So when I told your daddy that I wanted to try but we had to plan he agreed. So we did._

_We set paperwork in motion that if something bad happened you would go to my sister or dad. As extra back up though we asked your Auntie Felicity and Uncle Oliver to be your godparents, this would give them an opportunity to be your guardians if anything were to happen. Those two are a silly pair, though they aren’t actually together yet. I have faith that one day they’ll get their heads out of the clouds._

_I know we made a good choice though. They have only known you for three days and already you own them. Trust me, you’ll work your magic. I know with all my heart that if something were to happen to me or your daddy they would be there. That’s just who they are._

_Daddy and I have thought of everything and the plan is tight. Most of my fears have lessened. Looking at your beautiful face makes all of this worth it. I really can’t believe I ever thought that I could do without this. My heart is so full._

_You don’t get to choose what happens to you in your life Olivia, there will be things that happen that you don’t like, that make you angry, but you can overcome all of that. Look to the people who love you, the ones that are there for you when you don’t think you need them. The ones that will listen to your fears and help you through them. Those are the people who will always be there for you, loving you and cheering you on._

_Uh oh… you’re starting to make that noise you make when you are ready to eat. I’m glad I was able to finish this. I love you, my sweet Olivia, forever and always._

_Love your Mommy_

 

Liv had cried when she read it, barely able to make it through without getting tears on the paper. She pulled it into her chest and wished she could have known her mother. She sat there on the floor long past being called down to dinner. She sat until her legs were numb, re-reading the letter. Little did her mother know but she’d shared the words she so desperately needed to hear. After slipping the letter back into the envelope she rushed downstairs and threw her arms around Felicity.

It was probably the first time in years that she’d initiated a hug.

Felicity hugged her tightly, accepting her as if they hadn’t fought just that morning over what Liv chose to wear to school. Liv whispered she was sorry over and over and that she would try to be a better daughter.

_“Livi sweetheart,”_  Felicity held her face between her hands, her eyes misty but firm. _“You could never be a better daughter than you already are.”_ She then pulled Liv in for another hug.

They sat down and talked for the first time in years about her real parents. Oliver and Felicity had both cried, explaining again what had happened. Then told her happy stories of when they were alive. Liv realized that both sets had loved her more than she could have imagined. Felicity and Oliver had given up their single lives in order to fulfill her parent's wishes. Though they assured her that they never once saw it as a sacrifice.

 

“Felicity, dear I don’t think she realized we wouldn’t know where we were going,” Oliver said, drawing Liv back to the present. He shook his head and sighed. “Your mother was already halfway down the hall.”  
“I can believe it,” Liv said and watched as her mother put her hand on her hip.

“Well, I’m excited, okay? It’s not every day that one of your children gives you a grandbaby!” Felicity looked over into Liv’s lap where her son lay sleeping. “Oh my! Oh, Livi! He’s so perfect! May I hold him?”

Liv nodded and lifted her son up into the waiting arms of her mother. She smiled as Felicity lifted him straight up to smell his head, and touch noses. It was so familiar. Something she’d seen her mother do countless times with her siblings. Liv was just four years old when Rebecca Dinah was born, a year later Jonas Thomas followed, and by surprise when she was ten Aaron Robert was born.

They made quite the troop. Rebecca was into computers just like their mother, she was in school working on the same degree their mother had. Jonas had graduated from school and immediately started business school at night and worked with their father during the day. Aaron was still in high school, the perfect blend of their parents, silly and outgoing, but loving and family centered.

Liv fully expected all of them to be by at some point throughout the day.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” Oliver asked as he sat down in the chair beside her bed. Oliver watched as Felicity rocked back and forth. She was slowly unwrapping the wonderful job the nurse had done as she murmured to her grandson. She was mumbling about needing to make sure all his toes were there. Liv chuckled before turning to her dad.

“I’m doing really well, it went smoothly and was over so fast,” Liv explained, shifting to stretch her legs out. “No complications.”

That morning she had woke up feeling a little off, it wasn’t until she’d gotten down the stairs that she realized why she felt off. A contraction stronger than any of the Braxton hicks ones she’d had the day before took her by surprise, and then her water promptly broke. Thankfully Andy hadn’t left for work and he got her to the hospital. Two and a half hours later she pushed her son into the world, screaming and pink.

Jonathan Andrew Diggle was nine pounds ten ounces and twenty-one inches long, all rolls and healthy lungs. Liv knew that her life would never be the same. She’d had an idea from the moment that she decided to become a mom, that her life would forever change, but there was just something about him physically being here. Holding his weight and smelling his unique baby smell. Everything would be different, forever.

“Where’s Andy?” Oliver asked, crossing his arms over his chest. She smiled lovingly at her dad. Ever the protector.

When she had first started dating Andrew Diggle from their neighborhood, close family friends actually, Oliver had not been happy. But Liv was pretty sure that he wouldn’t have liked anyone she brought home. Felicity and Lyla had been over the moon, Liv thinks they secretly hoped for a long time that they would get together.

The day Andy proposed she’d been elated and it was an easy yes. Then he told her about how Oliver had said no when he asked him. She’d been appalled and reported it to her mother right away. Andy got a call from Oliver to go to dinner where she’s sure he only apologized because Felicity had used her loud voice. Liv loved her dad, even if he could be irrational about his girls growing up. She couldn’t wait to see how he reacted to Rebecca’s boyfriend asking, she knew it was coming soon.

“He’s run to get me food actually and pick up our hospital bag, since… well, we forgot it in the rush,” Liv chuckled at the end. They hadn’t thought to just keep it in the car.

“I wish you would have called us when it first started, we would have been here sooner.”

“Oliver, she would have but she was in the middle of something really important,” Felicity chided turning toward them. “Here, hold your grandson and stop being such a grump.”

“I’m just saying that had Andrew called, we could have been over sooner-”

“Here’s your grandson,” Felicity cut him off, thrusting John into Oliver’s arms. “Say hello to baby Jonathan.”

Oliver frowned for half a beat before Liv watched her father’s mood melt. Gone was the irritation replaced with some of the awe she knew she felt when she first held her son. Oliver smiled as he looked down at the baby, shifting him until he was settled in the crook of his arm.

“Hey little one,” Oliver rocked her son in his arms. “I’m your Papa.”

“Really?” Felicity asked sitting down on the bed next to Liv. “All the names he wanted to be called, he chooses papa. You know I suggested it eons ago and he didn’t want it.”

“I’m not surprised mom,” Liv bumped shoulders with her mother. “He’s starting to look like a papa.”

They both laughed and Oliver’s glare only made them giggle louder. Liv held her stomach, still sore from the events of the day. “Love you, dad,” she said through the giggles.

“Sure,” He replied going back to looking at his grandson.

Felicity turned to look at her. “You look really good. I don’t think I ever looked that good after your sister and brothers.”

“You were gorgeous Felicity,” Oliver said while shaking his head. “You both are.”

“Was Andy accurate when he said he was nine pounds?” Felicity asked, changing the subject as a light blush colored her cheeks. Liv loved seeing them in those moments. Loving and sweet, still complementing each other.

“He’s actually nine pounds ten ounces,” Liv corrected. Felicity whistled at her side.

“Feels about right,” Oliver said as he chuckled. “He’ll be just as strong as his father and grandfather I imagine.”

“It’s those Diggle family genes,” Felicity said bumping Liv’s shoulder again.

“What about them?” Andy’s voice announced his return, Liv looked in his direction and couldn’t help but smile. He stood in the doorway a Big Belly Burger bag in one hand and her suitcase in the other. Liv bit her lip at the sight. Her handsome husband filled the opening of the door, built like his dad, with the blue diaper bag that she received as a gift from Aunt Thea hung from his shoulder.

“Oh, we were just admiring how big and healthy your little boy is,” Felicity said, hopping off the bed to pluck the food bag from Andy. He shook his head giving Liv that ‘can you believe her’ look. Liv shrugged in answer. Felicity opened the food bag and sat back down on the bed beside her. “I hope there is enough food in here.”

“There should be,” Liv reached over and took the burger that Felicity handed to her. “Thanks for the food babe.”

“You’re welcome, mom and dad are on their way,” Andy set the other bags down on the floor and moved over to watch Oliver with their baby.

“I would have thought they’d be here already,” Felicity stated, sounding amazed. “Did you guys really do this all by yourself? We called everyone when Becs was born.”

“Well, we knew that if we called anyone it would have to be you first,” Andy said moving over to the bed to grab the other burger that Felicity held out toward him, then moved over and dropped down onto the couch.

“Why me?” Felicity asked, looking between the pair.

“Because you would have been disappointed,” Liv offered after she swallowed her bite of food. Liv knew her mom. Sure, she would have been fine not being the first person called but deep down it would bug her. Felicity liked to know things about her kids ASAP. Jonas had fallen at school one day and bumped his head, the school nurse hadn’t thought anything about it, they didn’t call or send home a note. But when Jonas came home sleepy and with the bruise and lump Felicity had been livid. Liv had never seen her mother so mad. A trip to the doctor found that he, in fact, had a small concussion. The school never lapsed in calling them after that.

“Oh please not at all, I love Lyla and John. It wouldn’t have bothered me at all,” Felicity said, smoothing her hands over her thighs.

“Yes, it would have,” all three of them said at once.

“No,” Felicity protested. Everyone in the room looked at Felicity. Liv chewed her lip and waited. Her mother threw her hands up and hopped off the bed. “Fine! Okay, you’re right, but that’s only because you are my daughter and I love you, and I always want to be there for you.”

Liv smiled at her mother. It was the truth. It didn’t matter if they didn’t have the same blood running through their veins, Felicity loved her all the same. The moment that Liv’s real mother died, Felicity had become her mom and that had been the end of it.

Liv knew that at the beginning it hadn’t always been simple for Felicity. Over the years as she’s grown up they’ve had longer and more in depth conversations about that time in their lives. There had been an overwhelming feeling of loss and responsibility. But they’d made it through all of it. Oliver and Felicity had loved her like she was their own.

A short while later, the room was full to bursting with family members. Everyone sharing in the joy of another family member to love and dote on. Liv sat on the bed, Felicity at her side.

“How are you feeling dear?” Felicity asked in a hushed whispered as she leaned into Liv’s side.

“Wonderful actually,” Liv answered honestly, she took her mother’s hand when she reached for her. “I should feel wonderful right?”

“Of course,” Felicity chuckled, rubbing her fingers over Liv’s palm. She’d gone quiet while everyone else had continued to talk.

“Thank you for being here for me,” Liv said, turning to look at Felicity. “For being my mom, when you didn’t have to be. I couldn’t have asked for a better mom.”

She watched as Felicity pulled her lip between her lips and looked away. Liv knew that bringing up Laurel would be a hard thing. But she wanted Felicity to know that she couldn’t have asked for a better mother.

“Your mother would have loved to see this day,” Felicity said softly, a lone tear dropped and she quickly swiped it away. “They loved you very much Livi.”

Liv swallowed and smiled. “I know, or else they wouldn’t have made sure that I would be so well cared for. Thank you so much.”

Felicity laughed, “It was nothing.”

“It was everything,” Liv said in answer, because it was.

Even though her real parents couldn’t be here they were felt, in the way that Oliver and Felicity had shared their love with her. The way that Pop sat in the rocker holding his great grandson. Any of them could have said they were done, instead, they pushed forward. Choosing to live as a way to honor her parents.

Looking around at the family that had grown out of that tragic loss Liv knew that they’d be happy. That their lives though cut short, had not been for nothing. Life had gone on not in spite of them, but because of them.

The End


End file.
